Sunday, January 30, 2011

Basket case (I mean, "Yes, I too am blogging the Year of the Bunny Hunt!")

I'll be honest. When I first read about the Year of the Bunny Hunt (Jan. 29 - Feb. 6) on the Magic of Oz and the Ozimals sims, I covered my eyes and screamed, "Too many instructions!" I've gotten lazy.

But I went over there and tried it and it was fun. "And this is the end of my book report." (Sorry. I'm not well these days. I can't write. Look at my bleak, sickly AV, too. Wow, I didn't even realize I was doing that. Maybe I'll feel better if I make her look healthy.)

("Behold!") This Lotus Hanfu is one of FallnAngel Creation's hunt gifts. Love.

Go HERE or HERE and click the hunt sign, which will give you a basket and way better instructions than the ones I'm about to give you. Walk around both sims and click on any gold coins you see. They're everywhere. You'll be awesome at it. When you collect six, you'll get a menu of stores from which you can choose prizes. (And my grammar teacher claps.) Pick a store. You'll get a Chinese good luck symbol that corresponds with that store. Go to the store, wear the symbol and stand within 2 meters of the candy dish there that looks like this:

Then click the symbol — which will be floating over your head — and you'll receive that store's prize. It sounds like a lot of work, but trust me on this, you'll go over there and get in a Zen zone and get into it, I promise.

Here are the participating stores on their respective sims:

Houses for You
Fae Fantasy Bunnies
Jolly Farm

Magic of Oz
*katat0nik* (2 Gifts)
Risusipo Shop
Fae & Tiny Fantasy Creations
Pas De Deux
Falln Angel Creations

I thought about plugging in all the SLURLs, but then I thought about it some more and started crying. Then I thought about being like one of those cool blogs and showing you a picture of every single prize and then I thought about THAT some more and started crying even harder. I'm a failure. I'm sorry.

I got this far before I collapsed:

Green Bunnyflake Eyes by Schadenfreude. The prize also includes a brown pair. Can you find the rabbits in them? It's like a fun little game!

I'm usually not one to run around with stuff sticking out of my mouth, but I'll take this calligraphy pen from Sanu because it looks a little dangerous. Don't laugh or I'll stab you with it. Or cover you with impressive penmanship. If you click it, you — yes, YOU — will get a little gift. I like. It gives me an excuse to run around yelling, "HEY, CLICK MY PEN!" at strangers. Sanu's prize also includes some lovely earrings. I deliberately did not shoot a picture of them because I thought you could use more surprise and delight in your life. (I just spelled "use" like this: "yuse." God help me.) (Hair: Neve in Crow, by Truth)


Let's move on.

Year of the Rabbit Bracelet from Frippery. Creator Elizabeth Tinsley is so damn talented, I never know what to say around her. I get all shy and stuff. (Wow, my wrist looks wonky when I zoom in on it. If you see me in world, don't zoom in on it.)

Cuddle Tree for 2 by Houses for You. I think I'm in the guy's pose here. I should have TPed in a male to pose with me because I look lonely and butch. The tree is beautiful and so is its shadow, though. If I weren't such a jaded, anti-love activist, I'd really love it. Couples will look splendid under it. I'm gonna stop babbling now.

You like my skin? Get it today at The Plastik for Lazy Sunday, 75L. I slapped a red eyeshadow over it because I like to be all dramatic like that.

Year of the Bunny Hunt Start Point One
Year of the Bunny Hunt Start Point Two
The Plastik

Posted Jan. 30, 2011

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Steam up your space (and such)

Sometimes I feel sort of bad for hair designer Truth Hawks — he hardly ever gets any love in the blogosphere. I never see blog posts about his hair anywhere. Bloggers of all shapes and sizes seem to shun and neglect his work. It's a damn shame because he's got some rockin' new hairstyles at Truth this week. Like this Neve style (shown in Amethyst) with optional, color-changeable band.

Oh you like my trippy face tattoo? I do too. It's included in the La Ligne makeup pack that's Virtual/Insanity's 60L Super Bargain Saturday offering. You still have a few hours to grab it — and some creators are even cool enough to leave their Saturday stuff out all weekend. I love those types!

