I have substance, I swear

My yard is sexy looking.

I like to tell people that if you're feeling depressed about your photography skills, just come on over to this blog, and if you're feeling depressed about your terraforming skills, just come on over to my yard.

You'll feel much better.

My God, and when you put them BOTH in one picture, it's sort of like the universe implodes while your eyeballs fry!

Hey, have you ever done a search for "facelight" in your inventory? I haven't worn a facelight in years, but I thought maybe if I slapped one on in this photo, it would add some dimension to the lighting or something. (Fail.) Holy cow. I think I have about 3,000 facelights. I contemplated deleting all of them, but damn, that would take hours. My inventory is at 165K and counting right now. So I guess if you're feeling depressed about your inventory, you can come on over to my place and laugh at my 3,000 facelights and probably feel much better about that too.

Anyway, all day long, people have been saying to me, "Awww, you're just a white, glowy blob today!" That's mystifying because I'm not even wearing mesh. I hate it when I take the time to carefully dress my AV in a spiffy fall outfit, only to have people say, "I can't seeeeeeee youuuuuuu!"

Um, so here's some proof that I did in fact get dressed this weekend. Frankly, I wrote this post just to get rid of that gawd-awful Halloween picture at the top of the page. It was fun, but it becomes an eyesore if you look at it for longer than two minutes. Soon I'll write another post to bump down this newest gawd-awful picture. It's like the circle of bad-picture life over here.


Yay, we finally get to break out some crispy fall colors. Speaking of crispy, grrrrr, my photos look pixelly as hell. And when I turn on shadows, those glasses disappear. Trippy.

I'm loving this skin that's the Very Important Hunters Hunt (ends 11/30) prize at The Plastik. It includes several makeup options, a ton of tattoo layers and a couple of pairs of eyes. You're looking for a bow. Or a bow tie. Whatever it is, it's very important. Hints and SLURLs of participating creators are HERE.


Thank you, Aikea Rieko! That's lovely!

So, does anyone else get excited about "Dexter" on Sunday nights? I used to be pretty fanatical about that show, but this season seems to be dragging for me for some reason. I got really, really gleeful when I saw this Dexter AV at Death Row Designs though:


(Includes killshirt!) OH MY GOD, YEAH! Now I need to find a guy who'll put this thing on and SLex with me. (Complete Dexter AV, 700L)

I bought the laminated badges for 20L. It's not the same as the complete package (pardon the pun, *WINK*) but I can still wear it and pretend I'm Dexter's girlfriend:


(Um, Debra Morgan? Hell no. She's soooo damn annoying.) Hey, yesterday was the sixth anniversary of Dexter's first day at work!

OK. I'm done. Have a lovely week.

STYLE CREDITS AND STUFF
Hair - LeLutka - Rykiel in Marilyn
Skin - The Plastik - Aleria Nightbringer's Breath in Flush - *FREE* Very Important Hunters Hunt gift #3
Eyes - The Plastik - Senn (Vae Collection) - *FREE* Very Important Hunters Hunt gift #3
Glasses - Le Petits Details - Lady Lord Glasses - *FREE* group gift, free to join
Necklace - Kunglers - OGlam First Birthday/Crisis in the Horn of Africa fundraiser item, 200L, at OGlam Shopping
Scarf - Miel - Fringe Scarf in Leafy, 245L
Top - Rezipsa Loc - Brick Red T-shirt, 75L
Skirt - Les Petit Details - Mina Skirt in Red, 75L for Project Themeory this weekend
Boots - Les Petit Details - Lady boots in Coconut, 250L
And . . .
Dexter AV, Laminate Badges - Death Row Designs
Very Important Hunters Hunt Website (Ends 11/30)

Wearing the blues on Halloween

Whenever I feel lonely and sad, sometimes I'll go to Sigma or some other jewelry store and wander around drooling over all the beautiful things that I usually can't afford. It cheers me up.

That's weird, huh? To me, there's something really calming about cool metals and icy diamonds, or big vibrant gems that stay strong and beautiful even when the world around them is going to hell. And clarity — I love the clarity and the way the light comes alive in a room full of fabulous jewelry. I think Holly Golightly was on to something.

