The warm glow of Christmas carnage

It's that time of year aga . . . you know, I'm not gonna use that opener in this post. It's been done to death. Actually, so has the phrase "done to death." Sheeeeezus, my writing abilities apparently have gone (sledding) downhill.

How about, "I get SO DAMN GIDDY when everything in SL gets as barren and icy as my soul!" That means it's time to break out my loved-to-death Ice Castle (124 prims, 300L) by Beloved Custom Designs. I wept when BCD closed up shop in SL, but fortunately creator Aisuru Rieko still has a store on Marketplace. (Click HERE, baby.)


Yes, reindeer have invaded my yard this year. So many cute reindeer, so little prim allowance. Sigh.

The reindeer are nifty, but I think my favorite Christmas decor this year is this Wrecked Sleigh (22 prims, 399L) by FallnAngel Creations. OH SNAP, SANTA!


WOOOO, that is twisted . . . HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! The "I Believe!" sign is not included (it's part of an Awesome Blossom subscribo gift — go get it!), but DAMN, it makes me laugh so hard when it's next to that sleigh. I guess I need one that says, "I Believed!" instead. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

(Sorry.)

But WOW, poor Santa's sleigh burst into (animated!) flames and everything. Now THAT is what I call holiday splendor! Come on over and toast some marshmallows as we bask in the warm glow of the Christmas carnage!

Pretty sure if Santa survived, he's put me on his Naughty list now. Maybe he has a list for people who are worse than naughty — like a Demon Spawn list. Oops.

I went to Falln last night because it's one of many generous SL stores with Advent calendars this month. In Falln's case, it's an Advent tree (click the box with the corresponding date and you'll get a gift), and unfortunately if you miss a day, you're out of luck — once the date has passed, the gift is gone. I missed Dec. 1. *feels sorry for myself*

So speaking of FallnAngel, winter in SL is not only my favorite time to fill my yard with "WTF has Emerald Wynn done with her yard now?" goodness, but it's also my favorite excuse to wear fantastical winter outfits. Cases in point, these retro posts "Cool Like That" (2010), "Hey I Like Your Lesbian Washing Machine" (2010), "Mine Eyes Have Seen the Kitschy Glory" (2009) and "Put Some Pants On!" (2009). (Wow, those were the days when these posts were slightly more energetic and humorous.) Anyway, since I don't have a Big Damn Wintery Dress yet this year, I picked up this Owl Gown (599L) while I was at Falln.


("What? You talkin' to me?") The picture doesn't really do it justice (shocking). It's got a cool high collar in back made of bones. Yeah, it's a little pricey for my usual budget, but what with all the sales and markets and 'fests and expos and other consumer temptations this month (not to mention rent and animal food), I exclaimed, "TO HELL WITH IT" and gave myself $75 worth of lindens. *cringe*

Whatever. I have my whole life to pay off that Visa card.

(I'm sure those lindens'll be gone in two days, if that.)

I'm wearing Donna Flora's Porzia Sapphire ring (200L), and I'll admit I didn't realize it was that huge when I bought it. It's cool though. And that'll definitely be the hand I use if I have to punch someone in the face.


Behold the annual Big Damn Picture of My Face! Here's a close-up of the ring. And I've been wanting to show some of the cool makeups at Adam n Eve in this blog for a while. This eye makeup is called Bedazzled (100L) and it makes me look like I'm either going to throw a bunch of glitter all over you or punch you in the face with a giant square ring. I like it!

(Also shown: Skin: Alba 3.0 in Peach 01 by Mojo; Eyes: Herbalist Eyes in Borago by Vision - Eyes by A:S:S; Hair: Hoodoo by ploom (previous Project Themeory item). Yes, those are the bones of crash-victim elves tied with strips of snow leopard fur in my hair.)

So, this horse happened:


WOW. If you're not familiar with Amaretto horses, let me clarify for you: This horse is ALL jacked-up. I deliberately cranked up the exposure in this pic in attempt to better illustrate its freakishness, but you kind of have to see the real thing to really grasp the monstrosity of it. I birthed it two days ago and figured it would have worked itself out by now, but apparently not. I guess I could submit it to Amaretto with a support ticket, but I kind of have this morbid curiosity to see what it'll look like when it's full-grown. Maybe I'll charge admission for people to come gape at it, like they do with the two-headed sheep here at the county fair (yeehaw!).

I know I swore off Amaretto breedables, but I buckled when they released some limited-edition Halloween and Breast Cancer Awareness horses. I bought them, and then they started having babies with exciting names like Solid Midnight Tan Fell Pony with Haze Coat or Red Spotted Rocky Mountain with Blush Hair. These are new traits and breeds since I left the scene. So now I birth them to see what they look like and then slaughter them. Gee, that sounds inhumane. Sorry.

I'll end with a random picture, for all those people who are reading this post and yelling, "THERE AREN'T ENOUGH PICTURES HERE TO QUENCH MY THIRST FOR YOUR PHOTOGRAPHIC TALENTS!"

I'm usually not fond of child AVs, but I have to give this one props for looking pretty cool. And no, I didn't ask if I could shoot this pic. It was stealth-cammed. *looks ashamed*


So cute! I appreciate the effort this adult-pretending-to-be-a-child put into this AV's look. Seriously.

