Emerald's Eyes

To hell with a headline

2012-01-26T15:40:00.000-08:00

Let's knock out some more blog posts and get some of these pictures off my desktop.

Ready? Go!

(My AV looks like we need to throw a bucket of cold water on her to wake her up. Or maybe I'm just projecting my own sluggishness on her. It's gray and rainy outside in Tennessee today.)

• The wannabe stylist in me yelled, "HOOHAA!" when I saw this &Vintage (ampersexy inspired) bodysuit and dress by Penned (100L, includes sheer and modest versions) at The Gallery Gift Shop. It's such a perfect blank fashion canvas for gussing — yes, gussing! — up with accessories. I like the whole dusky rose vibe when I'm working with an antique neutral. Original!

• Those lace stockings from *QP* are 30L and include prim garters. Garters in SL don't work out so well for me. Usually when I put them on, it looks like I'm trying to tie ribbons around a couple of sausages. That's why you're just going to have to imagine them here. Sorry.

• The Bow Back Shoes (special Stumblebum Brigade color, 199L) are from Tokidoki and live in my 2010 Shoes inventory folder. Yes! I still love them! Way to stand the test of time, Tokidoki! Hey everybody, there's still a wide selection of these shoes in store. I checked. Because I love you!

• The Chained Bag 2 purse is from the pesca gatcha (30L per play) at The Seasons Gatcha - Winter event (ends Jan. 28).

Let's pause for a sec and check out this dude who was *cough* selling his wares at The Seasons Gatcha when I went there:

(OOOOOOOH! Here's 15L! Kiss me! Kiss me with your hot, steamy cigarette breath, baby!)

Sorry, man. Not my type. In fact, is he anyone's type? My inner pimp wanted to help him, like, pull up his pants, yank off that towel around his neck and smack his ass with it, and then clean him up and make him look like Prad Prathivi. (Whoops, what happened to Prad's blog?? *sad face*) Then maybe women would drop their lindens and pants for him.

Moving on:

(I wanted this pic to be so much bigger.)

For me, the true measure of how enjoyable a hunt is can be summed up by the amount of lindens I spend at all the stores along the way. For instance, I really, really, really loved The Cafe Hunt (ends Jan. 31). I thought the prizes were whimsical and quality and I loved most of the stores that were participating. I did almost as much shopping as I did hunting, and because most of the stores were Japanese, everything was extremely affordable. (I wanted to put even more commas in that sentence.)

• I thought this "Fur Pettitte" (hey, I print it like they spell it) from a gatcha machine at 1mm (the first Cafe Hunt stop) was a steal for 20L, particularly since all the fur collars in that machine were ones I'd want to wear. Win win!

• The Marie (Type A) hair in Platinum is from a group gift fatpack from D!va. The group is free to join, and as of last night the gift was still available in store. I checked. Because I love you!

For all you bloggers out there, D!va recently sent out a subscribo notice inviting bloggers to apply for the review copy group. I did because I genuinely like the hair. They wanted to know how many visitors my blog gets a day. Apparently the answers "I'm not sure" and "possibly 295,000,000" did not go over so well with the decision-makers over there because I guess I didn't make the cut. Oh well. If you're a blogger and you're interested in joining the review group, go slap the subscribo and look for the notecard titled "About the recruitment of the official blogger of D!va" or contact Marisa Kira for details, although she notes that she is swamped with requests and can't answer everyone unless she deems you worthy of the blogger list. But I can also pass you the application form if you contact me inworld. You'll probably have better luck than I did.

• That FrostHeart skin in Peach (w/Bust!) is from a trippy store called [ P I X E L S] — another Cafe Hunt stop — and usually if you put a lot of symbols and spaces in your store name, chances are good that I'm going to be too lazy to type it that way. Fortunately I just took my Vitamin B-12, so there it is in all its high-maintenance-name glory.

Anyway, I'm prone to the drawn or painted-on skin look, and I'm also one of those people who likes to change skins almost as often as my RL underwear. So when I saw this skin — all ALONE on one floor of the store — for a mere 200L (the marked 400L price is wrong) I grabbed it. I like it. It's different. Someone recently left a blog comment (which I didn't publish) that said my AV has a weird face that probably makes most skins look bad. Why thank you! Just in case that person is still reading, here's the vendor pic of the skin on the typical downturned tiny-mouthed/weak-chinned AV face that seems to be OH SO POPULAR here (although this one does have a little bit more character than most):

For the record, I thought the Cookie shade looked a little jaundiced. Sorry.

Let's wrap up this post with two random pictures.

1. When I turn on "basic shaders," "atmospheric shaders" and/or "lighting and shadows" in my graphics preferences, my screen looks like this:

Rockin' it "Poltergeist"-style, y'all!

Static is the new black!

Acid-Trip Couture!

[Insert more lame attempts at bad-graphics humor here.]

I have no clue why it does this. I have a fairly new MacBook Pro, too. *kicks it*

2. Let's play the game "If I Had 140L"!

If I had 140L, I'd buy this Concentric Plug set at *QP*. Let me clarify — it's not that I don't have 140L. I am, however, living on a shoestring these days and trying really hard to refrain from impulsive buying. So even though I love this explosion of cords like hell — because it looks like almost every electrical outlet in my house — I realize it's not essential to my SL existence and AS SUCH I'm going to refrain from buying it. For now.

Yeah, I like some really random things.

Bonus points for the LMAO television set. I want that too. In motion, that dude is jumping around and singing like his pants are on fire.

I'm done.

Until next time!
Em

VISIT INWORLD
The Gallery Gift Shop (see pics and prices of the current offerings, which change each month, HERE)
*QP*
Tokidoki
The Seasons Gatcha - Winter (see pics of all the gatcha prizes HERE)
The Cafe Hunt Website, includes hints and links to all hunt stops
1mm
D!va
[ P I X E L S ] (Unfortunately, this SLURL will only drop you in the main lobby — take the in-store TP to Level 5)

Ninjas

2012-01-25T18:53:00.000-08:00

Yes. I'm bored.

Second Life. Connect with Friends. Be a Vampire. Meet Autistic Ninjas.

We now pause for a moment of blatant and slightly pathetic advertising

2012-01-16T15:49:00.000-08:00

Sorry. This post is tacky but I'm broke and stressing out about it a little.

I've sort of reached the point where, until I get out of this hell that is RL unemployment, I can buy no more lindens. It's important that I spend the meager amounts of money I make freelance writing and my tiny unemployment checks on things like, well, bills for instance and blah blah blah blah wah wah wah wah whine whine whine . . . wine. Make it red, please.

Fun times!

But ANYWAY, I got another kind-of-cool Meeroo baby yesterday. I don't know what's going on with my Meeroos all of a sudden. After almost a year of total and complete Meeroos failure, FINALLY I'm getting a few good nests. Sadly, I don't have a Meeroos market stand, so when I happen to get a halfway decent one, I put it on a bid board at Red Barn.

I know. Framed, autographed copies of this picture are available for a minimal price.

That's my little lazy female Welsh Forest. It's a fairly new coat. I walked around a few markets for research and it looks like Forests are selling for about 20K and up, depending on traits. Mine has no spectacular traits, but she is the daughter of an Aussie Great Coral, which is another cool new coat that my Meeroos popped out last week. (It looks like those are selling for about 7 to 15K right now.)

*sniff* She's up for sale at a starting bid of 15K on a bid board at Red Barn until tomorrow afternoon. There are a few Forests on boards around her for 20, 22, 25 and 28K, and I'm sure those people probably want to kick my ass right now. SORRY. I'm not trying to deliberately undercut the market — I SWEAR. I'm just desperate for rent money.

(*thump* Wake up!) If I can't sell her for 15K, I'll probably try to sell her for 10K. Wow. I feel a little bit like a loser cartoon character on a sad Charlie Brown episode right now. Wop wop wop waaaaaaah!

Check her out HERE.

Thankfully we don't need a lot of lindens in SL right now because there are some pretty cool hunts going on at the moment. I'm partial to ("partial to"!) The Cafe Hunt, The Chicken Soup Hunt and the FTLO Millennium Hunt (check out stores and prizes HERE). Thank you, generous designers, for your generous generosity! Perhaps I will join the many bloggers out there who are blogging some of the fabulous prizes, just as soon as I clean my RL bathroom and do a couple of loads of laundry and drink a beer or two and watch last night's episode of "The Real Housewives of Atlanta." Priorities!

Also, I don't know blogger Shayariel Teardrop personally, but like many people, I've been lurking around on her blog for ages. Fortunately for all of us, she's celebrating her third bloggyversary right now. DAMN that girl is BELOVED by many fabulous creators, and they've all contributed fun gifts in celebration. Join the Shay and the SL Shopping Gang group for free (CLICK), get all that stuff out of group notices, spread it all over your house, parcel or skybox and ROLL AROUND IN IT WITH GLEE!

Thank you for sharing the love, Shay!

I'll close with this breaking breedables news:

Wow.

I'm showing my age here, but now I'm stuck on the Hungry, Hungry Hippos song.

If you have the urge to own some procreating hippos, apparently you can get the starter kit HERE.

Have a lovely evening!

All sexed up and ready to run my mouth

2012-01-13T20:01:00.000-08:00

When I'm bored and/or broke in Second Life, I like to wander around and check out trippy, trippy Japanese stores.

Get this thing for free at This Store With a Japanese Name I Can't Read and scare the bejeezus out of your friends.

Leesa w/Roots hair in HotPink by Truth.

(LOL. Now let's all laugh together as I get booted from his blogger review list. Oops.)

If you ever feel like going on your own quest for happy happy Japanese fun time, I recommend the Lucky Kitty Crew and Beanie Loves Japan! blogs. (Shoot, it looks like Beanie is taking a break, but her blog still has a lot of great tips and info.)

Hey, speaking of blogs, I laughed so hard I cried — seriously — when I read this post by Blingtardette. DAMN THAT GIRL IS FUNNY.

Moving on.

So I've been away for a while. I met a guy in RL and ran away to Florida with him. Then I ran back. Good times! It's been kind of a lonnnnnng dry spell since the last time I had my hands on some hot, steamy man-flesh so I'm feeling pretty refreshed at the moment. All I need now is a JOB and then maybe I'll actually be teetering on the edge of emotional stability for a change.

But anyway, back before I got distracted by sex it was my full intention to write some kind of a Merry Christmas post and use this picture:

Merry Christmas!

How do I love thee, Donna Flora Sirena dress? Let me count the ways. (I think those kickin' wings were a hunt prize from Hoot.)

I wore that dress all over the place for a few days. I'm all for running around in Big Damn Dresses in SL, particularly since I rarely have occasion to wear them in real life. If you happen to run into me in a store and I'm wearing one, just take a few steps back and duck if I turn around and you'll be fine.

OK, everybody sit down for a minute because I have some big news.

Ready?

I SOLD A MEEROO FOR $600 USD LAST WEEK!

Actually maybe it was almost three weeks ago, but then it kind of kills the impact of a giant, bold, all-caps sentence.

Can you believe that??? My two usually-lazy-and-nonproductive Meeroos bumped nasties and popped out a Nile Goldleaf, which apparently is worth at least 150000L right now. (Maybe less now that there are more of them out there.)

Gosh, it would have been REAL NICE if I would've taken a picture of it before I sold it, huh? OOPS. Just use your imaginations: It was black with gold rings around the eyes. There were probably some other striking details, but unfortunately the whole experience is kind of a manic blur at this point.

Somebody told me to hold out for 200000L, but WHATEVER. A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, kiddies! I could not run to the SL Website fast enough to cash out that moolah. I used it to pay my Visa and my cell phone bills. Then I used my unemployment check to pay for Botox! (Kidding. I did consider it though.)

So THANK YOU, wealthy and slightly insane Meeroos enthusiast! You got me out of a couple of jams this month!

Let's end this post with two more bad pics.

1. Look at the extent to which I went to help a noob. I took this picture of my screen and drew a very professional arrow (the red one) and uploaded it for him and EVERYTHING:

Hey everybody, that's where your Search button is on the SL viewer! (Laughter.) And if you don't like it there, you can move it or get rid of it. Anyway, so I broke out the camera skills and the artistry for this guy and he grabbed the snapshot and ran off without saying "thank you." Hey Faceless Noob, I could've spent those five minutes shopping!

Frankly, I was bracing myself for "Can I borrow 500L?" so his grab-and-dash actually was a pleasant surprise.

2. And on an even sadder note, unfortunately we have another store to rape and pillage during the next few days. Bewildebeest is closing Jan. 16, and everything in the store has been marked down to 10L. (Thank you to my lovely friend Heidi for the heads-up on this news.)

I feel particularly bad about it because this small-but-awesome jewelry and accessories store has been on my "to blog" list for many months. I'm ashamed that I never got to it, particularly because I am awed by the talent of creator Coyote Momiji.

I got this ring there. I'm always searching for the Virgin Mary -- um, or skeletons that dress like her -- in Second Life.

Our Lady of the Lost Lindens

(La Señora de Las Flores Muertas ring, 10L.)

I feel sad and guilty and ashamed when I grab great deals at closing stores. Like a vulture. A greedy, blood-thirsty vulture. I don't know why bewildebeest is closing, but I do wish someone would make a list somewhere called Stores That Are About to Close Because They're Sinking Like the Titanic so we could swing by the ones we like and shower them with some linden love and possibly save them for a while. Especially the smaller stores of undiscovered talented creators. I know that's a pipe dream, but I am an idealistic plumber in search of, um . . . drains full of clogged hopes? *winces* OK, so much for my attempt at a profound metaphor. Hahaha! Sorry.

I'll stop babbling now. Happy New Year!

VISIT INWORLD
Trippy Japanese Store with Free Creepy Head
Collabor88 (Second pic: Minna blouse, Heron skirt by Sea Hole, 88L each)
Truth
Donna Flora (Sirena dress in Snow, 500L)
bewildebeest

A note about the last picture: After I snapped that pic, I realized the ring needed to be repositioned on my finger a little. Oops. But I needed to get this blog post out of my life, so I used that little marker tool thing on Photobucket to fill in the one little part that was sinking into my skin. Sorry 'bout that. Didn't want you to think it was a flaw in the ring.

The warm glow of Christmas carnage

2011-12-05T03:07:00.000-08:00

It's that time of year aga . . . you know, I'm not gonna use that opener in this post. It's been done to death. Actually, so has the phrase "done to death." Sheeeeezus, my writing abilities apparently have gone (sledding) downhill.

How about, "I get SO DAMN GIDDY when everything in SL gets as barren and icy as my soul!" That means it's time to break out my loved-to-death Ice Castle (124 prims, 300L) by Beloved Custom Designs. I wept when BCD closed up shop in SL, but fortunately creator Aisuru Rieko still has a store on Marketplace. (Click HERE, baby.)

Yes, reindeer have invaded my yard this year. So many cute reindeer, so little prim allowance. Sigh.

The reindeer are nifty, but I think my favorite Christmas decor this year is this Wrecked Sleigh (22 prims, 399L) by FallnAngel Creations. OH SNAP, SANTA!

WOOOO, that is twisted . . . HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The "I Believe!" sign is not included (it's part of an Awesome Blossom subscribo gift — go get it!), but DAMN, it makes me laugh so hard when it's next to that sleigh. I guess I need one that says, "I Believed!" instead. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Sorry.)

But WOW, poor Santa's sleigh burst into (animated!) flames and everything. Now THAT is what I call holiday splendor! Come on over and toast some marshmallows as we bask in the warm glow of the Christmas carnage!

Pretty sure if Santa survived, he's put me on his Naughty list now. Maybe he has a list for people who are worse than naughty — like a Demon Spawn list. Oops.

I went to Falln last night because it's one of many generous SL stores with Advent calendars this month. In Falln's case, it's an Advent tree (click the box with the corresponding date and you'll get a gift), and unfortunately if you miss a day, you're out of luck — once the date has passed, the gift is gone. I missed Dec. 1. *feels sorry for myself*

So speaking of FallnAngel, winter in SL is not only my favorite time to fill my yard with "WTF has Emerald Wynn done with her yard now?" goodness, but it's also my favorite excuse to wear fantastical winter outfits. Cases in point, these retro posts "Cool Like That" (2010), "Hey I Like Your Lesbian Washing Machine" (2010), "Mine Eyes Have Seen the Kitschy Glory" (2009) and "Put Some Pants On!" (2009). (Wow, those were the days when these posts were slightly more energetic and humorous.) Anyway, since I don't have a Big Damn Wintery Dress yet this year, I picked up this Owl Gown (599L) while I was at Falln.

("What? You talkin' to me?") The picture doesn't really do it justice (shocking). It's got a cool high collar in back made of bones. Yeah, it's a little pricey for my usual budget, but what with all the sales and markets and 'fests and expos and other consumer temptations this month (not to mention rent and animal food), I exclaimed, "TO HELL WITH IT" and gave myself $75 worth of lindens. *cringe*

Whatever. I have my whole life to pay off that Visa card.

(I'm sure those lindens'll be gone in two days, if that.)

I'm wearing Donna Flora's Porzia Sapphire ring (200L), and I'll admit I didn't realize it was that huge when I bought it. It's cool though. And that'll definitely be the hand I use if I have to punch someone in the face.

Behold the annual Big Damn Picture of My Face! Here's a close-up of the ring. And I've been wanting to show some of the cool makeups at Adam n Eve in this blog for a while. This eye makeup is called Bedazzled (100L) and it makes me look like I'm either going to throw a bunch of glitter all over you or punch you in the face with a giant square ring. I like it!

(Also shown: Skin: Alba 3.0 in Peach 01 by Mojo; Eyes: Herbalist Eyes in Borago by Vision - Eyes by A:S:S; Hair: Hoodoo by ploom (previous Project Themeory item). Yes, those are the bones of crash-victim elves tied with strips of snow leopard fur in my hair.)

So, this horse happened:

WOW. If you're not familiar with Amaretto horses, let me clarify for you: This horse is ALL jacked-up. I deliberately cranked up the exposure in this pic in attempt to better illustrate its freakishness, but you kind of have to see the real thing to really grasp the monstrosity of it. I birthed it two days ago and figured it would have worked itself out by now, but apparently not. I guess I could submit it to Amaretto with a support ticket, but I kind of have this morbid curiosity to see what it'll look like when it's full-grown. Maybe I'll charge admission for people to come gape at it, like they do with the two-headed sheep here at the county fair (yeehaw!).

I know I swore off Amaretto breedables, but I buckled when they released some limited-edition Halloween and Breast Cancer Awareness horses. I bought them, and then they started having babies with exciting names like Solid Midnight Tan Fell Pony with Haze Coat or Red Spotted Rocky Mountain with Blush Hair. These are new traits and breeds since I left the scene. So now I birth them to see what they look like and then slaughter them. Gee, that sounds inhumane. Sorry.

I'll end with a random picture, for all those people who are reading this post and yelling, "THERE AREN'T ENOUGH PICTURES HERE TO QUENCH MY THIRST FOR YOUR PHOTOGRAPHIC TALENTS!"

I'm usually not fond of child AVs, but I have to give this one props for looking pretty cool. And no, I didn't ask if I could shoot this pic. It was stealth-cammed. *looks ashamed*

So cute! I appreciate the effort this adult-pretending-to-be-a-child put into this AV's look. Seriously.

Signing off now. Have a joyous Monday (if that's possible)!

THE SLURLS AND SITES YOU NEED
Beloved Custom Designs on Marketplace
FallnAngels Creations Advent Tree
Falln Owl Gown
Falln Christmas Area (yes, the place is so huge, each thing needs its own SLURL)
Awesome Blossom (Christmas Signs Subscribo gifts still available)
Adam n Eve
Donna Flora
ploom
Mojo
Vision - Eyes by A:S:S

"urgh" (she said, with love)

2011-11-24T21:47:00.000-08:00

I cannot get my inventory to load past 5,143.

I wish I knew what that mysterious, pain-in-the-ass 5,144th item is.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you who celebrate it!

I'm thankful for the fact that if I need help or a kind word or a shoulder to cry on or simply a friend, that technology has made this lifeline possible, through Second Life, Facebook, Skype and a gazillion other platforms. We have pretty much abolished loneliness through our technological advancements. We are awesome like that. Throw up all kinds of barriers and we mere mortals will always find a way to help each other over them.

To hell with any drama that may be sucking you into its vortex right now, because beyond that, there is always love. Don't ever let anyone convince you that humans are inherently evil or, at the very least, apathetic. Not even close. At our core we are caring, we are brave, we are strong, we are unified and we are fearless in the face of loneliness. Give us your blackest blackness and we will inevitably find a way to kick it to the curb. Together. I think Second Life is proof of that solidarity.

Even though some of us can say, "I can't stand [this person] [this blogger] [this creator] [this fashionista] [this former friend] [this neighbor] [this resident] [this subculture] [this Linden][this AV]" and even though some of us have made a list, in semi-permanent marker, of our enemies and frenemies, I can still guarantee you that if we really did have some kind of horrific zombie apocalypse we would all suddenly look at each other and say, "Wait, remind me, what were we pissed off about again? Why was I mad at you?" and then shrug and start bashing zombie brains together. Yes we would! All this time we've been thinking zombies are trendy, but maybe they're really here to bring world peace. THINK ABOUT IT!

Anyway.

There's so much smack-talk about the damage Second Life can do to relationships, but I wonder how many lives it has saved. You don't hear so much about that angle. I'll be testament to it though. In my darkest moments I've reached out here and someone has always grabbed my hand.

So thank you, friends. On this Thanksgiving Day, I'm grateful for all of you. I'm thankful for everyone who has reached out and grabbed my hand. I'm thankful for everyone on my Friends list and for those who someday will be. I'm thankful for all the people who read this blog. Whether you hate it or love it, the fact that you read it is a tiny acknowledgement of my existence, and God how I occasionally need that acknowledgement.

I'm thankful that one day several years ago, somebody said, "Hey, let's make a virtual world" and tens of thousands of people replied, "Yes, let's!" And thanks to that chorus of enthusiasm, my broke, middle-American, middle-aged self can now experience art and exotic lands and fashion and music and ideas and extraordinary visions and friendships the likes of which I'd never be able to experience in real life.

And because of all that, I get to write sentences with phrases like "the likes of which" in them.

If I were drinking Budweiser, I'd end this post with "I love you, man," but I'm drinking merlot that was purchased with an unemployment check, so I guess I'll end with this sentiment instead:

Whether you're friend or foe, tonight I'm thankful for you. And whether you're friend or foe, I've got your back if the zombies get out of control.

Love and mountains of blessings to you,
Em

"I don't like your blog."

2011-11-10T19:40:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since I've expressed an opinion. I've sort of lost my words and my personality and my sense of humor these days, but I'll give it a shot.

There's been some recent heated discussion over on The Rumor regarding bloggers who sometimes say not-so-flattering things about creators' works.

I have mixed feelings about this topic and there's no point in me rehashing things that have already been said. (You can read my two cents over there in Comments if you have absolutely nothing better to do with your life.) I often read The Rumor. I laugh at some of the commentary and I wince at some of it and I take it for what it is — one person's opinion, not the Holy Second Life Bible of Sh*t You Need to Buy. Ultimately I appreciate the work over there — the previews of sale and hunt items are a godsend in these days of crashing with every third TP.

I can certainly understand feelings of hurt and anger if any blogger flat-out says something insulting like, "MY GOD THIS IS UGLY PASS ME THE EYE BLEACH THIS CREATOR SUCKS WANG." My problem is when creators get rabid over a balanced review that just happens to include some negative feedback, or even something that's not necessarily inflammatory, like "This outfit isn't for me" or "I'm not a fan of this look because [insert reason]." Hell, once I wrote a post where I happened to lament, "Damn, [this store] is having a sale today and I just dropped a thousand lindens there last week," and the owner basically started a Plurk war over it and transformed me into an ungrateful commoner who didn't appreciate sales. It was fun.

Anyway, the debate is kind of old news by now, but I started thinking about the flip side of it this week when I started seeing allllll the posts all over the feeds about tomorrow's Vintage Fair.

Unfortunately, I'm not one of those people who usually comes to mind when someone's having an event and making a list of bloggers to put on the early access/review copy/etc. list. There's no bitterness in that statement. I don't do a lot of self-promotion and my blogging frequency has really dropped off and my photos sometimes leave something to be desired and I'm not your typical fashion blogger (although I do always try to credit everything in my posts and, better yet, include prices when I can so readers don't show up at a store and keel over from sticker shock). And I write really long rambling sentences like that one right there.

If I happen to catch the buzz on an event that sounds like something I'd like to blog and I can find a blogger application for it, I'll sometimes apply. And speaking of the Vintage Fair, in the past I've occasionally requested to be on the bloggers lists for Chic Management events and have been accepted, so even if this post was meant to be a beef-slinger, it wouldn't be pointed in that direction.

But in light of the discussion over at The Rumor and the frequency of "Hey everybody! I'm a [insert event name here!] Blogger" posts, the thing that amuses me a little is this:

There have been times when I've admired a creator or heard of an upcoming event that sounded kind of cool and have put in a request to be a blogger in that capacity. And there have been times when the creator or event manager has responded, "Sorry. I'm not a fan of your blog" or the very popular "Sorry, we don't think your blog is a good fit for us" or even "I really don't care if my work is featured in your blog," or even a slightly tamer version of "Please take your ellipses and your ALL CAPS and shove them up your ass."

My response to that kind of feedback is usually an internal "ouch" (actually, make it an all-caps internal "OUCH") and maybe even, depending on the time of the month, a couple of tears, and then I get on with my SLife and try to accept the fact that this blog isn't for everyone. I don't write ranting posts or broadcast the creator's name. Hell, I usually don't even boycott the event or creator. It hurts, but when you put yourself out there publicly, you have to accept the fact that not everyone's going to be a fan, and sometimes they're going to bluntly say so. I will admit that at this point I'm starkly terrified to ask someone if I can blog their stuff/event, but that's about the only lasting consequence of the "I don't like your blog" dialogue.

So I guess that's the one thing I'd like to say to creators who get publicly outraged and start a flame war against bloggers who are outspoken enough to express a negative opinion. It goes both ways. Some of us get it from your side too. It just comes with the territory of creative self-expression, I guess.

. . . Hey, look at my mouse sleigh up there!

The Sleigh Hunt (runs through 11/30) is a small hunt sponsored by Carriage Trade and featuring equestrian-themed prizes. I saw this prize from United InshCon on another blog and had to have it. I'll take mouse droppings on my roof over reindeer patties any day. The link to the Web site, including participants, SLURLs and some pictures of the prizes, is below.

HERE'S MY LIST OF LINKS, YO
The Rumor
Chic Management
The Sleigh Hunt

I have substance, I swear

2011-11-06T18:29:00.000-08:00

My yard is sexy looking.

I like to tell people that if you're feeling depressed about your photography skills, just come on over to this blog, and if you're feeling depressed about your terraforming skills, just come on over to my yard.

You'll feel much better.

My God, and when you put them BOTH in one picture, it's sort of like the universe implodes while your eyeballs fry!

Hey, have you ever done a search for "facelight" in your inventory? I haven't worn a facelight in years, but I thought maybe if I slapped one on in this photo, it would add some dimension to the lighting or something. (Fail.) Holy cow. I think I have about 3,000 facelights. I contemplated deleting all of them, but damn, that would take hours. My inventory is at 165K and counting right now. So I guess if you're feeling depressed about your inventory, you can come on over to my place and laugh at my 3,000 facelights and probably feel much better about that too.

Anyway, all day long, people have been saying to me, "Awww, you're just a white, glowy blob today!" That's mystifying because I'm not even wearing mesh. I hate it when I take the time to carefully dress my AV in a spiffy fall outfit, only to have people say, "I can't seeeeeeee youuuuuuu!"

Um, so here's some proof that I did in fact get dressed this weekend. Frankly, I wrote this post just to get rid of that gawd-awful Halloween picture at the top of the page. It was fun, but it becomes an eyesore if you look at it for longer than two minutes. Soon I'll write another post to bump down this newest gawd-awful picture. It's like the circle of bad-picture life over here.

Yay, we finally get to break out some crispy fall colors. Speaking of crispy, grrrrr, my photos look pixelly as hell. And when I turn on shadows, those glasses disappear. Trippy.

I'm loving this skin that's the Very Important Hunters Hunt (ends 11/30) prize at The Plastik. It includes several makeup options, a ton of tattoo layers and a couple of pairs of eyes. You're looking for a bow. Or a bow tie. Whatever it is, it's very important. Hints and SLURLs of participating creators are HERE.

Thank you, Aikea Rieko! That's lovely!

So, does anyone else get excited about "Dexter" on Sunday nights? I used to be pretty fanatical about that show, but this season seems to be dragging for me for some reason. I got really, really gleeful when I saw this Dexter AV at Death Row Designs though:

(Includes killshirt!) OH MY GOD, YEAH! Now I need to find a guy who'll put this thing on and SLex with me. (Complete Dexter AV, 700L)

I bought the laminated badges for 20L. It's not the same as the complete package (pardon the pun, *WINK*) but I can still wear it and pretend I'm Dexter's girlfriend:

(Um, Debra Morgan? Hell no. She's soooo damn annoying.) Hey, yesterday was the sixth anniversary of Dexter's first day at work!

OK. I'm done. Have a lovely week.

STYLE CREDITS AND STUFF
Hair - LeLutka - Rykiel in Marilyn
Skin - The Plastik - Aleria Nightbringer's Breath in Flush - *FREE* Very Important Hunters Hunt gift #3
Eyes - The Plastik - Senn (Vae Collection) - *FREE* Very Important Hunters Hunt gift #3
Glasses - Le Petits Details - Lady Lord Glasses - *FREE* group gift, free to join
Necklace - Kunglers - OGlam First Birthday/Crisis in the Horn of Africa fundraiser item, 200L, at OGlam Shopping
Scarf - Miel - Fringe Scarf in Leafy, 245L
Top - Rezipsa Loc - Brick Red T-shirt, 75L
Skirt - Les Petit Details - Mina Skirt in Red, 75L for Project Themeory this weekend
Boots - Les Petit Details - Lady boots in Coconut, 250L
And . . .
Dexter AV, Laminate Badges - Death Row Designs
Very Important Hunters Hunt Website (Ends 11/30)

Wearing the blues on Halloween

2011-10-31T21:58:00.000-07:00

Whenever I feel lonely and sad, sometimes I'll go to Sigma or some other jewelry store and wander around drooling over all the beautiful things that I usually can't afford. It cheers me up.

That's weird, huh? To me, there's something really calming about cool metals and icy diamonds, or big vibrant gems that stay strong and beautiful even when the world around them is going to hell. And clarity — I love the clarity and the way the light comes alive in a room full of fabulous jewelry. I think Holly Golightly was on to something.

So yeah, tonight the real world is dressing up and going to parties and haunted houses while my pathetic AV is standing around in jewelry stores. Ugh, I'm lonely. Are you listening, Universe? LONELY! I suck at making friends in real life. The people I meet are either very married and glued together at the hip or very frenzied, as in "I'm going to desperately cling to my youth by partying the hell out of every weekend, and by the way, just call me Cougar!" Either way I feel like an oddball around all of them. And I cannot take many more of these holidays alone. I just can't.