So yeah, tonight the real world is dressing up and going to parties and haunted houses while my pathetic AV is standing around in jewelry stores. Ugh, I'm lonely. Are you listening, Universe? LONELY! I suck at making friends in real life. The people I meet are either very married and glued together at the hip or very frenzied, as in "I'm going to desperately cling to my youth by partying the hell out of every weekend, and by the way, just call me Cougar!" Either way I feel like an oddball around all of them. And I cannot take many more of these holidays alone. I just can't.

GOD I'M FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF TONIGHT! Let's just STOP and look at my Halloween outfit this year. It leans toward the cheerfully obnoxious, and you know I like it like that! Plus, I noticed no one else is blogging about Halloween costumes or orange-and-black clothes, so I figured I'd fill that Halloween-shaped hole in your life.


I was fueled by nostalgia and a craving for whimsy when I bought this Halloween Supreme dress by Fierce, a store I frequented as a noob. HELP, I SAT ON MY EX-BOYFRIEND AND HE'S STUCK IN MY ASS! The spiderweb fascinator, tights and hand wraps are included in this outfit. Skirt can be worn with or without dead boyfriend. Guess how much it costs. A WHOPPING 5L on Marketplace. Not 50. Five. Get it HERE.

Um, but Halloween is already pretty much over, so I'm bummed that I only just found out about it. (I'm totally failing in the "News You Can Use" category right now. Sorry.) Get it anyway. Get it just for the ex-boyfriend ass accessory. Attach it to your Santa suit next month. Or you can do what I did and stick the whole outfit in a folder named "Really Cool 2011 Halloween Stuff — Use in 2012!" Hahaha. Right. Next year there'll be a fresh new jam-packed folder of Halloween stuff, but hey, at least the intention is there. Recycling is good!


Now please join me in exclaiming, "OH MY GAWWWWWW — THOSE BOOTS!" I love them so much and they're free for Miamai group members. Find them outside the store with the pumpkins. I'm not sure how long they'll be there, so RUN! RUN LIKE THE WIND! They're not too Halloweeny to wear past the holiday. Yeah, they've got some spiderwebs on them, but so does my vagina these days and I still occasionally use it.

Oh oops, I failed to mention that they're mesh (the boots, not my bits). Some people, myself included, are on the fence about mesh, but I do LOVE IT in shoes. Yes! Mesh belongs on my feet! Gimme!

Speaking of latex (we weren't, but I needed a segue), you only have a few more days to pick up your limited-edition S&M Dominatrix Cats! Whip not included!


KIDDING! I love them. These are the Halloween Devil Dolls cats from KittyCatS' Haunted Collection, which also includes SkeleCats and Love at First Bite vampire cats. They're available through Nov. 3. I'm too damn exhausted to write about all of them, so go look at the pretty pictures and read about them HERE on the KittyCatS Website.

I know some of you don't do the KittyCatS thing, but if a spooky cat strikes your fancy you can always buy one and feed it Perma-Pet vitamins, which'll transform it into a pet that doesn't need food.

I'm actually feeling a little bit better now. About 30 minutes ago I was on the brink of jumping in my bathtub with an extension cord and a running blowdryer, so thanks for listening!

And now I'm off to try to finish the Zombie Popcorn Hunt, which ends in a few hours. (Ooch.) I'm all about the last-minute thrills.

HEY EMERALD, GIVE US SOME SLURLS AND STUFF!
Sigma
Fierce Halloween Supreme on Marketplace
Miamai
KittyCatS

and:


Skin - [sYs] — Puppet - Dual Skin in Pure, worn with the included Rune tattoo on forehead
Hair - Truth — Cate in Streaked Crow
Necklace — Hangman (I shrunk the hell out of it, sorry) - KOSH, Zombie Popcorn Hunt Prize #23
Eyes - Sterling Artistry — Starlight eyes in Fuchsia Nebula

all the little bourgeois dreams

I wish I had one of these things in real life.


He could teach me how to samba, I could teach him how to Dougie and then we could have hot, bony sex afterward.

I've been trying to do Halloween on a budget this year, but I did splurge on this Mr. Bones You Tease pose prop (485L) from LostAngel. He's got eight smooth Casanova moves, and when you're not making sweet skeletal love to him, he makes for quite a spiffy wall hanging.


