It's not easy being green

Sooooooooooooo, kind of an awkward time to be named Emerald.

I feel like I need to do something scandalous, just to live up to the damn name now.

Um. Anyway.



I made up a song while I was shooting the pics for this post. It's called, "I Left Your Punk Ass at the Altar But Not Before I Kicked It With One of Those Stiletto Moodys You Were Always Too Broke to Buy Me And Oh Yeah I Also Spray-Painted 'I'm Gone' on Your Wall . . . Bitch."

I haven't gotten very far on the lyrics. But yeah, this ensemble got me feeling all romantic like that.

When new designer Aradia Jameson dropped this dress in my inventory, she said, "I know it's not your style."

Not true!



If you give me a big foofy white gown and let me rough it up a little with some full-of-fabulous LOULOU & CO. accessories (Asteroid belt and bracelet) and tats (Springtime 1 by The Habitat), then hell yeah it's my style! It might even inspire me to break out the blond hair!

(Hair: Josephine in Champagne by Truth; eyes: Stars in Your Eyes (divine) in Cybele by A:S:S; skin: Cynthia Rose by Mynerva WITH tattoo layer: Smoky Hot Makeup in Pink, Just Eyes by Perfection )

It's true - I haven't been much of a girly girl lately. And I usually do shy away from big white dresses in any world because they remind me of the three sort of hellish times I've been engaged in RL. Oops.

<----- runaway bride

However, for every fashion "never," there's almost always an exception. I like this MaiyaWHITE by VrangWay collection for three main reasons:

1. It's only 75L on XStreet - click HERE.
2. It's not just one dress; it's several looks in one folder. There are eight — count 'em! eight! — ways to wear this outfit - long, short, babydoll, sexy, mermaid, ballroom style, weddingish and . . . shoot, I lose. I can't name them all.
3. All textures are hand drawn by Aradia:



Awesome. This is Aradia's debut outfit under her new brand VrangWay. When are you making more, Aradia? I want.

Next, I wanted to look exotic, so I found a place with a couple of pillars. Then I made some big funky Egyptian bellbottoms by slapping a couple of the swishy prims on the long glitch pants (there are several versions of glitch pants, as well as a glitch skirt . . . and some veils! . . . and a tiara! . . . in the folder):



As far as that look goes, I'm not even sure I was supposed to DO that! I don't even know if my swishy Egyptian bellbottoms are one of the eight approved styles of MaiyaWHITE. That's LIVIN' ON THE EDGE, folks!

Anyway.

A white outfit is a great canvas for stunning jewelry. Yep, I just said "canvas" in a really pretentious way.



My AV looks constipated.

(Accessories: Soul Necklace in Blue and Saicho Belt by Mandala; hair: Kami in Auburn by Truth)

And then I donned this version so I could say "little slip of a dress" (and "donned"):



Look at that cute little slip of a dress!

(Shoes: Dante by Kalnins; hair: Eric in Ivory by Truth)

Not bad for a mere 75L.

That's not a spider on the side of my face up there, BTW. It's this Tour of Ears - Willow piece by LouLou & Co:



Photo courtesy of another blog post I was writing that sucked worse than this one so I totally abandoned it. It was called, "Hey, look at all my accessories, Coco Chanel!"

(Eyes: Stars in Your Eyes (divine) in Cybele by A:S:S; skin: Cynthia in Purple Rain by Mynerva WITH tattoo layer: LesMakeups_Smokey01 by Miamai; scarf: Purple People Eater scarf [FREE!] at Zeery's Color Couture; hair: Keeley in Auburn by Truth; manicure [in Punch] by sinDecade)

OK, I'm exhausted now. Speaking of exhausting, I'm the guest fashion blogger today over on the Second Style blog. It is the most caffeinated thing I've ever written, and reading it would probably wear you out. I'm not very thrilled with it, but it was nice of them to ask me to (attempt to) write it.

I like to take you full circle over here. So let's wrap up this post with more spray paint:



NOT ALLOWED TAKE PICTURES NAKED!
("If not follow this rule you get on risk to be banned from this sim!")

Wow.