Signing off now. Have a joyous Monday (if that's possible)!

THE SLURLS AND SITES YOU NEED
Beloved Custom Designs on Marketplace
FallnAngels Creations Advent Tree
Falln Owl Gown
Falln Christmas Area (yes, the place is so huge, each thing needs its own SLURL)
Awesome Blossom (Christmas Signs Subscribo gifts still available)
Adam n Eve
Donna Flora
ploom
Mojo
Vision - Eyes by A:S:S

"urgh" (she said, with love)

I cannot get my inventory to load past 5,143.

I wish I knew what that mysterious, pain-in-the-ass 5,144th item is.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of you who celebrate it!

I'm thankful for the fact that if I need help or a kind word or a shoulder to cry on or simply a friend, that technology has made this lifeline possible, through Second Life, Facebook, Skype and a gazillion other platforms. We have pretty much abolished loneliness through our technological advancements. We are awesome like that. Throw up all kinds of barriers and we mere mortals will always find a way to help each other over them.

To hell with any drama that may be sucking you into its vortex right now, because beyond that, there is always love. Don't ever let anyone convince you that humans are inherently evil or, at the very least, apathetic. Not even close. At our core we are caring, we are brave, we are strong, we are unified and we are fearless in the face of loneliness. Give us your blackest blackness and we will inevitably find a way to kick it to the curb. Together. I think Second Life is proof of that solidarity.

Even though some of us can say, "I can't stand [this person] [this blogger] [this creator] [this fashionista] [this former friend] [this neighbor] [this resident] [this subculture] [this Linden][this AV]" and even though some of us have made a list, in semi-permanent marker, of our enemies and frenemies, I can still guarantee you that if we really did have some kind of horrific zombie apocalypse we would all suddenly look at each other and say, "Wait, remind me, what were we pissed off about again? Why was I mad at you?" and then shrug and start bashing zombie brains together. Yes we would! All this time we've been thinking zombies are trendy, but maybe they're really here to bring world peace. THINK ABOUT IT!

Anyway.

There's so much smack-talk about the damage Second Life can do to relationships, but I wonder how many lives it has saved. You don't hear so much about that angle. I'll be testament to it though. In my darkest moments I've reached out here and someone has always grabbed my hand.

So thank you, friends. On this Thanksgiving Day, I'm grateful for all of you. I'm thankful for everyone who has reached out and grabbed my hand. I'm thankful for everyone on my Friends list and for those who someday will be. I'm thankful for all the people who read this blog. Whether you hate it or love it, the fact that you read it is a tiny acknowledgement of my existence, and God how I occasionally need that acknowledgement.

I'm thankful that one day several years ago, somebody said, "Hey, let's make a virtual world" and tens of thousands of people replied, "Yes, let's!" And thanks to that chorus of enthusiasm, my broke, middle-American, middle-aged self can now experience art and exotic lands and fashion and music and ideas and extraordinary visions and friendships the likes of which I'd never be able to experience in real life.

And because of all that, I get to write sentences with phrases like "the likes of which" in them.

If I were drinking Budweiser, I'd end this post with "I love you, man," but I'm drinking merlot that was purchased with an unemployment check, so I guess I'll end with this sentiment instead:

Whether you're friend or foe, tonight I'm thankful for you. And whether you're friend or foe, I've got your back if the zombies get out of control.

Love and mountains of blessings to you,
Em

"I don't like your blog."

It's been a while since I've expressed an opinion. I've sort of lost my words and my personality and my sense of humor these days, but I'll give it a shot.

There's been some recent heated discussion over on The Rumor regarding bloggers who sometimes say not-so-flattering things about creators' works.

I have mixed feelings about this topic and there's no point in me rehashing things that have already been said. (You can read my two cents over there in Comments if you have absolutely nothing better to do with your life.) I often read The Rumor. I laugh at some of the commentary and I wince at some of it and I take it for what it is — one person's opinion, not the Holy Second Life Bible of Sh*t You Need to Buy. Ultimately I appreciate the work over there — the previews of sale and hunt items are a godsend in these days of crashing with every third TP.

I can certainly understand feelings of hurt and anger if any blogger flat-out says something insulting like, "MY GOD THIS IS UGLY PASS ME THE EYE BLEACH THIS CREATOR SUCKS WANG." My problem is when creators get rabid over a balanced review that just happens to include some negative feedback, or even something that's not necessarily inflammatory, like "This outfit isn't for me" or "I'm not a fan of this look because [insert reason]." Hell, once I wrote a post where I happened to lament, "Damn, [this store] is having a sale today and I just dropped a thousand lindens there last week," and the owner basically started a Plurk war over it and transformed me into an ungrateful commoner who didn't appreciate sales. It was fun.

Anyway, the debate is kind of old news by now, but I started thinking about the flip side of it this week when I started seeing allllll the posts all over the feeds about tomorrow's Vintage Fair.

Unfortunately, I'm not one of those people who usually comes to mind when someone's having an event and making a list of bloggers to put on the early access/review copy/etc. list. There's no bitterness in that statement. I don't do a lot of self-promotion and my blogging frequency has really dropped off and my photos sometimes leave something to be desired and I'm not your typical fashion blogger (although I do always try to credit everything in my posts and, better yet, include prices when I can so readers don't show up at a store and keel over from sticker shock). And I write really long rambling sentences like that one right there.