Whenever I use any pose from LostAngel it reminds me of an embarrassing noob story. Basically I spent my first year in SL just kind of running around making a complete ass of myself. I also liked to get gussied up in my blangin' high heels and snazzy full-perm duds and hang out at fashion shows. One time [in band camp] at one of these shows, I saw this smokin' hot guy and clicked on him to check out his profile.

But instead of clicking "Profile" I made that OH-SO-EMBARRASSING mistake of accidentally clicking "Add Friend" instead.

I was totally mortified when he accepted my friendship. He probably looked over at my badly modded hair and seizure-inducing shoe bling and took pity. Then I dug the hole of humiliation even deeper by saying, "OMG I'm sorry — I only meant to click Profile." ("Because I'm a total profile perv and I wanted to read all about you and possibly stalk you or at the very least fantasize about you.") But he said, "Too late! We're friends now! :)"

We never talked again after that (I'M SHY), but he never booted me from his friends list either, which was kind of awesome of him. He was Pier Tempel, and later I learned he was one of the original founders of LostAngel. And a model. And an admired photographer. God, I'm such an idiot.

I guess Pier has left SL, according to the LostAngel Industries Web site. But every time I use a LostAngel prop, I remember what a nice guy he was that day. (And his SL AV's ghost still lives on my friends list.)

Let's pause for a spanking.


"Oh Mr. Bones, you tease!"

I'm bummed Halloween is almost over. I had so many things to blog, but my well of creative juices has pretty much run dry. [Or insert some other analogy here. I'm at a loss.] But it wouldn't be Halloween if I didn't at least muster up the will to tell you to go grab some free Halloween T's at terri.tees.


This Pretty Witch tee ("I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!") is part of her prize in the Half-Baked Mini Halloween Hunt (through 10/31). It's hidden in a candy corn. (Hint: Look up, especially if you're feeling cornered.) She also has walls of free Halloween T's back in the Freebie Corner. This year she used images from a vintage monster version of the Old Maid card game. Awesome.

Also wearing: You're a Witchy Star hair/hat (275L for a pack of five colors) by Clawtooth by Clawtooth. The hat is color-change.

I have to go try to finish the Zombie Popcorn Hunt now.

VISIT INWORLD
LostAngel
terri.tees
Clawtooth by Clawtooth

and then she pretty much only blogged about clothes and the whole blog went to hell

Back off or my AV will smack you with her AV man-hand and if that doesn't work, she'll smack you with one of her many, many skeleton hands.


My AV's hands are sized normally, I swear, but for some reason they look really, really drag queen to me these days.

*shrug*

Oh well.

Halloween on a budget. Ready? GO!


The Plumpkin Cottage, 104 prims, by Honey, I'm Home. It's 45L in the Royal Living Magazine Pumpkin Hunt. IT ENDS TODAY! RUN!

Bow down before my total fail attempt at mood lighting.

I love this house so much, I want to bake a cake that looks just like it and eat it.


"My Pumpkin Party Lights are brighter than your sunny disposition" and FREE in the Black Cat Hunt at enLightened, ends Oct. 31.


"Hey, I like that autumny stuff that you spread all over your yard!" Another Royal Living Magazine Pumpkin Hunt prize, 45L, at Urbanized.


"I can't decide if your fake skeleton arms are creepy or kind of cool, but regardless, I can't help but dig 'em." (Arms of Kali by Gilded, 150L, at the Kreepy Kawaii Khaos Halloween Festival.)


"I told you I would never wear a vampire skin, but I lied." (Paige skin in Bite Me by Illusory, 88L at Collabor88.)

"Hey, what else are you wearing?"
Eyes - Banana Banshee - Venus eyes in Caramel, 80L
Dress - Chantkare - Delight Dress, 300L
That Stuff that's in My Hair - Split Pea - Don't talk my heart's not in this, 100L (OK, here's the deal with Split Pea. There are ban lines around it. But who knows - maybe it's just me that's banned. Regardless, you can land HERE and cam in and buy things. I am nothing if not resourceful.)
Hair - Truth - Tess in Burgundy, 250L
Boots (That You Can Barely See) - Deco - Madison Boots in Cherry (MESH ALERT!), 300L
Watch - ISON - Vipera Watch in Onyx, 125L

And your Halloween would not be complete without this darling (purebred) Black Russian girl kitty with (purebred) Fire eyes, Illume shading and Boo Boo tail! A mere 1200L!