Those poor store owners. I mean, how many freaky naked people with cameras have to be running around your business establishment before you finally snap and paint a giant "GET YOUR NAKED ASSES OUT OF HERE!" on your WALL?

In BLUE, nonetheless?

VISIT IN WORLD!
LOULOU & CO
Truth
A:S:S
Mynerva
Perfection
Mandala
Kalnins
Miamai
Zeery's Color Couture
sinDecade

MaiyaWHITE by VrangWay on XStreet

Woe is me (and you)

This one's gonna be short and snappy.



One of my SL New Year's resolutions for 2010 was not to buy any more of these dollie dresses. As tasty as many of them look, they're just not really me. Last year I bought a bajillion of them — and now I can occasionally smell them rotting away in my inventory.

However, I couldn't resist when I saw this 50L Morte Bella dress, which is today's Woeful Wednesday special at Blue Blood.

I mean, c'mon. Any dress that makes me say, "What the F*** is this???" . . .



. . . belongs in my "Big Damn Serving of Awesome WTF on a Silver Platter" folder.

If you have no clue what Woeful Wednesday is, it's kind of the dark, gothy version of Humpday Happiness. Join the Woeful Wednesday group inworld to receive weekly lists of participating stores or check out the Flickr group HERE to see pics of each week's 50L specials.

Other Woeful Wednesday stuff in the top pic:

- O! My Button Eyes - 16 colors - from Into the Hollow (I'm wearing Mavis)

- Zombie poses from Squeek. BUT WAIT! Actually those poses are a mere 15L and have nothing to do with Woeful Wednesday. The 50L special is a Dollie Poses set. I bought those too.

Um, and then there's this:



HELP! MY EYES! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!

(Twilight Saga Hat at The Mad Hattery, 50L for Woeful Wednesday)

I want Anne Rice to come out of hiding and stomp all over the whole Twilight thing. I want her to run through bookstores screaming, "Lemme show you how it's done, you glittery bitches!!!" and then turn into a bat and . . . do something cool. (I guess I still need to polish that fantasy a little.)

You've got about three hours left to be woeful. Go go go go go!

Also featured:
Hair - Truth - Michelle in Night
Other eye - A:S:S - Sparkles in Your Eyes II in Smoke
Shoes - Gos - Burlesque Boots
Skin - Mynerva - Cynthia in Rose
with
Tattoo layer - Glamorize - Wild Eye Makeup in Ladybug

My eyes have seen the glory . . . of A:S:S (speed blogging!)

For all those people out there who've been wailing, "Oh Emerald! We yearn for another big damn picture of your face!"



O.K. let's rock this post at warp speed because on I'm my lunch break at work.

Yeah, I'm a little drowish these days. I drank the Mynerva Kool-Aid a while back and now I get into "GIMME GIMME GIMME" mode whenever I prance my AV into that store. That skin (two makeups, each with a separate cleavage option), matching ears and eyes (not pictured) are Mynerva's 10L Platinum Hunt prize. (Hair: Frankie in Almond by Truth)

But you probably know that already.

So let's talk about the eyes.

A few blog posts ago, before things kind of fell apart in my family life, I expressed my deep burning desire to become the most fabulous eye blogger ever known in the history of all the virtual realms smashed together. (I'm coming for you next, WoW.) (not really)

The next day, A:S:S's tasty creator Photos Nikolaidis dropped a folder in my inventory. Unfortunately it didn't contain a note that said, "Hey Emerald, I feel like temporarily ditching my equally attractive partner and taking a walk on the wild side so please be my wife-for-a-day, please please please." But it did say something like, "Eye blogger - hell yes." And it was full of eyes. GLORIOUS GLORIOUS EYES!

I didn't realize A:S:S sold eyes. (When you go buy some - and yes, you're gonna want to go buy some - they're upstairs.) Frankly, I get distracted whenever I walk in that store because a lot of the vendors look like ADAM LAMBERT, Y'ALL!!



("If I had yooooou. Do-do-d-d-d-doo.")

OK, that's not the picture I took. To my horror, I'm realizing that I forgot to upload quite a few pictures before I left for work. So this post is quite possibly going to suck. (Those skins are free on XStreet though, in case you missed that giant "FREE!" Click HERE.)