GOD I'M FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF TONIGHT! Let's just STOP and look at my Halloween outfit this year. It leans toward the cheerfully obnoxious, and you know I like it like that! Plus, I noticed no one else is blogging about Halloween costumes or orange-and-black clothes, so I figured I'd fill that Halloween-shaped hole in your life.

I was fueled by nostalgia and a craving for whimsy when I bought this Halloween Supreme dress by Fierce, a store I frequented as a noob. HELP, I SAT ON MY EX-BOYFRIEND AND HE'S STUCK IN MY ASS! The spiderweb fascinator, tights and hand wraps are included in this outfit. Skirt can be worn with or without dead boyfriend. Guess how much it costs. A WHOPPING 5L on Marketplace. Not 50. Five. Get it HERE.

Um, but Halloween is already pretty much over, so I'm bummed that I only just found out about it. (I'm totally failing in the "News You Can Use" category right now. Sorry.) Get it anyway. Get it just for the ex-boyfriend ass accessory. Attach it to your Santa suit next month. Or you can do what I did and stick the whole outfit in a folder named "Really Cool 2011 Halloween Stuff — Use in 2012!" Hahaha. Right. Next year there'll be a fresh new jam-packed folder of Halloween stuff, but hey, at least the intention is there. Recycling is good!

Now please join me in exclaiming, "OH MY GAWWWWWW — THOSE BOOTS!" I love them so much and they're free for Miamai group members. Find them outside the store with the pumpkins. I'm not sure how long they'll be there, so RUN! RUN LIKE THE WIND! They're not too Halloweeny to wear past the holiday. Yeah, they've got some spiderwebs on them, but so does my vagina these days and I still occasionally use it.

Oh oops, I failed to mention that they're mesh (the boots, not my bits). Some people, myself included, are on the fence about mesh, but I do LOVE IT in shoes. Yes! Mesh belongs on my feet! Gimme!

Speaking of latex (we weren't, but I needed a segue), you only have a few more days to pick up your limited-edition S&M Dominatrix Cats! Whip not included!

KIDDING! I love them. These are the Halloween Devil Dolls cats from KittyCatS' Haunted Collection, which also includes SkeleCats and Love at First Bite vampire cats. They're available through Nov. 3. I'm too damn exhausted to write about all of them, so go look at the pretty pictures and read about them HERE on the KittyCatS Website.

I know some of you don't do the KittyCatS thing, but if a spooky cat strikes your fancy you can always buy one and feed it Perma-Pet vitamins, which'll transform it into a pet that doesn't need food.

I'm actually feeling a little bit better now. About 30 minutes ago I was on the brink of jumping in my bathtub with an extension cord and a running blowdryer, so thanks for listening!

And now I'm off to try to finish the Zombie Popcorn Hunt, which ends in a few hours. (Ooch.) I'm all about the last-minute thrills.

HEY EMERALD, GIVE US SOME SLURLS AND STUFF!
Sigma
Fierce Halloween Supreme on Marketplace
Miamai
KittyCatS

and:

Skin - [sYs] — Puppet - Dual Skin in Pure, worn with the included Rune tattoo on forehead
Hair - Truth — Cate in Streaked Crow
Necklace — Hangman (I shrunk the hell out of it, sorry) - KOSH, Zombie Popcorn Hunt Prize #23
Eyes - Sterling Artistry — Starlight eyes in Fuchsia Nebula

all the little bourgeois dreams

2011-10-29T16:53:00.000-07:00

I wish I had one of these things in real life.

He could teach me how to samba, I could teach him how to Dougie and then we could have hot, bony sex afterward.

I've been trying to do Halloween on a budget this year, but I did splurge on this Mr. Bones You Tease pose prop (485L) from LostAngel. He's got eight smooth Casanova moves, and when you're not making sweet skeletal love to him, he makes for quite a spiffy wall hanging.

Whenever I use any pose from LostAngel it reminds me of an embarrassing noob story. Basically I spent my first year in SL just kind of running around making a complete ass of myself. I also liked to get gussied up in my blangin' high heels and snazzy full-perm duds and hang out at fashion shows. One time [in band camp] at one of these shows, I saw this smokin' hot guy and clicked on him to check out his profile.

But instead of clicking "Profile" I made that OH-SO-EMBARRASSING mistake of accidentally clicking "Add Friend" instead.

I was totally mortified when he accepted my friendship. He probably looked over at my badly modded hair and seizure-inducing shoe bling and took pity. Then I dug the hole of humiliation even deeper by saying, "OMG I'm sorry — I only meant to click Profile." ("Because I'm a total profile perv and I wanted to read all about you and possibly stalk you or at the very least fantasize about you.") But he said, "Too late! We're friends now! :)"

We never talked again after that (I'M SHY), but he never booted me from his friends list either, which was kind of awesome of him. He was Pier Tempel, and later I learned he was one of the original founders of LostAngel. And a model. And an admired photographer. God, I'm such an idiot.

I guess Pier has left SL, according to the LostAngel Industries Web site. But every time I use a LostAngel prop, I remember what a nice guy he was that day. (And his SL AV's ghost still lives on my friends list.)

Let's pause for a spanking.

"Oh Mr. Bones, you tease!"

I'm bummed Halloween is almost over. I had so many things to blog, but my well of creative juices has pretty much run dry. [Or insert some other analogy here. I'm at a loss.] But it wouldn't be Halloween if I didn't at least muster up the will to tell you to go grab some free Halloween T's at terri.tees.

This Pretty Witch tee ("I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!") is part of her prize in the Half-Baked Mini Halloween Hunt (through 10/31). It's hidden in a candy corn. (Hint: Look up, especially if you're feeling cornered.) She also has walls of free Halloween T's back in the Freebie Corner. This year she used images from a vintage monster version of the Old Maid card game. Awesome.

Also wearing: You're a Witchy Star hair/hat (275L for a pack of five colors) by Clawtooth by Clawtooth. The hat is color-change.

I have to go try to finish the Zombie Popcorn Hunt now.

VISIT INWORLD
LostAngel
terri.tees
Clawtooth by Clawtooth

and then she pretty much only blogged about clothes and the whole blog went to hell

2011-10-15T11:41:00.000-07:00

Back off or my AV will smack you with her AV man-hand and if that doesn't work, she'll smack you with one of her many, many skeleton hands.

My AV's hands are sized normally, I swear, but for some reason they look really, really drag queen to me these days.

*shrug*

Oh well.

Halloween on a budget. Ready? GO!

The Plumpkin Cottage, 104 prims, by Honey, I'm Home. It's 45L in the Royal Living Magazine Pumpkin Hunt. IT ENDS TODAY! RUN!

Bow down before my total fail attempt at mood lighting.

I love this house so much, I want to bake a cake that looks just like it and eat it.

"My Pumpkin Party Lights are brighter than your sunny disposition" and FREE in the Black Cat Hunt at enLightened, ends Oct. 31.

"Hey, I like that autumny stuff that you spread all over your yard!" Another Royal Living Magazine Pumpkin Hunt prize, 45L, at Urbanized.

"I can't decide if your fake skeleton arms are creepy or kind of cool, but regardless, I can't help but dig 'em." (Arms of Kali by Gilded, 150L, at the Kreepy Kawaii Khaos Halloween Festival.)

"I told you I would never wear a vampire skin, but I lied." (Paige skin in Bite Me by Illusory, 88L at Collabor88.)

"Hey, what else are you wearing?"
Eyes - Banana Banshee - Venus eyes in Caramel, 80L
Dress - Chantkare - Delight Dress, 300L
That Stuff that's in My Hair - Split Pea - Don't talk my heart's not in this, 100L (OK, here's the deal with Split Pea. There are ban lines around it. But who knows - maybe it's just me that's banned. Regardless, you can land HERE and cam in and buy things. I am nothing if not resourceful.)
Hair - Truth - Tess in Burgundy, 250L
Boots (That You Can Barely See) - Deco - Madison Boots in Cherry (MESH ALERT!), 300L
Watch - ISON - Vipera Watch in Onyx, 125L

And your Halloween would not be complete without this darling (purebred) Black Russian girl kitty with (purebred) Fire eyes, Illume shading and Boo Boo tail! A mere 1200L!

Buy her HERE at Em's Juicy Kittens!
(Sorry. Blatant sales pitch. I'm so so so so so so broke. I couldn't help it.)

Mosh pit

2011-10-02T11:15:00.000-07:00

Oops.

Soooooo my computer crashed and burned big time. It pretty much screamed, "ENOUGH!" and had a complete meltdown. I know exactly how you feel, little MacBook Pro. *pats it on the head*

Apparently it needed a new fan and some kind of software fix and "blah blah blah blah blah whatever," as my five-year-old niece says every five minutes. (What the hell are they teaching them in kindergarten these days?) I lost everything on my hard drive and didn't have my computer for a while. It was tragic.

When I finally got my computer back and was able to log back in, all my animals were green, or black with red Xs over their eyes, or in a coma (see above). It was kind of sickening, which is a ridiculous thing to say since none of this is real. I ended up only saving the KittyCats and packing up all my other animals into my inventory. I can't afford the Breedables scene anymore. In fact, I can't really afford SL anymore — or at least I CANNOT LIVE THE LIFE TO WHICH I AM ACCUSTOMED HERE!

(Sorry. I put that in all caps because I was worried people would think I was serious if I typed it normally.)

In any case, I'm trying to put my dysfunctional life back together in RL so I'm cutting way back on my time in world. Or at least I'm trying to. SL is like a sick drug habit that I can't shake. Getting rid of needy animals helps though.

Moving on . . .

[Issoni dress by Chantkare; new Tess hair in Burgundy by Truth; mesh Madison boots in Cherry by Deco; Maia skin in Fauntastic, Cream by Ploom.]

If you live in the States, did your local Target stores get transformed into giant mosh pits full of greedy, grabbing housewives when Missoni launched its collection there? Mine did. People ran in and just grabbed things off the racks without even looking at them. It was horrible. If that's how everyone acts over loud clothes that look like optical illusions, think of what the supermarkets will be like if we ever have a zombie apocalypse.

I can't believe I just used the word "supermarkets." I'm really 75.

The hilarious thing is that the shelves are starting to fill back up with Missoni returns now. Thank God. Tennessee is not the healthiest state. We're more interested in putting gravy on everything than putting low-end, mass-produced, designer-name brands on our bodies. I did not want to see all these fried-butter-eating, buffet-hopping people wearing the same zig-zag horizontal stripes all over town. I really didn't.

I didn't buy into the Missoni hype but I appreciate the fact that Chantkare created this Missoni-inspired Issoni dress to mark the occasion. It's only available on Marketplace and you don't have to bitch-slap your way through a frenzied crowd to get it. Better yet, it's only 50L. It is, however, only available in limited quantities, so if you want it, get it while it lasts HERE CLICK THIS RIGHT HERE.

Hey, look at how hard I've been working to decorate my house:

I call this style "Nostalgic Minimalist." That Rubik's Cube-inspired floor lamp (my God, we're inspired today) will blind you with all kinds of '80s awesomeness. No really, it's bright as hell but worth the burned retinas. I got it at the bright-as-hell store enLightened for 200L.

OK I think I'm done with this post now.

Happy Sunday!

P.S. To top it all off, Blogger has changed its interface. During this difficult transition, the writer is not responsible for whack formatting.

zombeh

2011-09-13T17:12:00.000-07:00

"Emerald attempts to take a photo in Suicide City."

Every time I TP there I end up screaming like a little bitch.

It's a mother-effing zombie clown!

FYI: They can jump. And they will push you around.

So much epic fail I can hardly stand it.

I like that estetica pose a lot, but I never want to see it again. (Bollywood!)

Visit Inworld: Suicide City

This was my first time messing around with mesh (the dress and the boots). It was interesting but kind of a hassle. I screwed around with my shape for about an hour to get it to fit the dimensions of this dress and still failed. The included alpha layer was helpful, but there were still places where my shape was bulging out on the sides at first. For instance, I'm just now noticing that my arm is cutting through the sleeve when I pose. Oops. I finally shrunk all my dimensions down to zero (except my arms, apparently) and also had to add a red tank top underneath and blah and blah and blah and blah. Sheeeeeezus this paragraph is boring. Sorry.

That Nocturnal choker is ROCKIN' and it's from one of my favorite places, Bliensen + MaiTai. It'll be available at the upcoming Jewelry Fair 2011, which starts Sept. 16. (See link to the Website below.)

If you want that dress — which was a group gift from Baiastice (thank you, Sissy!) — I checked and it's still in group notices. I have no idea if you have to pay to get in that group because I've been in it since I was a little noob. It's kind of impressive that it has survived the test of time, actually. And on that note, I think we all need to post a "How to Check Group Notices" tutorial because I hear people wailing, "HELP MEEEE! I DIDN'T GET THAT NOTICE!" like the world is ending or something almost every day.

Dress: Runa_First Mesh Dress - Baiastice group gift
Boots: Madison Boots (Mesh) - Deco
Hair (except in photos 3, 5 and 7): Abigail in Pearl - Truth
Necklace: Nocturnal - coming Sept. 16 to Jewelry Fair 2011 - by Bliensen + MaiTai
Eyes: Dreamer eyes in Moonlight - Vision - Eyes by A:S:S
Skin: Layla in Grey - Glam Affair for TDR
Makeup: Sakura - Vita's Boudoir for Help Japan
Pose: Bollywood 5 - Estetica

Get out of my dreams (get into my car)

2011-09-11T13:00:00.000-07:00

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."

Amen.

This set of blackboards with various words of wisdom on them is 75L this weekend at Molto Bene. In fact, everything at Molto Bene is 75L or less this weekend. Cute houses, cute skyboxes, cute stuff — that's exciting!

And now, on a WTF note, the award for Keepin' It Classy on 9/11 goes to . . .

-- drumroll --

Natas Designs, for distributing this notecard that made me say, "Whaaaaaaa?":

"FREE BISTRO SET FOR 9/11

Enjoy this darling bistro set for 2 while you remember those who were lost in 9/11."

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . . I'm thinking no.

And it's got an American flag as a tablecloth, nonetheless! Now you can even put your dirty forks and coffee-stained cups on the stars and stripes while you contemplate one of the most horrific days in American history!

I try really hard not to get preachy here, but unfortunately the preacher in me is wailing at this one. Please don't use 9/11 as an excuse to pimp out your stuff. If you're giving out a commemorative T-shirt or something, I can live with that. But a BISTRO set?

That's so damn patriotic, I can hardly stand it.

I'm not running a picture of it. See it for yourself HERE if you so desire. I'm sure people will say that the creator had pure and good intentions behind this gift, and perhaps English isn't her native language. Points noted. And for the record, I actually really like that store. But it still gets a giant "WTF" from me today. Don't put the words "darling bistro set" in the same sentence as "those who were lost in 9/11." Just don't.

[UPDATE: Please note creator Natasha Shoteka's response to this blog post in Comments. She makes valid points and I appreciate the fact that, while sharing her perspective, she did not a) call me names, b) round up a bunch of people to call me more names and drop nasty notecards in my inventory, and c) ban me (and anyone in Comments who agrees with me) from her store. Refreshing! That really is keeping it classy. She pretty much just bitch-slapped me with a big slab of classy . . . and I liked it!]

VISIT INWORLD
Molto Bene!

Goodnight, all you moonlight ladies

2011-09-02T13:15:00.000-07:00

There's something about the promise of crisp fall weather around the corner and the thrill of a recent boob job that's making me want to get the hell away from my computer for a while.

Plus, my expendable income is dwindling, particularly since I have no income at the moment.

So I spent the morning packing away almost all my beloved breedables. I clicked "will not renew lease" on five farm parcels and sent almost all my horses to Horse Haven. It's gotten to the point where I can't even GIVE horses away anymore, and the cost of rent, food and salt licks (to keep them happy so they'll procreate) is breaking my budget every week.

I narrowed the Meeroos down to five stumps — soon to be three — and I guess I'll pick 10 KittyCatS to live out their little 120-day lifespans. At least I'm still selling a few of those kittens. I was never out to make a fortune with these things, but I at least need to make SOME money to feed them.

But the Wildwood cats - blah - I just couldn't delete them or even send them to their imaginary "cat sanctuary." The thought of doing it just broke my heart. Isn't that stupid?

I put them in folders in my inventory instead. Yes, they'll starve there and curl up into black, comatose cat circles with red X's for eyes, but at least that way I can lie to myself and say that someday I'll take out my favorite ones and revive them.

Until then, sleep tight my little friends. SL is going to be kind of lonely without you.

That's my name! Wear it out!

2011-08-30T17:45:00.000-07:00

Hey, guess what? Somebody named a house after me!

WOOT WOOT!

The Wynn Cottage is Awesome Blossom's prize in The Platinum Hunt Deux, which ends tomorrow (hopefully at the end of the day or I'm going to feel like a total ass for once again posting something you can only get at the very last minute).

Thank you, Clementine Ishtari!

It's got a bird on it! If you look at the built-in plant shelves on the outside windows you'll . . .

. . . WTF, a FRUIT FLY just drowned in my delicious glass of Chardonnay. Hey, I'M DRINKIN' IT ANYWAY, Fruit Fly! You will not ruin my relaxing cocktail hour! And quite possibly that word could become "hours" because I'm a little tense these days. I don't have a job; my grandmother recently passed away; my new boobs still look weird; I haven't had sex in, like, 8 billion years; I've got cramps that would make a grown man curl up in a corner and cry; I'm trying to kick a bad Xanax habit and consequently my hands are all shaky and I want to scream my head off and kick somebody's ass; and my SL is filled with needy, fake animals that just keep multiplying and attaching themselves to me sentimentally.
And one more semicolon for the hell of it: ;

So get out your violin and enjoy that whole trip through my digestive system, Fruit Fly. You're going down.

Sorry. Back to the house. It's 88 prims, a little weathered — like my life! — and really cute with two rooms plus mud room. Mud roooooooooom! You can get all cozy up in your own if you swing by Awesome Blossom and find the little blue box with a white ribbon around it.

Unfortunately I accidentally rezzed mine on top of some Meeroos. (The house, not the little blue box.)

Oops. Welcome to Oz, bitches.

Whatever. They're always leaving their damn crack pipes all over my parcel anyway.

See. Passed the hell out. And apparently the food is levitating. My Second Life is magic like that.

I'm glad I cranked up the terrain and sky details in my graphics preferences before I took that pic.

As long as I'm name-dropping and talking about Meeroos, that Dude Who Makes Fabuloso Hair gave me a Koi, which is pretty cool in the Cult of Meeroos. It was kind of like Elvis walking around giving Cadillacs to people on the street. Or an Oprah show. ("YOU get a Koi and YOU get a Koi and YOU get a Koi! A round of Koi for everybody!")

Thank you, Truth Hawks! (I'm all about the last names today.)

Yeah. The sleeping thing is a little annoying. I tried to wake her up but she just said "Screw you," took a hit off her crack pipe and went back to sleep. Look between her ears. See that kind of rainbow platform behind the fence? That is a WTF helicopter landing pad. And hell no, it's not mine. Where is a Homeowners Association when I need one?

Speaking of Truth (see, there was a reason for that little "look what I got!" paragraph besides just telling you that so you'll think I'm cool), a few people have stopped me and asked me where I got this hair:

It's Ricci (shown here in Bubblegum) by Truth. It does include a flower to wear in it, but not that one. So unfortunately later one girl bitch-slapped me with an all-caps message that said, "HEY MINE DIDN'T HAVE STICKS IN IT!"

Oops.

That hair ornament is called "and with bees in her breath" (75L) and it's from Split Pea. It includes another version with birds on it (birds on it!), but Coco Chanel told me to always take off one accessory before I leave the house, so the birds had to go.

But hey Truth, I guess you should make some hair with branches in it. And birds. Then you could name it Angry Birds, for all the people who got mad when they bought your hair and it didn't have sticks and birds in it. I guess I am responsible for that misunderstanding and I apologize.

Shoot, I feel like I should have included mesh somewhere in this post.

MESH

Look at that word for a long time and it starts to look really weird.

I'm going to go decorate my cottage of win now.

GET IT INWORLD
Awesome Blossom
Split Pea
Truth
The Platinum Hunt Blog (includes SLURLS of participating creators and hints)

You want this Platinum Sn@tch (and my boobs!!)

2011-08-12T20:25:00.000-07:00

Hey, I got a boob job in real life! (Let's see if prudish PhotoBucket kills this picture.)

(Do I win the award for Most Random Way to Start an SL Blog Post?)

I didn't do it to be a sex bomb. I just got tired of being a 32 AA. Yes, AA. As in "Ain't Anything (There)." I wanted to be able to wear pretty tops and lovely lingerie and grown-up swimming suits. And I hated that moment of unveiling in front of a man — taking off my bra with four inches of padding and yelling, "FOOLED YA!" So I got some very proportionate C's. I marched into the cosmetic surgeon's office with a picture of my avie and said, "I want THIS rack right here!" (Kidding.)

As soon as they settle down, I'll be able to wear bustiers and bikinis and outfits like - dot dot dot - The Primrose Path outfit, which is Sn@tch's prize in The Platinum Hunt Deux, which started today.

Whew, I knew I'd get a segue in there somehow. All the pertinent details about the hunt are at the bottom of this post, in case you want to skip the babble.

Anyway, as for the new and improved bosom, I'm going through the post-surgery misery phase right now. Damn, these things are kind of cumbersome and uncomfortable as hell and my nipples are throbbing like a toothache and I have to wear this BDSM-style strap around my chest because the implants (saline! smooth! round! high-profile!) still haven't "dropped and fluffed" yet. In fact, the surgeon says it could take a month or two or even three before they drop and fluff. If you understand that sentence, you understand my misery, so IM me in world and let's talk fake boobs!

But enough about those things! Let's chat about a topic that nobody else is talking about: The Platinum Hunt Deux. I know many people, myself included, are on a tight budget and may take pause at the thought of paying 10L for a hunt prize. I bribed my way into the blogger preview room though, and I can attest to the fact that — depending on your tastes — most of the prizes are well worth it.

(UPDATE: Oh my GAWD, those insane girls over at The Rumor blog took pics of tons of the prizes! So see them HERE and decide for yourself.)

For instance, hell yeah I'd pay 10L for Sn@tch's Primrose Path:

It includes pink, blue and yellow versions of the cute bodysuit, the awesome netted hoop skirt and the stockings. (Also shown, not prizes: "You Lookin' Twice" pose from (pda)'s Dracula set; Belinda pumps in Rose by Berries, Inc.)

More prizes:

(My left elbow and wrist look awesome in this picture.)

- Barbarella necklace (set includes matching earrings) at #38 Donna Flora
- Platinum skin at #78 Filthy Skin, includes a cleavage option in a tattoo or undershirt layer (shown at top, fried eggs not included). WOW! I'm not used to being this tan, but I do love the lips and rosy cheeks. And the nose. I'm picky about my pixel noses. This one passes muster.
- Platina eyeshadow in Khaki at #41 Rozena (prize includes a set of six colors; the pink version is shown in pic No. 2)

(Also shown, not prizes: Tussilago eyes from the Herbalist collection at Vision - Eyes by A:S:S; Eliza hair by Rezipsa Loc.)

I'm also digging the Platinum Model pose prop, one of two prizes at #68 *BOOM*. DIGGING IT, I tell you!

Menu-driven with seven poses and six background textures.

Well. Sometimes you just have to flat-out admit that you don't know how to end a blog post.

I don't know how to end this blog post.

JOIN THE HUNT
- The Platinum Hunt Deux starts today and runs through Aug. 31.
- You are looking for a small, blue Tiffany-style box with a white bow.
- Each prize costs 10L. Prizes are guaranteed to be worth at least 400L.
- According to the Website, there are 102 stops on this hunt. The starting point is at Di's Opera.
- For more information, including a list of participating creators, their SLURLs, hints and a picture of the hunt item you're looking for, check out the Website HERE.

Breaking out of my comfort zone (in Doppelganger sweatpants)

2011-08-08T20:14:00.000-07:00

Lately I've been trying to be more adventurous and break out of my comfort zone, primarily in RL but also in SL. For instance, I'm saying "yes" more when I'd usually say "no," particularly when it comes to social invitations. At least that's a start.

Here in SL, I was delighted to discover that Doppelganger's new vintage sweatpants put kind of an ironic twist on my quest to break out of my comfort zone . . . because they're comfortable and I've been wearing them a lot these days. But it's not just that — they also have inspirational and encouraging words on them! Create! Dance! Live! Be! Breathe! Smile! Peace! Love! Relax! Chortle! (Just kidding — they don't have "chortle" pants. I wish, though.)

I kind of agonized over these pictures. For instance, in that top one up there, my pants are telling me to "create," yet it kind of looks like I'm sulking over my miserable life. The pic needs to be more joyous. Like this:

Create!

OK, so that just looks painful. Whatever. I tried and that's what counts. I should also be smiling, but ever since that time when I used that emotion HUD and my face got frozen in that huge, Stephen Kingish-killer-clown grin for a month, I don't use those things anymore.

Let's just Be instead.

Be.

That's my meditating "Be" picture. The "Be" is kind of hard to see, so I circled it for you. I guess I also took a trip to Fail City with all the Be pictures, and this one was the only one that didn't make me laugh and cringe at the same time. What, you don't believe me?

Trying to relax in soothing water. Yes, fully clothed. Cropped out a foreign naked guy who was bothering me. Ended up looking like I was trying to Be a bloated, drowned corpse.

I have no idea. I think that's a really bad waterfall animation. Or an anguished prayer for more lindens. And I guess you also don't need feet to Be.

Let's breathe?

Breathe!

Wow — a little bit of attitude there. "I'm gonna breathe and then I'm gonna slap you upside the head." Oops. Remember, it's not about the model; it's about the clothes. Look at those pants. We love them!

This is my cheesy little 512 parcel that I always forget about. I put a big damn rainbow on it because my neighbors and I are apparently having a "who can be more obnoxious on their horrible inland parcel" contest. But I guess the rainbow humidity really jacks up my hair. Oops.

So, it's time to talk about Live. I'm kind of digging the new suggestions that SL offers on the login screen now. I realize some of them are lame, but at least they provide an alternate to spending lindens and perhaps even some blog fodder. On Sunday I dutifully trotted over to the suggested Art in the Park event, which encouraged me to "take a stroll through the Village" and check out some SL artists' work on display.

"The Village" turned out to be a small shopping square, and even though confused noobs were scattered all over the place, I still managed to discover a couple of artists I liked and buy several paintings.

Live!

These paintings — "the magic of the moment," above my head, and "the music of the wind," on the side wall — are by RL/SL artist bachi Cheng. A mere 350L each and I love them. Note that I tried to put my own interpretative spin on "the magic of the moment." I'M COOL!

I sat like that until the sun came up:

Sorry. Just thought you should see it without the brooding darkness. Just when I start mastering shadows in pics, the latest viewer update turns it all upside down. Sigh. The cat looks crusty-eyed.

Anyway, bachi's RL Website is HERE and one of her inworld galleries is HERE.

Let's take a good hard look at my face for a second and then wrap this thing up.

I'm wearing a skin I won off a Lucky Board at Mother Goose's (out of my comfort zone!) and Truth's new short, curly (out of my comfort zone!) Claudia hair, not to mention a different shape - Allie by Embody Shapes & Poses - that I found in my inventory (out of my comfort zone!). The Salvia eyes (haha I wish) and the awesome Narayan necklace (50L at My Second Wardrobe) are by A:S:S. See credits below for SLURLs.

Doppelganger didn't pay me to write this post, but in some of these pics, I'm wearing their pink Boyfriend Sweatshirt (120L), which is one of my favorite things to wear when I'm shlepping around SL, which is almost all the time. It's exactly like something I'd practically wear to death in RL. And the unisex vintage sweatpants featured in this post (150L each, 1050L for the fatpack) are available in nine colors with a different word printed on each. Each color also includes a plain version in case you don't feel like wearing vocal pants.

I'm gonna go put on some real sweatpants now and go try to create something in RL. Like a nap.

GET THEM IN WORLD
Vintage Sweats, pink Boyfriend Sweatshirt at Doppelganger, Inc.
Rad Sweatshirt in Slate (first, second and fifth pic) by Tres Blah
Shoes: EcoPois No Leather Shoes (100L) by Les Petits Details
Hair: In first two pics, Fair in brown/coffee by [kik]; pics three and four: Glowing Review in Girl Next Door by Clawtooth; and Claudia in Streaked Burgundy by Truth
Necklace: Narayan necklace (50L) at My Second Wardrobe
Skin: HENA(2), free from the Lucky Board at Mother Goose's
Eyes: Salvia eyes from the Herbalist collection (400L for fatpack) at Vision - Eyes by A:S:S
Shape: Allie (249L) by Embody Shapes & Poses

I'm a Pinky Gal

2011-07-27T00:21:00.000-07:00

You don't usually see me running around in a kimono, but I'm all about busting out of my comfort zone these days.

I'm wearing this awesome yukata (summer kimono) for a few reasons:

1. I saw some of my friends wearing it and I wanted to be JUST LIKE THEM!

Kidding, sort of. They did look fabulous in them, though, and I wanted a slice of that fab. ("Gimme a slice of that fab on a silver platter, please!")

2. It's really pretty and kind of glowy and just a tad bit funky with that big glorious bow in the front.

and

3. It's FREE, if you have the patience. Pinky*Gals has three styles of this yukata with matching hair accessories in its lucky boards. HURRY if you want to try to snag one, because I think they're only out for a limited time. And get your friends together because the boards flip every 30 minutes. Yes, I said 30 agonizing minutes. That's why when I close my eyes these days, I see this:

Yeah, see that Q and that Z? Nice. (I couldn't get the third board in this pic - sorry.)

WOO! After a day-and-a-half of off-and-on board stalking, I won the yellow one and the pinkish one I'm wearing. Then I finally caved and bought the dark one. My patience only runs so deep. The best news is that these kimonos only cost 125L right now, so it won't be too painful if you just decide to buy one.

So go go go! You know you want to unleash your inner funky, glowy geisha! Give me a shout inworld if you need someone to flip an E. Those 30 minutes can feel like an eternity.

Here's your private jet: PINKY*GALS LUCKY BOARDS
NOTE: You'll need to join the Pinky*Gals group to slap them.

Much thanks to my friends over at the Lucky Kitty Crew blog for the initial heads-up on these things. They always know where the cool boards are. ♥

(Hair: Bumblebee in Ash Sky by LALA Moon)

Happy

2011-07-24T12:38:00.001-07:00

I'll sheepishly admit that I had never read Harlow Heslop's blog until blogger Khloe Nitely told me about Harlow's recent Inspire Challenge for bloggers. (Damn, that's a lot of blog in that sentence. Sorry.)

Khloe wrote about my blog for that challenge and it made me get all teary and warm and fuzzy-feeing. (Thank you, Khloe! ♥ I'm not worthy. Seriously.)

I thought that idea was so nice that I've been keeping an eye on Harlow's blog ever since. I'm not big on bloggers' challenges, mainly because when I try to write on demand it turns out to be total fail. The Inspire Challenge tripped me up because there are too many bloggers who inspire me. I didn't want to leave anyone out. But now Harlow has posted a new challenge called Real Life Love Challenge, in which she encourages bloggers to post a real pic that illustrates something we love about ourselves. That one doesn't seem so daunting.