If I happen to catch the buzz on an event that sounds like something I'd like to blog and I can find a blogger application for it, I'll sometimes apply. And speaking of the Vintage Fair, in the past I've occasionally requested to be on the bloggers lists for Chic Management events and have been accepted, so even if this post was meant to be a beef-slinger, it wouldn't be pointed in that direction.

But in light of the discussion over at The Rumor and the frequency of "Hey everybody! I'm a [insert event name here!] Blogger" posts, the thing that amuses me a little is this:

There have been times when I've admired a creator or heard of an upcoming event that sounded kind of cool and have put in a request to be a blogger in that capacity. And there have been times when the creator or event manager has responded, "Sorry. I'm not a fan of your blog" or the very popular "Sorry, we don't think your blog is a good fit for us" or even "I really don't care if my work is featured in your blog," or even a slightly tamer version of "Please take your ellipses and your ALL CAPS and shove them up your ass."

My response to that kind of feedback is usually an internal "ouch" (actually, make it an all-caps internal "OUCH") and maybe even, depending on the time of the month, a couple of tears, and then I get on with my SLife and try to accept the fact that this blog isn't for everyone. I don't write ranting posts or broadcast the creator's name. Hell, I usually don't even boycott the event or creator. It hurts, but when you put yourself out there publicly, you have to accept the fact that not everyone's going to be a fan, and sometimes they're going to bluntly say so. I will admit that at this point I'm starkly terrified to ask someone if I can blog their stuff/event, but that's about the only lasting consequence of the "I don't like your blog" dialogue.

So I guess that's the one thing I'd like to say to creators who get publicly outraged and start a flame war against bloggers who are outspoken enough to express a negative opinion. It goes both ways. Some of us get it from your side too. It just comes with the territory of creative self-expression, I guess.

. . . Hey, look at my mouse sleigh up there!

The Sleigh Hunt (runs through 11/30) is a small hunt sponsored by Carriage Trade and featuring equestrian-themed prizes. I saw this prize from United InshCon on another blog and had to have it. I'll take mouse droppings on my roof over reindeer patties any day. The link to the Web site, including participants, SLURLs and some pictures of the prizes, is below.

HERE'S MY LIST OF LINKS, YO
The Rumor
Chic Management
The Sleigh Hunt

I have substance, I swear

My yard is sexy looking.

I like to tell people that if you're feeling depressed about your photography skills, just come on over to this blog, and if you're feeling depressed about your terraforming skills, just come on over to my yard.

You'll feel much better.

My God, and when you put them BOTH in one picture, it's sort of like the universe implodes while your eyeballs fry!

Hey, have you ever done a search for "facelight" in your inventory? I haven't worn a facelight in years, but I thought maybe if I slapped one on in this photo, it would add some dimension to the lighting or something. (Fail.) Holy cow. I think I have about 3,000 facelights. I contemplated deleting all of them, but damn, that would take hours. My inventory is at 165K and counting right now. So I guess if you're feeling depressed about your inventory, you can come on over to my place and laugh at my 3,000 facelights and probably feel much better about that too.

Anyway, all day long, people have been saying to me, "Awww, you're just a white, glowy blob today!" That's mystifying because I'm not even wearing mesh. I hate it when I take the time to carefully dress my AV in a spiffy fall outfit, only to have people say, "I can't seeeeeeee youuuuuuu!"

Um, so here's some proof that I did in fact get dressed this weekend. Frankly, I wrote this post just to get rid of that gawd-awful Halloween picture at the top of the page. It was fun, but it becomes an eyesore if you look at it for longer than two minutes. Soon I'll write another post to bump down this newest gawd-awful picture. It's like the circle of bad-picture life over here.


Yay, we finally get to break out some crispy fall colors. Speaking of crispy, grrrrr, my photos look pixelly as hell. And when I turn on shadows, those glasses disappear. Trippy.

I'm loving this skin that's the Very Important Hunters Hunt (ends 11/30) prize at The Plastik. It includes several makeup options, a ton of tattoo layers and a couple of pairs of eyes. You're looking for a bow. Or a bow tie. Whatever it is, it's very important. Hints and SLURLs of participating creators are HERE.


Thank you, Aikea Rieko! That's lovely!

So, does anyone else get excited about "Dexter" on Sunday nights? I used to be pretty fanatical about that show, but this season seems to be dragging for me for some reason. I got really, really gleeful when I saw this Dexter AV at Death Row Designs though:


(Includes killshirt!) OH MY GOD, YEAH! Now I need to find a guy who'll put this thing on and SLex with me. (Complete Dexter AV, 700L)

I bought the laminated badges for 20L. It's not the same as the complete package (pardon the pun, *WINK*) but I can still wear it and pretend I'm Dexter's girlfriend:


(Um, Debra Morgan? Hell no. She's soooo damn annoying.) Hey, yesterday was the sixth anniversary of Dexter's first day at work!

OK. I'm done. Have a lovely week.