Back to the eyes.



Love, love, love, love, crazy love - possibly more than any other eyes I have. These are called "Blue bay" from the Sparkles in Your Eyes II collection. Actually, these weren't even in the review pack. After I checked out the eyes in the folder, I jaunted (is that a verb?) over to A:S:S and bought a boatload more. Including these. (50L for pair; $400L for a fatpack of 12; all eyes include light reflex prims).

Let's all celebrate my total blog fail together and click this LINK to see the whole line, instead of looking at my originally intended award-winning photography.

And these:



Fairy, from the first Sparkles in Your Eyes collection.

*sighs heavily because NO, that isn't the pic I took to show off these eyes. But HEY, you are impressed with my improvisational skills, yes?*

Click HERE, BABY to see the first Sparkles in Your Eyes collection. These are lighter than Sparkles in Your Eyes II.

I'm digging all the eyes at A:S:S because the colors are rich like Paris Hilton, and all the glints in their various incarnations (heart-shaped in the Love in Your Eyes collection; star-shaped in the Stars in Your Eyes collection - but in a subtle way, not an "are you kidding me?" kind of way) give my eyes the perfect amount of depth and personality to match my witty, life-altering prose.

I like my eyes wet and shiny.

And the Neko eyes don't blind me with too much neko:



(Don't mind me. I'm just raping and pillaging the pictures on your blog in total desperation and then running them AS LARGE AS I POSSIBLY CAN.)

Those eyes are sexy. Some nekos make me feel guilty - they remind me that I probably need to clean my cats' litter box and possibly even feed them. These eyes are feline, but not so feline that I feel like I need to run to the store and buy a case of Fancy Feast.

OK, so *bleep* I'm off to a really fantastic start on the whole eye-blogger thing. Just you watch though! Every magical beanstalk starts with a little sprout. (tries to type that sentence with a straight face; fails)

Perhaps when I get home I'll rework this post to include all my original photography. Or perhaps I'll leave it as is as an amusing testament to why I should win the Bumbling Blogger of the Year Award. Regardless, watch for more A:S:S in upcoming posts.

<  

("Do-do-d-d-d-doo.")

CrapherecomesmybossIgottagobye!

[Vendor photos unfortunately swiped from the A:S:S blog.]

VISIT INWORLD!
A:S:S
Mynerva
Truth

Quick! Get your crazy arse out there (and a thank you)

So, it's the last day of the Crazy Arse Hair Hunt 2.



Let's jam. Let's jam radioactive.

That Alien Ceremonial Headpiece is the prize at Psyberia, which is worth checking out anyway. Put your settings on Midnight when you get there and enjoy your trip.

Speaking of, I never realized my yard was such a hot glowy mess until I took this picture. Woooo! (But awesome?)

And I laughed so hard I cried when I put this look together:



The Fire Hair in Blonde is the Crazy Arse hunt prize at Omega Point. It leaves a big damn trail of fire when you walk, and as you may know, I'm all about big damn stuff over here. And that joyous, LOL-worthy Summer Dots dress is the Sixty Linden Weekends sale item at Lillou's Design. It's a billowing battleship of a dress -- I couldn't even fit it all in one frame. I absolutely had to buy it because it made me smile. And isn't that why we're in SL in the first place? (Jewelry: Arizona Jewelry Set by Ganked)

And yeah, sometimes on Saturday mornings, I like to relax with a giant pot of coffee and check out the 9,000 pictures on the Sixty Linden Weekends notecards. It takes three notecards now to list all the generous creators who offer 60L sale items each weekend. Most of the stuff isn't my particular style, but occasionally I find a few gems that I must have. Like this TOY BOX, Y'ALL!



NOW WAIT!

Before you look at that pic, shrug and say, "I don't have any prim kids. Next," you need to know that this isn't just any toy box. It's MAGIC. This 60L box-o-fun from Felicious is stuffed with 212 toys with trans permissions. OK, so they're not going to win any gridwide toy awards, but WHO CARES? Your friends can click the box and get toys. Or you can rez all the toys, spread them all over your parcel and roll around in them naked. Your choice. I plan to go the naked-roll route when I run out of blog material.