So OK!

I love this photo for a few reasons:

1. One day a couple of months ago, I calculated the amount of time I was spending in front of a computer screen and it literally made me cry. LITERALLY! So I took out my Bucket List, picked out "Swim with dolphins" and yelled, "I'M DOIN' IT!" I signed up for a private dolphin-training course at Half Moon Resort in Jamaica in May. (They're very intense there about keeping the dolphins in a stress-free environment. They don't allow masses of people to interact with the dolphins. In fact, they only allow one person per course, per day with only three courses a week. I need to clarify these restrictions because of some animal-activist backlash I've gotten. This isn't one of those touristy dolphin-circus type places. It costs a fortune, specifically to deter the "I wanna touch a dolphin!"-type crowd.)

The course wasn't all fun and games. They very much wanted it to be a day in the life of a professional dolphin trainer — parts of it, like preparing dolphin food and cleaning and keeping medical records, were kind of grueling. I had to pretty much wipe out my savings account to pay for it. And none of my friends could get away from their jobs and families, so I had to suck it up and go alone. It was kind of a brave thing for me to do. In fact, forget "kind of." It was a REALLY brave thing for me to do.

2. I love the ocean passionately. I love animals passionately. But the real me is pretty conservative and socially awkward and generally anxious. This picture combines two of the things I love the most with a victory over two of the things I fear the most — doing something completely out of my comfort zone and, even worse, doing it all by myself.

3. I didn't realize one of the trainers was taking this picture. It is a raw, unstaged, unposed moment.

Before I saw this photo, I didn't know I could look so happy. :)

Sooooooo . . . breedable tigers

2011-07-18T15:44:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the jungle. It gets worse here every day.

I don't even . . . I can't . . . you know what . . . NO. Just no. That's all I got.

(I like your teeth.)

CHECK THEM OUT YOURSELF
WTF Tigers @ Claws N Paws

insomnia is a bitch

2011-07-17T01:10:00.000-07:00

I can't sleep, so I'm going to play a game called "Get that picture out of your life." I'm going to look away from the computer screen, blindly click one of the many random pics scattered around my desktop and write about it. Ready? Go!

I don't know what's coolest in this picture: the Bukka Western Boots (bury me in them please), the Acid & Mala's I ♥ My Jeans jeans (which have now earned my Favorite Jeans ranking) or . . . [long dramatic pause] . . . the SHRUNKEN HEAD my Coco Spark was rocking after the latest KittyCats update.

I'm voting for Door No. 3. I kind of hoped he would stay that way but eventually he worked it out.

(Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice, Beetlejuice!)

My fingers are crossed that KittyCatS will release some limited-edition ZOMBIE KITTYCATS for Halloween this year. None of that cutesy black-and-orange stuff. I want hardcore zombie cats that will chase you around screaming, "BRAINS!" I'm just gonna throw that out there now so they can start working on it.

(It's 3 a.m. I am kicking myself for not picking up my Ambien prescription today.)

Hey, when I bought the fatpack of these Bukka boots (480L for eight colors) I was delighted to discover it included an extra gift fatpack for me to give to a friend. A fatpack within a fatpack! DAMN that is generous. I went back (just for you) to see if Bukka does this with all its fatpacks and sadly the answer is no. Just some of them. Look for the little "Plus Gift" graphic in the bottom left corner of the vendor pic.

I'm going to try very hard to go to sleep now. If that doesn't work, I'm going to make a sandwich. Goodnight!

VISIT INWORLD
Bukka
A&M Creations
KittyCatS Main Store

Hey, look at my bandanas

2011-07-15T10:34:00.000-07:00

It's the last day of Hair Fair, which also means that it's Bandana Day, on which you can ditch your hair to show your support for cancer warriors. Wow, there were too many "which"-es in that sentence, so let me just say it again: which.

I have friends who are adamantly opposed to Bandana Day, and I think it's because back when I was a youngster in SL there was a lot of "OH MY GAWD, IT'S BANDANA DAY AND YOU'RE STILL WEARING HAIR! YOU'RE EVILLLLLLLLLL!" going on. Since then, the community as a whole has mellowed out a little bit, or at least I think so, but maybe that's because I just took a Xanax.

God, I feel laden with commas today. Sorry.

Anyway, if you want to wear a bandana today, good for you. If not, that's OK too. I'm OK, you're OK, we're all OK. Take my hand and let's all sing "Kumbaya." When we're done, look at my favorite bandanas:

Bandana Melanosetus by L+N Signature Design. **bows down before the Steampunk AWESOME SAUCE of this "bandana"**

It was designed as a small replica of the creators' first Steampunk ship. You can open and close that faceshield and it also shoots weapons when you touch it. Do we capitalize "Steampunk"? I have no clue. Let's capitalize it because everything Steampunk is win.

Leggy Mohawk Bandana by She's So Unusual Shoes. I'm trying so hard not to sing ZZ Top right now.

Creator Rowan Carroll also includes a notecard with a touching story about why she participates in Bandana Day. I appreciate it. I believe that sharing our personal stories is one of the greatest weapons we have against cancer. It transforms an ugly word into the faces of people we love. It helps others understand the depth and the breadth and the dimensions of this disease in a way that informational pamphlets and public service announcements just can't. So if you need to, start talking and we will listen with love. I promise.

Showgirl Bandana by Haroin. I thought about putting on a showgirl outfit with this one, but this blog is all about the bandanas. It's also why I'm not crediting anything else here. (But if you want to know what something is, just holler at me inworld.)

Look at the back:

Lovely. Making an exit is just as important as making an entrance, especially if you're storming out of a bar after throwing a beer in a guy's face oops that was my last RL date sorry got carried away for a minute there.

Garden Nymph Bandana by Haroin. I'm a sucker for any kind of flower that I can slap on my head. Give me a ton of them and I'm in heaven.

You can find these and many more fabulous bandanas at the landing points of all the Hair Fair sims. (Wow, I really held back this year, actually. I usually get caught up in a moment and carried away with Hair Fair bandanas.) Bandanas are 50L each and transferable, so you can buy a bunch and pass them around, if you feel so inclined.

I hope to get one more post in today before Hair Fair ends. I had planned on soooo many more posts, but unfortunately the recent death of my grandmother turned my life upside-down during the past couple of weeks. Apologies to the designers who sent me review packs. I feel like an arse. I'm sure your sales suffered greatly because your hair wasn't featured in this blog and I feel really bad about it. (OK, that made me laugh. Mocking this blog always makes me feel better.)

Have a beautiful Friday. ♥

Find SLURLS to all the Hair Fair sims on the Hair Fair blog: HERE.

Where the wild things are (and more hair)

2011-07-15T01:09:00.000-07:00

Be very quiet. I'm hunting Meeroos.

I have a love/hate relationship with those little bastards. They're sucking my lindens dry, and I feel like I need to have Master's degrees in math and husbandry (yay, I used a farming word) to successfully breed any kind of impressive and/or profitable offspring. Frustrating. But the gambler in me loves the mixing and matching and the "maybe this nest will finally be a rare one!" suspense. That's all I really want to say about them.

No matter how you feel about Meeroos, you might want to swing by the Mee & Roo Festivale this weekend. I love it when SL creators share their individual interpretations of one particular theme. It's like our own little version of "Project Runway." And in this case, some very talented designers were asked to create things inspired by or specifically for Meeroos.

So let's stop blabbing and look at some of this stuff. I'll try to keep the commentary to a minimum. (Keep your fingers crossed.) And while we're at it, let's knock out some more Hair Fair 2011 styles too. You still have all day July 15 to frolic around that place. Unless noted, everything shown in this post is from one of those venues.

Up top: Vanita's Vesture's Quixotic Party Dress in Ursine is only 150L and can go from crawling through the jungle during the day to a hip, happening shindig at night in a snap. It's fierce with a capital F, kids. And speaking of fierce . . .

I love this (red) Mint Hair No. 11 so much, I want to shellac it and hang it on my wall. If I could run around in RL with totally jacked-up hair and a bunch of feathers stuck in it, I'd be in heaven. Heaven, I tell you. And I'm holding a very rare, newly discovered traited Meeroo — the mystical No-Ear, No-Feet Meeroo. I heard that only one in 50,000 people will be lucky enough to breed one. I named mine Hulk Smash.

Makeup: Masked Makeup Set, 100L, by la petite morte — please note that the fuzzy lips are my computer's fault *kicks it*
Ears: Meeroo Ears and Tail set, 100L, by Jolly Farm.
Tattoo: Jungle Vine tattoo by Para Designs, not at festival

Meeroos sneaks by Jolly Farm, 200L. Win.

I guess I should have mentioned that I got to preview this event today while it was still a work in progress. I was so excited to see Evie's Closet there that I jumped up and down until somebody told me to quit it.

Bug-A-Boo Berry Fairy in Blue Berry, 175L, but there are four color variations of this bubbly little happy happy fun dress, so you might want to snag the fatpack for 350L. And yeah, we're kind of ghetto over here. We don't have a magical sparkly forest. My Meeroos live in a stable and sleep on hay. But so did Jesus for a while, so don't hate.

Shoes: Silk floral booties in Rose by Duh!, not at festival

I'm a big dorky, shy fangirl of Evie, but I gathered my courage and got really brave today and asked her for a picture of her Meeroos for this post:

*dies laughing* WOW. And that, my friends, is yet another reason why she is so damn awesome. Now let's all go over to her place and play Jenga with those things.

So anyway, I broke a major fashion rule and matched my hair to my wings:

(Look at that little hat that comes with the Bug-A-Boo outfit! Awwww!)

Hair: Bumblebee in Ash Sky by LALA Moon. Each color also includes a version with black bands.
Eyes: From the Bootiful Blue set at Re.Birth, not at festival
Makeup: Vamp Rose eyeshadow, 25L, by Star Salt. Creator Anarya Elderslie has several shades available at Mee & Roo for this very awesome price. Here's another one:

Star Salt makeup in Clover, 25L. I like the way it also changes the shape of my eyes. And it matches my Clover Meeroo!

Eyes: Forest from the Sparkles in your Eyes III set by A:S:S., not at festival
Hair: Gemma in Espresso by Aoharu Hair. The headband is color-change. I like Aoharu's hair at Hair Fair this year, but their colors need a little oomph, in my humble opinion.
Top: From SySy's limited-edition (only 50 available) GypsyLady Dress, 250L, at the new B.Unique shopping event. I just checked — there are still some left.

As long as we're on the subjects of Aoharu at Hair Fair and eyes:

Eyes: Like a 'Roo Eyes in Orchid - Clear by HooT, 25L. I liked them so much I went back and bought the 200L fatpack.
Hair: Color-change hat with attached Megan hair in Maple Brown by Aoharu. Cute!
Necklace: Gift to Meeroos Beta testers who preordered family packs; unfortunately it's no longer available. I would sell it to you but it's no-trans.

You'll also find Meeroos habitats, garden items and pose props at Mee & Roo. I would show you all of them, but this post is getting tedious and I know you like a little mystery in your life. Suffice it to say I loved this Summer Pergola (Beach Blue edition, 100L, other colors available) by HooT and these mushrooms — available in the Meeroo Display Set, 65L, and Land Deco Set, 55L, both shown below — by Little Boxes. They're all copy, so you can fill your whole yard with them.

Well, that was fun.

Can we do it again next weekend, but with Dodos?

VISIT IN WORLD
Mee & Roo Festivale (runs through July 17)
(red)Mint at Hair Fair
LALA Moon at Hair Fair
Aoharu Hair at Hair Fair
Complete list of Hair Fair designers/SLURLS (runs through July 15)

I put my thing down, flip it and reverse it

2011-07-10T21:07:00.000-07:00

(When I get all mopey with the blues and stuff, I listen to Missy Elliott. *points up at the random title*)

My inventory finally loaded! My inventory finally loaded! Let's put aside the emo and the lame attempts at humor and just talk about hair and clothes for a change. Sweet, sweet sigh of relief.

So, there's this thing called Hair Fair 2011 going on right now. I pretty much missed all but the last 20 minutes of Blogger Preview Day (was it last week? I've lost all track of time), so I'm just straggling over there now. One notable detail is that ALL hairstyles are donation styles for Wigs For Kids this year. So get over there and go wild! You have through July 15. (SLURL info is at the end of this post.)

So far I'm loving this Cynth hair by SugarSmacK, so much so that I may go back and buy the fatpack:

Cynth in Maple-Berri Blondie from the Bombshell Blondes pack (four colors). So damn sassy I can hardly stand it! I'm wearing it a little big, to be honest, because I'm from the South and hair bugs me in both worlds if it's not huge. I'm being serious. Plus, I have baby-fine hair in RL so I like to live vicariously through the +20 button on resizer menus.

Anyway, I don't know what I love more — the hair or the name of the designer. I want to make up a new karate move now called sugarsmack. Then I want to put on some pink spandex and hit somebody in the face — but without breaking a pink fingernail — and yell "SUGARSMACK!" when I do it. But I want it to be in a spiky cartoon balloon coming out of my mouth like a comic book.

. . . totally lost my train of thought. Oh yeah. Check out the cute back:

Kicky! If I got this hairstyle in RL, I'd end up looking like a "I'm trying so hard to be hip but I'm kind of failing" soccer mom. Trust me. I've already lived it.

You like that tattoo? It's by Mees, at Twinkle Night Bazaar in celebration of Tanabata (traditional Japanese star festival), and you still have until midnight to get over there! Fabulous affordable Japanese stuff. I bought almost everything there and didn't even cry. That's how affordable it is. Look at this Eve dress, also by Mees:

It's 90L. You've got that in your back pocket in pocket change! I know you do! And what the hell— I guess I only took that one picture of myself in that dress. Oops. Dislike. I look like I'm getting ready to go off on somebody. ("Now listen, you!") But wow, I love the top of that dress. It pays homage to my awesome cleavage.

I'm posing in the TSB Sky Room, 100L, by nocc., also available at Twinkle Night Bazaar. I bought it, rezzed it and then I had no idea how to get in the damn thing:

I flew around slamming into it like a mentally challenged moth for a while and then I finally rezzed a stool in there and sat on it. I am nothing if not resourceful. It's pretty, with glowy grass and tall bamboo and beautiful animated night skies. If I had something like this in RL, I'd never leave it. I have no idea how many prims it is, but it can't be many or my parcel would have bitch-slapped me when I rezzed it. (Or sugarsmacked me.)

Next picture:

Don't look at that one boob. I just noticed it. I don't know what it's doing. Or why. It's making a statement. Or pointing at something. Whatever. But do look at that Isis 2 hair by Calico Ingmann Creations at Hair Fair. And the MilkyWay dress, 77L, by Fall Into Decay at Twinkle Night Bazaar.

The bottom of the dress is particularly striking. That sounded pretentious. "The bottom of the dress is cool." It's got luminous wisps hanging from the hem:

Those Sequin Flats are part of a 100L two-pack at A.D.D. Andel! for La Venta Eventa this weekend. You have until midnight SLT to get them at that price. There's also a green pair in that pack. Another pack has red and yellow pairs. Each pair comes in two versions: bow or no bow. I'll be honest, I felt kind of meh about them (but of course it didn't stop me from buying them) until I put them on. Then I went, "Ooooooh! Cute!"

As for the hair, I wait in eager anticipation each year to see what Calico Ingmann's going to do for Hair Fair. Her work is always so detailed and fantastical. She didn't disappoint this year, IMHO.

Isis 2, Dark Reds pack — includes a HUD with seven colors, as well as optional streak HUDS in seven palettes.

See! Look how dreamy I look. And yes, that is a tattoo on my lip, thank you for asking. I got it for 1L at Brit. Store. + Cappuccino Bar. Cute store. (Eyes: Tears in Your Eyes in Orchids by A:S:S. Skin: Kianna in Smokey by Mynerva. Necklace: Sunset necklace by Your Skin & Your Shape for The Dressing Room. No longer available, but the rest of their jewelry at the main store is just as awesome.)

Side view:

The shells and the roses are HUD-controlled texture-change with many color options. The braid is detachable. There's a mirror version of the style if you prefer the bun and braid on the other side. It also comes with a beautiful headpiece (not shown). Wow!

There's a great list of all the designers and SLURLs RIGHT HERE CLICK HERE on the Hair Fair 2011 blog if you haven't found it yet. I've read it and re-read it and I can't find Curio Obscura though. WHAT? NO! If Curio Obscura isn't releasing any wild and wacky hair this year, it's going to be the ICING on my SUMMER OF SUCK CAKE.

Sigh. Oh well. Stay tuned for more great hairstyles in the next few posts.

VISIT INWORLD
Hair Fair 2011 SLURLS (on four sims, runs through July 15)
SugarSmacK at Hair Fair
Calico Ingmann Creations at Hair Fair
Hair Fair 2011 Blog
Twinkle Night Bazaar (until 12 a.m. SLT July 11)
A.D.D. Andel!
Brit. Store + Cappuccino Bar
A:S:S Deluxe (new eye store by A:S:S!)
Mynerva
Your Skin & Your Shape

Your house is stressing me the hell out

2011-07-09T17:18:00.000-07:00

I'm underwater at Cyclops right now, trying to get my inventory to load. If that sentence was Greek to you, Cyclops is a water sim with not a hell of a lot going on. So if you have a massive inventory like I do, it'll load faster here. The only thing I don't understand about the place: There are AVs who have been underwater here for months. I know because every time I have to come down here, they're always here. How is this possible?

There are real things I need to blog, like Hair Fair and shtuff, but I can't take decent pics until I have an inventory. Until then, you're going to have to deal with the scraps of patheticness that are on my desktop. And unfortunately most of them are really bad pics I took in utter fascination of my neighbors' houses.

There was a time when I would NEVER cam into a neighbor's house. Ever. But I've been in SL for more than three years now and sometimes it gets boring here. My virtual scruples are fading fast, and they fade even faster if you have a fugly house that's just begging for my attention. And lately I've found a lot of them.

In fact, I wish I could partner with a home decor designer and start a cool blog series called "Your House is Stressing Me the Hell Out" and play this little game where if I find your eyesore of a house and showcase it in this blog, you win a home makeover from that designer. I'd also need a decent photog to help me pull it off. That's just a little blog fantasy of mine. The only awkward part would be notifying the unsuspecting winners. ("Hi! You don't know us, but your house is sooooo bad that we're invading it and redecorating it for you!") But maybe friends could nominate their friends or people could nominate their neighbors or whatever, and then it wouldn't be all on me to break the news. Kind of like that show "What Not to Wear," where I'm sure the people at first want to kill their families, spouses and best friends for nominating them for their horrible wardrobes, but then decide life is truly awesome when they realize they get a multi-thousand dollar shopping spree in NYC because of it. I've been running around in ugly clothes on purpose in RL ever since that show started.

WOW. I'M BABBLING. SORRY.

Anyway, let's do it! Unfortunately I don't have a home makeover for these people. They just get gently mocked this time. But with love, I swear. I say something nice about them at the end of this post, too. And I mean it sincerely.

Your House is Stressing Me the Hell Out

OK, so as some of you know, I rent a few farm parcels for my many breedable animals that eat up all my lindens and hardly ever produce offspring worth selling. It's like an extreme nicotine habit I can't shake. ("I'm chain-smokin' Red Tabbies!") Because of them, however, I've learned a new way to describe SL to the uneducated masses. During the two weeks I spent in hospice with my late grandmother, many many many many nurses would look over my shoulder at SL on my laptop (annoying) and ask, "What IS that?" I'd answer, "It's kind of like another version of FarmVille" and they'd say, "Oh!" with a tone of wisdom and acceptance and walk away and leave me the hell alone. Beautiful.

Anyway, this land where my farm parcels are located is zoned for FARMING. The land agreement even asks tenants to stick to a farm theme, but the landlady is a sweetheart and she obviously doesn't crack down too hard. But see, check it out . . . it's FARMLAND:

Horses. Barns. Sunflowers. Breedable glowy dragons in the background. Yes — in SL, dragons sometimes are considered livestock. That's why we are awesome here.

And then THIS GUY rolls in (literally, in two cars):

W T holy F? You can't see it, but those lights on the right side of the house flash. Obnoxiously.

Keep out. (OK.)

Pretty.

Look, I got news for you, man: Your gangsta sh*t is NOT THAT GANGSTA when it's surrounded by barns and horses. I'm just sayin'.

Let's ignore the "Keep Out" sign and look inside. Don't tell anyone.

OH MY GAWD, IT'S A THRONE!! With . . . boxes of ammo and a classy-looking plant to add some thoughtful decorative touches! And a little chair next to it. For . . . the queen of Gangstaland. Or something.

Ohhhhh. OK. I Googled "Saints Row" because I'm not hip to all the gang-war video games out there. Now I feel bad for making fun of the throne. I don't want the 3rd Street Saints after me. I would, however, just like to offer one small piece of decorating advice: Watch where you place that neon pink stripper pole in the middle. That looks painful for that poor guy. (Is that a neon dildo on the bar?)

I will give him 10 points for the animated aquarium and the fact that he matched his purple couches to it. And three points for his apparent love of classical music. In fact, I'll add on a couple more points, because, although I do see an old-school pose ball at the piano bench, I do not see sex pose balls ON the piano, which frankly surprises me a little. (No offense, Gangsta Farmer.)

I'm going to stop now before he finds me and shoots all my horses with a machine gun.

**leaves for a second to put ban lines around my parcels**

. . . Let's move on to the chick next to him. OH YES! If you build it, they will come. All it took was one deviation from the farm thing and then EVERYBODY started gettin' ALL CRAZAY up in the happy farming sim. Before we start perving, I should mention that I *have* exchanged a few words with this lady and she's nice enough. Sometimes I log on and find her on my parcels poking my animals though. Payback time: I poke her house.

Well. It's big. It doesn't have a neon stripper sign on it, so thank you for that. In fact, her home's exterior has a decidedly feminine touch:

Fairies! I like fairies. I like them better in person though. But hey, these aren't flashing, so there's that. (The jaggedy lines of the house are my fault. Or my graphics card's fault. Bad Mac!)

Let's check out one of the bedrooms!

Chanel.

Oh, honey. Coco says no. But look carefully: At least there's a view of HORSES from the bedroom window. And . . . spotlights shining down on the satin sheets. Hey, good sex deserves good lighting. Especially if you're filming it.

The red velvet living room. Hey, I like your boyfriend! (Before you start thinking that guy is a total douche, I'm the one who added those smooth shades to protect his identity. It makes me feel slightly less like a complete asshole right now. Not by much though.)

Since I've started perving strangers' houses, I've learned that the secret to a successful SL relationship apparently is to hang up a BIG DAMN PICTURE of your partner or both of you somewhere on your property. Some people prefer to put it outside, billboard-style. Others prefer to fill up one whole wall of a room with it and frame it with red velvet curtains. I don't think the location matters. What does matter is that the skin and hair MUST be from the year 2008. Otherwise, the public declaration of your love will be total fail.

I'm a really nice person, I swear, so I'm going to end this post with pictures of my own house (on Bluebonnet, not the farm sim — SEE, I do it right) so you can mock me too if you want. Well, the house itself actually is a point of pride. A couple of days ago, I tried to delete some Fourth of July decorations and accidentally deleted my whole house instead (hate it when that happens), which turned out to be a good thing. Accidentally deleting my house usually is the only thing that will force me to get up off my arse and change houses. So this time I chose the "damn I wish I had this house in real life" beach house called Ariel by Funky*Junk:

If you want to make me scream with delight, put a house on stilts. Then I don't have to terraform. If I have to terraform, chances are good that I'm going to just give up and say, "Screw this," and leave a big lump of land sticking up out of my living room floor.

Here it is in the raw, without my attempts at mood lighting. I'll probably never get the hang of artfully using SL shadows in pictures, but at least I occasionally give it a shot.

(Can you find The Bunny?) That bad-ass Amaretto Charmed Nightmare Clydesdale is not included with the house, BTW. Two boring horses bumped uglies and popped that thing out the other day, which sent me into throes of orgasmic ecstasy. The cute beachy decorations on the house, however, ARE included.

Ariel is 499L and available in Mist (shown) and Kelp, which is a beachy green. It's 161 prims with all the exterior beach decor and 145 prims without it. It includes lockable doors, and the windows are tintable for privacy. Wow, that's kind of ironic, considering the subject matter of this post. I guess if you live near me, you'll need those.

OK. I'm almost done. This is the longest post I've ever written. Here's a pic of the interior of my lovely home.

Awwwww yeeeahhhhhh! Nothing but cats, baby!

The moral to this post? Props to the people — including those mentioned here —who at least put love, time and effort into decorating their houses. Some of us just throw down a bunch of cats and a pose stand in a room and call it a day.

VISIT IN WORLD:
Funky*Junk
Cyclops
Paradise World Estates leasing office — I pay $1530/week for a 988-prim Farming-zoned parcel. Smaller parcels also are available, as well as Residential- and Commercial-zoned parcels in Moderate or Adult categories.

A day in the life of my OH SO STELLAR graphics card

2011-06-29T09:23:00.000-07:00

Occasionally I like to treat everyone to glimpses of Second Life through the eyes of Emerald. Like my yard, for instance:

Hey, look at my dodos and my Amaretto unicorns!

I don't know what's going on with my graphics card. When I ordered this MacBook Pro, I customized it to be optimized for gaming. It was awesome for a while and then I must have broken it. Now I see that the newer versions have even better graphics cards. Damn you, Apple.

Unfortunately it's even worse at my grandmother's house. She has no Internet because she "never got the hang of it," despite our best efforts to teach her. So for the past two weeks, I've been tethering my iPhone to my computer and using it as a personal Hotspot. ("OOOOH BABY, LET ME SHOW YOU MY HOTSPOT!") I exceeded my data allowance a few days ago. Can't wait to get that bill.

It sucks though. It gets me online, but forget about high speeds or decent graphics or anything that lets me have a normal Second Life. And oh how I've needed a normal Second Life this month. Any normalcy anywhere would be nice. Instead I kind of just grope around at shapes and put blobs down on the ground and hope that it's the right food for the right blobby animals and wander around and attempt to check things out and fail.

This newish Truth hair is called Fiona. See why he begs me to blog his hair every week?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SECOND LIFE! The installations this year are truly awesome!

Speaking of awesome SLB8 installations, if you've never owned breedable KittyCatS and want to try one out, you can click the hat and get a free limited edition kitty, complete with food and accessories, at the SLB8 KittyCatS exhibit:

HELP WHAT IS THAT THING?!

GET IT AWAY FROM ME!

Yeah, so SLB8 isn't working out so well for me right now. Hopefully I'll get out of Iowa someday soon and will still have time to check it out when I get home. In the meantime, you can see what the free cat really looks like HERE on the KittyCatS Website. The festivities run through July 2. For a list of other great SLB8 freebies, check out the Lucky Kitty Crew blog HERE and HERE.

Let's stop looking at pathetic pictures. I did manage to take one that almost looks decent:

Ooooooh! I was shocked when two rather ordinary cats gave birth to this snowshoe lilac with rainbow prism eyes. So shocked, in fact, that I immediately put it up for sale in Emerald's Magical Cat Shack.

Yeah, sadly I'm about to slaughter, sell or box up all my animals. I would like to try to wean myself off SL a little, and I can't do that when I'm constantly worrying about feeding fake animals. The KittyCatS in particular will be painful, but DAMN, I can't afford the Perma-Pet vitamins to turn my favorite ones into low-maintenance pets. As much as I love these cats and their creators, I'm unhappy about the insane amount of lindens (1500L - 1800L) it costs to turn these cats into non-breedables. With the horses, the dodos and the Wildwoods, I simply have to click a button on the menus and my lindens get to breathe a sigh of relief. The fact that I have nurtured and loved some of these damn KittyCatS for more than 120 days — when their breeding cycles have officially ended — and STILL have to pay 1500L to turn each one of them into "pets" makes me want to THROW A BIG DAMN TANTRUM JUST LIKE THIS ONE RIGHT HERE. /END RANT.

Sorry. I'm grumpy. My Aunt Who is Apparently Always on Speed or at Least Adderall has decided that "all the girls in the family" need to go get pedicures together today to take our minds off the death of my grandmother yesterday. This sounds like agony to me. I would rather get a root canal with no novocaine right now. At least then I'd have a legitimate reason to scream. It's almost like everyone in this family is afraid to be alone and quiet for five minutes. Me, I need time to myself to finally let go and breathe. But it's not going to happen. We don't "mope around" in this family. I told my mom I was boycotting the pedicure thing and she started bawling and slinging guilt trips at me and telling me that I'm selfish. I feel like I'm going insane. I'm tired of not being selfish. If I didn't want to make a bad situation worse, I'd put on a huge tiara, proudly proclaim myself Queen of All the Selfish Assholes in the World and go back to bed for the day.

I guess I'm off to soak my feet in a big bath of denial and get my toes painted something cheery. :(

Get your free SLB8 limited-edition KittyCat here: SLB8 KITTYCATS EXHIBIT . . . or buy a sparkly one at EMERALD'S MAGICAL CAT SHACK

And then there was silence

2011-06-28T18:27:00.000-07:00

I want to thank everyone who has been so kind and supportive during these Most Dismal and Wretched Two Weeks of My Entire Life. After 14 days in a coma, my grandmother finally passed away at 3:36 a.m. today. (I know the exact time because apparently I've been watching way too much TV and I thought a medical examiner was going to ask me or something.)

I'm going to use the word "peacefully" because the nurses told us to expect all kinds of possibly horrific things at the end, and none of that stuff happened. There were a few scary things that will probably haunt me for the rest of my life, but all in all, I'm glad I was there. My mother and I were sitting on each side of her, holding her hands. She looked really peaceful once it was all over, although I'll admit that I didn't look at her much afterward. It was the middle of the night and I was sort of freaked out and I half expected her to open her eyes and sit up and yell, "BOO!"

The inner child does not like dead people, no matter who they are.

The funeral is this weekend. I don't know how I'm going to make it until then. I just want to GET THE HELL OUT OF IOWA. I've had enough. I wrote her obituary today. Then I cried for about an hour. Then I slept for a couple of hours. Then I cried for another hour. Then I stood in the shower and cried some more. Just call me officially traumatized at this point. And wiped out. I miss her. I don't even think the word "miss" is adequate, actually. Somebody needs to invent a new word.

My grandmother was a beautiful woman with a caring spirit. She taught me everything I know about grace and generosity and what it means to be a genuinely lovely person. She had an amazing sense of humor, and when she talked to people, she made them smile — but more importantly, she made each person feel like he or she was the most important person in the world. She was my biggest cheerleader, and even in my lowest moments, she always acted like I was nothing short of amazing. She was a strong woman who taught me how to get back on my feet when life knocked me down, and she never let me forget what a gift every second of this life is, even when it sucks. As heartbreaking as this time has been, I feel honored that I got to share her last moments with her.

I hope she knew somehow that she was not alone at the end. I hope I get to see her again someday.

June 28, 2011

girl power

2011-06-22T12:49:00.000-07:00

This blog has been dead for a while. I'm in a hospice home with my grandmother, who suffered a brain aneurysm last week. She's in a coma now. She's not coming out of it. We have unplugged all the machines, but her body is still plugging away on autopilot. There is no brain activity. And I guess I can only write in these stilted sentences.