STYLE CREDITS AND STUFF
Hair - LeLutka - Rykiel in Marilyn
Skin - The Plastik - Aleria Nightbringer's Breath in Flush - *FREE* Very Important Hunters Hunt gift #3
Eyes - The Plastik - Senn (Vae Collection) - *FREE* Very Important Hunters Hunt gift #3
Glasses - Le Petits Details - Lady Lord Glasses - *FREE* group gift, free to join
Necklace - Kunglers - OGlam First Birthday/Crisis in the Horn of Africa fundraiser item, 200L, at OGlam Shopping
Scarf - Miel - Fringe Scarf in Leafy, 245L
Top - Rezipsa Loc - Brick Red T-shirt, 75L
Skirt - Les Petit Details - Mina Skirt in Red, 75L for Project Themeory this weekend
Boots - Les Petit Details - Lady boots in Coconut, 250L
And . . .
Dexter AV, Laminate Badges - Death Row Designs
Very Important Hunters Hunt Website (Ends 11/30)

Wearing the blues on Halloween

Whenever I feel lonely and sad, sometimes I'll go to Sigma or some other jewelry store and wander around drooling over all the beautiful things that I usually can't afford. It cheers me up.

That's weird, huh? To me, there's something really calming about cool metals and icy diamonds, or big vibrant gems that stay strong and beautiful even when the world around them is going to hell. And clarity — I love the clarity and the way the light comes alive in a room full of fabulous jewelry. I think Holly Golightly was on to something.

So yeah, tonight the real world is dressing up and going to parties and haunted houses while my pathetic AV is standing around in jewelry stores. Ugh, I'm lonely. Are you listening, Universe? LONELY! I suck at making friends in real life. The people I meet are either very married and glued together at the hip or very frenzied, as in "I'm going to desperately cling to my youth by partying the hell out of every weekend, and by the way, just call me Cougar!" Either way I feel like an oddball around all of them. And I cannot take many more of these holidays alone. I just can't.

GOD I'M FEELING SORRY FOR MYSELF TONIGHT! Let's just STOP and look at my Halloween outfit this year. It leans toward the cheerfully obnoxious, and you know I like it like that! Plus, I noticed no one else is blogging about Halloween costumes or orange-and-black clothes, so I figured I'd fill that Halloween-shaped hole in your life.


I was fueled by nostalgia and a craving for whimsy when I bought this Halloween Supreme dress by Fierce, a store I frequented as a noob. HELP, I SAT ON MY EX-BOYFRIEND AND HE'S STUCK IN MY ASS! The spiderweb fascinator, tights and hand wraps are included in this outfit. Skirt can be worn with or without dead boyfriend. Guess how much it costs. A WHOPPING 5L on Marketplace. Not 50. Five. Get it HERE.

Um, but Halloween is already pretty much over, so I'm bummed that I only just found out about it. (I'm totally failing in the "News You Can Use" category right now. Sorry.) Get it anyway. Get it just for the ex-boyfriend ass accessory. Attach it to your Santa suit next month. Or you can do what I did and stick the whole outfit in a folder named "Really Cool 2011 Halloween Stuff — Use in 2012!" Hahaha. Right. Next year there'll be a fresh new jam-packed folder of Halloween stuff, but hey, at least the intention is there. Recycling is good!


Now please join me in exclaiming, "OH MY GAWWWWWW — THOSE BOOTS!" I love them so much and they're free for Miamai group members. Find them outside the store with the pumpkins. I'm not sure how long they'll be there, so RUN! RUN LIKE THE WIND! They're not too Halloweeny to wear past the holiday. Yeah, they've got some spiderwebs on them, but so does my vagina these days and I still occasionally use it.

Oh oops, I failed to mention that they're mesh (the boots, not my bits). Some people, myself included, are on the fence about mesh, but I do LOVE IT in shoes. Yes! Mesh belongs on my feet! Gimme!

Speaking of latex (we weren't, but I needed a segue), you only have a few more days to pick up your limited-edition S&M Dominatrix Cats! Whip not included!


KIDDING! I love them. These are the Halloween Devil Dolls cats from KittyCatS' Haunted Collection, which also includes SkeleCats and Love at First Bite vampire cats. They're available through Nov. 3. I'm too damn exhausted to write about all of them, so go look at the pretty pictures and read about them HERE on the KittyCatS Website.

I know some of you don't do the KittyCatS thing, but if a spooky cat strikes your fancy you can always buy one and feed it Perma-Pet vitamins, which'll transform it into a pet that doesn't need food.

I'm actually feeling a little bit better now. About 30 minutes ago I was on the brink of jumping in my bathtub with an extension cord and a running blowdryer, so thanks for listening!

And now I'm off to try to finish the Zombie Popcorn Hunt, which ends in a few hours. (Ooch.) I'm all about the last-minute thrills.

HEY EMERALD, GIVE US SOME SLURLS AND STUFF!
Sigma
Fierce Halloween Supreme on Marketplace
Miamai
KittyCatS

and:


Skin - [sYs] — Puppet - Dual Skin in Pure, worn with the included Rune tattoo on forehead
Hair - Truth — Cate in Streaked Crow
Necklace — Hangman (I shrunk the hell out of it, sorry) - KOSH, Zombie Popcorn Hunt Prize #23
Eyes - Sterling Artistry — Starlight eyes in Fuchsia Nebula

all the little bourgeois dreams

I wish I had one of these things in real life.