It's also Spruce Up Your Space (SUYS) weekend, which always makes my house AND my linden balance happy. As you probably know, once a month awesome designers put out awesome domestic-type things for an awesome 150L or less. Awesome. This month's SUYS theme is Life of Luxury. That's my kind of theme, baby. *cue Sheila E and "The Glamorous Life"* If you have to ask, you can't afford it (but you don't have to ask and you CAN afford it).

If you want to see everything you can snag this weekend, I'm going to point you in the direction of The Rumor blog, specifically This Post Right Here, which has all the pictures and SLURLs.

So speaking of sprucing up our spaces, let's get steamy for a minute:

OK, the first thing I want you to do is ignore that rezzer box in front. In fact, I put an X through it just so you wouldn't look at it.

This is Belle Belle's SUYS item. Belle Belle never fails to make me shout, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME???" but in a good way. Because LOOK at this Sauna Zen-sation. After this weekend it'll cost 990L. This weekend, however, it's all yours for 150L. Damn! DAYUM!!

It's got 10 animations for 10 avatars in it, which means you can have a big sweaty orgy in there, which reminds me that there's an adult version of this sauna for 1990L. The SUYS special is rated PG.

326 prims; includes interactive fire pit, steam, shower and water tray

I like to shower with my clothes on.

What do you call chillin' in a sauna? Steamin'? It doesn't have the same ring. And yeah, I'm all about the matchy-matchy today. The mini turtleneck dress is Acid & Mala's 60L Super Bargain Saturday item, and if you hate purple, it includes several colors of belts.

Sometimes I like to bring blog posts full circle when I end them, so let's get back to the new hair this week. I'm not sure what planet I've been on, but I just noticed a bunch of new Truth hair colors — colors like babyblue, coolmint, fairyfloss, granny and more. Many of them are nontraditional colors, which is fabulous for those of us who like to lean as far away from reality as we can in SL.

Billie in Babyblue with color-change hat (Eyes in both these pics by Acid & Mala.)

Odetta in Granny. Oh, you don't like bangs? That's OK, you can take them off. OPTIONAL BANGS, BABY! I like it!

Belle Belle
Acid & Mala

Posted Jan. 29, 2011

Thursday, January 27, 2011

I'm going to change this title when I think of one

Oops, it looks like I lost two blog followers. That makes me sad. That also happened when I wrote about breedable chickens too. Dang. I should have learned my lesson back then. Oh well. Frankly, I would run the hell away from this blog right now too if I could. It dwells in the Land of Fail these days.

Anyway . . .

You guys are sick of all those highfalutin fashion pictures out there. I know you are! So here's a simple picture of me, looking slightly stoned, trying to keep my balance in the snow. (Pose: from the Freestylin' set by !bang.) I took this photo on my work computer, which I think was the first Dell computer ever made, so that's my excuse for the bad quality. *cough*

That Chiffon Silk Kerchief skirt from The Secret Store has earned a place in my coveted "Favorite Clothing Ever" folder. Get it at The Dressing Room Blue for a mere 60L. I'm also loving the new short leather jackets (180L) from bubble. That's my fashion blast of the day. Bask in it, baby!

Speaking of babies, I'm beta-testing a prim baby from a new prim baby company, MunBabies:

*listens to the sound of more blog followers running away*

DON'T WORRY! I'm not going to write about it. Frankly, I don't even know what the hell I'm supposed to do with this thing. How do you beta-test a baby? It didn't come with instructions. It cries and laughs and makes a rattle-shaking sound when I poke it. But am I supposed to feed it or something?

Does it breed?

The beta-tester folder included a version to pose with:


That's a little too MILF-y for me. Kind of looks like I'm preparing to give birth AGAIN. Or at least getting ready to conceive. "Open for business, boys! Come to Mama!" (Try that pose in real life -- I can almost guarantee you'll die laughing. I did! In fact, up the laugh factor and do it while you're holding a real baby. In a basket.)

"Hi there, little squinty baby with a toupee! I'm your new stripper mom! Welcome to your new home! Well, actually, it's a big snowy yard. We don't have a lot of furniture right now. Frankly I can't even rez you on my parcel at the moment. Not enough room at the inn and all that. We do have a lot of pets though!"