My mother and I have been sitting with my grandmother day and night here. None of my other relatives can do it. They come in, stay for a while, say "I can't do this" and leave soon after. I don't hold it against them at all. But my mother just can't leave my grandmother lying alone in this room in this house full of dying people. And I can't bear to think of my mother sitting here alone all night, every night, so I'm here too. Grandmother, mother, daughter together at the end of this journey — it's kind of poetic. It's almost like we have transformed this depressing disinfected room into a sacred space. So there's that. Girl power. yay.

I never thought I'd pray for someone to die before, but I just want my grandmother to be at peace. We were so close. This depleted shell of a person lying here is not my grandmother. I'd like to think my grandmother's spirit is already somewhere nice. I hope her spirit is not tied to her body right now, waiting with the rest of us for this hell to come to an end. She was a beautiful, shining, caring person. She deserves a limo ride to that great white light or wherever the hell we go when we die. The hospice chaplain comes to talk to me and I just stare at him blankly. I'm not in the mood for happy stories about heaven at the moment. If there is a God, I'd like to punch him in the face right now.

I'm amused by the men in this family who "just can't do this." My brother admitted that he comes in this room and feels starkly terrified. My grandmother has had several strokes since she's been unconscious, so her face is completely slack and unrecognizable. Her mouth is open. She doesn't breathe — she gurgles. And hell yeah, it's scary as sh*t. Her eyes opened by reflex yesterday and I screamed like someone in a horror movie. And when the lights are off, forget about it. But we are women and we are caretakers and we are strong and blah blah blah. We bring life into this world and maybe that amazing gift also gives us the fortitude to hold a hand as a life fades away. I feel blessed and slightly cursed at the same time.

In SL, all my animals are dying. I get emails from my cats, wailing that they're 30, 40, 50, 60, 70 percent hungry and it suddenly seems ridiculous to me. There's free wireless Internet here in the hospice home, but most of the time I don't feel like staring at a computer screen for very long.

So that's my story. Oh and I got laid off last week. So there's that too.

I'm having one hell of a month. It's kicking my ass all over the place. I hope yours is better. If you are the praying type, my grandmother's name is Gretchen. Please ask God to come take her home.

Love and hugs,
Em

Bottle full of bub

2011-06-05T18:15:00.000-07:00

Any time Keira Seerose plans something, I get kind of giddy because it usually means there's going to be a room full of shopping nirvana.

This time it's Ch1c Management's first birthday, and that means three things: a) I'm really damn proud of myself for remembering to put that '1' there instead of the 'i' in "Chic," b) it's time for another room full of shopping nirvana, and 3) you may or may not be stuck on 50 Cent's "In Da Club" for the rest of the day now.

Go shawty, it's your birthday!

(OK, I'm sooooo white, that was kind of awkward. Sorry.)

It also means that you may or may not be sick of seeing blog posts about this glee-inducing event and if so, I'M SORRY!

You have to understand that all I've been talking about in SL for the past week is how many times I pet my Meeroos a day and how many regard points I have and whether or not I have a Red one (no) or an Autumn one (yes) or a Sienna one (want) and if I'm being a good fellowship member and why oh why didn't I click that stupid broken pipe before that bastard vanished and why the hell is there so much stale shortbread and other random shite buried in my yard anyway and maybe if I buy just one more family pack there'll be a Koi in it and hey where do you sell your Meeroos because I sell mine here and here and here and who do I have to sleep with to get a stall at Red Barn Meeroos because that seems to be the most happening place these days and how much do you think I can get for this Lazy Ursine and why couldn't they have spiced things up a little and named the personality "Lazy-ASS" Ursine and hey isn't that little sound they make kind of annoying after you listen to it for a few hours yes it is you know it is admit it . . . . WHOOOOOOOOOOOO!

So it feels good to talk about clothes for a change. Or anything else, for that matter. Because in real life . . . well, wait, let's get back on point for a minute:

Me and my shaaaaaadows! (Sorry. I'm just excited that I finally got shadows to work on my Mac. Now you're going to have to deal with a bunch of bad shadow pictures for a while.)

This Ballina Beach Set is W. Winx's contribution to the Ch1c Birthday event. The total setup — and you can pick and choose what you want on that deck and where you want it — is 75 prims and has plenty of texture change options everywhere, including on the privacy wall in the back. I love that everything is Copy and that the folder includes a pre-assembled version as well as all the separate pieces. Nice!

Anyway, in real life I got a little cosmetic tune-up last week. I have this kind of bony face that made me look like a starved bird, so I got a few vials of fat ("dermal fillers") injected into it. I also bought some lips. And for the first time, Botox. Wow, Botox at age *cough* 39! (Yes, I'm 39 again this year. You got that? Good.) I'm not sure if I'll do the Botox thing again - creepy - but I'm totally loving my "hell no, I'm not 40!" face now. My forehead looks worry-free, the dark exhausted-looking grooves under my eyes are gone, my cheeks are filled out and my formerly thin lips look lipgloss worthy now. And it doesn't look drastic. It looks like I've been on vacation for two weeks and maybe kissing people a little too much. Next up: Boobs. Oh yeah, baby! The RL Emerald is bringing sexy back this year . . . or at least my credit card is.

So, speaking of a beautiful face (see, there was a point to that paragraph!):

Mynerva's new Bianca in Latte, with Clarus eyes in Daisy from Aphotic Gloom. Hair: Jaqueline 2 in Burgundy by Truth.

I started to write a poetic paragraph about how much I love this skin, particularly in the darker tones, but I think I'll just let the picture speak for itself.

OK — I want to talk about this flirty fun Animal Print Jumpsuit by Indie Rose for a minute and then I have to go check my effing Meeroos. I didn't even want to get into the whole Meeroos thing, but my competitive spirit wants to assemble a Meeroos gene-machine dream team that'll produce exciting offspring. And everyone will go, "OOOOOH! AHHHHH! OHHHHH!" and then I'll feel fulfilled.

Anyway, I don't know what I love more, this kicky little jumpsuit (shown with lassitude & ennui's Skully pumps in purple; the top pic features the black ones) or the HUD that comes with Indie Rose's fatpacks:

(Sorry I'm underwater here. I'm trying to get my inventory to load.)

I've never seen this type of HUD before, but maybe it's because I'm usually too broke to buy fatpacks. But HOW COOL — you just click the dress on the HUD that you want to wear and it drops that folder in your inventory. You can delete the dress when you're done wearing it because you can always get a new one from the HUD. Now can someone please make one for my 160K inventory?

Let's go sip Bacardi like it's your birthday.

CHECK IT OUT
CH1C Birthday Event — features more than 90 awesome designers and runs until 4 p.m. SLT June 19. (And BLESS THEM for specifying the hour when it ends. It eliminates confusion.) You can get everything in this post except the hair there.

Poses in this blog are from Exposeur and Still Life.

I pride myself on listing prices of almost everything I feature in this blog, but in this case these items were all blogger review copies so I have no clue. (But if you want to know a price, I will personally go find out for you.) The fact that someone deemed me worthy of covering this event made me get kind of teary, actually.

Smack my bitch up

2011-05-29T15:56:00.000-07:00

I don't know what's creepier — this cat or the ugly photosourced ground it's on.

Quit doing that!!

Scaring me. :(

If you get a chance, could you please go smack this MM board? I know it's not your style. Just do it for the karma. Do it for your country. Do it for world peace. Do it for the rights of decapitated cats everywhere!

It's at the store Lamp*Light. I stole this pic from the Lucky Kitty Crew blog, actually. Thief! I blame the exorcist cat!

Also, any man who sends me a picture of himself in this dress will get 15 minutes of blog fame here and a pony.

I'm just kidding — I don't have a pony. But I saw my friend Serenity Semple today and SHE'S A PONY! Or a unicorn. A PonyCorn!

I've been hearing people talk about these AVs in a group chat and now I kind of wish I would have been paying attention. Maybe I want to be a cartoon ponycorn.

Before I end this post, let's have a moment of silence for my Breedable Dodos. Beta testing ended today and they all vanished. I sat on my favorite one, Patrice, and screamed, "DON'T YOU TAKE HER!" . . . but then she poofed, leaving me crumpled in a heap on the ground, sobbing.

**sniff**

Supposedly the real deals will be out June 15. See you at the dodo racing tracks!

DON'T FORGET TO SMACK THIS BOARD:
Lamp*Light

posted 5/29/2011

In Bloom (but mainly a lot of rambling about Blythe)

2011-05-19T13:11:00.000-07:00

On my Mac, these pics look lighter and crispier and cooler with more contrast. On my crappy work computer (don't tell my boss) they look like hell. If they look like hell on your computer, just pretend they're awesome. Maybe I'll mess around with them later. OK, let's begin:

In 1972, the toy company Kenner released a doll with an oversized head and giant eyes. Named Blythe, she was yanked off the shelves several months later because she SCARED THE BEJEEZUS out of little kids.

Fortunately for those of us who now love Blythe, in 2000, photographer and doll aficionado Gina Garan used Blythe in a stop-motion Christmas commercial for the Japanese department store chain Parco:

**shudder**

I don't like the part where those other two come crunching through the snow. :(

"Have a Blythe Christmas."

I guess society had gotten just a little bit more twisted since the '70s, because people all over the world watched this commercial and screamed, "I WANT THAT THING!" So the company CWC, along with the Japanese toy company Takara, started releasing new Blythe dolls. And all the collectors of creepy dolls lived happily ever after.

That's kind of the Blythe story in a nutshell. I love Blythe dolls. However, I also happen to be a single woman clinging to the remnants of her 30s. It's hard enough finding a normal guy to date these days without tilting the odds even more by decorating my bachelorette pad with a bunch of freaky dolls. So I only have two of them. In a box. In my closet. Under a blanket.

If you're wondering why the hell I'm even talking about Blythe, I'll get to that - I promise!

I could get into this big thing about how there are four different Blythe body types, and how all I really want is one Blythe doll with each body type, but I won't. Suffice it to say that if you want to learn more about Blythe, I'd visit the following Websites:

Gina Garan's This is Blythe
Blythe Body Type Chart by Puchi Collective
Blythe Doll list at LoveBlytheDoll.com — which I REALLY love because it shows all of them and categorizes them by body type

Anyway. Look at my dollies!!!

I have Candy's Precocious Mushroom (WTF does this mean?):

. . . and Sunday Very Best, which I bought by accident because I thought it was an earlier version called Sunday Best. Dammit. I still love her though:

Sometimes I like to lurk around on eBay -- where I stole these pictures -- and watch these things. I'm psyched to see that Mushroom has gone up about $200 in value since I bought her last year. (Does anybody still say "psyched"? Probably not.)

Someday when I feel like impulsively spending about $300, I'm getting this Ribboneta Wish:

Hello Kitty!

But enough about me!

If you want a Blythe doll but don't want to shell out the big bucks for it in RL, creator Emma Gilmour of Sand Shack Surf Co. has created the next best thing, as far as I'm concerned, with her Bloom Doll AVs. I'm proud to be the first person to blog them and take a picture of one.

This is Spooky Bloom, but she's not as scary as my photography skills.

I'm gonna have a field day with these things. A field day, I tell you!

There are six girl AVs available and two boy AVs for 600L each. I bought all the girls. Sorry boy Blooms, but I'm just not into doll gender bending.

Each AV includes two shapes, the head, skin, poses and a collector's doll box. As with the real Blythe dolls, you have several eye options, eye lid options and lash options - all menu-driven.

There are some ROCKIN' pics of them on Flickr! I am in awe of the artistry and the creativity that's on display in that pool. Damn.

OK, so, I'm at work and I have to get back to work. But first:

This was supposed to be the lead picture in this post but I realized too late that the SHOES DIDN'T REZ. **kicks SL** If it were up to SL, I'd be barefoot all the time. Or even footless, for that matter.

I'm going to be honest with you: Modding hair to fit that BIG DAMN HEAD can be kind of a bitch.

I'm wearing Chloe . . . OOPS, I MEAN LAYLA! . . . by Truth in Streaked Crow (I think). The Queen of Hearts outfit is from RFyre. Tattoo is a former group gift from LuNi Designs. And the shoes . . . well, eff you, shoes.

I'm ashamed to say I hastily slapped this look together so I could write this blog post. These AVs deserve a lot more care in the styling. A real Blythe doll, for example, comes with a zillion little cool accessories.

Shoot - my boss wants something. I have to go!

CHECK THEM OUT
Sand Shack Surf Co.
Bloom Doll Flickr Pool

That's what I'm talkin' 'bout, Willis!

2011-05-19T05:21:00.000-07:00

[20:56] KittyCats - Kitten: Type a new name for your Cat in local chat :)

[20:56] Emerald Wynn: BAD ASS COCO WHO DON'T TAKE NO CRAP FROM NOBODY

[20:56] KittyCats - BAD ASS COCO WHO DON'T TAKE NO CRAP FROM NOBODY: Aww, I love my name! It's purrfect!

If you catch her, throw her back

2011-05-15T09:42:00.000-07:00

(I'm excited to be the first person ever to wear this [LeLutka] Rykiel hair in a blog post.)

I have a young cousin in RL — her name is Katie — who hit the jackpot with all the good Irish genes in our family. She looks just like this picture: Like a wild and slightly dangerous mermaid who rose from a stormy sea and reluctantly threw on human clothing so she could hit a few beach bars to do tequila shots with sailors.

Katie has this exact same hair — like it wants to be curly but just sort of gave up and exploded into this come-hither mop instead. You can run your fingers through it but you may never see them again. She also has those same ice blue eyes and kiss-me lips too. And her body — women often ask her where she gets her "work done." The answer is nowhere. God did a really awesome job with her sliders.

I hate her.

Just kidding.

Sort of.

But yeah, when I got done dolling up my AV today, I looked at her and thought, "Oh hell, I just made Katie."

Katie grew up in Iowa but took off as soon as she got a driver's license. She hung out with me in Arizona for a while, but I got tired of bailing her out of jail (party crimes: public intoxication and "tipsy driving,"as she put it) and she got tired of the scorching heat, so she took off for California in her old beater Volvo.

It sounds like a stupid made-for-TV movie on Lifetime, huh?

She never really got a steady job and she lives this freewheelin' California lifestyle — just kind of wandering around, enchanting men everywhere, getting one beachy, no-stress job after another and extolling the virtues of freshly squeezed juice and yoga to anyone who'll listen. Ten years later and somehow she's living in Malibu like she owns it. Now at age 30, she still looks like an etherial mermaid with a permanent Cosmo buzz. She lives in the moment. Her head is thrown back in laughter in almost every picture I have of her. She never knows where her next dollar is coming from and frankly she doesn't really care. . . . and HELL YES, I'm jealous of her looks and her life and her "everything'll turn out peachy" attitude. I can't even live like that for five minutes without worrying about a bill or a wrinkle or an interest rate or a client.

Maybe when you joyously cruise through life without fretting about the future, assuming without question that the Universe will take care of you, it does just that.

Or maybe stunningly beautiful women who look like party-girl mermaids pretty much get whatever they want and never have to worry about a damn thing. Cynically, I'm leaning toward this explanation.

Wow. It's amazing how one AV can trigger an ocean (pardon the pun) of repressed family angst, huh?

Whatever. I guess if the world didn't have worriers, no one would be around to get the non-worriers out of jail. You owe me about $700 in bail money, Katie.

(Hey, I finally figured out how to get my MacBook Pro to un-grey the shadows options in Rendering. Please don't ask me how because I just pushed buttons and slid things around and changed numbers until it finally worked. Now I just have to work on not blowing out the sky with too much sunlight.)

Katie would never be caught dead in a dress like this Alchemy dress by Bottle Bird. Her style is more "I just grabbed this thing out of a pile of clothes on my floor and threw it on and if it were up to me none of us would be wearing clothes anyway."

I'm digging it though. If you haven't checked out Bottle Bird, you should. I love the trippy vintage vibe and the attention to detail in the clothes there. Check the back:

This dress isn't available anymore, actually. God, I hate it when bloggers do that! All the work at that store is quality, though. Maybe later I'll come back and edit in the designer's actual name — sorry about that. (Update: designer Filthy Adored. Is Filthy a boy's name or a girl's name?)

Anyway. As you can tell, I'm stretching for material here. Bored. And broke. There are a million expos and fairs and what-have-yous this weekend and I can't go to any of them. Lindenless. And bored. I'm so bored that I took my last few lindens and rented a huge parcel of land with a 988 prim allowance for a couple of weeks, took out EVERY SINGLE BOX of not-that-exciting kittens in my inventory and birthed all of them.

Awwwwwwww, yeah! Welcome to Emerald's Ghetto Funland, kids!

There are 64. I didn't give them names - I just numbered all of them. They ran out of food in the middle of the night and I got 64 emails in the morning:

"The object 'KittyCats - 51' has sent you a message from Second Life:
Mewwwwww... I'm 30% hungry :( Please feed me and pay some attention to me... :/"

Sheeeeeesh.

They each get to procreate one time and then they get sent to kitten heaven.

I'm done running my mouth.

VISIT IN WORLD
Bottle Bird
Emerald's Ghetto Funland (visitors welcome!)
[LeLutka]
Le Papillion necklace by A:S:S
Tattoo makeup layer by elegant epiffany (Wait . . . can't find the store anymore. Wha?)
Boots: City Style Boots in Red by Les Petits Details
Skin: Kianna in Smokey by Mynerva. . . . There's some kind of drama going on with Mynerva and they closed the store. COME BACK. We know you wouldn't use ripped templates on purpose! (Shoot, is it OK for me to still wear this skin? I can't live without this skin.)
Pose in second picture by [croire]

Release the kraken.

Awwwwwww yeah!

2011-05-09T06:18:00.000-07:00

If your KittyCats mainly throw Cocos like mine do, just buy a bunch of collars and embrace that sh*t.

There are six more I couldn't fit in the picture.

In which Emerald unleashes her inner bitch and channels Emily Post

2011-05-08T12:35:00.000-07:00

I noticed today that I have 100 followers, and I have to admit I got kind of teary for a few minutes. I realize 100 followers is nothing compared to many SL blogs, but the fact that 100 people occasionally care about anything I have to say, well, it kind of makes up for the fact that in real life I often feel like nobody cares about anything I have to say. [insert the screechy violin here]

(Yeah sorry, I'm in a dark place again. If I grope you on accident, it's only because I'm reaching out blindly in search of the Exit door. I hang on to the words of Winston Churchill: "If you're going through hell, keep going." And I highly recommend the obscure song "Down in a Hole," by James Taylor for those times when you're in the Black too. Drink it up and chase it with some Wellbutrin.)

Anyway, thank you to all of you who read this ridiculous thing. I wish I were a creator so I could create something and give it to everyone as a thank-you gift.

OK, enough with the emo. It's time for a part of the blog I like to call . . .

LET'S GET ALL BITCHY AND PREACHY FOR A SECOND, YAWL!!

As long as we're on the topic of gratitude and creators, please allow me to share some feelings of frustration.

Some time ago — maybe way over a year ago, yikes — blogger Chic Aeon posted some helpful tips for other bloggers. One of them really resonated with me, which was, to paraphrase, "if you blog a creator's work, be sure to drop that creator a friendly note and let that person know it."

So for a while I tried to do that whenever I could. To me, using this blog to communicate just how much I love a dress, furniture, a house, etc., is the best way I can thank that creator for making my SL more fun and beautiful. Telling creators that I blogged their items is simply letting them know that I wrote them a public thank-you note, in case they care to read it. I don't drop these notecards because I expect effusive thank-yous in return from those designers. I don't do it to schmooze. I don't do it in the hopes of getting future review copies. I just do it to express my gratitude.

I will say that about 60 percent of those notecards are ignored (which is why I'm gun shy about doing it now). The classy creators at least IM and acknowledge the fact that they received it. A few write thank-you notes back. It's kind of an interesting "Whose mama raised them right?" test, actually.

A few weeks ago, I exchanged words with a designer that got under my skin so much, maybe the only way I can let it go is to write it down.

She made a dress I loved, so in a previous post I wrote a longer-than-usual paragraph about how much I loved it. Yeah, it was a little bit rambling and got off track for a few sentences and the picture was amateurish, but hey, that's how it is over here. People either like it or run away screaming. Anyway, my RL was hectic at the time, so it wasn't until probably more than a week later that I was able to drop my "Hi, I loved your [item] - just a heads up that I blogged about it [here], etc." note. She IM'ed back, "yeah I read that [post] a while ago thanks."

It felt like a brush-off. And I'm not going to lie — it hurt my feelings. I wasn't expecting a cookie or orgasmic screams of delight or anything, but I was kind of surprised that she read someone raving about her work and apparently just shrugged or whatever. I interpreted her IM as, "yeah whatever — your blog is no big deal." (I'll be the first person to agree with that sentiment, actually.)

So I guess I'm having a difficult time relating to that response — or to any creator, for that matter, who reads a flattering blog post about her or his work and doesn't take two seconds to acknowledge it. If I were a creator who worked hard to make beautiful things, and I stumbled across a blog that was praising it — even if it wasn't one of the big, exciting fashion blogs; even if it was goofy with bad pictures and not to my taste; even if it was written by a person with only two readers — I would express my sincere gratitude to that blogger. Hell, if I didn't have time to IM or write a note, I'd at least write a "thank you!' comment on the post.

Because you know what, Designer Who Doesn't Give a Damn? That person liked your work so much that she/he took the time to put it on, pose with it, take photos — no matter how crappy — and sit down at a keyboard and try to find the right words to tell other people how great it is.

In a blogger's world, that's the equivalent of poring over prims and textures in long, meticulous attempts to get them just right.

I can't even imagine how many SL blogs are out there, so I get that you don't have time to offer lengthy, eloquent and poetic thanks to every blogger who writes about you. But damn, if that blogger even reaches out to you in world and says, "I loved your dress/necklace/etc. so much I wrote about it" and gives you the link, at least have the decency to respond, "Thank you, that means a lot to me." (Especially if you, in fact, "read that a while ago.") That simple phrase works even if you can't stand the blog, cringed at the pictures or thought the post was horrible. Forget the writing — strip that post down to its bare bones: The admiration of your work and the gesture of wanting to share that admiration publicly with others.

Because here's the thing: At the end of the day, it's the little, insignificant people like me — the common folk, the ones who don't get your blogger review packs, the ones who like your work so much they spend precious lindens on it — who are going to keep your business alive. We're the ones who are actually spending the money.

Here's the point I really want to make, though:

Dear Designer Who Doesn't Doesn't Give a Damn,

I blogged your work. I let you know. I wanted you to know that I liked it so much, I gave it my time and I gave it my words, which for me are two of the most precious things I have to give. But you're busy. You're used to the oohs and aahs. You have a shiteload of notecards to read. For whatever reason, you shrugged it off. End of story. That's cool. I never expected you to throw a parade. I wasn't writing for your approval anyway.

But I'll bet you my teeny little linden balance that if I would have blogged your work and ripped on how ridiculous or unsightly it was, that response would have changed from a delayed "yeah I read that a while ago thanks" to an immediate uproar of outrage from not only you, but from other designers and all your friends, screeching about how hard you worked on it and how dare I have the audacity to criticize it. The Plurkers would get all up in that link. Ban lists would get longer. The drama llama would dance a happy dance.

You can't spend a few moments of your time to acknowledge a blogger who likes your work, but I'm pretty sure you'd find the time to start a crusade if that blogger dared to publicly criticize it. I know because I've seen it happen too many times.

**kicks over the soap box and ends rant**

Happy Mother's Day! :D

Having a blast in Lag Land! Wish you were here!

2011-04-30T11:11:00.000-07:00

Maybe I should start trying to make my blog posts shorter, snappier and more pointless.

This is my AV resolutely marching to God only knows where. She got caught up in a lag current and now she's evoking that "HELP I CAN'T STOP WALKING!" reaction from me as I watch helplessly and wait patiently for it to end.

She's still walking as I write this post. I'm sooooooo embarrassed because she marched off my parcel, across a bunch of other parcels, and then through my apparently very romantic neighbors' house.

Wow. I like that Billboard of Love up there. And that swimming pool looks happenin'. Maybe I'll try to make friends with them so they'll invite me over for pool parties. With cocktails!

For the record, I never ever ever ever cam into strangers' houses. I pride myself on that. But unfortunately . . . hold on, I have to check something . . . wow, she's still walking. Usually I crash after WALKING AIMLESSLY IN A STRAIGHT LINE OVER THE OCEAN FOR 15 MINUTES.

Lost my train of thought. Um. Oh yeah. I respect the privacy of my neighbors, but if my SL forces my AV to walk through your ban lines, walls, sexy playrooms, bedrooms, etc., there's absolutely nothing I can do about it except look politely away from my screen.

This couple has set up a big spacious mansion of love and adoration on a giant sim of land zoned for farming. I happen to rent six parcels on it. I AM THE QUEEN. But I guess they don't mind being surrounded by hundreds of breeding horses, cats, dogs, turtles and wow, somebody's still doing the breedable fairy thing! I'm tempted to get back into fairies. But then I'd probably need another damn parcel for them.

Maybe I'll write something that's actually worth reading later. But I finally crashed, which means I can now try to log back in three times before I actually succeed. I like weekends.

This post didn't turn out to be as short and snappy as I planned. Fail.

Posted: April 30, 2011

Duchess of Awesome

2011-04-29T08:00:00.000-07:00

I got an IM in my email from my breedable dodo this morning:

"The object 'Jonathon' has sent you a message from Second Life:
/me is ready to breed"

So am I, Jonathon. Life's a bitch, huh?

I had huge plans for this Kate Middleton-Is-Really-An-Alien cutout, but SL is being all stuttery and I can't move. I got her as far as the edge of my stunningly landscaped farm parcel before we both crashed to a miserable death.

Get your own Kate cutout for 15L on SL Marketplace HERE, CLICK HERE, RIGHT HERE.

I particularly like the description:

"Put some class in your SL experience by putting this in your house or office or at a party, many possiblities."

Many possibilities.

I got up at 5 a.m. Tennessee time to watch the Royal Wedding, only to discover that it must have started around 3 a.m. Oops. Dammit. But WOW, the hats. The Kentucky Derby has NOTHING on the Brits. We really need to step up our hat game.

I searched in my inventory for a fancy hat to get in the spirit of things, but I only have about 8,000 goofy ones, like this I-swear-I-didn't-know-it-was-illegal Hello Kitty Hat from Mad Hattery. Cover your eyes, Sanrio!

That's classy.

Congratulations, Dutchess Catherine! Wait, so, the queen didn't give her the title of Princess? Are we bummed about it? I kind of am. Or at least I'm confused. I'm going to call her Princess Kate anyway. I will also let her share my Duchess of Awesome title. It's more fun than Cambridge. Hopefully that will make her feel even more special.

Some credits should go here, but I crashed. I can tell you that those are Homesick Eyes in London by A:S:S, though. The pose is by Bent and the Shipwrecked Shorts are by A:S:S and both are available at the To Write Love on Her Arms charity event to raise money for depression awareness. Or you can just come on over to my house if you need to raise your depression awareness, seriously.

The cute little shoes that refuse to rez all the way on my *insert a bunch of bad words* computer are Straw Button Flats by Duh! at the Albero Gatcha Fest. You will see them in a future post in all their correctly rendered LOD factored glory, I promise.

And actually, make that "shoe," not "shoes," since one of my feet is sunk in the ground like it's pixel quicksand or something. Dammit.

I'm late for work. Here are the SLURLS I managed to write down before my AV bit the dust:

MAD HATTERY
TO WRITE LOVE ON HER ARMS
ALBERO GATCHA FEST
I'M GOING TO HAVE NIGHTMARES ABOUT THIS KATE MIDDLETON CUTOUT

This is not a blog post about Culture Shock (at least not the kind you think)

2011-04-28T15:57:00.000-07:00

It's a post about this:

I don't like these things. I'm about to tell you why. But maybe you can change my mind. We'll get to that in a minute.

But first, yeah, I've seen so many blog posts about the upcoming Culture Shock event that I feel like I have Culture Shock Blog Post Shock.

So you won't find that here. (Mainly because I didn't get invited to blog it. WHAT?? WHY?? I take the best pictures and write the best fashion posts in Second Life! Ninety-nine people like me! Crushed and confused!)

Kidding. In all seriousness, it sounds like a good cause. I'm glad it's getting a ton of play. Please support it.

Actually, I've been wanting to write about a different kind of culture shock -- at least for me -- for some time now, and that's the culture of child AVs in SL.

I only took one picture for this post, and it's the award-worthy one up top. Even camming in on the back of a child AV in a store made me feel seedy, so much so that I had to borrow the other picture in this post from a friend. So that's why I wanted to talk about it. And I'd like to ask some questions.

This post might offend some people, but those are exactly the people I'm hoping will offer some insights.

Ready? Here we go.

[Unfortunately, this section has now been deleted at the request of someone who does not wish me to share her story, even anonymously. My deepest apologies. To sum it up: I am aware that there are people in SL who are role-playing child abuse scenarios, and it makes me physically ill.]

I realize that in the realm of family role-playing in SL, the violence my friend witnessed that night is deviant behavior and not the norm. I want to assure people that I'm fully aware of this fact.

But that aside, here's some brutal honesty: Child AVs have always creeped me out. The thought of a grown adult sitting in a room somewhere pretending to be a five-year-old disturbs me on a pretty deep level. Add to that the fact that I've seen child AVs -- and stores that cater to them -- increase and become more mainstream during the past year. So apparently the lifestyle is getting more popular, or at least it appears to be. When I first joined SL three years ago, child AVs were sort of taboo. Now they seem to be everywhere.

Photo courtesy of Alicia Chenaux

This one, for example, approached another friend of mine in a public area and asked her to be her mommy. Somewhere out there, an adult was on a computer, dressing an AV like a child and asking another adult to be her mommy.

*shudder*

I don't like them. Or more accurately, my rational mind does not like them. When they approach me in stores and talk to me in baby talk, I usually answer, "Why are you an adult pretending to be a child?" which sends them (literally) skipping away or wailing "Mommmmmmy!" and running to the AV who's playing the parent.

Here's the thing, though, and I'm bolding this statement because it's kind of the cornerstone of this post:

Yes, I'm freaked out by child AVs, but I realize that -- like all prejudices against any different culture, race, lifestyle, religion, etc. -- the roots of my disgust lie in ignorance (as in, a lack of knowledge, not stupidity, although some may beg to differ), misunderstandings and assumptions.

For instance:

1. I don't know anything about the dynamics of this culture (beyond the fact that it seems like it must be mandatory for child AVs to be annoying as hell in public).
2. I can't wrap my mind around the concept because I just don't understand it.
3. I assume that adults who like to pretend to be small children have some serious issues they need to deal with.

I once heard someone say that she's a child in SL because she had an abusive childhood, and SL allows her to experience what it's like to have loving parents, which helps heal the wounds from her past. I just don't know if I can get with that reasoning. Essentially she was saying that she's putting what she considers to be a form of therapy in the hands of strangers online who have no professional training. It concerned me. I wanted to hug her.