He could teach me how to samba, I could teach him how to Dougie and then we could have hot, bony sex afterward.

I've been trying to do Halloween on a budget this year, but I did splurge on this Mr. Bones You Tease pose prop (485L) from LostAngel. He's got eight smooth Casanova moves, and when you're not making sweet skeletal love to him, he makes for quite a spiffy wall hanging.


Whenever I use any pose from LostAngel it reminds me of an embarrassing noob story. Basically I spent my first year in SL just kind of running around making a complete ass of myself. I also liked to get gussied up in my blangin' high heels and snazzy full-perm duds and hang out at fashion shows. One time [in band camp] at one of these shows, I saw this smokin' hot guy and clicked on him to check out his profile.

But instead of clicking "Profile" I made that OH-SO-EMBARRASSING mistake of accidentally clicking "Add Friend" instead.

I was totally mortified when he accepted my friendship. He probably looked over at my badly modded hair and seizure-inducing shoe bling and took pity. Then I dug the hole of humiliation even deeper by saying, "OMG I'm sorry — I only meant to click Profile." ("Because I'm a total profile perv and I wanted to read all about you and possibly stalk you or at the very least fantasize about you.") But he said, "Too late! We're friends now! :)"

We never talked again after that (I'M SHY), but he never booted me from his friends list either, which was kind of awesome of him. He was Pier Tempel, and later I learned he was one of the original founders of LostAngel. And a model. And an admired photographer. God, I'm such an idiot.

I guess Pier has left SL, according to the LostAngel Industries Web site. But every time I use a LostAngel prop, I remember what a nice guy he was that day. (And his SL AV's ghost still lives on my friends list.)

Let's pause for a spanking.


"Oh Mr. Bones, you tease!"

I'm bummed Halloween is almost over. I had so many things to blog, but my well of creative juices has pretty much run dry. [Or insert some other analogy here. I'm at a loss.] But it wouldn't be Halloween if I didn't at least muster up the will to tell you to go grab some free Halloween T's at terri.tees.


This Pretty Witch tee ("I feel pretty! Oh so pretty!") is part of her prize in the Half-Baked Mini Halloween Hunt (through 10/31). It's hidden in a candy corn. (Hint: Look up, especially if you're feeling cornered.) She also has walls of free Halloween T's back in the Freebie Corner. This year she used images from a vintage monster version of the Old Maid card game. Awesome.

Also wearing: You're a Witchy Star hair/hat (275L for a pack of five colors) by Clawtooth by Clawtooth. The hat is color-change.

I have to go try to finish the Zombie Popcorn Hunt now.

VISIT INWORLD
LostAngel
terri.tees
Clawtooth by Clawtooth

and then she pretty much only blogged about clothes and the whole blog went to hell

Back off or my AV will smack you with her AV man-hand and if that doesn't work, she'll smack you with one of her many, many skeleton hands.


My AV's hands are sized normally, I swear, but for some reason they look really, really drag queen to me these days.

*shrug*

Oh well.

Halloween on a budget. Ready? GO!


The Plumpkin Cottage, 104 prims, by Honey, I'm Home. It's 45L in the Royal Living Magazine Pumpkin Hunt. IT ENDS TODAY! RUN!

Bow down before my total fail attempt at mood lighting.

I love this house so much, I want to bake a cake that looks just like it and eat it.


"My Pumpkin Party Lights are brighter than your sunny disposition" and FREE in the Black Cat Hunt at enLightened, ends Oct. 31.


"Hey, I like that autumny stuff that you spread all over your yard!" Another Royal Living Magazine Pumpkin Hunt prize, 45L, at Urbanized.


"I can't decide if your fake skeleton arms are creepy or kind of cool, but regardless, I can't help but dig 'em." (Arms of Kali by Gilded, 150L, at the Kreepy Kawaii Khaos Halloween Festival.)


"I told you I would never wear a vampire skin, but I lied." (Paige skin in Bite Me by Illusory, 88L at Collabor88.)

"Hey, what else are you wearing?"
Eyes - Banana Banshee - Venus eyes in Caramel, 80L
Dress - Chantkare - Delight Dress, 300L
That Stuff that's in My Hair - Split Pea - Don't talk my heart's not in this, 100L (OK, here's the deal with Split Pea. There are ban lines around it. But who knows - maybe it's just me that's banned. Regardless, you can land HERE and cam in and buy things. I am nothing if not resourceful.)
Hair - Truth - Tess in Burgundy, 250L
Boots (That You Can Barely See) - Deco - Madison Boots in Cherry (MESH ALERT!), 300L
Watch - ISON - Vipera Watch in Onyx, 125L

And your Halloween would not be complete without this darling (purebred) Black Russian girl kitty with (purebred) Fire eyes, Illume shading and Boo Boo tail! A mere 1200L!


Buy her HERE at Em's Juicy Kittens!
(Sorry. Blatant sales pitch. I'm so so so so so so broke. I couldn't help it.)

Mosh pit

Oops.