Buy her HERE at Em's Juicy Kittens!
(Sorry. Blatant sales pitch. I'm so so so so so so broke. I couldn't help it.)

Mosh pit

Oops.

Soooooo my computer crashed and burned big time. It pretty much screamed, "ENOUGH!" and had a complete meltdown. I know exactly how you feel, little MacBook Pro. *pats it on the head*

Apparently it needed a new fan and some kind of software fix and "blah blah blah blah blah whatever," as my five-year-old niece says every five minutes. (What the hell are they teaching them in kindergarten these days?) I lost everything on my hard drive and didn't have my computer for a while. It was tragic.

When I finally got my computer back and was able to log back in, all my animals were green, or black with red Xs over their eyes, or in a coma (see above). It was kind of sickening, which is a ridiculous thing to say since none of this is real. I ended up only saving the KittyCats and packing up all my other animals into my inventory. I can't afford the Breedables scene anymore. In fact, I can't really afford SL anymore — or at least I CANNOT LIVE THE LIFE TO WHICH I AM ACCUSTOMED HERE! 

(Sorry. I put that in all caps because I was worried people would think I was serious if I typed it normally.)

In any case, I'm trying to put my dysfunctional life back together in RL so I'm cutting way back on my time in world. Or at least I'm trying to. SL is like a sick drug habit that I can't shake. Getting rid of needy animals helps though.

Moving on . . .


[Issoni dress by Chantkare; new Tess hair in Burgundy by Truth; mesh Madison boots in Cherry by Deco; Maia skin in Fauntastic, Cream by Ploom.]

If you live in the States, did your local Target stores get transformed into giant mosh pits full of greedy, grabbing housewives when Missoni launched its collection there? Mine did. People ran in and just grabbed things off the racks without even looking at them. It was horrible. If that's how everyone acts over loud clothes that look like optical illusions, think of what the supermarkets will be like if we ever have a zombie apocalypse.

I can't believe I just used the word "supermarkets." I'm really 75.

The hilarious thing is that the shelves are starting to fill back up with Missoni returns now. Thank God. Tennessee is not the healthiest state. We're more interested in putting gravy on everything than putting low-end, mass-produced, designer-name brands on our bodies. I did not want to see all these fried-butter-eating, buffet-hopping people wearing the same zig-zag horizontal stripes all over town. I really didn't.


I didn't buy into the Missoni hype but I appreciate the fact that Chantkare created this Missoni-inspired Issoni dress to mark the occasion. It's only available on Marketplace and you don't have to bitch-slap your way through a frenzied crowd to get it. Better yet, it's only 50L. It is, however, only available in limited quantities, so if you want it, get it while it lasts HERE CLICK THIS RIGHT HERE.

Hey, look at how hard I've been working to decorate my house:


I call this style "Nostalgic Minimalist." That Rubik's Cube-inspired floor lamp (my God, we're inspired today) will blind you with all kinds of '80s awesomeness. No really, it's bright as hell but worth the burned retinas. I got it at the bright-as-hell store enLightened for 200L.

OK I think I'm done with this post now.

Happy Sunday!

P.S. To top it all off, Blogger has changed its interface. During this difficult transition, the writer is not responsible for whack formatting.

zombeh

"Emerald attempts to take a photo in Suicide City."


Every time I TP there I end up screaming like a little bitch.




It's a mother-effing zombie clown!




FYI: They can jump. And they will push you around.




So much epic fail I can hardly stand it.

I like that estetica pose a lot, but I never want to see it again. (Bollywood!)


Visit Inworld: Suicide City

This was my first time messing around with mesh (the dress and the boots). It was interesting but kind of a hassle. I screwed around with my shape for about an hour to get it to fit the dimensions of this dress and still failed. The included alpha layer was helpful, but there were still places where my shape was bulging out on the sides at first. For instance, I'm just now noticing that my arm is cutting through the sleeve when I pose. Oops. I finally shrunk all my dimensions down to zero (except my arms, apparently) and also had to add a red tank top underneath and blah and blah and blah and blah. Sheeeeeezus this paragraph is boring. Sorry.

That Nocturnal choker is ROCKIN' and it's from one of my favorite places, Bliensen + MaiTai. It'll be available at the upcoming Jewelry Fair 2011, which starts Sept. 16. (See link to the Website below.)