The box itself is 10 prims.



I will not rest until I get this flamingo. Will. Not. Rest.

And now for a few words of gratitude.

I wanted to write a post thanking everyone for the outpouring of love after my last post. I tried and tried and tried to write it, but it just kept sounding emo-cheesy.

Finally I realized there is nothing I can write that can truly express my gratitude for the IMs, notecards and e-mails I've received from both friends and then-strangers.

You will never hear me mocking Second Life -- or myself, for being part of this community -- again. I've seen the beautiful side of Second Life during the past two weeks — people from all over the world who will not hesitate to embrace and support someone in pain, even if they only know that person as words on a computer screen.

I believe now that this is a place where people can learn to love and to receive love. I believe now that this is place that can restore our faith, not only in spirit but also in the awe-inspiring force of good that powers the human race. (I used to be one of those jaded people who believed that we have devolved into a mass of selfish jerks.) Ironically, I talked about the search for spiritual rejuvenation in my last post, but then I ended up finding it in the kindness of virtual strangers.

Thanks to that post, I met a remarkable woman who founded what is now an international support group for families of kids with craniosynostosis. (Yes, WOW, she's in Second Life!) She sent me before and after surgery pictures of her own child, and I now have hope. I met other people who touched me in various ways -- from fellow Virgin Mary aficionados to readers of this blog expressing support. They all deserve a lengthy public thank-you, but unfortunately all I can muster are these few rambling (and still slightly emo-cheesy) paragraphs.

Thank you.

VISIT INWORLD
Crazy Arse Hair Hunt 2 Starting Point
Psyberia
Omega Point
Lillou's Design
Ganked
Felicious

Ave Maria

I bought some of those breedable fairies.

They look like someone took Nicole Kidman and stuffed her in a sleeping bag.



You're scaring me. Stop it.

So . . . there's a Second Life version of Lourdes:



The high rise behind it has been blessed with holy water.

It's got a robot Virgin Mary:



She looks a little unsympathetic.

My three-month old niece hasn't been doing so well. Her head isn't forming right and her eyes are slightly crossed and her limbs look like they belong on someone else's body.

Today she got diagnosed with craniosynostosis, and I just want to scream and scream and scream in terror until I can't scream anymore. A pediatric neurosurgeon is going to have to cut open the top of her little head because her skull isn't growing and her brain is compressed. We don't know about brain damage yet. Hopefully we have caught it in time.

I am not a mother, but for the first time in my life I feel this kind of primal protective rage. I want to grab God by the lapels of his big shiny white suit and scream, "GIVE IT TO ME INSTEAD!" in His face.

She's just a little baby. :(

Many Catholics believe that the Virgin Mary once appeared to Blessed Alan de la Roche (c.1428-1475) and revealed to him 15 promises of blessings for those who devoutly pray the Rosary.

From age 17 to about age 29, I prayed the Rosary almost every morning or evening, not for blessings but just because I liked being in a quiet, sacred place where I could put all my thoughts on hold for 10 minutes. Then I hit my jaded 30s and the Virgin Mary sort of got swept under my spiritual rug, so to speak. I don't know.

Hey Mary, are you there? I know we haven't talked in a while, but we used to talk a lot. So I'll take your promises 11 and 12 now. Thanks.



This is my niece. Her name is Reilly. If you're the praying type, we'd appreciate a few minutes of your time. :(

I turned off comments because I don't want this to seem like another "OMG woe is me!" post. I just wanted people to know why I'm not really myself these days. I meant to write this post about those breedable fairies and I got a whopping three sentences down before I just couldn't write any more. I realize now that everything I've been stressing out about all year is ridiculous. I would take it all a hundred times over just to take this pain away from this baby.

I told my mother that this seems like The Year of Impossible Hurdles and she said, "No - this is life. You're just getting old and finally understanding it."

VISIT IN WORLD
Breedable Fairies
Grotto and Garden of Our Lady of Lourdes

Rich Bitches Cook Goats

That pic is for all the foot fetishists out there.