In RL, it's my job to do everything I can to ensure the success of the companies and professionals who are my clients. Looking through this business lens, I did think of one reason for becoming a child AV that I'd possibly consider to be legitimate, and that's to provide a paid service to other SL residents. I know people in SL who have gotten married and role-played a pregnancy. For people who want to get that deeply immersed in their SL experience, I can see how the next logical step might be to role-play raising a child together. So, as mercenary as it sounds, I can completely relate to someone who would rent out their services as a child AV as a form of employment. I liken it to being a paid actor.

Beyond that, I can't fathom why anyone would want to live a virtual life as a child. After doing it for a while, it's got to mess with your head, no? I ask because sometimes when I'm spending my lunch hour at my desk at work, I think about horse combinations or create spreadsheets of procreating pixel cats so I can keep track of who's zoomin' who and what their offspring look like. (Yes, that is scary and pathetic, I know.)

I don't like generalizing people, and I don't like it when I realize that I'm judging someone based on appearance or lifestyle. I'm all about peace, love, understanding and laughs, or at least I strive to be. So if you've made it to the conclusion of this post, I leave you with a couple of requests:

1. If you know someone who RPs as a child AV, would you mind asking that person to take a look at this post and shed some light on why he or she does it?

2. I've read some excellent blog posts that do an excellent job of explaining some of SL's other oft-misunderstood subcultures. However, I've never seen a blog post written by someone who talks about the choice to be a child in SL. If you're aware of any, could you please share the link in comments?

I don't have a catchy way to end this post, so I guess I'll just say thanks for reading and have a great night or day or whatever it is when you're reading this.

XO,
Em

Ode to orange

2011-04-24T20:49:00.000-07:00

I'm using a pose from HelaMiyo's Poses Against a Wall pack, but I gave up trying to position my AV against a wall and decided to just look stealthy like this on my farm. Pretend I'm a very talented mime.

I love orange. In RL it agrees with me, as my grandmother would probably put it. I'm partial to it. So this Brig dress by CheerNo Femme makes me a little giddy. As usual, I'm coming in like a late-yet-awesome racehorse to tell you that you still have SEVERAL HOURS to go pick up this dress for 75L. Thank you, Project Themeory! If you miss it, this dress is available in several colors for the full price of 350L.

A few months ago I had a brief conversation with a chick in SL who told me that because of her chemotherapy, the color orange makes her nauseous. However, she was trying to pawn off an orange cat for my teal one, so who knows. I've met a lot of SHYSTERS since I ventured into the wild world of procreating pixels. If that was true though, that really sucks. And in that case, I hope she's not looking at this blog post. :-|

Speaking of cats, KittyCats has once again made me go "Wowsa!" with its spring collection of limited edition Lazy Dayzie cats. A friend gave me this Sunny Day cat as a gift:

I named her "Orange You Glad You Have Friends With Lindens?"

GAWD DAMN SHE'S BEAUTIFUL! I am continuously amazed by the care and detail that goes into these cats. I can't wait for her to start popping out baby Cocos and Flames!

(That's an inside joke — my cats never have exciting babies. They only throw ghettos, as we say in The Ghetto KittyCats Support Group. *ducks while people throw things*)

These cats are 800L each; but if you have my luck and warped determination, you'll spend about 7000L trying to get the color and gender you want. There are four colors of cats (pink, purple, orange and blue), but the color and gender are randomly selected when you buy one. It's like an expensive cat gatcha machine. Each cat comes with a week's worth of food too.

Hey, look at my bracelet:

Collage Bracelet in Zebrawood by Elemental Earth Designs, 99L. Several types of woods are available. It's really cool — it makes me wish I were a much better photographer so you could really get an idea of how unique it is.

I've been wanting to blog about Elemental Earth Designs for a while but I just haven't been feeling up to the task of trying to do it justice. I still don't, actually, but I could hear this jewelry gasping for breath in my To Be Blogged folder so I'm gonna give it a little mouth-to-mouth now. Plus, creator Sirena Penucca held the grand opening of her giant new store this weekend so I wanted to give her some love and attention. I first saw her work at last year's Jewelry Fair and I've kept my eye on her ever since. I love the eclectic, earthy vibe she's got going on.

This Nesting set in Vireo is just darling, and I rarely use that word. It includes a ring, and this color is on sale right now for 75L. Also, if you join the Elemental Earth Designs group, you'll get this set in Pastel for FREE.

Let's look at the vendor picture since my camera exploded when I tried to zoom in on this necklace. It was probably awed by my powerful cleavage.

The eggs have little speckles on them! This set is available in other colors and, um, I might have stretched that pic out a little too wide. oops.

(Hey, I love that new Karen hair, shown here in Driftwood, by Truth, BTW. It made me want to be a ravishing blonde for a while. Or at least for this blog post.)

And if I had an SL boyfriend, I would buy him this Message in a Bottle necklace:

You can put your own personal message in it. Mine would say, "OK, now it's your turn to buy ME jewelry."

I'm such a romantic.

If you celebrate Easter, I hope you and your family had a joyous one today!

VISIT INWORLD
Elemental Earth Designs
CheerNo Femme
HelaMiyo
KittyCats mainstore
Truth
Skin: Mynerva - Kianna in Smokey, with Mynerva tattoo layer lipstick in Soft Coral
Shoes: R.icelli - Sophia in Teal for The Dressing Room

On some wings and a Prayer

2011-04-21T18:56:00.000-07:00

It's rare that a dress inspires me to belt out the song:

"I FEEL PRETTTTTYYY, OH SO PRETTTYYYY! I FEEL PRETTY AND [SOMETHING] AND [WORDS]!"

OK, so I don't really know the lyrics, but I like that first part.

This is one of those burst-of-song-inspiring gowns, and you may have already seen it on other blogs. Sorry. As usual, I'm late. (Gosh, the last time I said that, it was to a rather panicked-looking man. Sigh. Those were the good old days.)

The dress is called Gebet, which means "prayer" in German and HEY, I know some German now! WOOT! The wonderful thing about this gown is that the very generous Saya Littlething has set it out for FREE — along with a gold version — at Schön. But wait! There's a tiny condition. If you take one, instead of paying for it you must donate money — even if it's just a small amount — to a RL charity. If you don't, the bones of your family members will break and all your virtual pets will die. (OK, I made up that last part because it made me laugh.)

I think Saya described the concept beautifully in an accompanying notecard, and I'm going to smooth out the English a little and paraphrase it: "The donation, on an individual basis, may seem small and insignificant. But together, we can all make a powerful impact. Your generosity and kindness will become part of a powerful force that we all create."

Thank you, Saya. I think you have a beautiful spirit. No wonder your work is so beautiful.

Speaking of beautiful, I'm in love, and because of that powerful, powerful love, everything in the world seems beautiful right now. Allow me to introduce the object of my affection:

AWWWWWWW YEAH, BABY!

These dodos make me laugh so hard, I will be devastated if they're not widely embraced on the sometimes cruel and often demanding breedables scene. They are hilarious and I can't even tell you why. They follow me around and get all up in my face, and one of them likes to run up and shove me around my yard. I hope he's playing. Otherwise, he will soon see the inside of my inventory trash can.

My yard looks so damn magical, huh? If you want to set up a tent here, I think I have four prims left in my prim allowance.

I'm still working on a photo that truly captures their awesomeness. But here's the thing about the dodos, kids! They're not going to be mere breedables, although you can certainly go that route if you just want to breed for traits and sell them. They're RACING DODOS! As we speak, their creators are making dodo racing tracks, and those of us who race them — and hell yeah, I'm gonna be one of them — will be breeding for SPEED more than looks. (Although I really want a pink one.)

I imagine the sight of these dodos running around a track is going to have me rolling on the floor, clutching my stomach and dying of laughter.

These are beta test dodos. And those are nests of food on the ground, not dodo droppings. I will probably cry when they eventually go to Beta Test Heaven. I've gotten attached to them.

If you want to get in on this action, the beta test group is open, I think. Go HERE and click the Beta Test sign, or just look for the group Living Inc in my profile. When you join, look in notices and you'll see the list of places where you can pick up your beta pack of four eggs.

Read more about the dodos — and watch videos! — on the Living Inc Website.

And then there are these damn things:

I'm pretty sure people are going to gather outside my house with flaming pitchforks once I say this, but I'm just not feeling them at the moment.

Stream-of-conscious WTF moment. Ready, set, go:

I don't really understand what the hell I'm supposed to do with them and I'm coming into this beta testing during the second wave so the whole thing just seems friggin' confusing. All I can figure out is I have to wear this HUD that looks like a book with stuff on every page, including an "Oracle" page and GOD HELP ME when I click it because a mystical woman will quiz me about obscure song lyrics of songs I haven't heard in decades. If I answer the questions right, I get "regard points" and apparently enough of those will make me kind of special, but the disconnect between knowing the lyrics to ABBA songs and taking care of fake animals is really throwing me off. I'm supposed to pet them every day to keep them happy. I'm also supposed to join a fellowship of other Meeros owners so we can all pet each others' Meeros or something and just hearing the word "fellowship" makes me think of the gawd-awful Christian summer camps I had to go to when I was a kid so no no no no. My anti-social inner child is screaming, "NO!" There's a control panel disguised as a stump and a bowl of berries they eat and occasionally pieces of broken pipes or apple cores that I have to find for more regard points and meanwhile the damn things are running around and . . . well, just kind of looking cute. Sometimes I'll get a message "Meeroo No. 1888543 (I haven't named them) wants you to cuddle him" or something like that, and it looks like this:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's adorable.

I should probably go back and read the Website, because there's kind of a lengthy "Legend of the Meeros," which might explain why I have to know the lyrics to the song "American Pie," as well as detailed explanations and instructions and a great explanatory blog, which I skimmed and am now realizing I should have studied instead.

On first impression, I would say these things are for people who are looking for more of an interactive social experience that involves games and riddles and lore and stuff. I do want to point out that the majority of the people I know who are testing them are absolutely nuts about them. As for me, I'm just not sure. Before I got a chance to see them in action, I preordered a 5100L family pack, which I might try to pawn off on one of you for half price if it's trans. After hanging out with them for a few days, I just don't think I'll have the time and energy to devote to them.

Or who knows? Maybe I'll warm up to them.

But I'll probably stick to the racing dodos.

THE LINKS YOU NEED
Schön
Join the Dodos Beta Testing Group Here
Living Inc (Dodos) Website
The Wonderful World of Meeros Website
A great article about the Meeros in the March edition of BOSL magazine

You shut your filthy, squeaky mouths!

2011-04-16T16:48:00.000-07:00

I'm in kind of a bad mood today. I just got back from a kick-ass week in Jamaica, so I guess you could call it the post-vacation blues. It's freezing here. I don't wanna go back to work. Wah.

So let's take it out on some total strangers!

Here's one of my few blog rules: If you irritate me or act like a complete douche in public, you get a first-class ticket to Blog Fodder City, baby. I could really use some now too. I'm in a rut.

Ready? Here we go.

Sometimes when I need to feel better, I go to creator Elizabeth Tinsley's store Frippery. I love her work. There's a lot of power packed in its delicate construction and it always lends fuel to the imagination. What's more, the main store is located on my favorite place in SL, the stunningly scenic and lovingly designed Wanderstill at Ode. Check it out, and please ignore the fact that my shirt didn't rez:

The Language of Light set (400L) by Frippery, also includes an awesome ring, not shown. Skin: Fae Fling (375L), in the RFL vendor at Sanu. Anything that Sanura Sakai creates also goes on my list of Things That Make Me Giddy. That hair is the new Denise style by Truth in Granny.

When you get to Frippery, you're greeted with this welcome message:

~*~Welcome to Wanderstill~*~: You have found your way to a tiny cottage in the middle of a wild meadow. This is the home of Frippery, a jewelry shop for imaginative minds. You are warmly welcome. Come in, make yourself comfortable, peruse the baubles, take a gift, and leave a message.

So I'm feeling all magical and imaginative and warmly welcomed when suddenly a latex Creamsicle and friend come along and start bugging the bejeezus out of me with sexy talk. I'm not a prude, but I also hate listening to a-holes attempting to be edgy by talking about pixel sex in open chat.

Yep, I'm gonna show pictures and name names and post the chat. Hey, if you say it in public, it's up for grabs, hipsters. Sorry. :)

See how beautiful it is there? *shudders at the thought of pixel spooge all over the wildflowers*

And we'll talk about that kilt in a second.

The conversation starts on a high note and quickly descends to the depths of you-just-made-me-throw-up-in-my-mouth.

[12:14] Jenny Utherwurldly-Patton: I certainly would reject her if she asked, but I'm not going to ask her myself now. It feels too soon. [Wha? I think she meant to say "wouldn't."]
[12:14] Angus Vesta: if she's totally aware of how you feel, you wont have to wait long, or ask yourself
[12:15] Jenny Utherwurldly-Patton: I can hope.
[12:15] Jenny Utherwurldly-Patton: She knows that I love her.
[12:17] Angus Vesta: I bet you can dream, and I bet they're rather damp

That's when I rolled my eyes and TP'ed to the other Frippery location. Then I TP'ed back when I realized it had changed to a satellite store. Confusing. Forget that. Read this instead, "And then I left for a second and came back."

[12:19] Jenny Utherwurldly-Patton: If you can reach the dirty parts.
[12:21] Angus Vesta: Angus Vesta can reach
[12:21] Angus Vesta: I can reach mine... and yours
[12:21] Angus Vesta: if need be

You know what, Jenny? Nobody's gonna be able to reach anything in that squeaky citrus body condom you're wearing. Although I'm going to give her credit for a) awesome color coordination and b) high latex standards. Yes, I'll admit it: I can tell the different between quality pixel latex and the cheap stuff.

*slaps that shiny rump*

[12:21] Jenny Utherwurldly-Patton: Even when it's extremely tight on the inside?
[12:22] Angus Vesta: more of a challange, but one I'm more than up for
[12:25] Jenny Utherwurldly-Patton: That only seems to happen when my girlfriend is around
[12:26] Jenny Utherwurldly-Patton: Well, yes.

You guys are making me so hot that I need to take a break and talk about fashion for a second. Men's fashion, to be exact:

No.

Just give it up, Angus. Why wear a leather kilt or a man-skirt or whatever it's called when your ass is going to be sticking out of it the whole time? Not hot. I sympathize — an AO can be kind of a bitch when wearing a sculpted skirt. Get a skirt shape.

I tried desperately to swing around to the front to see if he was wearing a pixel penis or proudly displaying his Ken Doll bulge, but my camera wasn't cooperating.

[12:26] Jenny Utherwurldly-Patton: If only my girlfriend weren't completely turned off by WAM.
[12:29] Angus Vesta: Yeah, u ned to fix that
[12:29] Jenny Utherwurldly-Patton: Yes.
(I'm assuming Angus goes into private chat to get really down and dirty here.)
[12:30] Jenny Utherwurldly-Patton: Yes.
[12:30] Jenny Utherwurldly-Patton: I can be content with no WAM as long as there's bondage.
[12:31] Jenny Utherwurldly-Patton: Not that I know of.
[12:32] Jenny Utherwurldly-Patton: I don't know. All I said is that I didn't want to force her to do anything that she didn't want to do.

I confess, I had to look up WAM in urbandictionary.com. It stands for Wet and Messy sex. "This can be either food, such as eggs, chocolate sauce, pancake batter, truffle oil, etc. Or a non-food delight like mud, sweet crude oil, plaster and the like."

Obviously I'm not getting any of that these days or maybe I'd know what it was. Regardless, you'd better get with the program, Jenny's Girlfriend. You're not completely satisfying Jenny in bed. Thank God you're at least into bondage. I wonder which Wet they're talking about. Probably orange juice.

OK, get ready for it . . .

[12:34] Jenny Utherwurldly-Patton: I can do without it. I've been more turned on by BDSM than WAM lately anyway.
[12:35] Jenny Utherwurldly-Patton: Probably.
[12:35] Emerald Wynn: Would you two please take it to private IM or an adult sim please? For God's sake. You're killing my blissful Ode buzz. Ugh.
[12:38] Angus Vesta: get yourself a outlet, before you explode
[12:38] Jenny Utherwurldly-Patton: Ugh.

Oh, I've got *an* outlet, Angus. WELCOME! Make yourself at home! Grab yourself a grammar book while you're here. How 'bout third-grade level?

Then they ignored me. I get no respect these days, even when I throw in a "for God's sake."

[12:39] Angus Vesta: You're more than a little tense, it's fair to say
[12:40] Jenny Utherwurldly-Patton: I'm too depressed to be tense.
[12:40] Angus Vesta: ffs, little drama dolly....
[12:40] Angus Vesta: snap out of it, lol, don't make me hump your leg again
[12:40] Jenny Utherwurldly-Patton: You're not my girlfriend. It's not the same.
[12:41] Angus Vesta: after a period of time, a humping is a humping...
[12:41] Jenny Utherwurldly-Patton: Maybe for you.
[12:42] Angus Vesta: hey, I'm fussy too...
[12:42] Teleport completed from Ode (220,222,78)

I couldn't take it anymore.

"After a period of time, a humping is a humping." Don't forget that, kids. Wise sex advice from a man named after a type of cow.

Watch out, Jenny's GF. He's humping her leg! They're gettin' all squeaky and sh*t behind your back!

VISIT IN WORLD
Frippery
Sanu
Truth
Eyes by Re.Birth (Lilacs, Electric)
Love is a Phoenix wing(s) by Hoot — no longer available, but everything else at that store is cool too

Save the Japanimals! (OK that's not a word.)

2011-04-02T22:06:00.000-07:00

I went a little wild at Project FUR Japan today, pardon the pun. It's officially open to the public now, but they let bloggers in early if we asked nicely.

Proceeds from sales at Project FUR Japan go to Japan Earthquake Animal Relief and Support. Wait, that doesn't look right. Let me fact-check that . . . [long pause] . . . OK, actually it's Japan Earthquake Animal RESCUE and Support. Damn, I was so close!

Cool stuff. Mediocre pictures. Lookin' sassy. Let's hit it!

Cute Panda Tee, 100L, by Sassy Kitty Designs. Sometimes I think Sassy Kitty Designs doesn't get enough credit for bringing the awesome. *makes a note to give them more blog love in the future*

Brooke dress in Chocolate, 315L, by Elate. I'm on a quest now to find this dress in real life. Pardon my brief lapse in modesty, but I would look awesome in it. It's exactly the kind of thing I'd wear on the rare occasion when I'm in the mood to flirt with the cute single lawyer who works on Floor 11 of my office building. Someday he will be mine. Anyway, the swingy skirt shows off the legs, which are my favorite feature in RL, and the belt accentuates the waist. All I need is a Victoria's Secret Miraculous push-up bra under the sexy — yet classy! — sleeveless shirt and a couple of slathers of self-tanner and I'd be hot to trot, baby!

Shoot, I was totally getting excited there for a minute, and then the harsh reality that NONE OF THIS IS REAL came crashing down around me. Dammit. Dammit to hell.

Speaking of hotties, let's pause for a vendor picture:

Thank you, ASKA.

Um, OK back to me.

I couldn't love this necklace more:

Ling Ling, 100L, by LOULOU & Co.

The problem with taking close-up pics of necklaces is that you can totally see my fitting fail. Even with scripted resizers, I still suck at it.

And now for the moment you've all been waiting for: a big damn picture of my face. Eyes, to be exact:

Fishy! Hell yeah. Koi Eyes, 12L, by Abundantia. YES! You read that right! Twelve lindens!

That's my skin of choice these days, BTW — Kianna in Smokey by Mynerva.

Now we need some kicky shoes and an equally kicky bag.

Rose di Tela shoes and purse set, 180L, by Pelletteria Morrisey.

Woo those cankles are sexy!

The hair I'm never taking off is Carina in Burgundy by Truth. He released it a couple of weeks ago, I think. Or maybe it was last week. It all blends into one long hellish day, frankly. It's my favorite hair of all time. ALL TIME, I say!

I have a migraine. I'm going to stop staring at this computer screen and stare at my TV screen for a while. Maybe I'll finally watch the movie, "Black Swan."

Everything except the hair and skin is available at Project FUR Japan, which I believe is open for three weeks.

HELP THE JAPANIMALS!
Project FUR Japan marketplace
Project FUR Japan blog

We could all use a little Hope

2011-04-02T12:29:00.000-07:00

This is my cat Aisuru:

It just dawned on me that any time I have any kind of a blatantly or vaguely Japanese animal ("blatantly Japanese!"), I name it Aisuru.

That's how much I love you, Aisuru.

I'm so happy to be the only one on the planet blogging about these cats. They are awesome. Join me for a minute as I honor my Southern roots with some redneck talk:

"Go get you one of them thangs for 1000L at the Project FUR Japan sim."

They look kind of doubtful and disapproving of my distinguished Southern drawl.

The Project FUR Japan sim opens at 9 p.m. SLT today (April 2), but I will make a drug run for you and go buy you one of these cats early for a mere dealer fee of 500L.

KIDDING, KIDDING, I'M JUST KIDDING!

(Everyone watches and laughs as Emerald gets her blogger tag get taken away.)

This Kibo Neko - Hope Cat is a special limited-edition fund-raiser KittyCatS cat for sale at Project FUR for 1000L. Proceeds go to the group Japan Earthquake Animal Rescue and Support, which is awesome because Japanese animals need help right now too. I like animals way better than people these days. Sorry, people.

Breeders, please don't buy this cat and think it's going to pass along some kind of special traits. Think of it as a starter cat with paint on it. I keep hearing people get all mad and confused because their similarly limited-edition Valentine's Day cats or Leprecats aren't doing anything magical. They're not supposed to. It's just a starter cat wearing a fancy coat for a special occasion. Live in the moment and bask in its glory!

KittyCatS also will be selling another limited-edition cat, Yuki Neko - Courage, at its main store. All cats are sold as a single kitten, random gender, with enough food for a week.

Sometimes when a blog post starts sounding like a lecture or a book report, I just stop talking.

Don't forget to pick up a mustache pet bed by Intrigue while you're there. (Set of three, 100L)

GET THEE TO THE SIM
Project FUR Japan
Project FUR Blog
KittyCatS Main Store

Stop looking at me like that.

We don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time

2011-03-30T05:52:00.000-07:00

It's been a while since something in Second Life has made me go, "WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO! WEEEEEEEEE!" in real life:

This thing did though.

Origami Bird, 100L, at the Help Japan market. Four people can fly in it!

In other news, I'm still crashing about every six minutes. I've tried doing a complete uninstall and reinstall, switched a beta viewer for the actual viewer and then switched them back, cleared my cache, etc., etc. I ran a diagnostic utility and noticed that every time SL crashes, my computer prints a "Cannot find executable for SLPlugin [blah blah blah blah blah complicated computer stuff]" message in its crash log thingy.

I'm premium, baby, so I did something I always dread and started a support chat session with SL support. The conversation went something like this:

SL Support: Hi, I'm helping several residents so it may take time for me to respond, OK? How can I help you?
Emerald: Well, I'm crashing on an average of once every six minutes. I've done a complete uninstall and reinstalled the viewer. I ran a diagnostic utility and I keep getting a message about a missing SLPlugin right before I crash though. It says, "Cannot find executable for SLPlugin [blah blah blah complicated computer stuff]."
SL Support: Did you try clearing your cache?
Emerald: Yes - I not only cleared it, but I deleted the whole application and reinstalled it.
SL Support: Did you try rebuilding your avatar?
Emerald: Rebuilding my avatar?
SL Support: Please watch this video — [insert link to an old Torley Linden tutorial] — and rebuild your avatar. Then clear your cache. Then restart your computer. Sometimes that helps crashing.
Emerald: Is that going to turn me back into a noob avatar? The one in that ugly pink polka dot dress?
SL Support: Yes but it helps crashing.
Emerald: Well, OK, but my computer told me what the problem is — it's freezing up when it can't find an SL plugin called [long complicated name].
SL Support: What?
Emerald: I ran diagnostics, and every time I crash, I get the message "Cannot find executable for SLPlugin [blah blah blah more complicated words go here]."
SL Support: Oh it sounds like you have a plug-in problem.
*Emerald screams in frustration*
Emerald: Yes, I said that at the beginning of this conversation.
SL Support: You'll have to file a ticket. Can I help you with anything else?
Emerald: No. Thank you. (This has been the most helpful conversation of my entire life. It has totally been worth the $90 USD a year or whatever the hell I'm paying — not to mention a couple hundred dollars in land tier a month — to basically log into a virtual world and crash out of it every six minutes. Thank you for reading my chat so carefully. Thank you for taking the time to put down your little plastic laminated card — the one that probably tells you to tell every single resident to clear his or her cache and restart the computer — and give my problem your undivided expert techie attention. Thank you for acknowledging the fact that I even dug out a "run this when you have computer problems" utility and went to all the trouble to copy a diagnostics log so you would have all the information you might need to help me. Thank you for existing. Thank you. Sorry. I'm bitchy today. But thank you.)

I would leave forever if I weren't responsible for the fake lives of hundreds of procreating pixels.

VISIT IN WORLD
Help Japan

Back to the gypsy that I was (cue Stevie Nicks)

2011-03-27T16:53:00.000-07:00

I have a RL friend named Ed who lives in this weird little town in Florida and is always doing fittingly weird things. He tried Second Life for about 15 minutes and left when he couldn't find a fat enough male AV in an adult-sized diaper. Why he wanted to spend his virtual existence that way, I have no idea, but that's my friend Ed for you.

Anyway, one day he got it into his head to build a gypsy vardo, complete with electricity and a bed. It was like an epic quest for him — trying to find just the right parts and just the right shades of paint. He blogged the whole process and it was, hands down, one of the most awesome feats I think I've ever seen. When the thing was finished, it was freakin' MAGNIFICENT. What killed me the most was Ed's "Now what the hell do I do with this thing?" attitude afterward. The joy was all in the building of it for him. I suggested he sell it on eBay, so he did — and people went wild over it. The bidding was off the charts. The people who didn't win it contacted him and begged him to build them custom versions of their own.

Now he's living happily ever after, building vardos for people who secretly long to be gypsies. Weird how one day he had a whimsical idea, grabbed it with a death grip and joyously ran with it and it changed his whole life. (Or at least until he gets his next wild idea.)

I think this La Roulotte gypsy wagon by Belle Belle would meet and quite possibly exceed Ed's very, very high vardo standards. It is beyond awesome and, as usual, evokes an "ARE YOU KIDDING ME, BELLE BELLE???" because it's only $150 this weekend for Spruce Up Your Space (SUYS).

I am continually blown away by the generosity of the creators who participate in Spruce Up Your Space. The majority of them knock the monthly theme way the hell out of the ballpark and then gift us with their creative fruits — YES, I said "creative fruits" — for a mere $150.

Hell, this little garden table with tea and cookies would cost that alone in ordinary circumstances:

COOKIES!!!

Cheeeeeeezus, I want some of whatever Belle Belle Creator Leyla Firefly's on. The woman is a machine. The 435-prim wagon is packed with details — note the crystal ball and the dream catcher in the interior shot up top — and even includes a working old-time radio. I think. At least it has a menu and looks like it works. But nothing really ever works in the land of Emerald's Second Life Sucks Right Now. So who knows?

For pictures of all the SUYS items, along with pics of items in many other sales events, check out the blog The Circadian. I just discovered it, and now it's another one of those "how did I live without it?" blogs in my book.

Subject change:

"Hey, aren't you that blogger who blogs about eyes?"

That was my goal when I started this blog, but I never really rose to fame as one of SL's premier and leading eye bloggers. Occasionally I do feel the urge to share the eye joy, though. So before I sign off, check out these special-edition Japan eyes by Banana Banshee, available at the Pacific Crisis Fundraiser market.

Japan - Nori, 100L. Joy joy joy joy joy joy joy! Each of these pairs also includes prim eyes and an alpha layer for them if that's how you roll.

This next pair is my favorite. Pretend I don't look possessed in this picture:

Japan - Fuji, 100L. (Skin: Kianna, Smokey by Mynerva with a Mynerva lipstick tattoo layer in Coral.)

Japan - Dragon, 100L. Banana Banshee's Rosemarie Indigo officially goes on my list of Creators Who Are Beyond Awesome. She is right up there with A:S:S creator Photos Nikowhatshisnameos as a ruler of the magical realm of rockin' eyes.

(Getting punchy. I think my Sunday-evening "QUICK - must numb the pain of my looming currently hellish job tomorrow" Xanax dose is kicking in.)

Vendor pic:

Some or all of the proceeds from sales at the Pacific Crisis Fundraiser market go to AmeriCares to aid Japan relief efforts. I'll try to show more items in future blog posts, although I never know when my laptop is going to blow up or if I'm gonna get sent on a surprise weeklong business trip to some place like Oklahoma or if SL is going to start acting like a little bitch. Let's keep our fingers crossed. *frustrated face*

VISIT IN WORLD
Belle Belle
Pacific Crisis Fundraiser, runs through April 10
Banana Banshee at Pacific Crisis Fundraiser

A vardo Ed made for a pickup truck bed.

Posted March 27, 2011

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse . . .

2011-03-21T22:49:00.000-07:00

So, I haven't been blogging much lately because I've had this weird black thing sticking out of my head:

That's attractive.

Oh yeah, and only a few textures on my body will rez at a time. That's why I didn't blog anything cool for St. Patrick's Day — like this Shamrock Dress from A Touch of Ireland.

So, back to the black curse. Here's what it looks like on a ranch:

FML

Speaking of my ranch:

"Dear Person With That Big Damn Shiny Silver House in the Background,

"When you rented that parcel, did you not read the sim rules? The ones that said, 'This land is zoned for farming and breeding. Please make sure all buildings, structures and landscaping match the farming theme'? Because that doesn't look like a barn to me, baby. I even scooted a silver horse over there and it's still not working out.

"Bottom line: Your hipster house is jacking with my cowgirl vibe and screwing up my farmlike pictures. Please GET IT THE HELL AWAY FROM ME.

"Love, Your Neighhhhhh-bor,
"Emerald 'Hey, Lookit This Black Thing Sticking Out of My Head' Wynn"

And now, back to the tumor.

I detached everything, ran around naked for a while, switched shapes, cried, tried wearing giant hats, rebaked, restarted, prayed, switched eyes, cursed . . . nothing worked. It was dismal. I had pretty much resigned myself to being "That Chick with that Creepy Black Thing Sticking Out of Her Head," when I got the bright idea to completely uninstall SL and reinstall a Beta version.

IT WORKED! IT WORKED!

As long as we're on the subject of BLECH, here's what you look like on my viewer when you're wearing those ass-crack jeans:

Walking around with your legs spread and your butt hanging out — and I think your tattoo layer is on top of your clothes — what would your MOTHER say? Plus, all you need now is a facelight shoved down there (see previous post) and you could be Casper the Friendly Ass for Halloween.

The Ambien thought that last comment was hilarious.

Anyway, I was so excited to get my normal head back that I put on this giant Siren hair by Shag and a face tattoo that should probably be in an inventory folder called, "These Face Tattoos are the New Bling." OK, so it's a little gaudy. Who cares? Look at the EYES!!!!

My sexy friend Photos Niko-I-always-screw-up-his-last-name-o of A:S:S made me these Super Exclusive Emerald Rezday Eyes for my rez day!! It made me get a little teary! He also included awesome bling reflex prims to remind me of the good old days when I joined SL three years ago. I tried to get them blinging in the picture but the flashes are tiny and small so I gave up. He offered to make them bigger. I coughed politely and said no.