If you want that dress — which was a group gift from Baiastice (thank you, Sissy!) — I checked and it's still in group notices. I have no idea if you have to pay to get in that group because I've been in it since I was a little noob. It's kind of impressive that it has survived the test of time, actually. And on that note, I think we all need to post a "How to Check Group Notices" tutorial because I hear people wailing, "HELP MEEEE! I DIDN'T GET THAT NOTICE!" like the world is ending or something almost every day.

Dress: Runa_First Mesh Dress - Baiastice group gift
Boots: Madison Boots (Mesh) - Deco
Hair (except in photos 3, 5 and 7): Abigail in Pearl - Truth
Necklace: Nocturnal - coming Sept. 16 to Jewelry Fair 2011 - by Bliensen + MaiTai
Eyes: Dreamer eyes in Moonlight - Vision - Eyes by A:S:S
Skin: Layla in Grey - Glam Affair for TDR
Makeup: Sakura - Vita's Boudoir for Help Japan
Pose: Bollywood 5 - Estetica

Get out of my dreams (get into my car)

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."

Amen.

This set of blackboards with various words of wisdom on them is 75L this weekend at Molto Bene. In fact, everything at Molto Bene is 75L or less this weekend. Cute houses, cute skyboxes, cute stuff — that's exciting!

And now, on a WTF note, the award for Keepin' It Classy on 9/11 goes to . . .

-- drumroll --

Natas Designs, for distributing this notecard that made me say, "Whaaaaaaa?":

"FREE BISTRO SET FOR 9/11

Enjoy this darling bistro set for 2 while you remember those who were lost in 9/11."

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . . I'm thinking no.

And it's got an American flag as a tablecloth, nonetheless! Now you can even put your dirty forks and coffee-stained cups on the stars and stripes while you contemplate one of the most horrific days in American history!

I try really hard not to get preachy here, but unfortunately the preacher in me is wailing at this one. Please don't use 9/11 as an excuse to pimp out your stuff. If you're giving out a commemorative T-shirt or something, I can live with that. But a BISTRO set?

That's so damn patriotic, I can hardly stand it.

I'm not running a picture of it. See it for yourself HERE if you so desire. I'm sure people will say that the creator had pure and good intentions behind this gift, and perhaps English isn't her native language. Points noted. And for the record, I actually really like that store. But it still gets a giant "WTF" from me today. Don't put the words "darling bistro set" in the same sentence as "those who were lost in 9/11." Just don't.

[UPDATE: Please note creator Natasha Shoteka's response to this blog post in Comments. She makes valid points and I appreciate the fact that, while sharing her perspective, she did not a) call me names, b) round up a bunch of people to call me more names and drop nasty notecards in my inventory, and c) ban me (and anyone in Comments who agrees with me) from her store. Refreshing! That really is keeping it classy. She pretty much just bitch-slapped me with a big slab of classy . . . and I liked it!]

VISIT INWORLD
Molto Bene!

Goodnight, all you moonlight ladies

There's something about the promise of crisp fall weather around the corner and the thrill of a recent boob job that's making me want to get the hell away from my computer for a while.

Plus, my expendable income is dwindling, particularly since I have no income at the moment.

So I spent the morning packing away almost all my beloved breedables. I clicked "will not renew lease" on five farm parcels and sent almost all my horses to Horse Haven. It's gotten to the point where I can't even GIVE horses away anymore, and the cost of rent, food and salt licks (to keep them happy so they'll procreate) is breaking my budget every week.

I narrowed the Meeroos down to five stumps — soon to be three — and I guess I'll pick 10 KittyCatS to live out their little 120-day lifespans. At least I'm still selling a few of those kittens. I was never out to make a fortune with these things, but I at least need to make SOME money to feed them.

But the Wildwood cats - blah - I just couldn't delete them or even send them to their imaginary "cat sanctuary." The thought of doing it just broke my heart. Isn't that stupid?

I put them in folders in my inventory instead. Yes, they'll starve there and curl up into black, comatose cat circles with red X's for eyes, but at least that way I can lie to myself and say that someday I'll take out my favorite ones and revive them.

Until then, sleep tight my little friends. SL is going to be kind of lonely without you.