Soooooo my computer crashed and burned big time. It pretty much screamed, "ENOUGH!" and had a complete meltdown. I know exactly how you feel, little MacBook Pro. *pats it on the head*

Apparently it needed a new fan and some kind of software fix and "blah blah blah blah blah whatever," as my five-year-old niece says every five minutes. (What the hell are they teaching them in kindergarten these days?) I lost everything on my hard drive and didn't have my computer for a while. It was tragic.

When I finally got my computer back and was able to log back in, all my animals were green, or black with red Xs over their eyes, or in a coma (see above). It was kind of sickening, which is a ridiculous thing to say since none of this is real. I ended up only saving the KittyCats and packing up all my other animals into my inventory. I can't afford the Breedables scene anymore. In fact, I can't really afford SL anymore — or at least I CANNOT LIVE THE LIFE TO WHICH I AM ACCUSTOMED HERE! 

(Sorry. I put that in all caps because I was worried people would think I was serious if I typed it normally.)

In any case, I'm trying to put my dysfunctional life back together in RL so I'm cutting way back on my time in world. Or at least I'm trying to. SL is like a sick drug habit that I can't shake. Getting rid of needy animals helps though.

Moving on . . .


[Issoni dress by Chantkare; new Tess hair in Burgundy by Truth; mesh Madison boots in Cherry by Deco; Maia skin in Fauntastic, Cream by Ploom.]

If you live in the States, did your local Target stores get transformed into giant mosh pits full of greedy, grabbing housewives when Missoni launched its collection there? Mine did. People ran in and just grabbed things off the racks without even looking at them. It was horrible. If that's how everyone acts over loud clothes that look like optical illusions, think of what the supermarkets will be like if we ever have a zombie apocalypse.

I can't believe I just used the word "supermarkets." I'm really 75.

The hilarious thing is that the shelves are starting to fill back up with Missoni returns now. Thank God. Tennessee is not the healthiest state. We're more interested in putting gravy on everything than putting low-end, mass-produced, designer-name brands on our bodies. I did not want to see all these fried-butter-eating, buffet-hopping people wearing the same zig-zag horizontal stripes all over town. I really didn't.


I didn't buy into the Missoni hype but I appreciate the fact that Chantkare created this Missoni-inspired Issoni dress to mark the occasion. It's only available on Marketplace and you don't have to bitch-slap your way through a frenzied crowd to get it. Better yet, it's only 50L. It is, however, only available in limited quantities, so if you want it, get it while it lasts HERE CLICK THIS RIGHT HERE.

Hey, look at how hard I've been working to decorate my house:


I call this style "Nostalgic Minimalist." That Rubik's Cube-inspired floor lamp (my God, we're inspired today) will blind you with all kinds of '80s awesomeness. No really, it's bright as hell but worth the burned retinas. I got it at the bright-as-hell store enLightened for 200L.

OK I think I'm done with this post now.

Happy Sunday!

P.S. To top it all off, Blogger has changed its interface. During this difficult transition, the writer is not responsible for whack formatting.

zombeh

"Emerald attempts to take a photo in Suicide City."


Every time I TP there I end up screaming like a little bitch.




It's a mother-effing zombie clown!




FYI: They can jump. And they will push you around.




So much epic fail I can hardly stand it.

I like that estetica pose a lot, but I never want to see it again. (Bollywood!)


Visit Inworld: Suicide City

This was my first time messing around with mesh (the dress and the boots). It was interesting but kind of a hassle. I screwed around with my shape for about an hour to get it to fit the dimensions of this dress and still failed. The included alpha layer was helpful, but there were still places where my shape was bulging out on the sides at first. For instance, I'm just now noticing that my arm is cutting through the sleeve when I pose. Oops. I finally shrunk all my dimensions down to zero (except my arms, apparently) and also had to add a red tank top underneath and blah and blah and blah and blah. Sheeeeeezus this paragraph is boring. Sorry.

That Nocturnal choker is ROCKIN' and it's from one of my favorite places, Bliensen + MaiTai. It'll be available at the upcoming Jewelry Fair 2011, which starts Sept. 16. (See link to the Website below.)

If you want that dress — which was a group gift from Baiastice (thank you, Sissy!) — I checked and it's still in group notices. I have no idea if you have to pay to get in that group because I've been in it since I was a little noob. It's kind of impressive that it has survived the test of time, actually. And on that note, I think we all need to post a "How to Check Group Notices" tutorial because I hear people wailing, "HELP MEEEE! I DIDN'T GET THAT NOTICE!" like the world is ending or something almost every day.

Dress: Runa_First Mesh Dress - Baiastice group gift
Boots: Madison Boots (Mesh) - Deco
Hair (except in photos 3, 5 and 7): Abigail in Pearl - Truth
Necklace: Nocturnal - coming Sept. 16 to Jewelry Fair 2011 - by Bliensen + MaiTai
Eyes: Dreamer eyes in Moonlight - Vision - Eyes by A:S:S
Skin: Layla in Grey - Glam Affair for TDR
Makeup: Sakura - Vita's Boudoir for Help Japan
Pose: Bollywood 5 - Estetica

Get out of my dreams (get into my car)

"It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live."

Amen.

This set of blackboards with various words of wisdom on them is 75L this weekend at Molto Bene. In fact, everything at Molto Bene is 75L or less this weekend. Cute houses, cute skyboxes, cute stuff — that's exciting!