I need to talk about Fashion For Life for a second.

Today (3/22) is the last day of Fashion For Life — you have all day and all night to check out the beautiful creations that some of SL's most talented designers are selling to raise money for cancer research. I had picked out 12 outfits to blog to promote this event. But then my MacBook Pro started making these horrible sounds like a rickety airplane trying to take off. And then it got hot. REAL hot, as in, I could fry an egg on this thing, I swear. AND THEN my boss told me I had to spend a week in Oklahoma. So that's where I am now, halfway to Oklahoma. Add to all that a jaggedy black thing sticking out of my head and making me feel depressed and ashamed and you've got total blog fail.

I can show you one dress now though. It's not my usual style and catapulted me way the hell out of my comfort zone . . . and then I realized that's what good fashion should do: Inspire us to want to see ourselves in new ways.

Svara Wrap Dress (wrap version) in Nude (350L) by Zaara. If that's too much skin for you, a more modest version is included. (Shoes by Pixel Mode; jewelry by League; and I forgot to write down the name of this cool pose. If it's yours, please let me know so I can credit it.)

I think it's sexy as hell. The only thing that made me feel a little unsettled was the back:

Wooooo! I'm not used to showing that much cheek! ("Hey, that's not farming attire!")

GET WRAPPED:
Zaara is on the Fashion for Life Mapplethorpe sim
Read the Fashion for Life blog HERE

Hey, I have a new blog!

2011-03-20T19:10:00.000-07:00

Random FYI: If you're wearing a facelight, here's what you look like on my viewer:

HELP, IT'S A GHOST!

Um, OK now that I have your attention, please check out these gorgeous Sakura Blossom horses that Amaretto Breedables is selling to raise money for Japan relief efforts. Did you know you don't have to be a crazed Amaretto breeder to enjoy a beautiful Amaretto horse? There's an option to set them to "Pet" mode. Yes, you still have to feed them, but it's not as expensive.

Lookie:

MY GOD, THEY'RE AWESOME!

Each horse is 1111L (for March 11, 2011, when the tragedy struck Japan), and all proceeds go to AmeriCares, a nonprofit disaster relief and humanitarian aid organization which provides immediate response to emergency medical needs around the world.

There's a black version and a white version of the Sakura Blossoms horse, along with either Passion Pink Sakura or Life Green Sakura eyes, and unfortunately you don't get to choose what you get: Each box is a random buy. I know people who have bought something like 12 boxes just trying to get a specific gender, color and eye. Dayum. At least it's for a good cause!

They come with giant pieces of sushi. You think I'm pulling your leg right now, but I'm not. To see more pics and SLURLs for buying them, you're going to have to visit MY NEW BLOG!

Yes, I started another blog, mainly to spare people who read this one from too much breedable babbling. It's called "WTF Breedables?" and naw, it's not replacing this one. Well, it might see a little more action for a while simply because all I seem to do these days in SL is sit around and wait for various animals to have sexy time.

It's still a work in progress. And now I can go back to devoting this one to . . . well, rambling about other stupid things.

Read it here:

WTF Breedables?

Happy Rez Day to Meeeeeeeeeeeeee!

2011-03-16T07:05:00.000-07:00

WOO HOO! It's my rez day! I almost totally forgot about it this year! Shower me with love and fake horse food! And cat food! And dog food!

Here's what my AV looked like when I left Orientation Island three years ago today:

BAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I designed that hair myself. And I thought the Janet Jackson-esque headset was a reallllllllllly nice touch.

Trying to assemble an AV back then was a horrendous experience. Choices were limited and I didn't know what the hell I was doing. I can't believe I survived that ordeal and stayed. I was actually really happy with that AV. As soon as I finished putting the finishing tweaks on that awesome, awesome hair (I think that bush behind my head has the exact same texture), I went straight to a virtual pub in Dublin. I thought it was SO UNBELIEVABLY COOL!

It took a guy to finally say to me, "Um, can we give your AV a makeover?" Until then, I lived in sweet, sweet oblivion.

Shoot, I have to go to work. Later tonight I might give my AV a modern interpretation of my look on Day 1. I meant to do it for this post RIGHT HERE but I was too tired to get up in a timely manner this morning.

Have an awesome day today. Do it for me!

Posted: March 16, 2011

Fashion for Life - Ready? Set? GO!

2011-03-14T00:58:00.000-07:00

Blogging the Fashion for Life fundraiser fashions is particularly important to me. About five years ago, a doctor removed a layer of cancerous cells from my cervix. It was skeery. In fact, that whole terrifying "is this really happening to me and why??" experience reduced me to a whimpering "I want my mommy" mess for a while.

It was a frightening wakeup call, and I'm blessed that we caught it before it progressed any further. Many people aren't as fortunate, however, and I feel like my little brush with The Big C is nothing compared to the valiant battles so many cancer patients fight every day.

So let's buy some clothes and raise some money, shall we? Almost everything blogged during the next few posts is an FFL donation vendor item. A portion of the proceeds (varies per designer) goes to the American Cancer Society. (See my previous post for details.)

Mashooka:

Nene dress, 300L (UPDATE: It's "Nene," not "Nine," which would have been kind of awesome, actually. Blame the Ambien for that typo, please. Thanks!)

Why hello, Mashooka! I've missed you!

I love this color combination. It's like someone wrapped me up in a gorgeous sunset. If the black lace on the chest bothers you, never fear: It's an optional undershirt layer. You can skip it and highlight your decolletage with striking jewelry instead. But keep it simple, kids! You don't want to detract from the gloriousness of the dress. It looks beautiful in motion.

I planned to include a photo of the bare-necked look RIGHT HERE as a matter of fact, but I'm crashing on an average of once every seven minutes in SL these days. I'm not exaggerating.

So we'll have to settle for this one:

The Aesha earrings in gold are part of the fatpack that is Aleida's very generous FFL Hunt Prize. You're looking for little Fashion For Life boxes. If you find Likka House, please let me know. In fact, I need to say it again:

IF YOU FIND THE LIKKA HOUSE HUNT GIFT, PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

Sorry.

I'm wearing A:S:S' new Tears in Your Eyes eyes in Amber. They include the tear tattoo, shown on my face, and tear-effect prims. A single pair is 50L; the fatpack of 12 colors is 500L. I really love them. (They're a review item and available in store, not at FFL)

That Siren hair from Shag (shown in Toffee) is so damn FABULOUS I can hardly stand it. It's currently at the Chic Limited event, 225L for a pack of six shades.

Now let's talk about shoes.

Last month, a girl in a group chat asked if anyone knew where she could get some "free or really cheap" cool shoes.

I said, "Duh!"

She said, "OMG YOU'RE SUCH A BITCH EXCUSE ME FOR BEING NEW HERE YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW ME."

Oops! To this day, I die laughing whenever I think of that little misunderstanding. I gasped and laughed so hard I cried when it happened. Don't yell at me in run-on sentences in all-caps because it's only gonna make me laugh. You'd do better with sharp, cutting sentences with several syllables and perfect punctuation and grammar. THAT would cut me to the core.

Those Silk Floral Booties in Rose are 40L and, along with the same booties in silver, are Duh!'s FFL vendor donation items. Creator Renee Harvy has several other adorable items in her booth. If I can ever log on long enough to move two steps, I'll probably color some more of them.

And now if you'll excuse me, I need to uninstall and reinstall SL on my computer, so I can stay inworld for longer than four minutes at a time.

The SLURLs YOU NEED TO MAKE YOUR LIFE COMPLETE:
Mashooka is on the Mapplethorpe sim at Fashion for Life
Aleida at FFL
Chic Limited
A:S:S
Duh! at FFL
Fashion for Life blog, with maps, lists of participating designers, and pics of the sims and the featured fashions there
Poses by estetica

Winning!

2011-03-12T17:42:00.000-08:00

Lotta stuff to blog. Many posts to write. Let's hit it!

Hell yeah you're winning, Charlie Sheen — you're smashed between my boobs. There's no better place to be, baby. Unless it's smashed between my thighs.

(Wow! That was a little racy!)

Before the sobering effects of the recent devastation in Japan, I was — like much of the world — almost obsessively watching the trainwreck that is Charlie Sheen in morbid fascination. But my slightly amused "oh wow, no he didn't!" attitude quickly turned to flat-out concern and then eventually guilt, like I was part of a huge mob watching a guy on a ledge and egging him on to jump.

Now I'm over it. Sort of. I love the way we bring current events into SL and give them a voice, whether it be a collective shout of support for causes such as funding cancer research and aiding victims of natural disasters, or expressions of sorrow and tribute through our creations when an idol like Michael Jackson dies, or even just poking fun of complete doooooshes like Charlie Sheen.

I can trace recent RL history and pop culture milestones through the items in my inventory — the creative fruits of our Haiti fundraising efforts are in one folder, commemorative items from a 9/11 memorial service are in another, leftovers from my SL celebrations of my RL birthday live there, and there's a place for every holiday each year. Someday I'll look back on Second Life and see it in its entirety as a virtual journal of sorts. It started out as just killing time on a virtual playground and quickly evolved into a creative interpretation of the thoughts, emotions and events of my real life, and a place where I can capture moments in time and save them in folders.

That's why my inventory is so massive. (Yeah . . . that's it.)

That was a really long way of saying, "Hey, look at this funny Charlie Sheen T-shirt (40L, also includes a tank version) from terri.tees and these rockin' Tiger Sheen pants in Coal (150L) from LuNi."

Can we pause for a moment and also laugh at this "We're all very impressed with your slave. Now go away." T-shirt (40L) at terri.tees? No offense, people with slaves. I know it's a turn-on for some people, but I don't like hearing the whole "yes, Master" thing when I'm trying to shop. Or weaving my way around kneeling naked women in chains when I'm looking at shoes.

Um, getting back to the subject of causes and current events, Fashion for Life starts today. You read it first here! (That was a joke.) Running March 12-22 across nine sims, this annual fundraiser for the American Cancer Society has the theme Beyond Black and White this year, symbolizing hope rising out of the dark diagnosis of cancer. More posts to follow, but for now check out these Pearl Cancer Awareness Ribbon earrings by Peeps Fashion. They're included with a matching necklace in Peeps' 99L gatcha machine. Designer JennyLynn Capalini created sets in 18 colors, each symbolizing support for the victims and survivors of a particular type of cancer. As with all gatchas, you get a random set with each try.

Lavender is the color of general cancer awareness. To see the list of colors and the cancer awareness they symbolize, check out this Cancer Awareness Ribbon Color Chart. If anyone happens to get an extra teal-and-white ribbon set, which stands for cervical cancer awareness, please let me know, as it's a cause that's near and dear to my heart. Fortunately, my doctor caught my cervical cancer in its early stages and together we kicked its ass. I still live in occasional fear that it'll return, though. And right now someone I love is deeply affected by it. So yeah, I'd like that ribbon if anyone has a set to spare.

And while we're looking at that really big picture of my face, those Limited-Edition Fashion for Life Eyes in Emerald (200L) are one of Poetic Colors' RFL vendor items there.

These paragraphs are getting a little wordy. Let's switch to some quickies and get some of these pics out of my "To be blogged" folder.

NICE THINGS AND WEIRD LITTLE MIRACLES

I'm sure you've seen references to this bear when you log in, but there's a special Relief Linden Bear on SL Marketplace now, available in sitting and holding versions (apparently it floats, too!), for a donation of 300L, 1000L or 3000L. Proceeds go to the Japan Earthquake and Pacific Tsunami Relief Efforts of the American Red Cross. As you probably know, Linden Bears are collectible, so this is a great way to add to your collection while supporting a worthy cause. And once again, we put a little piece of history in our inventory.

Next.

If you've been following this blog, you know that I've been on a quest for a young, charmed Amaretto Breedables unicorn with many babies in its future. Well, the other day two of my not-that-exciting horses — Mysti, the no-trait Grey Appaloosa, and Luther Vandross, the I-tried-to-sell-him-for-25L-and-couldn't Brown Bay — gave birth to . . .

A BABY GIRL PEGASUS, YO!!!!!

OMG! It's like winning the lottery! WOOO! Winning!

Anyone wanna trade a baby unicorn for it?

And THEN, miracles shall follow miracles and wonders shall never cease, because on the SAME DAY (yeah, sorry, lapsing into my overly enthusiastic ALL CAPS mode), my usually worthless Wildwoods Cats (no offense, little Wildwoods, but you give me nothing these days) gave birth to MY VERY OWN Spot o' Luck St. Patrick's Day elegant:

Winning!

It's the dark one with the green eyes and what we WW breeders call a cloak coat. The other two are cats I paid significant Ls for because I figured my own cats would fail me. But they didn't! Now I have a cat rock group. They're called the Shamrockers. I would sell one or two except Wildwoods has thrown a twist in the mix with these particular holiday elegants, namely, they can breed baby holiday elegants through March 18.

SO START SEXING, CATS! Let's get a big damn green army going!

And then there are the St. Patrick's Day KittyCatS:

These Leprecats are available for purchase as a single male or single female (850L each) or in a pair pack (1700L), which also includes two bottles of Love5 vitamins (Viagra for cats). I bought four pairs. Why? Because the competitive little catch is that these cats have a chance of birthing a very limited special-edition Leprekitten baby. Only 100 of those ultra-rares will be born.

SO START SEXING IN A MAGICAL, SLOT-MACHINE-WINNING WAY, CATS!

They are CUTE. (Look at their emerald collars.) They are not, however, the Second Coming of Christ. Lately I've been hearing a lot of over-the-top catgasms that make me want to drink heavily. For the most part, I like being in the KittyCatS group. However, I don't like it when people make derogatory comments about the Wildwoods in there. I'm protective of my Wildwoods. There's no need for elitism — can't we all just get along?

Next:

MercyStyle designer Victoria Endsleigh dropped an item called "Emerald's Blackboard" in my inventory yesterday. Awwwww! Look at it! This Cat Blackboard is for sale at MercyStyle for 80L.

And finally, a sales pitch:

My favorite holiday is right around the corner, so in honor of St. Patrick's Day, I birthed all my Wildwoods kittens with Forest eyes and put them up for sale at low, low prices at my Z Couture cat stand. IRISH CATS, Y'ALL!

The one on the right is a pointed cream named Irish Cream. You love her!

Unfortunately, people don't seem to be as excited about this idea as I was. Oops.

This post is long. Let's end it with some LMs and a sigh of relief.

WHERE TO FIND IT ALL
terri.tees
LuNi Designs
Fashion for Life Blog, where you'll find a map, sim SLURLs, and a list of participating designers on each sim
Peeps at Fashion for Life
Poetic Colors at Fashion for Life
Relief Linden Bears on SL Marketplace
Buy KittyCatS Leprecats HERE, HERE or HERE
MercyStyle
Emerald's Z Couture cat stand
Pose in top pic: From the Geometry set by HelaMiyo at the Pure Juice event (runs through March 26)
Hair: Priscilla 2, streaked (NEW) in Burgundy by Truth

Fade to grey

2011-03-05T10:44:00.000-08:00

I've been meaning to post several Skin Fair posts, but my cat of 18 years, Hopscotch, died last week, and I didn't realize how empty and ouchy and lonely my life would be without her. As pathetic and cat-lady as it sounds, I didn't realize my best friend was a cat until she was gone.

Get out the violins because there's nobody waiting for me when I get home from work now, and she's not sleeping next to me when I wake up in the middle of the night in the aftermath of bad dreams, and she's not standing outside the bathroom in the morning when I'm in the shower, loudly demanding breakfast. After almost two decades of moves, new jobs, falling in love, falling out of love, three failed engagements, pregnancy scares, alternately rolling in dough and dodging bill collectors, triumphs, tragedies, punching cervical cancer in the face and just sitting around doing nothing together, she's gone and I'll never see her again. Along this wild, sometimes terrifying and ultimately beautiful path that has carried me through my entire adult life, I have always been accompanied by my faithful little furry friend and now she's gone and LEFT ME HERE ALL ALONE.

*throws something*

I got her when I was 22, moving into my very first apartment in a new city where I knew absolutely no one, living alone for the first time as I started my first job out of college. I turn 40 this year. It's almost like she said, "OK, you're all grown up now. I got you this far, but now I have to leave you."

I've had other pets die before, but nothing has been as crushingly painful as this. I have two kittens that I got for Christmas, but they're sort of into themselves. I don't know if we'll ever bond or not. I'm kind of just a source of food for them right now.

My cat Hopscotch was a long-haired calico. The day after she died, my Wildwood cats gave birth to this fluffy tricolor with rainbow eyes. I've never seen rainbow eyes before - not in auctions or marketplaces - so that's kind of weird. Weeeeeeeeird. This is the only kind of spectacular cat I've ever been able to breed:

Blah, I'm bawling again so let's stop talking about her.

Speaking of Wildwoods, it's time for some new holiday elegants. Between now and March 18 (I think), any bundle that your Wildwoods drop could potentially hold some St. Patrick's Day goodness:

I bought those. I don't mess around when it comes to anything that's spectacularly St. Patrick's-y. I just scream, "GIMME!" and grab it.

Anyway.

I found another new-to-me skin designer called Mojo BodyBoutique at the Vanity Universe Skin Fair. Tomorrow's the last day, BTW, so get ye over there pronto if you've been meaning to go.

Pretty! This is called Alba in Hazelnut 01. See the shadow under the chin? That's an attachment on my mouth that's included with the skin. I thought that was kind of an interesting touch. And now what can we learn about poses and prim sleeves from this picture, kids? Oops. (Hair: Neve by Truth. Eyes: Madagascar by Adam n Eve.)

I used to be anti big-lips when it came to skins, but I've noticed I'm not as anti about them anymore. Maybe it's because I don't have a choice.

Oh and I bought a couple of Amaretto unicorns. Well, a unicorn and a pegacorn, to be exact.

We look kind of no-nonsense in this pic. (My posse's on Broadway.)

I didn't have to pay as much as you would expect for them because they're a couple of old ladies and only have a few babies left in them before they hit retirement age. So I'm breeding them like mad in the hopes that one of them will throw another unicorn before their wombs get cold and barren. ("Throw" = give birth to. I'm getting the breedables lingo down.)

I know how they feel: Getting old and tired while people are watching you and hoping you'll pull it together at the last minute and do something remarkable.

MY GOD THIS POST IS DEPRESSING.

I'm gonna try again later this weekend. Right now I think I'll go meet some people at an Irish pub. There's nothing like the ambience of an Irish pub in Memphis, Tennessee. *cough*

GET YOUR SKINS ON
Vanity Universe Skin Fair (lasts through March 6)
Mojo BodyBoutique (store)

'What's Skin Fair? Some kind of a sex slave auction?'

2011-02-27T22:49:00.000-08:00

*points at headline* A male friend of mine actually asked me that question the other day. Ha ha! He has a good point. If you have no clue what a skin fair is, the mind can reel with erotic possibilities.

OK. Blogging under the influence of Ambien. Ready? Here we go:

Ahwwwwww yeeeaaaaah!

Look at that hair! Look at that skin! Now look at some words!

Miraculously someone took this blog seriously enough to deem me worthy of an early blogger's pass to the Vanity Universe Skin Fair. Before you think I'm bragging, don't. The privilege didn't include mountains of blogger packs of skins. Well, actually I did see some other bloggers get those. They're cooler than I am. As for me, I bought almost all mine. My MasterCard is wailing in pain now. Or victory.

I'm already bored. Let's switch subjects for a sec:

Hey, ever since Hamlet Au once advised bloggers to use plenty of pictures to break up SL blog posts, I've been doin' it! So before we get to skins, let's pause for a quick look at the makeover the Amaretto horses just got:

yeep get it the hell away from me

The new Amaretto update horses remind me of the first time I tried shrooms in college. I had kind of a bad trip: Angels plummeted from the night sky and smashed into millions of pieces all over the beach. The moon cloned itself and they both spun around like pinwheels. The stars literally laughed at me, raining maniacal "HAHAHAHAHAHA!"s down on my head. And you know how it is, I made it worse by thinking, "What if all this stuff is really going on all the time, and we can only see it when drugs lift the cloudy veil that shrouds our sober selves?" At one point I looked over at my then-boyfriend (who grew up to be a permanent mental hospital resident — DON'T DO DRUGS, KIDS!) and his face was stretching out in a very terrifying "American Werewolf in London"-kinda way. He looked exactly like this horse.

"Amaretto Breedables: We slap a saddle on your bad drug trip and giddy the hell up!"

OK, that was kind of a weird digression. Sorry. I'll probably come back and edit it out.

And now, back to skin.

After I got my sneak peek . . . you know what, wait. I need to say something else. I've seen way too much of this in blogs lately: "sneak peak." Please stop it. Unless it's a stealthy mountaintop creeping up behind you, it's not a "sneak PEAK." It's "PEEK." You know, like peeking through a keyhole? (Although when was the last time you saw a keyhole, let alone peeked through it?)

Anyway, after I got my sneak peek of the skin fair, I was filled with regret that I didn't take a decent picture of the venue for my SL photo album-slash-blog. So I went back to do that a couple of days after the fair opened. Here's a picture of skin fair this year:

I think the sim only allows in two people at a time. I've been trying for a week now. Sheeeeesh.

The Vanity Universe Skin Fair lasts through March 6. If you do get in, I encourage you to follow these simple rules:

1. For the love of God, be careful when you're clicking that "Buy Demo" button. There's a reason why the "Buy Demo" button is often right next to the "Buy the Fatpack" button, and it's because wise creators know there are plenty of idiots like me who are drinking cheap merlot while they're cruising the Skin Fair.

Six-dollar wine + Skin Fair = "Oh sh*t, I thought I was getting a demo but I ACCIDENTALLY BOUGHT THE FATPACK!":

This photo should be titled, "Portrait of an Oh Sh*t Moment," and appropriately, this skin looks a little pissed off. It's called Entice by Daring. I'd never heard of Daring before. Later, when I talked to Creator Daring Cresci, she told me her store has only been open for two months. You go, girl! You give good skin.

2. Wear as few attachments as possible and turn on your Avatar Rendering Cost monitor (is it a monitor? radar? display? indicator? pick a word!) before you TP into Skin Fair. That way, you can walk around feeling smug and superior to all the people with long red numbers.

3. DON'T BE A SHEEP and run to the most popular skin designers' booths first. You can get back to them another day. (Good luck with that.) Instead, sprint by those booths yelling, "BAAAAA, BITCHES!" (that was a sheep sound) and go scope out some new-to-you creators. You might be pleasantly surprised. I was!

Let's get back to Daring. Besides the skin I bought on accident, I bought two other skins from Daring:

This one's called Anxiety, and in case you can't tell, I'm wearing the boobalicious version of it. But before we go any further, you need to stop what you're doing and run over to The Dressing Room and get this Aurora hair (70L) by CheerNo. It evokes reactions like this one:

[2011/02/26 21:28] Ooolah (ulaa.coronet) shouts: omfg your hair!!! JESUS WEPT! [INSERT MORE EXPLICIT SHOUTING HERE] WHOA!

Yeah. Like that.

The Feather Outfit in Brown (120L) is by Acid & Mala. There's a longer version of the top (100L) over at the Elliot location as part of this month's Oh My Stars-Oh-Rama event. It's a little less tribal-hoochie than this one.

I also bought Daring's Moody skin in shade 5:

It's got a slightly sweeter face, IMHO. Look at the cute little nose!! (Hair: Whitney in Treacle, streaked, by Truth)

As you know, I'm all about the face. I'm not as picky about the naughty bits as many other skin lovers are. (Probably because nobody sees them.) Those people may want to take a good look at the nips on these skins though. And the landing strips. And some of the butt shading. They may not appeal to everyone. Also, all three skins have a dark hairbase . . . and no other option. They all have cleavage options, though, and the Entice skin has abs/no abs versions.

Single skins at Daring are 799L. Fatpacks of five makeups are 2499L.

This post is getting tedious. I'm gonna stop now.

SMACK THAT TP BUTTON!
Vanity Universe's third-annual Skin Fair
Daring, the store
The Dressing Room
Acid & Mala on Elliott
Truth
Gargoyle pose at top by Saturnine Dreams

P.S. This is my cat Tila Tequila. Don't you wanna just chase her with a lemon? I'm trying to resist the lure of these things and pretty much shake my affection for breedables altogether. But I'll admit, when I clicked the "Cuddle Me!" button on the cat's menu and saw this animation, I did say, "AWWWWW!" out loud.

If you too are going through an SL cat phase and you missed out on the limited-edition colored SweetCatS for Valentine's Day, I have a ton of these boxed kittens in all colors for sale at 1200L each (not bad, considering they were originally 850L), except for the one pink one and the one rainbow one I have. (Those are significantly higher.) There's a red one out at my stall right now. If you're interested in buying another color, drop me a nc. And HELL YES, that was a sales pitch. I'm broke.

SUPPORT MY VICES, BUY MY ANIMALS!
Emerald's Seedy Back-Alley Cat Sales! (Three stalls of all your wildest cat dreams come true! OK, some of your wildest cat dreams come true.)
Emerald's Awesome Horses at Low, Low Prices!
More of Emerald's Awesome Horses at Low, Low Prices!
And Even More Horses at Low, Low Prices!
(yeah, um, oops, I've gotten a little carried away with procreating animals)
Emerald's Very, Very, Lame, Cheap and Mediocre Biobreeds Dogs (I have one thing to say about these things: YAWN. They're total fail for me - I'm giving up on them. But I have some bland-looking crated labs for sale, cheaper than the ones you'll buy at the main store. And wow, I really made them sound appealing, huh?)

She says that love is for fools who fall behind

2011-02-13T22:38:00.000-08:00

"Dear Second Life, Happy Valentine's Day! Love, Helena Bonham Carter!"

Ha ha ha! I didn't do that on purpose, but what a happy accident. She's awesome.

This Plume Valentine hair is magnifico. You have until the end of 2/15 to grab it as part of the Valentine's Hunt at Fellini Couture. Find six hearts to make a complete outfit (dress, hair, jewelry, face tattoos). They're not free though. The heart with this hair in it is 100L, and I'm so not telling you to look for it on the wall of hair in Plume. (Lionheart skin in BloodGeisha by The Plastik.)

For Valentine's Day fashion, I choose to blog this Tribute to Emilie dress (650L) and matching Lace Rag Wings (250L) by Aliza Karu's AngelsDemons Creations. This outfit has been in my inventory for almost a year. For the next month, I'm following the tough-love instructions of my friend Alicia Chenaux and only blogging things already in my inventory. I'll add freebies, hunt items, lucky chair/board wins and blogger review items to that list. I'm spending way too much money in SL, and it stops today. TODAY, I tell you!

Until March 13, I'm only spending lindens I make from selling horses and cats. And then I'm sticking to a strict budget.

Anyway.

If you haven't been to the store AD Creations, you should check it out. It's full of exquisitely detailed whimsical, gothy, through-the-looking-glassish stuff for the Helena Bonham Carter in you.

Don't try to tell me that's not FREEKIN' GLORIOUS! I won't believe you.

The MM board at that store is always awesome. I also love this cute little Gothic in Red dress (350L) I bought there:

DAMMIT!

My head keeps spinning around like a scene from "The Exorcist" whenever I get on a pose stand these days. Between that and frequently logging in to an imaginary balance of only 20L in my account, I'm getting highly irritated with this place. As far as I'm concerned, Linden Lab owes me a Big Damn Discount on my Premium Membership rate at this point. I didn't sign up for this chaos.

That's a new hairstyle by Truth, BTW. It's called Sandra and it's going in my "Favorite Truth Hair" folder. Thank you, Truth, for getting the lyrics, "Look at meeeeee, I'm Sandra Deeeeeee!" stuck in my head all weekend. My friends thank you as well.

Here's a front view, but because my hair is Burgundy and the cute color-change headband is black, I advise you to look at THIS BLOG or my friend Joonie's blog for better pictures:

(Ummmmmmm, I don't think I'm gonna buy this Las Petits Details skin, 90L, at Chic Boutique. I've seen it looking cute as hell on other people though, so I'll put the SLURL below.)

The Sandra hair includes two versions of bangs and a streaked option. Awesome.

So, it's Valentine's Day tomorrow (no, really?), and I'm really proud of the SL community for not overdoing it this year. I really haven't seen as much sickeningly gooey, cheesy stuff as I usually do. And since I've started entertaining myself with virtual breeding experiments, I've been amused by all the "Give your sweetheart the romantic gift of a [horse, cat, dog]!" advertising I've seen. It makes sense, though. A breedable animal is a gift that keeps on giving. Hell, long after your boyfriend has left you crushed and alone, your Valentine's Day horse could still be popping out many-traited and, as such, valuable offspring. Then you can buy yourself a new boyfriend. (Or girlfriend. Whatever floats your boat.)

KittyCatS, for example, has some limited-edition SweetCatS in eight colors available at the main store through Feb. 19. (That seems random — maybe Feb. 20?) Unlike the competition, these kittens are available in-store — you don't have to breed and breed and breed your existing cats and pray that they'll drop a holiday-edition basket. (I'll get to that in a minute.) The only catch is, you don't get to choose the color, and these babies are 850L a shot. It's like a slightly insane gatcha machine. I wanted a pink or a red one or even a very rare rainbow coat. About 4000L later, I gave up. Needless to say, one of the teal cats in this pic is now for sale at a discounted 500L at Emerald's Cat House! (Yes, I bolded it. I'm broke.)

They'd also make for a cute V'Day gift for your SL BFF.

"Happy Valentine's Day! I got you an 850L kitten! Now you have to take excellent care of it and keep it alive or I WILL KILL YOU."

Not to be outdone, BioBreeds has holiday-edition male (Valentino) and female (Valentina) labs for sale right now for 700L each until 4 p.m. SLT, Feb. 14:

"Happy Valentine's Day! I took some labs to a tattoo parlor and got them covered in these slightly creepy floral tattoos for you! I just want you to know how much you mean to me and how much my life has chang . . . OMG LOOK OUT HERE COME SOME PETA ACTIVISTS RUN FOR THE LOVE OF GOD RUN JUST GRAB THE DAMN DOGS AND RUN!"

Wildwoods Cats is a little more market-conscious. Through Feb. 15, our pregnant cats all have a chance, albeit a realllllly rare one, of dropping a limited holiday edition elegant kitten, like this Broken Heart Plushie:

Hell no, my cats didn't birth this one. I bought it from a really apathetic guy who sold it to me for not-that-much. They're selling in auction right now for around 7000L to 8000L. My pregnant cats that are scheduled to give birth tomorrow and Tuesday are my last shot at breeding my own. I feel like the bizarro-land version of "Willie Wonka's" Charlie — the one who DOESN'T get the golden ticket and bribes his way into the chocolate factory instead.

The same deal goes for Amaretto Breedables. Through Feb. 14, all pregnant mares have a chance of birthing a rare Valentine's Day horse, such as this That's Amour horse:

Or we can give up and buy one, in this case for 45000L at TLC Ranch. ("Hi there horsey! I'll see you in about five months when someone's selling you for 3000L.")

I have an oozing bump under my eyelid, so I think I'm going to wrap up this really thrilling post. I'll close with this random picture:

Lilac, forest, cobalt, crimson, sky: I collect black Wildwood cats with colored eyes. I will not rest until I have one for each existing eye color. (It's good to have a hobby). I named that little guy with the red eyes Lucifer. The Catholic in me has been wracked with guilt and fear ever since, seriously.