DON'T LEAVE! I'm not going to write about them, I swear!! Well, except I sold three. WOO HOO! That means I've made about a 700L return on my 25000L investment in these things. I ROCK!

I'm not even interested in selling them anymore. And I'm not even that attached to them as pets. What I love is the power of creation. You know, as in, what happens if I breed this glowing white one with this shiny violet one? It's like having a furry little chemistry set!!

Let's end this post with two quick pics. I like to call this one, "When Bad Pillows Happen to Good Friends":

Ha ha! I went over to check out my friend Epione's new cabin. She writes a blog I love, Translucent Journey. I was touched to see that she's using the furniture I got her for Christmas. For the record, it matched her last house. But she changes houses so often, I should have known better. ("Hi, I got you some pretty pastel furniture for your rustic earth-toned cabin! Now you  have to use it or my feelings will be hurt!") Oops.

She does have a real head, I swear.

And now, a Neon Frog plea:


Please slap this board if you get a chance today. Do it for those of us who long for a moose. Here's your limo.

The Dressing Room Blue
Round Boots in Brown from J's 
MunBabies Blog
Emerald's Cathouse!

Friday, January 21, 2011


I've been feeling really out of sorts lately. For instance, I even stayed home from work today because I had a wild urge to stroll in there and either fire everybody or quit my job. But you know what? It just dawned on me that maybe the reason I'm feeling slightly off is because I've been spending hours and hours over the course of days looking in nooks and crannies for this thing:

Yeah, that's right.

You have 10 days left to finish The Serial Killer Hunt.

And speaking of death, you're going to have to bear with me through one more breedable cats post. Sorry. It's all I've got going on.

I rented some space in the Purfect Kitty cat market. I learned my lesson the hard way with the chickens. Remember? People went wild and snatched up every market stall on the grid? By the time I finally got some really cool rare eggs of my own to sell, there was absolutely nowhere to sell them. I was on waiting lists. WAITING LISTS TO SELL IMAGINARY CHICKENS. (Read that sentence fragment out loud and then pause for a moment as we reflect on how sad my life really is.)

But not this time.

Awwwwwwww yeah, baby! Welcome to Emerald's Cathouse, where the lovin' is good and the kittens are sexy!

It looks spiffy, huh? The camera is so kind. Truth is, every cat has a paragraph of stats over its head. Sure, you can turn them off, but that would be pretty crappy customer service. So although my camera politely ignored the eyesore, in world, my cat stall looks like this:


So as you can see, my cats finally started giving birth. And I guess some of the kittens are considered pretty desirable. I'm not sure. I joined the Wildwood Breedables group, but those people have a nonstop stream of cat chatter going on throughout the day. Don't get me wrong: if that's your thing, that's wonderful. But as for me, I don't have much to say about my cats (beyond writing a long droning blog post about them). So when I do pipe up and ask an occasional question, it always seems to kill the chat for a minute, probably while 300 people think, "Shut up, you idiot lurker."

So I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. For instance, my cat Diana Ross just gave birth to this cat called an Eclipse:

So impressive, he even has a sign!

He's a cream tabby with glowing golden eyes and a fluffy tail. I guess this breed is called Eclipse because the cream color is . . . covered with darkness? Don't stare directly at it! You'll burn your eyes!

That picture sucks. Here's are his parents (I think. I lose track of who's zooming whom):

Diana Ross is on the left. You can tell she's an Eclipse because SL is taking her glowing Cobalt eyes and smearing them across my photo. The father Flauta is another kind of exciting type in the cat world, maybe? He's called a Van, with Sleek shading (how cool is that?) and a Fluffy tail, which is more desirable than a common tail. I just fell asleep for a second. Let's pause for an unrelated question:

Does anyone know what happened to the following people: Banana Vella, Ding Fotherington and Beanie Canning? I miss their blogs.