And now, on a WTF note, the award for Keepin' It Classy on 9/11 goes to . . .

-- drumroll --

Natas Designs, for distributing this notecard that made me say, "Whaaaaaaa?":

"FREE BISTRO SET FOR 9/11

Enjoy this darling bistro set for 2 while you remember those who were lost in 9/11."

. . .

. . .

. . .

. . . I'm thinking no.

And it's got an American flag as a tablecloth, nonetheless! Now you can even put your dirty forks and coffee-stained cups on the stars and stripes while you contemplate one of the most horrific days in American history!

I try really hard not to get preachy here, but unfortunately the preacher in me is wailing at this one. Please don't use 9/11 as an excuse to pimp out your stuff. If you're giving out a commemorative T-shirt or something, I can live with that. But a BISTRO set?

That's so damn patriotic, I can hardly stand it.

I'm not running a picture of it. See it for yourself HERE if you so desire. I'm sure people will say that the creator had pure and good intentions behind this gift, and perhaps English isn't her native language. Points noted. And for the record, I actually really like that store. But it still gets a giant "WTF" from me today. Don't put the words "darling bistro set" in the same sentence as "those who were lost in 9/11." Just don't.

[UPDATE: Please note creator Natasha Shoteka's response to this blog post in Comments. She makes valid points and I appreciate the fact that, while sharing her perspective, she did not a) call me names, b) round up a bunch of people to call me more names and drop nasty notecards in my inventory, and c) ban me (and anyone in Comments who agrees with me) from her store. Refreshing! That really is keeping it classy. She pretty much just bitch-slapped me with a big slab of classy . . . and I liked it!]

VISIT INWORLD
Molto Bene!

Goodnight, all you moonlight ladies

There's something about the promise of crisp fall weather around the corner and the thrill of a recent boob job that's making me want to get the hell away from my computer for a while.

Plus, my expendable income is dwindling, particularly since I have no income at the moment.

So I spent the morning packing away almost all my beloved breedables. I clicked "will not renew lease" on five farm parcels and sent almost all my horses to Horse Haven. It's gotten to the point where I can't even GIVE horses away anymore, and the cost of rent, food and salt licks (to keep them happy so they'll procreate) is breaking my budget every week.

I narrowed the Meeroos down to five stumps — soon to be three — and I guess I'll pick 10 KittyCatS to live out their little 120-day lifespans. At least I'm still selling a few of those kittens. I was never out to make a fortune with these things, but I at least need to make SOME money to feed them.

But the Wildwood cats - blah - I just couldn't delete them or even send them to their imaginary "cat sanctuary." The thought of doing it just broke my heart. Isn't that stupid?

I put them in folders in my inventory instead. Yes, they'll starve there and curl up into black, comatose cat circles with red X's for eyes, but at least that way I can lie to myself and say that someday I'll take out my favorite ones and revive them.

Until then, sleep tight my little friends. SL is going to be kind of lonely without you.

That's my name! Wear it out!

Hey, guess what? Somebody named a house after me!


WOOT WOOT!

The Wynn Cottage is Awesome Blossom's prize in The Platinum Hunt Deux, which ends tomorrow (hopefully at the end of the day or I'm going to feel like a total ass for once again posting something you can only get at the very last minute).

Thank you, Clementine Ishtari!

It's got a bird on it! If you look at the built-in plant shelves on the outside windows you'll . . .

. . . WTF, a FRUIT FLY just drowned in my delicious glass of Chardonnay. Hey, I'M DRINKIN' IT ANYWAY, Fruit Fly! You will not ruin my relaxing cocktail hour! And quite possibly that word could become "hours" because I'm a little tense these days. I don't have a job; my grandmother recently passed away; my new boobs still look weird; I haven't had sex in, like, 8 billion years; I've got cramps that would make a grown man curl up in a corner and cry; I'm trying to kick a bad Xanax habit and consequently my hands are all shaky and I want to scream my head off and kick somebody's ass; and my SL is filled with needy, fake animals that just keep multiplying and attaching themselves to me sentimentally.
And one more semicolon for the hell of it: ;

So get out your violin and enjoy that whole trip through my digestive system, Fruit Fly. You're going down.

Sorry. Back to the house. It's 88 prims, a little weathered — like my life! — and really cute with two rooms plus mud room. Mud roooooooooom! You can get all cozy up in your own if you swing by Awesome Blossom and find the little blue box with a white ribbon around it.

Unfortunately I accidentally rezzed mine on top of some Meeroos. (The house, not the little blue box.)


Oops. Welcome to Oz, bitches.

Whatever. They're always leaving their damn crack pipes all over my parcel anyway.


See. Passed the hell out. And apparently the food is levitating. My Second Life is magic like that.

I'm glad I cranked up the terrain and sky details in my graphics preferences before I took that pic.

As long as I'm name-dropping and talking about Meeroos, that Dude Who Makes Fabuloso Hair gave me a Koi, which is pretty cool in the Cult of Meeroos. It was kind of like Elvis walking around giving Cadillacs to people on the street. Or an Oprah show. ("YOU get a Koi and YOU get a Koi and YOU get a Koi! A round of Koi for everybody!")

Thank you, Truth Hawks! (I'm all about the last names today.)