NOW GO FORTH AND GET YE THIS STUFF INWORLD:
Fellini Couture
The Plastik
AngelsDemons Creations
Truth
Chic Boutique
KittyCatS
BioBreeds
Wildwoods Cats
Amaretto Ranch Main
TLC Ranch (That's Amour horse, 45000L)

SUPPORT MY VICES:
Buy my cats (Emerald's Cat House)
Buy more of my cats
Buy my horses
Buy more of my horses
(Coming soon: Buy my dogs)

Posted: February 13, 2011

The mere price of 140,000L

2011-02-07T20:59:00.000-08:00

If you could've seen my real face yesterday, it looked like this:

O_O

(Actually the mouth should be round.)

Why didn't someone tell me that on very rare occasions Amaretto Breedables can breed UNICORNS??!!

*does a little unicorn dance*

Throughout this whole "Help, I can't stop paying real money for fake cats so I can make them have sex and have little fake babies!" phase, I've consoled myself by saying, "Hey, at least I'm not one of those Amaretto horse people. Those people are nuts."

No offense, Amaretto horse people. But sometimes — wait, make that "frequently" — a TP will fail and I'll accidentally land in the middle of a big confusing OCEAN of Amaretto horses on some random sim. I will gape in morbid fascination for a few minutes and then go on my not-so-merry, probably-not-gonna-be-able-to-TP-again way. I never really got what the deal with those things are.

And then I found out they can sometimes breed unicorns. And the quest began.

Like an idiot, I thought I could just waltz into a horse ranch, throw some lindens around and leave with one. I searched in Classified for "Amaretto unicorn" or, as the breed is known, "charmed Amaretto." I found one place that advertised robocorns, unicorns, pegasuses, and demon. . . corns or something. I don't know. I wasn't really paying attention to those.

Let's pause for a random picture . . .

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I didn't know we had SLayboy! How do I get to be a centerfold? Seriously. I'm putting it on my SL bucket list, right under "get unicorn." I'm not joking. Just tell me how you want my sliders, baby!

OK

I learned it's not that easy to buy an Amaretto unicorn. I searched all over the grid and I can't find anyone who's selling one. Many owners are renting out their male unicorns and pegacorns for stud service at 5000L a pop though. I'm on a waiting list.

So the best I could do was buy unicorn offspring.

Behold, the children of unicorns! Nope, they don't have the horns, but they do have the traits.

Exciting. (Please grow up and have unicorn babies.) Don't ask me how much I paid for them. Please don't. (That's a salt lick in the foreground, BTW. I was gonna draw a face on it, but I didn't want to confuse you.)

I also bought these:

Yeah. I'm done drinking cheap merlot while I shop for fake horses. WOOOO! It looks like a coloring book exploded all over my farmland!

I have another shiny one with snowflakes all over her, and one that looks like a candy cane. Yes, they were expensive. When I was a noob, I was poor. I didn't have an RL job and I lived in the World's Ugliest Skybox and I wore a lot of Ronja Wear business-in-a-box stuff. I camped for money and shook my moneymaker at club contests and lurked around studying Zyngo masters until I became a Zyngo champion myself and saved and saved and saved and saved . . . just to buy one pair of Stiletto Moody shoes. When I finally got them, I wrote a blog post about it. Then some chick named Princess rained on my shoe parade and left a comment making fun of me for being poor. Now I wish I could track her down, throw her in a pile of really expensive horse manure and yell, "HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW, PRINCESS? HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM HORSE APPLES?"

Sorry. Just having a twisted little fantasy moment.

OK, so I'm going to need all of you to sit down now. Are you sitting down?

This horse . . .

. . . costs 140,000L.

I don't even know why it's so spectacular. I was too busy straining my brain trying to translate 140,000L into USD. I finally went to my SL dashboard and typed it into "Buy Lindens." (Hey Linden Lab, I crash every five minutes these days, so at the very least you can do some MATH for me.) And then I had this HORRIBLE OCD moment where I got terrified that my fingers were going to get a mind of their own and hit "Buy Now!" Or that my cat would jump up on my keyboard at that moment and hit it on accident. Honestly, that is the type of comical disaster that happens to me all the time.

Anyway, 140,000L = $557.77 USD.

MY GOD, WE NEED SOME EXCLAMATION POINTS: !!!!!!!!!!

Can you imagine? Can you imagine paying $557.77 for an SL horse??! I can't! Even with my wild, wild imagination and my very reluctant, yet deep and probably undying love for this place, I can't. Maybe $300. Maybe $320. But never $500!!

Do any of you know anyone who's paid $500 USD or more for an Amaretto Breedable? Because if so, I would like to interview him. And I say "him" because I'm hoping it's a guy. Then the interview could go like this:

Emerald: So, you paid $500 U.S. bucks for a virtual horse?
Emerald's Future Sugar Daddy: Yep. That's pocket change.
Emerald: Why'd you buy it?
EFSD: Because I felt like it.
Emerald: Are you really a man in RL?
EFSD: Yes
Emerald: Do you have a wife?
EFSD: No
Emerald: Do you have a girlfriend?
EFSD: No
Emerald: Do you have a boyfriend?
EFSD: No
Emerald: Wanna blow this place off and go ride some real horses?
EFSD: I live in Italy
Emerald: I'll let you fly me there
EFSD: OK

I don't have a way to end this story. I didn't find a unicorn. I'll try really hard to breed one. I did find a gunslinger, though. He was checking out the prices for the stud service on this unicorn (Robocorn? I don't know the lingo):

I wish I could have snapped a better picture of him. You can barely see him, but he's got that rough-and-tumble look I like. I wanted to say, "So hey baby, what do YOU charge for stud service?"

Wow.

Revealing my secret SLayboy centerfold dream. Fantasizing about beating the crap out of Princess. Lusting after a cartoon gunslinger. I must be ovulating.

One more thing. I got some of those new KittyCatS today. I received one blogger review pair — it made me feel special (They like me! They really like me!) — and then I bought three more pairs.

I wanted to hate them, only because I'm so financially and emotionally invested in the Wildwoods. But I'll admit, that little tongue sticking out is SO DAMN CUTE! So are the animations.

Prices: 298L for a single cat, includes food for one week; 599L for one male-and-female pair, includes food for one week; 1500L for two male-and-female pairs, includes food and milk for two weeks; and 4500L for five pairs, includes food and milk for two weeks, as well as vitamins for love, energy, healing and breakup (?).

If only someone would pump me full of magic vitamins after all my breakups.

Aw!

I'm curious to see if their traits will be as varied and cool as those of the Wildwoods. And I'm hooked on the thrill of trying to get a Wildwood Elegant. It appeals to the gambler in me. *cue Kenny Rogers* But I'll breed these pairs and see what happens.

I was also going to pick up the new breedable dogs today, but that sim has been full ALL DAY. Wow.

Oops. I accidentally talked about procreating animals again. But I did throw some imaginary sex in there too!

Get Stuff In World:
SugarCube Ranch (stud service from charmed Amarettos and offspring for sale)
Bright Angel Cove (my new favorite place for finding rare Amarettos)
KittyCats
BioBreeds Dogs, aka mission impossible
Emerald's Cat House — shameless self-promotion, not mentioned in blog, sorry

On the wings of MeKa (and hey, we've got some 'ruff' times ahead of us)

2011-02-05T19:24:00.000-08:00

Later, you can slap me for that headline. I give you permission.

I wear these wings often in posts and I just realized I've never talked about them. MeKa is a niche-market store that's all about wings, and they're not your average run-of-the-mill wings — they're pretty bad-ass, with distinctive details and themes. I buy just about every pair that Mekaila Hinterland makes. These are her The New Daylight wings in Black and they're also available in several tipped colors (199L for a pair; 500L for a fatpack of five colors). To see a couple of the other colors, check these previous posts HERE (purple) and HERE (silver).

(NOTE: Since I purchased these wings, they've been removed from the store, but I got brave [I'm shy] and IMed Mekaila to ask about them. She said she'll be putting them back soon.)

She currently has some Valentine specials ($149L a pair: significantly less than their usual prices) that range from cute to striking at The Nightscape sim's Valentine Market, which has lots of sexy things there, BTW.

These are her Bounded Freedom wings in Red Thorned Rose. Open and closed versions are included in the set.

OK. Before I get into the not-so-juicy meat of this post, I want to reassure everyone that I'm not going to write about procreating animals in every blog post from now on. I SWEAR I SWEAR. It's just that I have writer's block. As such, I want to apologize to all the people who have dropped review copies on me lately. I love your work, but at the moment I hate my writing.

So. Breedable dogs, yo.

These BioBreeds dogs hit the breedables scene today. I saw them and felt an obligation to cover them for all you dog lovers out there.

The skinny: People who are in the breedables loop (not me) apparently have known about these pooches' impending arrival for a while and snagged special vouchers in December to get theirs today. The rest of the unwashed masses — and I'm one of them — can buy them Feb. 7. Right now they're only available in labs and pugs. I wish I would have known about the limited selection before I got all eagerly proactive and rented a sales stall in the Furrfect Dogs marketplace. (Yep, you read that right. Furrfect!) Nothing against labs and pugs, but I would have totally gone for a pomeranian. Or a pink poodle. Or a terrier.

Maybe I'll get a lab and pretend it's a rabid Saint Bernard. ("Cujo? Is that you?")

Actually, if someone launched a line of EVIL, RABID BREEDABLES I think my life would finally feel complete. Seriously.

I don't know. I don't really like the way they look like someone Frankensteined the dog's head onto its body. They should put bandanas around the necks. I'll try out a couple though, even though I'm not really an SL dog person.

Speaking of breedables, I decided to give my landlady and my cat-hater neighbors some relief and rent an "agriculture-zoned" parcel just for my thriving (haha) cattery.

*rolls around with joy in a 933-prim allowance* (I wonder why this blog suddenly decided to stop putting BORDERS around my pictures? It's in the HTML code, otherwise known as The Bane of My Blog Existence. I need a new template.)

I'm the only one here with no horses. But hell, maybe I'll get a couple of horses. Because as you can see, I've got a lot of space. Sometimes when I'm waiting for a kitten to drop, I perv-cam my neighbor's horses.

Wow, that mane. He looks like an aging Fabio.

God, this post was really supposed to be about my comical search for this land and how a lot of SL land managers lost out on my business because their info notes were full of unbearable typos and lazy text chat.

"IF U BUY THIS LAND, YOU HAVE 2 CREAT A LAND GROOP N THEN AD ME 2 UR LAND GROOP!"

That was the very classy greeter notecard I got when I checked out a parcel that cost $60 USD a month. Wow.

IF U CAN'T TAKE THE TIME TO OPEN A DIXSHUNARY, TURN OFF ALL-CAPS AND SPELL THE THREE-LETTER WORD 'YOU,' THEN U DON'T DESERVE MY BIZNESS.

I don't wanna hear the "But there might be a language barrier" excuse. I've seen many creators go out of their way to have their notecards translated into several languages. Dear Creators and Land Managers of SL - I'm happy to proof your notecards for you and clean them up, if necessary. You don't even have to pay me — I'm open to bartering.

Anyhoo, I'm finally selling some kittens. Not enough to land me on the cover of Time magazine as the next SL millionaire or anything, but enough to get my competitive spirit all revved up. Unfortunately at the moment, most of my male cats need Viagra. Nobody's getting it on these days. The ladies are all hot and bothered, but the men are all meh about it. Isn't that always the case?

I guess I wouldn't be in the mood either if someone threw me in the middle of a big feline barn orgy. (Can you spot the cat with the big freaky tumor in this pic?)

A couple of quick notes just for you:

- The Valentine Rose hair I'm wearing in this post is FREE at Curious Kitties. I bought that PAtchS Lace Up Top (175L) there as well.

- The jeans I'm wearing are my new favorites. I'd never been to the store MIU before — I discovered it on The Serial Killer Hunt — but I love the textures and the vibe of those clothes. The jeans are *ZX* Urban Writer Jeans (225L, two versions of leg cuffs, and padlocked chain belt in male and female versions included). They make me feel like an urban writer.

- In my quest for cat-breeding land, I eagerly slapped down a month's rent on a huge parcel w/a 750-prim allowance . . . only to later read the fine print in the rental agreement and discover that breedables aren't allowed there. Oops. So here's the thing. I'm really not going to use that land. So if you're homeless and you need a place w/a generous prim allowance for three weeks, you can use it if you're the first person to contact me about it. I don't even want your rent. Just contact me inworld so I can get you added to the land group. It's an inland parcel, but prettier than most. Feel free to check it out HERE.

VISIT IN WORLD
MeKA
Nightscape Valentine Market
BioBreeds breedable dogs store
Curious Kitties
MIU
Emerald's empty land plot that's going to waste
Shameless Promotion: Buy yourself a cute pet (or two) at Emerald's Cathouse! (Please ignore the complete asshole who's letting all his cats starve to death in the stall next to mine. He's killing my sales ambience with his corpses, pardon the pun.) My prices are way the hell lower than anyone else's, even for the exotic ones — which actually has several cat people pissed at me for "undercutting the market," but HEY! What am I supposed to do when there are HUNDREDS of cats for sale out there? I can't help it if I believe in the power of competitive pricing.

Wow, this post is long. I'm going to call it a night.

Goodnight!
Posted February 5, 2011

Basket case (I mean, "Yes, I too am blogging the Year of the Bunny Hunt!")

2011-01-30T13:22:00.000-08:00

I'll be honest. When I first read about the Year of the Bunny Hunt (Jan. 29 - Feb. 6) on the Magic of Oz and the Ozimals sims, I covered my eyes and screamed, "Too many instructions!" I've gotten lazy.

But I went over there and tried it and it was fun. "And this is the end of my book report." (Sorry. I'm not well these days. I can't write. Look at my bleak, sickly AV, too. Wow, I didn't even realize I was doing that. Maybe I'll feel better if I make her look healthy.)

("Behold!") This Lotus Hanfu is one of FallnAngel Creation's hunt gifts. Love.

Go HERE or HERE and click the hunt sign, which will give you a basket and way better instructions than the ones I'm about to give you. Walk around both sims and click on any gold coins you see. They're everywhere. You'll be awesome at it. When you collect six, you'll get a menu of stores from which you can choose prizes. (And my grammar teacher claps.) Pick a store. You'll get a Chinese good luck symbol that corresponds with that store. Go to the store, wear the symbol and stand within 2 meters of the candy dish there that looks like this:

Then click the symbol — which will be floating over your head — and you'll receive that store's prize. It sounds like a lot of work, but trust me on this, you'll go over there and get in a Zen zone and get into it, I promise.

Here are the participating stores on their respective sims:

Ozimals
Sanu
mocha
Houses for You
Fae Fantasy Bunnies
Jolly Farm
Frippery

Magic of Oz
eMOTION
*katat0nik* (2 Gifts)
Risusipo Shop
Fae & Tiny Fantasy Creations
Pas De Deux
Falln Angel Creations
Schadenfreude
~silentsparrow~

I thought about plugging in all the SLURLs, but then I thought about it some more and started crying. Then I thought about being like one of those cool blogs and showing you a picture of every single prize and then I thought about THAT some more and started crying even harder. I'm a failure. I'm sorry.

I got this far before I collapsed:

Green Bunnyflake Eyes by Schadenfreude. The prize also includes a brown pair. Can you find the rabbits in them? It's like a fun little game!

I'm usually not one to run around with stuff sticking out of my mouth, but I'll take this calligraphy pen from Sanu because it looks a little dangerous. Don't laugh or I'll stab you with it. Or cover you with impressive penmanship. If you click it, you — yes, YOU — will get a little gift. I like. It gives me an excuse to run around yelling, "HEY, CLICK MY PEN!" at strangers. Sanu's prize also includes some lovely earrings. I deliberately did not shoot a picture of them because I thought you could use more surprise and delight in your life. (I just spelled "use" like this: "yuse." God help me.) (Hair: Neve in Crow, by Truth)

"HEY, CLICK MY PEN!"

Let's move on.

Year of the Rabbit Bracelet from Frippery. Creator Elizabeth Tinsley is so damn talented, I never know what to say around her. I get all shy and stuff. (Wow, my wrist looks wonky when I zoom in on it. If you see me in world, don't zoom in on it.)

Cuddle Tree for 2 by Houses for You. I think I'm in the guy's pose here. I should have TPed in a male to pose with me because I look lonely and butch. The tree is beautiful and so is its shadow, though. If I weren't such a jaded, anti-love activist, I'd really love it. Couples will look splendid under it. I'm gonna stop babbling now.

You like my skin? Get it today at The Plastik for Lazy Sunday, 75L. I slapped a red eyeshadow over it because I like to be all dramatic like that.

IF YOU SKIPPED TO THE END, HERE'S YOUR COOKIE:
Year of the Bunny Hunt Start Point One
Year of the Bunny Hunt Start Point Two
The Plastik

Posted Jan. 30, 2011

Steam up your space (and such)

2011-01-29T20:53:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I feel sort of bad for hair designer Truth Hawks — he hardly ever gets any love in the blogosphere. I never see blog posts about his hair anywhere. Bloggers of all shapes and sizes seem to shun and neglect his work. It's a damn shame because he's got some rockin' new hairstyles at Truth this week. Like this Neve style (shown in Amethyst) with optional, color-changeable band.

Oh you like my trippy face tattoo? I do too. It's included in the La Ligne makeup pack that's Virtual/Insanity's 60L Super Bargain Saturday offering. You still have a few hours to grab it — and some creators are even cool enough to leave their Saturday stuff out all weekend. I love those types!

It's also Spruce Up Your Space (SUYS) weekend, which always makes my house AND my linden balance happy. As you probably know, once a month awesome designers put out awesome domestic-type things for an awesome 150L or less. Awesome. This month's SUYS theme is Life of Luxury. That's my kind of theme, baby. *cue Sheila E and "The Glamorous Life"* If you have to ask, you can't afford it (but you don't have to ask and you CAN afford it).

If you want to see everything you can snag this weekend, I'm going to point you in the direction of The Rumor blog, specifically This Post Right Here, which has all the pictures and SLURLs.

So speaking of sprucing up our spaces, let's get steamy for a minute:

OK, the first thing I want you to do is ignore that rezzer box in front. In fact, I put an X through it just so you wouldn't look at it.

This is Belle Belle's SUYS item. Belle Belle never fails to make me shout, "ARE YOU KIDDING ME???" but in a good way. Because LOOK at this Sauna Zen-sation. After this weekend it'll cost 990L. This weekend, however, it's all yours for 150L. Damn! DAYUM!!

It's got 10 animations for 10 avatars in it, which means you can have a big sweaty orgy in there, which reminds me that there's an adult version of this sauna for 1990L. The SUYS special is rated PG.

326 prims; includes interactive fire pit, steam, shower and water tray

I like to shower with my clothes on.

What do you call chillin' in a sauna? Steamin'? It doesn't have the same ring. And yeah, I'm all about the matchy-matchy today. The mini turtleneck dress is Acid & Mala's 60L Super Bargain Saturday item, and if you hate purple, it includes several colors of belts.

Sometimes I like to bring blog posts full circle when I end them, so let's get back to the new hair this week. I'm not sure what planet I've been on, but I just noticed a bunch of new Truth hair colors — colors like babyblue, coolmint, fairyfloss, granny and more. Many of them are nontraditional colors, which is fabulous for those of us who like to lean as far away from reality as we can in SL.

Billie in Babyblue with color-change hat (Eyes in both these pics by Acid & Mala.)

Odetta in Granny. Oh, you don't like bangs? That's OK, you can take them off. OPTIONAL BANGS, BABY! I like it!

GO, GO, GO!
Truth
Virtual/Insanity
Belle Belle
Acid & Mala

Posted Jan. 29, 2011

I'm going to change this title when I think of one

2011-01-27T14:33:00.000-08:00

Oops, it looks like I lost two blog followers. That makes me sad. That also happened when I wrote about breedable chickens too. Dang. I should have learned my lesson back then. Oh well. Frankly, I would run the hell away from this blog right now too if I could. It dwells in the Land of Fail these days.

Anyway . . .

You guys are sick of all those highfalutin fashion pictures out there. I know you are! So here's a simple picture of me, looking slightly stoned, trying to keep my balance in the snow. (Pose: from the Freestylin' set by !bang.) I took this photo on my work computer, which I think was the first Dell computer ever made, so that's my excuse for the bad quality. *cough*

That Chiffon Silk Kerchief skirt from The Secret Store has earned a place in my coveted "Favorite Clothing Ever" folder. Get it at The Dressing Room Blue for a mere 60L. I'm also loving the new short leather jackets (180L) from bubble. That's my fashion blast of the day. Bask in it, baby!

Speaking of babies, I'm beta-testing a prim baby from a new prim baby company, MunBabies:

*listens to the sound of more blog followers running away*

DON'T WORRY! I'm not going to write about it. Frankly, I don't even know what the hell I'm supposed to do with this thing. How do you beta-test a baby? It didn't come with instructions. It cries and laughs and makes a rattle-shaking sound when I poke it. But am I supposed to feed it or something?

Does it breed?

The beta-tester folder included a version to pose with:

Um.

That's a little too MILF-y for me. Kind of looks like I'm preparing to give birth AGAIN. Or at least getting ready to conceive. "Open for business, boys! Come to Mama!" (Try that pose in real life -- I can almost guarantee you'll die laughing. I did! In fact, up the laugh factor and do it while you're holding a real baby. In a basket.)

"Hi there, little squinty baby with a toupee! I'm your new stripper mom! Welcome to your new home! Well, actually, it's a big snowy yard. We don't have a lot of furniture right now. Frankly I can't even rez you on my parcel at the moment. Not enough room at the inn and all that. We do have a lot of pets though!"

Oops.

DON'T LEAVE! I'm not going to write about them, I swear!! Well, except I sold three. WOO HOO! That means I've made about a 700L return on my 25000L investment in these things. I ROCK!

I'm not even interested in selling them anymore. And I'm not even that attached to them as pets. What I love is the power of creation. You know, as in, what happens if I breed this glowing white one with this shiny violet one? It's like having a furry little chemistry set!!

Let's end this post with two quick pics. I like to call this one, "When Bad Pillows Happen to Good Friends":

Ha ha! I went over to check out my friend Epione's new cabin. She writes a blog I love, Translucent Journey. I was touched to see that she's using the furniture I got her for Christmas. For the record, it matched her last house. But she changes houses so often, I should have known better. ("Hi, I got you some pretty pastel furniture for your rustic earth-toned cabin! Now you have to use it or my feelings will be hurt!") Oops.

She does have a real head, I swear.

And now, a Neon Frog plea:

MOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE!

Please slap this board if you get a chance today. Do it for those of us who long for a moose. Here's your limo.

CHECK IT OUT
The Dressing Room Blue
Bubble
Round Boots in Brown from J's
!bang
MunBabies Blog
Emerald's Cathouse!

Caaaaaatchoo!

2011-01-21T17:08:00.000-08:00

I've been feeling really out of sorts lately. For instance, I even stayed home from work today because I had a wild urge to stroll in there and either fire everybody or quit my job. But you know what? It just dawned on me that maybe the reason I'm feeling slightly off is because I've been spending hours and hours over the course of days looking in nooks and crannies for this thing:

Yeah, that's right.

You have 10 days left to finish The Serial Killer Hunt.

And speaking of death, you're going to have to bear with me through one more breedable cats post. Sorry. It's all I've got going on.

I rented some space in the Purfect Kitty cat market. I learned my lesson the hard way with the chickens. Remember? People went wild and snatched up every market stall on the grid? By the time I finally got some really cool rare eggs of my own to sell, there was absolutely nowhere to sell them. I was on waiting lists. WAITING LISTS TO SELL IMAGINARY CHICKENS. (Read that sentence fragment out loud and then pause for a moment as we reflect on how sad my life really is.)

But not this time.

Awwwwwwww yeah, baby! Welcome to Emerald's Cathouse, where the lovin' is good and the kittens are sexy!

It looks spiffy, huh? The camera is so kind. Truth is, every cat has a paragraph of stats over its head. Sure, you can turn them off, but that would be pretty crappy customer service. So although my camera politely ignored the eyesore, in world, my cat stall looks like this:

THAT HURTS MY OCD!

So as you can see, my cats finally started giving birth. And I guess some of the kittens are considered pretty desirable. I'm not sure. I joined the Wildwood Breedables group, but those people have a nonstop stream of cat chatter going on throughout the day. Don't get me wrong: if that's your thing, that's wonderful. But as for me, I don't have much to say about my cats (beyond writing a long droning blog post about them). So when I do pipe up and ask an occasional question, it always seems to kill the chat for a minute, probably while 300 people think, "Shut up, you idiot lurker."

So I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. For instance, my cat Diana Ross just gave birth to this cat called an Eclipse:

So impressive, he even has a sign!

He's a cream tabby with glowing golden eyes and a fluffy tail. I guess this breed is called Eclipse because the cream color is . . . covered with darkness? Don't stare directly at it! You'll burn your eyes!

That picture sucks. Here's are his parents (I think. I lose track of who's zooming whom):

Diana Ross is on the left. You can tell she's an Eclipse because SL is taking her glowing Cobalt eyes and smearing them across my photo. The father Flauta is another kind of exciting type in the cat world, maybe? He's called a Van, with Sleek shading (how cool is that?) and a Fluffy tail, which is more desirable than a common tail. I just fell asleep for a second. Let's pause for an unrelated question:

Does anyone know what happened to the following people: Banana Vella, Ding Fotherington and Beanie Canning? I miss their blogs.

Anyway, yeah — that's a birthing picture up there. The kittens are born in baskets. That must hurt like a mo-fo. As soon as Diana Ross finished squeezing out that wicker, I took her Eclipse kitten and put him up for sale in Emerald's Cathouse. I have no idea what to charge. I'm scared to ask the Wildwood Breedables group. I walked around and looked at other Eclipses and they're 3K - 4K lindens. My God, that seems insane to me. So mine is 1200L. Hell, if you're savvy, you could probably buy him and flip him like a pancake.

I also have some starter cats for sale for 50L. They're not that exciting, but they could have exciting kittens one day. I'm willing to negotiate too. I'll go as low as 5L.

I bought a cat called a Holiday Elegant (with a Shimmer coat) that's supposed to look like a gingerbread man but instead looks like a creepy John Wayne Gacyesque serial killer cat:

(Eek.)

I named her Beyonce. She just gave birth to that Modern Seal Tuxedo female with Shimmer shading and a Bobbed tail. I think those are good things. I have no idea what that kitten's price should be though. Maybe I should try an auction house or something.

Oh my gawd, I'm dying of boredom. Dying. Of. Boredom. This blog post is unbearable. Frankly, it's not even a real post — it's really a cry for help. If you're a nice person and you know about this stuff, could you please help me? HELP ME, PLEASE, I'M BEGGING YOU TO HELP ME!

OK. The End.

VISIT IN WORLD!
Emerald's Cathouse!

Posted Jan. 21, 2011

Everyone's having sex but me

2011-01-15T13:50:00.000-08:00

Hey, look at my fishtank!!!

If you've been reading this blog since the very early days . . . well, damn, I'll I can say is I'm sorry.

Ha ha ha! But seriously. If you've been reading this blog since the very early days (thank you), you've survived my longstanding fascination with SL aquariums. It started with a big boxy one I got at a yardsale and evolved into a lower prim one I could slap on a wall, and I think there were other fish tanks here and there, but THIS ONE KICKS SO MUCH ASS I HAVE TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS LIKE THIS WITH AN EXCLAMATION POINT AT THE END!

It's included in the Cy Haven skybox (compact version, 176 prims, 20x20x18m) from Xen Style. I wish I could claim the honor of discovering it, but I saw it over on Exploring SL with Dido and screamed, "GIMME THAT!"

Go over there and look at Dido's pictures, because mine are surprisingly bad.

And yeah, I know it's a skybox, but whatever:

Now it's a kind-of-ugly-on-the-outside, very-cool-on-the-inside house. Don't be enticed by the swirly winter tree design. I covered the giant Xen Style logo with a couple of flat black prims and then covered those with a $1L First Christmas Tree etched glass prim from Q's Garden of Glass on Marketplace. I am nothing if not resourceful. And see! I knew my ability to make a prim would come in handy one day! I can build! I can build!

Besides the aquatic wall, this multilevel, texture-baked, massively detailed skybox is furnished with a dining counter, couches, shelving, central-control computer terminal, other sci-fi looking stuff . . . and a holographic boyfriend (or girlfriend, depending on your preference. Or you could have a holographic solar system. Or you can choose absolutely nothing. But why do that?).

Dance, bitch, dance!

Ambient sounds, visual effects and menu-driven material variants (that means the furniture is texture-change) complete your living experience. (Can you tell I had a brief stint writing for a real estate magazine in RL?)

The best news? Everything is LINKED! Thank God!!! I love you, (creator) Xenius Revere! (Oh wow, looks like he's pretty hot in RL, actually. Maybe I really do love him.)

Oh yeah, and it's a mere 4000L.

*passes out* I can't even read that sentence without feeling woozy. Let's pretend it only cost me 500L. I'm officially living on a budget from now on, kids, at least until March.

There's a larger version for 5000L (254 prims, 20x30x18m) and now I kind of wish I would have bought that one. It's roomier. Oh well.

The fantastic news for all you aquarium fanatics is that Xen Style sells the beyond-awesome fish tank separately for 500L.

We don't have to rip our house down to have a good time. Oh no!

It's only 16 prims (!!!) with texture-baked light, particle-effect bubbles, low-lag animated fish and "relaxing ambient sound." (Yeah, I took all that info straight from the vendor.)

In other news, break out the champagne because . . . drumroll . . .

EVERYBODY'S PREGGERS!!!!!!

*looks around sheepishly* Yeah, I bought a few more cats. And now all the females are knocked-up.

Remember when we all had chickens? I wonder if this is going to be like the chicken thing, when my chickens kept procreating to the point where every new egg forced me to delete more furniture, until finally my parcel was just a lone chair surrounded by a bunch of chickens. And then one day, I poured myself a stiff vodka and soda (with two limes), tossed it back, shed a few tears and slaughtered what seemed like about 80 chickens. It was tragic. I vowed never to love another horny, pixelated animal again. And now this. Sigh.

Let's end this post with a plea:

I'm not kidding you when I say that I've been trying to win this Neon Frog zebra every time it's been in this board since 2010. (Look how dejected and defeated my AV looks.) It's my own elusive great white whale (wail). The board is only at 26/140 now, but the day is still young! If you have a minute, please go slap it!! Slap it HERE.

GET IT INWORLD:
Xen Style
Q's Garden of Glass 1L special on Marketplace
Wildwood Breedables
Skin: Lionheart skin in Bloodgeisha (Fable tone) by The Plastik
Dress: Tomoko dress in red by FallnAngel Creations
Hair: Jolie (my new favorite) in Chocolate by Truth

Posted Jan. 15, 2011

Well, hell

2011-01-08T19:54:00.000-08:00

Soooooo . . .

I look like I just fell off the tranny train in these new Stiletto Moody skins.