Anyway, yeah — that's a birthing picture up there. The kittens are born in baskets. That must hurt like a mo-fo. As soon as Diana Ross finished squeezing out that wicker, I took her Eclipse kitten and put him up for sale in Emerald's Cathouse. I have no idea what to charge. I'm scared to ask the Wildwood Breedables group. I walked around and looked at other Eclipses and they're 3K - 4K lindens. My God, that seems insane to me. So mine is 1200L. Hell, if you're savvy, you could probably buy him and flip him like a pancake.

I also have some starter cats for sale for 50L. They're not that exciting, but they could have exciting kittens one day. I'm willing to negotiate too. I'll go as low as 5L.

I bought a cat called a Holiday Elegant (with a Shimmer coat) that's supposed to look like a gingerbread man but instead looks like a creepy John Wayne Gacyesque serial killer cat:


I named her Beyonce. She just gave birth to that Modern Seal Tuxedo female with Shimmer shading and a Bobbed tail. I think those are good things. I have no idea what that kitten's price should be though. Maybe I should try an auction house or something.

Oh my gawd, I'm dying of boredom. Dying. Of. Boredom. This blog post is unbearable. Frankly, it's not even a real post — it's really a cry for help. If you're a nice person and you know about this stuff, could you please help me? HELP ME, PLEASE, I'M BEGGING YOU TO HELP ME!

OK. The End.

Emerald's Cathouse! 

Posted Jan. 21, 2011

Saturday, January 15, 2011

Everyone's having sex but me

Hey, look at my fishtank!!!

If you've been reading this blog since the very early days . . . well, damn, I'll I can say is I'm sorry.

Ha ha ha! But seriously. If you've been reading this blog since the very early days (thank you), you've survived my longstanding fascination with SL aquariums. It started with a big boxy one I got at a yardsale and evolved into a lower prim one I could slap on a wall, and I think there were other fish tanks here and there, but THIS ONE KICKS SO MUCH ASS I HAVE TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS LIKE THIS WITH AN EXCLAMATION POINT AT THE END!

It's included in the Cy Haven skybox (compact version, 176 prims, 20x20x18m) from Xen Style. I wish I could claim the honor of discovering it, but I saw it over on Exploring SL with Dido and screamed, "GIMME THAT!"

Go over there and look at Dido's pictures, because mine are surprisingly bad.

And yeah, I know it's a skybox, but whatever:

Now it's a kind-of-ugly-on-the-outside, very-cool-on-the-inside house. Don't be enticed by the swirly winter tree design. I covered the giant Xen Style logo with a couple of flat black prims and then covered those with a $1L First Christmas Tree etched glass prim from Q's Garden of Glass on Marketplace. I am nothing if not resourceful. And see! I knew my ability to make a prim would come in handy one day! I can build! I can build!

Besides the aquatic wall, this multilevel, texture-baked, massively detailed skybox is furnished with a dining counter, couches, shelving, central-control computer terminal, other sci-fi looking stuff . . . and a holographic boyfriend (or girlfriend, depending on your preference. Or you could have a holographic solar system. Or you can choose absolutely nothing. But why do that?).

Dance, bitch, dance!

Ambient sounds, visual effects and menu-driven material variants (that means the furniture is texture-change) complete your living experience. (Can you tell I had a brief stint writing for a real estate magazine in RL?)

The best news? Everything is LINKED! Thank God!!! I love you, (creator) Xenius Revere! (Oh wow, looks like he's pretty hot in RL, actually. Maybe I really do love him.)

Oh yeah, and it's a mere 4000L.

*passes out* I can't even read that sentence without feeling woozy. Let's pretend it only cost me 500L. I'm officially living on a budget from now on, kids, at least until March.

There's a larger version for 5000L (254 prims, 20x30x18m) and now I kind of wish I would have bought that one. It's roomier. Oh well.

The fantastic news for all you aquarium fanatics is that Xen Style sells the beyond-awesome fish tank separately for 500L.

We don't have to rip our house down to have a good time. Oh no!

It's only 16 prims (!!!) with texture-baked light, particle-effect bubbles, low-lag animated fish and "relaxing ambient sound." (Yeah, I took all that info straight from the vendor.)

In other news, break out the champagne because . . . drumroll . . .


*looks around sheepishly* Yeah, I bought a few more cats. And now all the females are knocked-up.