Yeah. The sleeping thing is a little annoying. I tried to wake her up but she just said "Screw you," took a hit off her crack pipe and went back to sleep. Look between her ears. See that kind of rainbow platform behind the fence? That is a WTF helicopter landing pad. And hell no, it's not mine. Where is a Homeowners Association when I need one?

Speaking of Truth (see, there was a reason for that little "look what I got!" paragraph besides just telling you that so you'll think I'm cool), a few people have stopped me and asked me where I got this hair:


It's Ricci (shown here in Bubblegum) by Truth. It does include a flower to wear in it, but not that one. So unfortunately later one girl bitch-slapped me with an all-caps message that said, "HEY MINE DIDN'T HAVE STICKS IN IT!"

Oops.

That hair ornament is called "and with bees in her breath" (75L) and it's from Split Pea. It includes another version with birds on it (birds on it!), but Coco Chanel told me to always take off one accessory before I leave the house, so the birds had to go.

But hey Truth, I guess you should make some hair with branches in it. And birds. Then you could name it Angry Birds, for all the people who got mad when they bought your hair and it didn't have sticks and birds in it. I guess I am responsible for that misunderstanding and I apologize.

Shoot, I feel like I should have included mesh somewhere in this post.

MESH

Look at that word for a long time and it starts to look really weird.

I'm going to go decorate my cottage of win now.

GET IT INWORLD
Awesome Blossom
Split Pea
Truth
The Platinum Hunt Blog (includes SLURLS of participating creators and hints)

You want this Platinum Sn@tch (and my boobs!!)

Hey, I got a boob job in real life! (Let's see if prudish PhotoBucket kills this picture.)

(Do I win the award for Most Random Way to Start an SL Blog Post?)

I didn't do it to be a sex bomb. I just got tired of being a 32 AA. Yes, AA. As in "Ain't Anything (There)." I wanted to be able to wear pretty tops and lovely lingerie and grown-up swimming suits. And I hated that moment of unveiling in front of a man — taking off my bra with four inches of padding and yelling, "FOOLED YA!" So I got some very proportionate C's. I marched into the cosmetic surgeon's office with a picture of my avie and said, "I want THIS rack right here!" (Kidding.)

As soon as they settle down, I'll be able to wear bustiers and bikinis and outfits like - dot dot dot - The Primrose Path outfit, which is Sn@tch's prize in The Platinum Hunt Deux, which started today.


Whew, I knew I'd get a segue in there somehow. All the pertinent details about the hunt are at the bottom of this post, in case you want to skip the babble.

Anyway, as for the new and improved bosom, I'm going through the post-surgery misery phase right now. Damn, these things are kind of cumbersome and uncomfortable as hell and my nipples are throbbing like a toothache and I have to wear this BDSM-style strap around my chest because the implants (saline! smooth! round! high-profile!) still haven't "dropped and fluffed" yet. In fact, the surgeon says it could take a month or two or even three before they drop and fluff. If you understand that sentence, you understand my misery, so IM me in world and let's talk fake boobs!

But enough about those things! Let's chat about a topic that nobody else is talking about: The Platinum Hunt Deux. I know many people, myself included, are on a tight budget and may take pause at the thought of paying 10L for a hunt prize. I bribed my way into the blogger preview room though, and I can attest to the fact that — depending on your tastes — most of the prizes are well worth it.

(UPDATE: Oh my GAWD, those insane girls over at The Rumor blog took pics of tons of the prizes! So see them HERE and decide for yourself.)

For instance, hell yeah I'd pay 10L for Sn@tch's Primrose Path:


It includes pink, blue and yellow versions of the cute bodysuit, the awesome netted hoop skirt and the stockings. (Also shown, not prizes: "You Lookin' Twice" pose from (pda)'s Dracula set; Belinda pumps in Rose by Berries, Inc.)

More prizes:


(My left elbow and wrist look awesome in this picture.)

- Barbarella necklace (set includes matching earrings) at #38 Donna Flora
- Platinum skin at #78 Filthy Skin, includes a cleavage option in a tattoo or undershirt layer (shown at top, fried eggs not included). WOW! I'm not used to being this tan, but I do love the lips and rosy cheeks. And the nose. I'm picky about my pixel noses. This one passes muster.
- Platina eyeshadow in Khaki at #41 Rozena (prize includes a set of six colors; the pink version is shown in pic No. 2)

(Also shown, not prizes: Tussilago eyes from the Herbalist collection at Vision - Eyes by A:S:S; Eliza hair by Rezipsa Loc.)

I'm also digging the Platinum Model pose prop, one of two prizes at #68 *BOOM*. DIGGING IT, I tell you!


Menu-driven with seven poses and six background textures.

Well. Sometimes you just have to flat-out admit that you don't know how to end a blog post.

I don't know how to end this blog post.

JOIN THE HUNT
- The Platinum Hunt Deux starts today and runs through Aug. 31.
- You are looking for a small, blue Tiffany-style box with a white bow.
- Each prize costs 10L. Prizes are guaranteed to be worth at least 400L.
- According to the Website, there are 102 stops on this hunt. The starting point is at Di's Opera.
- For more information, including a list of participating creators, their SLURLs, hints and a picture of the hunt item you're looking for, check out the Website HERE.