So, I got invited to a blogger preview party for the reopening of the store rbcg. Well, actually that's kind of a stretch. The subscribo sent a notecard encouraging bloggers to request an invite. And since I've always loved that store, I sent a note saying, "Please please please please please please please?"

I'm always scared to attend blogger parties or request to be on review lists and the like. Even after two years of fooling around on this blog, I'm still pretty much a nobody in the SL blog community. I can't count the number of times I've heard (or read), "Who the hell is Emerald Wynn?"

But I AM a real blogger! I AM! I AM!

Enough about me. Let's talk about rbcg.



Creator Kyrsten Jigsaw is a master of quirk. Her store is full of stuff that'll make you laugh and a small selection of beautifully drawn clothes. If you perv her profile like I did, you'll see that her SL pic is cool and her RL pic should be in one of the Lindens' "Look, we really DO have attractive people behind our avatars!" ads.

Whenever I shop at rbcg., so many questions come to mind. Like, what does "rbcg."stand for? And what's up with all the mustaches?



(blabbit gatcha, 20L a pop. Cynthia skin in Rose by Mynerva. Eyes by A:S:S, to be featured in my next blog post, use your time machine)

I asked Kyrsten about the name of her store. (I didn't ask about the mustaches because that would have been sort of stupid and awkward.) She told me that "rbcg." is just a bunch of random letters. (With a period after them, before you start thinking that my punctuation skills have completely gone to hell.)

Kyrsten, NO! You've gotta get a better answer than that! The possibilities are so damn endless!

Real Boys Can't Golf
Rotten Bananas Catch Germs
Rabbits Beckon Clingy Girls
Rockstars Bang Crusty Geese
Raunchy Bloggers Cause Goosebumps
Really Bad Custard GAH!

I could do this all night.

Let's get to the goods. I like the fact that nothing's capitalized. It gives it all an e.e. cummings vibe.

(All items by rbcg. unless otherwise noted. Some were blogger party gifts. Some were purchased.)



(toilet paper outfit, 120L. Also: pose from Case of the Sillies pose set, 10L, and The Corner of 1st & 5th Photobox, limited edition for two weeks, 100L, both at TUFT; Annie in Almond hair by Truth; Plain Jane skin in Dot-to-Dot by Mynerva)

How do I love thee, toilet paper outfit? Let me count the ways.

1. You can throw that roll of toilet paper at people.
2. "Excuse me, you've got some toilet paper stuck to your shoe . . . and nipples."

I actually got TP'ed to flip a lucky chair while I was in this sassy little double-ply getup — [dramatic pause] — and that's when I realized TOO LATE that my vajayjay was hanging out of it. Before then I'd never really looked at my private parts in SL, if you can believe that. Wow, they're pretty photorealistic, huh? :-\



(granny's floppy hat, 130L; the clown's glasses, 80L; my crop tee ["Zombies Want Your Brain!!!!"], 60L)

I snuck into my friend Aisu's giant sandcastle house and took that pic while she was offline. Um, and I took that pic up top in her swimming pool too.

(Hey Aisuru, I was running around in your house and screwing around with your stuff while you were out.)

Oops.



(Pose from Vivapose's Emotional pose set at Summer of Love Fair)

Worst picture ever of a super villain costume (cape, unibrow, mustache), 150L, worn with 'if you're a bird' dress in brown, 250L, lemme try that one again:



Nope, still sucks.

Nice mustache, though!



(beach shack, 69L, at Summer of Love Fair)

OMG — HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Help, my house.)

*coughs*

If you buy rbcg.'s beach shack at the Summer of Love Fair, be forewarned that it's pretty substantial. I mean, don't make the mistake of thinking it's a small cabana-like thing for your backyard. Only an idiot would do that.

(Oh sh*t, I smushed the kraken!)

And gentlemen, before you start feeling all weepy and left out, I didn't forget about you:



(jock strap, 49L, at Summer of Love Fair)

"Stuffed version for the ladies — or men with tiny junk."

LMAO! Yes, my whole ass.

You can visit the rbcg. flagship store on Thibedeau or pop in the satellite store when you check out Pennelope Thiessam's new Rumor sim.



