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Sunday, April 25, 2010

I meant for it to look like that

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Shoot. My AV is seriously starting to look like someone I'd want to bitch-slap in real life.

Must fix later.

[How to Crop a Photo, by Emerald Wynn: "Always make sure there are some random-ass TREETOPS in your photo. Then repeat after me: 'It's not all about ME, it's also about NATURE. I looked long and hard for this perfect setting to convey my deep emotions about this gown.'"]

I'm in the Fashion Bloggers group and I like it there. It makes me feel special. So occasionally I must enrich the lives of my 44 followers (wow, thank you, Followers!) with some pictures of stylish clothes. And thank you too, Blogger, for encouraging the formation of cults.

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(Pose by Get Bent.) (I think.)

Yesterday I saw this new Nerinda gown (600L) at Baiastice and screamed, "GIMME!" The weather is getting really beautiful outside -- as evident by the fact that I'm hunched over a laptop inside -- and this dress feels perfect to me: an arresting floral explosion against layers of voluminous, biting red.

("Did she just call that dress biting?!")

I'm sure that's exactly what Sissy Pessoa was thinking when she designed it: "And this one's for all those angsty bitches with spring fever!"

[How to Style a Dress, by Emerald Wynn: "Repeat this phrase after me: 'This gown is so lovely and complex that adding a necklace would just create a distracting fashion mess.' Look confident when you say it. Pretend you weren't too lazy to dig through your 90K inventory to find suitable jewelry. Nod wisely. Act like you totally planned to have green fingernails too . . . to symbolize more nature."]

So I snatched it up, took it home, put it on, went immediately up to my roof, dorked around with the dinosaur for a while, then took it off and put it in the "Dresses I Really Like" folder in my inventory. (And it was never seen again.)

Check out the back:

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Help, it's a shark.

I also bought this flirty little dress called Sweet Disposition. I believe it's somewhere in the realm of 300-and-something lindens.

[How to Disguise the Fact that You're a Somewhat Lazy Blogger, by Emerald Wynn: "Shrug and repeat after me: 'If you have to ask, you can't afford it' and bang your Sheila E. drum set. Don't forget to kick the cymbal with a paisley covered boot. Google 'cymbal' to make sure you spelled it right. Proper spelling for the win."]

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Love!

("Is that a tree coming out of your butt, or are you just happy to see me?")

Hair: Mena in Almond by Truth. Necklace: Lotus Flower by Mandala. Skin: Alyson, 9, sun-kissed, cleavage option, by Belleza. And another comma for the hell of it: ,

All excerpts are from my forthcoming book: "There's No Such Thing as a Mistake When You're a Confident Liar."

Speaking of, I've seen the feeds today. I know you can find way better photos of this FREE spiral staircase with 24 poses in it from Behavior Body (at Baiastice):

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But mine's the only one with a dinosaur and completely jacked-up stairs. (Um, be careful when you move it -- the parts aren't linked.)

"I wanted them to look like that. I'm an artist. I'm making a statement: Sometimes life just doesn't line up right."

Join me now as I try to get "Stairway to Heaven" out of my head for the rest of the day.

[A witty ending goes here.]

9 comments:

Heidi Halberstadt said...

Em,

You're absolutely not allowed to

a) ever quit blogging
b) take a course on "proper" SL fashion photography
c) stop blogging

Please blog more and please DO write a book. Love, Heidi

Krissy Muggleston said...

At least you survived the tornadoes...

Eva Bonner said...

Holy Shit!! You look all hot and stuff. Who cares what you do as long as you look hot and are funny doing it. <3<3 Y-O-U

Chalice Carling said...

I NEARLY peed my pants. You just find the realness in EVERYTHING. You cut the crap, slice it up on a platter and serve it back to us with a parsley garnish. I LOVE IT.

I don't think you'll be going to heaven on those stairs though sweetie...more like hospital ER.

In terms of SL fashion, there are no limits. "We can have it all. You hear that Manhattan? We can have it all." Sorry, just had a Sex and the City moment...it'll pass.

I second Heidi. No pressure or anything :-)
xx

Emerald Wynn said...

Awwww! "You like me! You really like me!!"

Seriously, in the midst of a real life where a client pretty much tells me every day how much she thinks I suck at my job, I can't tell you how much your very kind words mean to me. They make me teary.

*hugs all of you*

And Krissy, WOOOO yeah those tornadoes just missed us. Poor poor people down there: More than 100 homes were completely destroyed and the death toll was at 10 people and rising the last time I checked. :(

Tornadoes scare the bejeezus out of me.

Chiara Laszlo said...

I needed to look up for "bitch-slap" first... lol.. you know.. the native language issue :)

All I want to say is, please don't change anything! I love the way you write and do your pics.

I think it is the imperfection of people that makes them so lovable.

xox hugs, Chiara

thebunnygirl said...

This is a great entry! Good to see your dino again. I took a picture once on your dino and sent it to you in world, but I don't think you got it. Alternately, you hate me. =P

Either way, great entry, it made me Laugh Out Loud.

=)

Emerald Wynn said...

DOH! No! I didn't get that picture!! I'll look for it! Blah, these days I crash as soon as I log on - it takes a couple of times for it to stick, so inventory offers get lost or denied. It's kind of a crappy SLexistence right now. People could be showering me with gifts and I'd have no clue.

And thank you! I love your blog, Bunny!

thebunnygirl said...

Here's the entry with the dino piccy in it :D

http://thebunnygirl.wordpress.com/2010/03/11/i-can-only-handle-one-truth-per-week/

And thankies for the compliment!