Remember when we all had chickens? I wonder if this is going to be like the chicken thing, when my chickens kept procreating to the point where every new egg forced me to delete more furniture, until finally my parcel was just a lone chair surrounded by a bunch of chickens. And then one day, I poured myself a stiff vodka and soda (with two limes), tossed it back, shed a few tears and slaughtered what seemed like about 80 chickens. It was tragic. I vowed never to love another horny, pixelated animal again. And now this. Sigh.

Let's end this post with a plea:

I'm not kidding you when I say that I've been trying to win this Neon Frog zebra every time it's been in this board since 2010. (Look how dejected and defeated my AV looks.) It's my own elusive great white whale (wail). The board is only at 26/140 now, but the day is still young! If you have a minute, please go slap it!! Slap it HERE.

Xen Style
Q's Garden of Glass 1L special on Marketplace
Wildwood Breedables
Skin: Lionheart skin in Bloodgeisha (Fable tone) by The Plastik
Dress: Tomoko dress in red by FallnAngel Creations
Hair: Jolie (my new favorite) in Chocolate by Truth

Posted Jan. 15, 2011

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Well, hell

Soooooo . . .

I look like I just fell off the tranny train in these new Stiletto Moody skins.

I've been seeing other not-so-flattering pictures of this True Beauty skin collection recently, but I was hoping it would be different for me. I was hoping I'd put it on and look fabulous. Alas, not the case. Or who knows? I did see a few makeups that didn't look like a drag queen's wet dream, but the demo folder only has this one color in it. And even if I *could* try on all the makeups, I'm still not sure if I'd be able to really see them through all the GRAFFITI on my FACE.

I'm kind of waiting for Stiletto Moody to jump out and scream, "APRIL FOOL!!!!"

(Or is it "Fools"? Or "Fool's"? Shoot.)

In other "Damn, This Skin Looks Like Crap on Me" news, I saw the Dimbula Rose lucky board skins over on the Lucky Kitty Crew blog and I've been stalking all five of them ever since. I finally won the Dark Fold skin I really wanted, and . . .


Let's just slap some rabbit ears on me and call it a day.

Hey, look at my shirt in that pic. Or try to look at it. Lately I've been having this problem where only one part of my body stays rezzed at a time. If I were to hit "Rebake" in that scenario up there, the shirt would sharpen and my face would blur out. It is, hands down, one of the most irritating things to happen to me in SL. And yes, I've cleared my cache. I'm worried that one day I'm going to get confused and suggest that as a real-life solution to something. "I woke up this morning and my face was completely broken-out." "That sucks — did you try clearing your cache?"

As long as we're on a skin roll:

The Plastik has this killer LionHeart skin as its Serial Killer Hunt prize, pardon the pun. The prize includes the matching ears and a few pairs of eyes, including the ones in this pic. Yes, please! (There's a guy's skin in there too.)

I don't really have much going on these days. I bought this Dancing Christopher Walken (100L) at a store called Cheese on the Cioccolata sim. I rezzed him in my yard to check him out and now I can't catch the slippery bastard. It is hilarious and horrifying at the same time.

That is messed up.

I also got some breedable cats. I didn't even know they were making breedable cats. I'm hopelessly out of the whole breedables loop now without The Chicken Diaries blog. I'm still waiting for breedable people, though. Little breedable people that we can keep in cages and force to copulate. It would be like virtual porn within virtual porn.

This is Ramone. The female is named Cruella. Unlike Ramone, who curls up and sleeps like a cute little cartoon cat, Cruella walks around while she's asleep.

File under "Yet Another Thing in My Yard that Scares the Bejeezus out of Me."

Soon they'll start procreating. Holler if you want a kitten.

Stiletto Moody
Dimbula Rose lucky boards: HERE and HERE
The Plastik
Dancing Christopher Walken at Cheese
Wildwood Breedables store and Website
Hair: Jolie in Pearl by Truth
Outfit: Silvery Whisp by Curious Kitties
Wings: The New Daylight in Silver by MeKa
Jewelry: Snowstars set by Tekeli-li
Boots: Bax Prestige Boots in Silver by Bax Coen Design 

Sunday, January 2, 2011

The island of misfit pictures

Every day I get hundreds of notecards that say, "Emerald, we simply cannot live without your photography. You need a lot more pictures in your blog posts. Give us more, more, more!"