I've been seeing other not-so-flattering pictures of this True Beauty skin collection recently, but I was hoping it would be different for me. I was hoping I'd put it on and look fabulous. Alas, not the case. Or who knows? I did see a few makeups that didn't look like a drag queen's wet dream, but the demo folder only has this one color in it. And even if I *could* try on all the makeups, I'm still not sure if I'd be able to really see them through all the GRAFFITI on my FACE.

I'm kind of waiting for Stiletto Moody to jump out and scream, "APRIL FOOL!!!!"

(Or is it "Fools"? Or "Fool's"? Shoot.)

In other "Damn, This Skin Looks Like Crap on Me" news, I saw the Dimbula Rose lucky board skins over on the Lucky Kitty Crew blog and I've been stalking all five of them ever since. I finally won the Dark Fold skin I really wanted, and . . .

:-\

Let's just slap some rabbit ears on me and call it a day.

Hey, look at my shirt in that pic. Or try to look at it. Lately I've been having this problem where only one part of my body stays rezzed at a time. If I were to hit "Rebake" in that scenario up there, the shirt would sharpen and my face would blur out. It is, hands down, one of the most irritating things to happen to me in SL. And yes, I've cleared my cache. I'm worried that one day I'm going to get confused and suggest that as a real-life solution to something. "I woke up this morning and my face was completely broken-out." "That sucks — did you try clearing your cache?"

As long as we're on a skin roll:

The Plastik has this killer LionHeart skin as its Serial Killer Hunt prize, pardon the pun. The prize includes the matching ears and a few pairs of eyes, including the ones in this pic. Yes, please! (There's a guy's skin in there too.)

I don't really have much going on these days. I bought this Dancing Christopher Walken (100L) at a store called Cheese on the Cioccolata sim. I rezzed him in my yard to check him out and now I can't catch the slippery bastard. It is hilarious and horrifying at the same time.

That is messed up.

I also got some breedable cats. I didn't even know they were making breedable cats. I'm hopelessly out of the whole breedables loop now without The Chicken Diaries blog. I'm still waiting for breedable people, though. Little breedable people that we can keep in cages and force to copulate. It would be like virtual porn within virtual porn.

This is Ramone. The female is named Cruella. Unlike Ramone, who curls up and sleeps like a cute little cartoon cat, Cruella walks around while she's asleep.

File under "Yet Another Thing in My Yard that Scares the Bejeezus out of Me."

Soon they'll start procreating. Holler if you want a kitten.

GET IT IN WORLD!
Stiletto Moody
Dimbula Rose lucky boards: HERE and HERE
The Plastik
Dancing Christopher Walken at Cheese
Wildwood Breedables store and Website
Hair: Jolie in Pearl by Truth
Outfit: Silvery Whisp by Curious Kitties
Wings: The New Daylight in Silver by MeKa
Jewelry: Snowstars set by Tekeli-li
Boots: Bax Prestige Boots in Silver by Bax Coen Design

The island of misfit pictures

2011-01-02T10:51:00.000-08:00

Every day I get hundreds of notecards that say, "Emerald, we simply cannot live without your photography. You need a lot more pictures in your blog posts. Give us more, more, more!"

OK. Sadly, here are a few pictures that had nowhere to live in 2010. Let's give them a big hug and make them feel better.

Hell yeah, Barbie is a slut and I'm too sexy for you, zombie boy. (Skin: Sophie demo at Mynerva; T-shirt from Beauty Killer.)

Am I the only one who prudishly checks under my skirt before I fly?

You can leave your shoes on. (I heart butt-naked men standing in the middle of women's stores.)

I don't know these ladies, but I spent about three hours staring at a lucky board with them. We look like a band of perfectly groomed superheroes. Or a very lovely street gang in Narnia. And yes . . .

The lucky board platform at Caverna Obscura is one of the best places to people-watch on the grid. Do not even try showing up in jeans and a T-shirt or someone will beat you senseless with a wing and a magic wand.

And the award for Most Awesome Abuse of a Van Gogh Painting goes to . . . [name omitted because I'm nice and I kind of like this store].

I think I'm gonna pass on this one.

I'm the one in the air, trying to get away from that tattooed chick who was oh-so-adept at chasing my AV around this push-enabled store and shoving me into walls. When this kind of thing happens, I turn on my camera's sound and start taking tons of bad pictures. Click click click click click.

[2010/12/15 21:32] Cacey McAndrews: i don't understand why you wanted to take my picture!
[2010/12/15 21:33] Emerald Wynn: I took several pics of you pushing me around the store
[2010/12/15 21:33] Emerald Wynn: to go with the AR I'm filing against you
[2010/12/15 21:33] Cacey McAndrews: i was just trying to say hi to :(
[2010/12/15 21:33] Emerald Wynn: sure you were

I sounded like Clint Eastwood in that last sentence.

Her butt crack was showing, too. If you're gonna try to grief me, at least dress appropriately, particularly because you might become blog material.

Meadow Breeze 2.0 gown by Caverna Obscura. It was my original pick for the 52 Weeks of Color: Blue post before I decided to pimp myself out instead. Speaking of, I'm hopelessly behind in that challenge. Somebody get me an outfit with cerise, yellow, green and silver, please. P.S. A complete stranger gave me that hair garland. She said something like, "That dress is really pretty — this will match it." I'm such a sap, I got a little teary when it happened. People ARE inherently good! They are, they are!

Dear VoguE, I had to delete two trees and a chair before I could rez and unpack your 18-prim bag. I forgive you though. Love, Em.

I'm a big damn fan of A Touch of Ireland. A big damn fan, I tell you, primarily because they saturate my monitor with so much joyous color. (Hey, this dress is green. Check one color off my list of late color challenge posts.) The Christmas Goat is feeling it too.

. . . actually, the more I look at this picture, the more I want this pink slasher latex catsuit. Don't tell anyone. (The hood is a tattoo layer!)

Someday I'll look back on this picture and think, "Maybe I should've toned down the whole Christmas Spirit thing a little." (Holly Faerie Outfit - Nice by Caverna Obscura.) (Magical Christmas Killer Whale is magical.)

I love the store Meb as much as the next person, but if any of you ever see me wearing these "Touch Me" jeans, I do want you to touch me — in the face. As in, slap it. Hard.

This post was hard for me to write. My parents got me two kittens for Christmas. Confidentially among us friends, I wasn't ready for two new cats yet. In fact, I was looking forward to NOT being a cat lady for a while. IN FACT, I was fantasizing about getting a dog — one that I could jog with and walk in dog parks and use as a lure to meet robust, good-looking men with dogs. And then our dogs could fall in love and we could fall in love and everything would be like a Meg Ryan movie. Sigh.

But now I have a mostly white kitten named Clover and a completely black one named Felix. And both of them wanted to WALK ALL OVER THIS KEYBOARD while I was typing this post. At one point I almost said, "To hell with it," and let them.

This post was almost titled, "What the cats wrote."

WANT SOME OF THAT STUFF UP THERE? GET IT HERE:
Mynerva
Beauty Killer
Caverna Obscura (keep TPing up the tree to get to the members-only lucky boards)
A Touch of Ireland
Meb

My mermaid brings all the boys to the yard

2011-01-01T22:17:00.000-08:00

Hey, I bought a mermaid today! She swims around! And she scares the bejeezus out of me!

But we'll get to her later. To be honest, I just wanted to start this post with something other than a picture of my upper torso. Like this one:

The Frost Queen dress (800L) and (FREE!) Winter Spirit Azil skin (several tones included) are from Curious Kitties. The hair (crown included) is a group gift from ploom.

For the fashion, home decor and landscaping alone, winter is my favorite season in SL. I'm going to look icy until March, kids, for I am Empress Emerald of Emerald's Iceland! Bow down in servitude and suck my icicles!

I think taking a picture in an icy dress, icy hair and icy skin against an icy background is the best idea I've had in 2011.

:-\

Oh, Happy New Year, by the way! I haven't blogged in a while because I've hated my last few posts. So whoops, I didn't write a Christmas post. And speaking of Christmas, today I started clearing my yard of all the holiday stuff so I could transform it into a winter wonderland . . . but then I quickly lost interest and decided to go shopping instead. As such, my yard is currently rocking a Chronicles of Trailer-Trash Narnia vibe. Oops.

Fairies and unicorns and goats, oh my!

Can you find the rearing unicorn in that picture? Back in the day I used to inspect people's clothing, but these days I find myself inspecting more objects. I'll see some cool decor in a store or a yard somewhere and want it for myself. So when I saw the unicorns in Copley Square today, I screamed, "WHO MADE THOSE THINGS?" and checked. It turned out to be Kim Lefavre of Sa'ng Fori Design.

I hustled over there and bought this riding unicorn (1100L) - YEEEEEHAW!

Hey, that snowman is not that bad, considering I drew it with my finger on a mousepad. (That red thing is a scarf.)

I also bought this Ice Fairy (fairy is 18 prims, ice is 3 prims, 500L) and the aforementioned rearing unicorn (16 prims, 450L) behind her.

God, I feel like this is one of those haul videos, but in long droning prose. "Look at this and look at this and OMG look at this other stuff I bought!" Sorry. This is why I don't blog very often anymore.

If you happen to be a holiday slacker like I am and you're still gathering up some very, very, very belated Christmas presents, Sa'ng Fori's small Light Fairies (15 prims, 450L) are trans and fly around shining a lovely light. They're available in green and white. I bought one for my friend Gwen because she lights up my life. *insert the wailing of Debbie Boone here* And then I bought the green one for me.

Pretty. And thank God, she doesn't look a thing like Nicole Kidman.

And now, cue the 'Jaws' music and let's get to the mermaid.

HELP! I want my mommy!

To clarify, this is not me. It's a prim person that moves. A little unsettling, huh? Don't get me wrong — she's 17 prims of pure win or I wouldn't have spent 500L on her. If you go over to Sa'ng Fori — and I highly recommend that you do, if only just to look at the vast selection of fantastical creatures, fantasy AVs, all kinds of animated and static people, Gorean animals (I have no idea), domestic animals, everything you need to make a medieval village and so much more — you'll see that this mermaid looks kickin' in the lake there. I'm just not coordinated enough to get her to work in my lame, homemade pond.

And unfortunately there's something about her face and her wobbly "I just clawed my way out of a watery grave and I'm on my way to kill you" swimming style (my fault for not rezzing her properly) that gives me the heebie-jeebies.

Look at that face. It's the face of a creature who wants you to die a horrible death. She looks like Heroin-Addict Mermaid, rising up out of the water to bitch-slap me with her tail, slit my throat and run off with my lindens in search of her next fix.

However, some of my neighbors saw her from a distance today and thought she was ME flopping around my yard as a mermaid AV. That alone was awesome enough to make up for the creepy factor.

I think I'll keep her. (She has trans perms, BTW.)

ALL THIS AND MORE CAN BE YOURS
Sa'ng Fori Design (inworld)
or browse Sa'ng Fori's store on Marketplace
Curious Kitties, and the free skins are HERE

I feel pretty, oh so pretty

2010-12-20T22:58:00.000-08:00

Sorry. Just trying to live up to my reputation of "that blogger who starts every post with a picture of her face." (And depending on the season, a gingerbread house.)

Thank you to all the lovely people who expressed condolences about my lost shape. I Frankensteined a new one by combining a body I liked from Shapes by Kira with a face I liked from a shape by [Muted] and then tweaking things here and there to match some measurements of my alt, because thank God, I gave her almost the same face as Emerald Wynn. And then Alexx Usbourne from Shape it Up! made me cry (in a good way) when she gave me an Emerald Wynn shape that she created by looking at pictures in this blog. Wow, that was an extraordinarily kind to do — SEE, I'm tearing up all over again just thinking about it. I've never even met Alexx. *sniff*

So now I'm all set, as far as shapes go. Knock on wood.

This time I gave Emerald fuller lips, slightly more slanted eyes and a boob job. SHE'S PRETTY! All the pretty-AV haters can go ahead and hate. There's nothing wrong with wanting to have a pretty avatar. In real life, I have stringy hair, a huge snaggly once-broken nose that never got fixed, stubborn unsightly melasma and the world's flattest chest. I feel embarrassed and sad and forever alone when I look in a mirror, and I would rather get a root canal than get my picture taken. This, my friends, is the only chance at pretty that I'll ever get. I get irritated when people post snarky SL Secrets or mock people with traditionally pretty avatars. Forgive me if I don't feel like staring at a pixel reproduction of my wonky face and shapeless body. If I wanted to do that, I'd just go find a Mokey from 'Fraggle Rock' AV.

Sorry. It's the holidays and I'm a little hormonal right now. *climbs off the rant box and puts away the violin*

But I didn't come here to write about my face.

Unfortunately we only have five days left until Christmas. *passes out* I went a little overboard with buying Christmas gowns and Christmas decor this year. I did the math today and I'd have to change clothes and houses three times a day for the next five days to use it all. Oops.

I like this Naughty and Nice Gown by BlakOpal. Actually I love almost all the clothes at BlakOpal. If I could afford it, I'd wear them every day. Or at least every other day. They're a little out of my price range though, so much so that I was pleasantly surprised when I checked the price tag on this gown and it was 'only' 450L.

Look at the gorgeous detailing:

Woo.

I'm actually wearing this dress with a burgundy corset undershirt layer that I found in my 125K inventory. (And THAT is why I have a hard time throwing things away.) Because, um, without it . . .

Hubba.

That's not blood on my neck. It's what jewelry looks like now in my V2 viewer. Things like delicate silver chains are dead to me now. Let's pause for a moment of respectful silence and remember them fondly.

. . . pause. . .

I also like the atmosphere of cautious optimism that pervades BlakOpal's Bundle Up Winter Store:

Gentlemen, this menswear is possibly festive.

I laugh every time I look at that sign. It's full of WTF joy.

But enough about me. Let's talk about you. BlakOpal has some free gifts for you at its Winter Store, like a scarf, some mittens - dot dot dot - and this guy:

"YOU DON'T GNOME ME!" (Reindeer leg not included.)

The awesome thing about this free holiday gnome is that it's full-perm. So you can fill your yard with hundreds of them. Or you can annoy the hell out of your friends by throwing gnomes in their inventories while you sing, "If you don't gnome meeee byyyyy nowwwwwww, you will never never never gno-o-ome me, oooooooh!" (Just brace yourself for awkward silence after you do it.)

Soooooo, I had to uninstall Second Life tonight because I'm back to crashing every time I log in. I give up. YOU ALL WIN. After I reinstall it and get through this holiday season, I'll commit myself to cleaning out my 125K inventory. I wanted to get it up to 200K. It was on my bucket list and everything. But apparently an inventory this large causes performance problems. I thought it was just an old wives' tale. I was wrong.

And twist.

GO GET YOU A GNOME AND A SHAPE AND A DRESS AND STUFF:
BlakOpal Bundle Up Winter Store
BlakOpal Main Store
Shape it Up!
[Muted] (I hear it's called Mocha now.)
Shapes by Kira

Bathe me in buttercream (or "Don't touch my cake!")

2010-12-20T00:16:00.000-08:00

I know you're looking at this pic and thinking, "What the holy hell??" but in a few minutes you'll understand. I promise.

Here are just a few things I collect in Second Life:
- Virgin Mary kitsch (and the sacred too)
- Unicorns (I liked them waaaaay before they went mainstream, as in, when I was 8)
- Last Call outfits (how original of me)
- Anything by Random Calliope (even though I've given up on trying to complete his rare and ultra-rare Ode sets)
- Neon Frog's menagerie
- Dia de Los Muertos stuff
- Illegal Hello Kitty paraphernalia (even though I'm resigned to the sad reality that one day LL probably will yank it all from my inventory)
- And CAKES!

(Lady Jaquelene, 650L, from the Eat Me Bakery and Cupcakery. GORGEOUS!)

When I spot a Second Life cake that turns me on, people around me get frightened. Why? Because there's a pretty good chance that I'm going to snatch it, jump up and down for a minute, and then run around screaming, "LOOK AT MY CAKE! OH MY GAHHHHHHHH, LOOK AT THIS AWESOME CAKE!! LOOK AT IT! . . . . Oh, would you like a piece? . . .

"WELL THAT'S TOO FREAKIN' BAD — GET YOUR OWN! THIS ONE IS MINE. MINE MINE MINE!"

(And you thought my bold all-caps days were over. Occasionally I break them out for special occasions.)

So I'm sure you can imagine the multiple cakegasms I had when I discovered creator Ambrose Steampunk's Eat Me Bakery and Cupcakery.

(So much for my attempt to photograph several of his cakes. Oops.)

I discovered this bakery during The Silk Road Hunt. Because Ambrose is a man of many cakes (actually he's a fawn/fae of many cakes), and as such, an Emerald Wynn magnet, I chased him down and grilled him about his life.

Ambrose has mad culinary (and artistic) skills in RL. Upon arriving in SL almost two years ago, he was disappointed by the quality of much of the food. Instead of bitching about it — which sadly is what I would probably do — he decided to do something about it and create cuisine that's more up to his standards. I'm so glad he did.

NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT YOU: Specifically, let's talk about why you need to boogie on over to the bakery's Armada Breakaway location and slap this MM board. Don't do it for me. Do it for you. And if you don't make it over there today, no worries. This prize will be in this board through the holidays.

(This picture is exciting.)

The item in the board (only 75 slaps needed - ARE YOU KIDDING ME???) is called A Holiday Feast. I paid the full price of 950L for it . . . and the next day it became an MM board giveaway. Before you express condolences, WAIT! In the old days, I'd be sobbing and facepalming right now, but my attitude has evolved. I'm glad I paid for it. We need to support our creators as much as we can. It hurts that so many awesome ones have recently closed shop.

(The Armada Breakaway location also has lucky gifts under the tree. The above Lady Jaquelene cake is a prize in one of them.)

This Holiday Feast is not just a table adorned with attractive food; it's a magical menu-driven dining experience for you and your friends. So join me, won't you, as I randomly pop up in some of my friends' chat windows and sweet talk them away from dance clubs, photo shoots, and much more exciting lives than mine. Thank you Saranac, Sophia and Joonie for agreeing to be the latest victims of my horrible photography skills.

The table cloth is texture change. And depending on the setting/course, it's 36 to 177 prims. The chairs are by Yelena Istmal of Noctis, another one of my favorite creators/stores.

Click the centerpiece candelabra to access the menu and begin your meal. Select "First Course" and before your eyes, plates of Stilton cheese drizzled with wildflower honey and accented with fresh strawberries appears. The sweetness of the honey nicely cuts through the sharpness of the cheese and blends harmoniously with the berries:

Laughter. If you were impressed by my culinary knowledge up there, don't be. The table told me all that. It tells you and your guests what it's serving, why, and how each of its five courses has been prepared.

I thought about showing you pics of us eating every course, like this fourth entree course of plump, roasted Cornish game hen, accented with a rosemary and mission fig glaze. It's served with a hunter sauce alongside roasted garlic whipped potatoes and pan-steamed asparagus:

(We all look sullen and slightly annoyed with each other for some reason. "Don't talk to me! I'm eating!")

Or the dessert course — a red velvet Napoleon, featuring stacks of airy red velvet cake and decadent cream cheese icing, presented with fondant holly sprigs and topped with a traditional herringbone chip. A piping-hot latte offers a relaxing way to end this flavorful journey.

(Joonie the Christmas Reindeer explains to us why she has a cute little band-aid on her nose.)

But damn, that would be a lot of similar and, as such, tedious (not to mention bad) pictures in a row.

So I'm glad I didn't do that.

(All meal descriptions courtesy of the table.)

So YES — a 950L feast can be all yours for a mere slap on a board. Get out your slapping hand and start flexing it! If you do want to purchase this table as a holiday gift for the foodie in your life, it has trans perms.

I'm still trying to stick to my gift guide theme, so here's one of the Eat Me Bakery's 100L trans items in the 200-store Twisted Krissmuss gift tour:

Cake in a snowglobe!!!! And you know what? This time I'll let you have a slice because -

Oh my GAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW! Each slice is in its own snowglobe!! *faints with ecstasy*

And finally, as for the picture at the top of this post, that's one of several cupcakes (75L to 100L) at Eat Me, which actually has "Bakery and Cupcakery" in its name, but I'm pushing 40 and I work 14-hour days and frankly I'm too damn tired to type "Cupcakery" over and over. Sorry.

I tried to get the key turning at just the right angle in this Clockwork Cupcake photo (100L, trans), but I couldn't coordinate it with the leaping of the magical killer Christmas whale in the background. And unfortunately, whale trumps cupcake key.

Um, I absolutely love the artistic value in these cupcakes, but they look a little bit like S&M ball gags for kinky bakers. ("You've been a BAD BOY, Adam Lambert. I'm going to tie you up with Twizzlers, shove this cupcake in your mouth, drizzle hot simple syrup all over your thighs and beat you with my whisk until you beg for mercy and my sweet, sweet muffin. THAT'S what I want from you, you glittery biz-atch. But first . . . let me put my apron on.")

I think I would kind of suck as a dominatrix. I don't even remember what we were talking about now. OH YEAH! Cupcakes. Here are a few when they're not shoved in someone's mouth:

When you've got one in your mouth and someone else touches it, it emotes:

"Leaning in, Emerald Wynn takes a bite of the Steamuffin just as Emerald Wynn does the same! A sweet cloud envelops the two in sweet bliss."

:-\

Well, yeah. Two people actually have to be involved in the flirty cupcake dialogue. Although that solo Steamuffin romance sounds about right these days. Yes, I'm single ATM. Go ahead, rub it in while you can, Cupcake. Soon you'll be moving through my digestive tract, and trust me there are no 'sweet clouds' to envelop you in there.

This post seems long. I bet if I removed a few bad pictures, it wouldn't be that bad. But I don't want to. In fact, let's end this post with a parade of "OMG LOOK AT THESE CAKES!!!":

The Tell Tale Heart Cake, 550L. Inspired by Poe. (The author, not the hunt.) I think that heart actually beats.

Created for the grand opening of the Nevermoor sim, where Eat Me's other location lives.

This one is gorgeous and also on display at Nevermoor's landing point. Actually . . . I really hope it's a cake. If it's a plant, I'm going to feel pretty stupid.

I'm waiting for Ambrose to make a unicorn.

Speaking of cake fantasies, the Eat Me Bakery and Cupcakery takes custom cake orders, starting at 700L. Just contact Ambrose Steampunk in world.

GET YOUR CAKE ON:
Eat Me Bakery and Cupcakery at Armada Breakaway (Midnight Mania board and Lucky Presents are located here.)
Eat Me Bakery and Cupcakery at Nevermoor
Eat Me Bakery on Marketplace (Lag-free browsing through pictures of cakes that are way the hell better than my pictures)

ALSO FEATURED
Skin: Mynerva's Sophie in Smokey Red
Icy eye makeup tattoo layer: Miamai_LesMakeups in Yuki01
Eyes: Daydream Eyes in Cauldron Grey (bought on Marketplace)
Hair: Truth - Leighton in Caramel
Gown: League - Burlesque Rose, Yuletide Edition

Panic at the disco

2010-12-18T17:54:00.000-08:00

(I'm not really at the disco.)

Sooooo yesterday I ran around as this Gingerbread Girl AV (350L) from A Touch of Ireland. Some people saw it and clapped. Others saw it and screamed. I wore it partly because it's fun and partly because I'm working on a blog post about how I don't think A Touch of Ireland gets enough credit for being awesome. (There's also a Gingerbread Man, 360L. They're both trans, so buy one for the silly cookie-lover in your life.)

But today I wanted to be a real girl again. So I stripped off all the gingerbread stuff and opened up my "Essential Emerald Wynn" folder . . . AND MY SHAPE IS GONE. IT'S GONE! OMG IT'S GONE!!!!

That's pretty much what's repeating in my head right now, over and over like a broken record. A scary record. Like, a Halloween record. With screams and wails and such.

The whole folder is gone. My normal shape. My skirt shape. My big boob shape. My small boob shape. My short shape. My pregnant shape. My Emerald's Sultry Face shape. My Gracie's Model Wannabe shape. Backup copies of each shape. THEY'RE ALL GONE.

The shape was from old-school RaC, but modded to my liking. At first I thought maybe it was so old that it just up and died, but my other RaC shape folders are there. So I looked everywhere. I did an inventory search by name. I looked in other nearby folders. I looked in the trash. I even looked in my Lost and Found folder, which was stupid. ("Hi, we found your shape lying around in our store so we returned it to your Lost and Found folder. Please clean up after yourself next time.")

Sooooooo . . . it would have been smart if I would have WRITTEN DOWN MY DIMENSIONS in preparation for a disaster like this one, huh? But I never did. Lazy lazy lazy lazy!! I tweaked my shape so many times, I gave up on recording my measurements.

Hey, check out the feet on this gingerbread AV:

Awesome. Suddenly I'm starving.

OK, so I've logged off in the hopes that when I log back in, my shape and its many versions will be back. I mean, where do things go in Second Life when they just vanish? My Paradise Pet cat Dewey (and all the backup copies of her) vanished from my inventory earlier this year. And someone griefed my parcel this summer and cranked the elevation of my land up to nine million feet, which sent my Modest House Blue Orchid house, my ocean sound rock, all my little singing birds and many other things I loved into outer space, never to return.

Just humor me for a minute, please, as I throw one last tantrum:

"WTF LINDEN LAB?? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY??? You could have had anything. You could have taken it ALL! My Last Call collection. My Stiletto Moodys. My beloved Alchemy Immortalis folder. My fish tanks. My dinosaur. The Bunny. . . . wait, not The Bunny, actually. All my Neon Frog animals. Even all my skins. But not my shape! ANYTHING BUT MY SHAPE!!!"

Wow. I'm going to have to start all over again. Emerald Wynn as we know her is gone. I'm mainly mourning the face. Hell, I used to mess around with my body measurements all the time anyway. But once I got my face the way I liked it, it was sacred. And there's no way I'm going to remember how to create that same face again. I'm stunned. Just stunned.

I hope we've all learned a valuable lesson from this incident, kids. If you like your shape, write down all the measurements somewhere. I'm sure 99 percent of you do this. I just never thought something this tragic would happen to me. I never really took my shape that seriously . . . until it vanished. *weeps*

Pause for a gingerbread butt shot:

HAHAHA! That peppermint is cute. I guess I could be a gingerbread girl forever. It would sure save a lot of shopping money.

Anyway. Ugh. Can someone please start by sending me the head dimensions for Truth hair?

I'm gonna go make some hot chocolate. And brownies.

VISIT IN WORLD: A Touch of Ireland

'What the hell is a wireframe?' (PMS + tutorial!)

2010-12-17T13:07:00.000-08:00

Can someone please check out this chick's AO and answer my deep burning question, "What is it called and for the love of God, WHY?"

Don't get me wrong — she's cute. I like her headphones or her earmuffs or whatever those things are, and she's rocking some snazzy red sweatpants. But is there an AO out there called, "Hey, check out my ruby red ass"? I'm currently in the throes of some agonizing PMS, and it only took a few minutes of looking at this girl's butt in this position before I wanted to kick it.

I shot that pic while I was on a hunt. So let's talk about something else that's bugging the crap out of me, and then I'll show you some helpful pics that could turn you into a Hunt Goddess/God. (You might want to skip the bitching and go straight to the Tutorial section.)

Ready?

Step away from the landing point.

You would think with all the annoying gestures out there, someone would make one called, "BITCH, MOVE!" (If there's one that exists, please let me know.)

During this season of 9,000 hunts, I can't tell you how many people I've landed on during the past few days. Nothing bugs me more than TPing into a store and flailing around in the air for a while like a queen dork because someone is standing there zoning out at the landing point. Shauna Skye made me laugh over on her awesome Moonletters blog with her post, "Get off the Landing Point," and accompanying pics. (Although, what the hell? She looks way cooler than I do when she flails.)

When you TP into a location, please take a couple of steps back, front, to the side, whatever works for you, and then you can space out, wander away from your computer, make some nachos, fix a drink, milk a cow, or whatever you may need to do afk all you want. Please. Thank you.

I'll admit, I don't get as passionately angry about this problem as I used to because some of you may recall Halloween, when I crashed and left a half-dressed, creepy-looking ghosted AV at Mynerva's landing point for six hours. I can't imagine how many people landed on me and cursed my name that day.

Photo courtesy of Sophia Harlow, who valiantly went over there with her husband and beat my ghosted AV with big stick in an attempt to get her to go away. Didn't work, but hilarious pics. *shudder*

And as long as we're talking about hunts, can someone please solve a seemingly age-old mystery for me? If a hunt sign says a hunt lasts from, say, "Nov. 26 to Dec. 17," I assume it means we have until the end of Dec. 17 to finish it, not the beginning, yes?? Last night, there was some group discussion— with a couple of snark comments thrown in for good measure — over whether the With Love hunt ended at 11:59 p.m. Dec. 16 or 11:59 p.m. Dec. 17. It was tiring. People who talk as if they know everything when really they know absolutely nothing make me tired. So did that sentence.

For the record, I finished the second half of that hunt this morning (which is Dec. 17, since this damn blog template has no dates), so get out there and spend 880L to finish it today if you're so inclined. (Yes, when you do the math, it's kind of like getting a bucket of ice water thrown in your face, BUT the 10L prizes are worth it. Really, they are.)

OK, the bitching is now officially over. Sorry. Let's move on to . . .

TUTORIAL, or HERE'S THE PART WHERE I ATTEMPT TO TEACH SOMETHING

Many hunts have some challenging moments that evoke frustrated screams. I was talking with a friend the other day and said, "That [aRAWRa] prize was impossible for some reason — I finally had to break out the wireframe." She said, "What's that? I don't think I have a wireframe."

Oh yes you do, honey! You have it and with a little help from me, you can wield your wires like a Jedi master!

**optional ending** Many people already know this stuff. If so, just stop reading here. **end optional ending**

When a hunt stop leaves you crumpled up in a fetal position and sobbing, you can get all ninja on its ass by using wireframe. Here's how. (Apologies in advance for getting the bright idea to take these how-to pics after I was already IN wireframe.)

1. Pull up your Advanced menu. The latest version of Viewer 2 includes this option in Preferences (Advanced tab). Or, on Mac, hit Ctrl+Option+D. On a PC, press Ctrl+Alt+D.

2. Scroll down and check "Show Develop Menu":

3. In the Develop menu, select "Rendering," then move to the submenu and check "Wireframe":

Congratulations! You've just reduced your world to a bunch of lines! The next time your SLife gets a little heavy or drama-laden, repeat after me: "We're just a bunch of lines. That's all we are. A bunch of lines."

In wireframe, prims will be more densely populated with lines. (I bet there's a more technical term for "lines" too.) And you can still walk around and do everything you usually do in your solid existence. So in this case, we're using wireframe in a desperate attempt to find the Zombie Popcorn3 item at iPoke:

THERE IT IS!

Granted, sometimes you'll need some cam skills to tour your wireframed world. Or you can move from room to room and search wireframe in each one. Whatever works. You can select the item and buy it in wireframe, or turn your world back to normal and run over there like you're a champion in "Chariots of Fire."

Here's the above shot of that hunt item as it looks in SL:

I can upload this pic and frame it for you as a Christmas gift, if you'd like. Just let me know.

Sorry this blog post was so short and sedate.