(owwl avatar, 345L, and yes it's spelled with two W's)

I'm on a horse.

VISIT IN WORLD!
rbcg. flagship store
rbcg. on Rumor . . . well, I tried to make a landmark at the store, but SL just kept saying "Loading, loading loading" like a jackass, so that link is for the Rumor landing point.
Summer of Love Fair
TUFT
Truth
Mynerva
Aisuru's House, easy to break into! (HA HA HA! Made you look!)

(Try to figure out when the ultra-delicious and oh-so-affordable Big House Red wine kicked in!)

Fruits and other tasty things

So, here's what my hair's doing today:



Nice.

And yes, I've rendered my VOL LOD Factor, or whatever it is, so let's just chalk it up to Second Life being a little bitch again. It looked great yesterday. See:



The primary purpose of that photo is not to show you this cute Melany dress from Convoitise or my new favorite hair -- Aradhana in Gem by Truth -- or even the dreamlike quality of the art installation-slash-shopping experience that is It was a blur. No. I really took that photo so I could show off my SPECTACULARLY DOUBLE-JOINTED ANKLES! WooT! (Shoes by O! Bleak.)

Let's pause for a moment and look at this picture of Adam Lambert:



Bwahahahahahaha! OMG that picture is huge. Oops.

I've developed a weird crush on him lately. I have no idea where it came from and my friends are patiently waiting for it to end. Until then, I'm perfectly comfortable with the fact that for some bizarre reason I'm hot for a guy who's usually covered in glitter, wears more makeup than I do and has a penchant for dressing in drag. Oh, and sleeping with men.

Perfectly comfortable with it.

Follow me, won't you, as I smoothly transition from Adam Lambert's thingy to Rosie's Thingies.

I'd never heard of Rosie or her Thingies before, but she dropped a Blogger Pack in my inventory and I was more than happy to check her thingies out.

Let's start with the box:



You rock, Rosie. I don't care what's in your box. The fact that you made a box that makes me want to lick it like I'm a character in a deleted scene from "Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory" makes you today's Queen of Awesome. In fact, I need someone to make me a crown with full perms so I can officially crown my blog subjects with the royal attention they deserve.

Anyway, I'm keeping this box as home decor.

"Hey, look at my artistic fruit pillar!"

So, it turns out that Rosie's Thingies are eyes and if you've been reading this blog regularly, you probably know that the minute I opened a box of eyes, I had an eyegasm. SL eyes are my drug. I cannot resist them. I probably have about 9,000 pairs. I tried to tone down my eye hoarding this year by making a "2010 - ONLY the Eyes You Cannot Live Without - Seriously" folder, but it already has about 800 pairs in it.



(Eyes in Kiwi, 30L at Rosie's Thingies)

Maybe I'll start working on building a rep as The Eye Blogger of SL. I know many of you out there have been tearing out your hair and wailing, "Forget fashion - we need an EYE blogger!" and maybe my purpose in SLife is to save the day and become just that. I wouldn't even have to change the name of this blog.

And then I could get away with running pictures like this one:



"Hey, I like your eyes!"

OK, so let's get back to poor Rosie, who has now been buried under a heap of my double-jointed ankles, Adam Lambert and my blog fantasies. Creator Rosemarie Indigo has launched a line of fruit inspired eyes and I'm loving them for several reasons: 1) They're strikingly vibrant but more subtle than other fruit-inspired eyes I've seen, meaning you kind of have to get close enough to, um, taste my fruits to notice that they're fruits, 2) they're an affordable 30L a pair, and 3) their box is awesome.

If you want to try them, she's offering this pair of Framboise eyes for only $1L:



That skin, monocle-that-I-need-to-mod and earrings are by Sanu and are available at the It was a blur exhibit. They kind of all blend together and that's the point, actually. And my eyelashes are jacked up, as usual.

Speaking of, let's wrap up this post with a gratuitous shot from It was a blur and then I have to get to work:



When I took that pic, everyone behind me clapped.

VISIT IN WORLD:

Rosie's Thingies

It was a blur

Happy happy joy joy Sunday!

To hell with captivating prose.















I knew I should have gone to that World Cup Party instead.