OK. Sadly, here are a few pictures that had nowhere to live in 2010. Let's give them a big hug and make them feel better.

Hell yeah, Barbie is a slut and I'm too sexy for you, zombie boy. (Skin: Sophie demo at Mynerva; T-shirt from Beauty Killer.)

Am I the only one who prudishly checks under my skirt before I fly?

You can leave your shoes on. (I heart butt-naked men standing in the middle of women's stores.)

I don't know these ladies, but I spent about three hours staring at a lucky board with them. We look like a band of perfectly groomed superheroes. Or a very lovely street gang in Narnia. And yes . . .

The lucky board platform at Caverna Obscura is one of the best places to people-watch on the grid. Do not even try showing up in jeans and a T-shirt or someone will beat you senseless with a wing and a magic wand.

And the award for Most Awesome Abuse of a Van Gogh Painting goes to . . . [name omitted because I'm nice and I kind of like this store].

I think I'm gonna pass on this one.

I'm the one in the air, trying to get away from that tattooed chick who was oh-so-adept at chasing my AV around this push-enabled store and shoving me into walls. When this kind of thing happens, I turn on my camera's sound and start taking tons of bad pictures. Click click click click click.

[2010/12/15 21:32] Cacey McAndrews: i don't understand why you wanted to take my picture!
[2010/12/15 21:33] Emerald Wynn: I took several pics of you pushing me around the store
[2010/12/15 21:33] Emerald Wynn: to go with the AR I'm filing against you
[2010/12/15 21:33] Cacey McAndrews: i was just trying to say hi to :(
[2010/12/15 21:33] Emerald Wynn: sure you were

I sounded like Clint Eastwood in that last sentence.

Her butt crack was showing, too. If you're gonna try to grief me, at least dress appropriately, particularly because you might become blog material.

Meadow Breeze 2.0 gown by Caverna Obscura. It was my original pick for the 52 Weeks of Color: Blue post before I decided to pimp myself out instead. Speaking of, I'm hopelessly behind in that challenge. Somebody get me an outfit with cerise, yellow, green and silver, please. P.S. A complete stranger gave me that hair garland. She said something like, "That dress is really pretty — this will match it." I'm such a sap, I got a little teary when it happened. People ARE inherently good! They are, they are!

Dear VoguE, I had to delete two trees and a chair before I could rez and unpack your 18-prim bag. I forgive you though. Love, Em.

I'm a big damn fan of A Touch of Ireland. A big damn fan, I tell you, primarily because they saturate my monitor with so much joyous color. (Hey, this dress is green. Check one color off my list of late color challenge posts.) The Christmas Goat is feeling it too.

. . . actually, the more I look at this picture, the more I want this pink slasher latex catsuit. Don't tell anyone. (The hood is a tattoo layer!)

Someday I'll look back on this picture and think, "Maybe I should've toned down the whole Christmas Spirit thing a little." (Holly Faerie Outfit - Nice by Caverna Obscura.) (Magical Christmas Killer Whale is magical.)

I love the store Meb as much as the next person, but if any of you ever see me wearing these "Touch Me" jeans, I do want you to touch me — in the face. As in, slap it. Hard.

This post was hard for me to write. My parents got me two kittens for Christmas. Confidentially among us friends, I wasn't ready for two new cats yet. In fact, I was looking forward to NOT being a cat lady for a while. IN FACT, I was fantasizing about getting a dog — one that I could jog with and walk in dog parks and use as a lure to meet robust, good-looking men with dogs. And then our dogs could fall in love and we could fall in love and everything would be like a Meg Ryan movie. Sigh.

But now I have a mostly white kitten named Clover and a completely black one named Felix. And both of them wanted to WALK ALL OVER THIS KEYBOARD while I was typing this post. At one point I almost said, "To hell with it," and let them.

This post was almost titled, "What the cats wrote."


Beauty Killer
Caverna Obscura (keep TPing up the tree to get to the members-only lucky boards)
A Touch of Ireland