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Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Bento, Catwa, WAA-WAA-WAAAAAAAAA!

HELP!!!!!

I need a mesh head mentor. It's all Greek to me. I'M SCARED! Do I start with a body and then get a head or vice versa?

As for the heads, do they make a girl-next-door looking one? Because that's me. Or are they all sultry supermodel-type heads? Because that's not me. I couldn't deal with that look (on me) without laughing.

In real life, I look like an aging muppet. I have to stay somewhat true to myself in the AV version or I'll feel like a phony. A girl's gotta have a code.

Oh ... wait, you want pics with this post? Ummm ... OK, hold on ....

First, a disclaimer: I am not making fun of this designer or these clothes.

That said, ready? GO: 


In real life, I live in Redneckville, Tennessee. I am not lying to you when I say that I recently saw a woman walking around the MALL in a getup like the one above. It was acid-washed. (All you youngsters will probably have to Google "acid-wash." Sorry.)

So, first, yes: I hang my head in mild shame when I admit that I was at an all-American, middle-American MALL and not shopping on Rodeo Drive or in a chic boutique somewhere. Don't tell Anna Wintour.

But anyway, that's a bathing suit, right? If not and I'm just woefully behind in the SL fashion scene, I apologize. Regardless, it still doesn't matter. We're pretty much all members of The Beautiful People Tribe in Second Life (meaning, I have yet to see a cellulite tattoo/skin layer) and, as such, we could all wear this thing anywhere inworld, no problem. But in the food court at a Tennessee mall ("MAWL")? Not so much.

Part 2:


I am SO JEALOUS of this chick's virtual butt, I want to weep. If I had a butt like this IN ANY WORLD, I feel like all my problems would be solved. I would just parade up and down ALL THE STREETS with it -- except I'd also wear a T-shirt that said, "JELLY?? Yeah you are!" on the back. 

Meanwhile, people all around me would gasp and drop to their knees and worship my glorious BOOTAY! They would chant, "BOOTAY! BOOTAY! BOOTAY!" and give me a unicorn.

It'd be the closest I'd ever get to being a princess. 

Maybe if I eat more tacos, it'll still happen someday. 

But so speaking of, we do have ACRES AND ACRES OF WOMEN wearing leggings/jeggings/pants like this in Tennessee. I try not to stare. And before you get all excited and make plans to move here, I should clarify that -- like a cheeseburger on a fast-food restaurant menu -- it usually doesn't look like the picture. So I'm just gonna say that I commend those gals for their fierce, um, pride and bravery. Rock on with your bad-ass badonkadonks, ladies! (But a tunic or an oversized shirt over those painted-on stretch pants would look cute too. *cough*)

Everything I know about the female anatomy, I learned at Walmart.

ANYWAY ...

Back to SL: I wanted to buy those leggings up there, but -- just like RL -- I think my butt is too flat in SL. Are we buying mesh butts now too? Plus, I'm assuming those are worn with appliers. Which brings us back full-circle (see what I did there?) to my "WTF MESH" dilemma.

I need a mesh body/head stylist. I could even pay you for your time if you catch me on Payday Friday.

OK, I'm still sprinting through the almost-empty SL14B sims, so I'll wrap up this babbling Even though the birthday performances are over, the sims are still open through July 2 and, blessedly, there's almost zero lag now, so if you haven't checked it out over there, you should go. 

I feel kind of bad for people who don't get EXCITED about the annual SLB festivities. I love the creative exhibits and the fun free gifts (that I love to snatch but almost never unpack). It's amazing how far SL has come.

Thank you, Creators! I bow down before you.

love, Em

Saturday, June 24, 2017

Me and my shadows


I joined SL in 2008. I don't know if I should feel accomplished or like an absolute dweeb. Mostly the latter, I think. But that's OK.

Nine years later, thanks to a decent computer, I can finally see things like Windlight settings. And shadows. And other people. And landscaping. And things don't look as jaggedy. It's like seeing this place for the first time. I can't get over how gorgeous the water looks.

I'm impressed, SL! What a difference a graphics card makes!

Anyway, switching topics:

A couple of years ago, my friend Pay was SOOOO generous and gave me a place to live when I was homeless. The land has changed hands since then, but the new owner was nice enough to let me come back and rent my former parcel from her. I'll be sharing it with a friend, but it's still, um, rather spacious at the moment:


Woo.

(Yeah, bear with me while I screw around with EVERY Windlight setting ever made. Sorry.)

I guess I need to put a BIG. DAMN. HOUSE right there in the middle of it, but that's never really been my style (except during the holidays, when my ice castle goes up). So it's still a work in progress, to put it mildly, but at least there are chairs now.

You can find "The Magical Land of E" HERE.

For now, I've set permissions to allow everyone to unpack boxes there and stuff, although my landmate and I are still working out our respective living areas. I think she's going to be up in the sky. If not, obviously I won't have as much room on the ground, but until then, if you happen to be an SL wanderer and you need a place to organize your inventory or you just want to chill out on my deck or hang out up on the moon or ride my balloon or whatever, please feel free to swing by and make yourself at home. I'm hardly ever there. If I am, please don't laugh at my standard AV body and -- holy cow -- today I'm wearing a system shirt. Don't tell anyone.

Oh, and no SLexing please, unless you absolutely get caught up in the throes of passion. In that case, please try to keep it in or near the water. I'd really like the place to stay free of bodily fluids for a while. And I hate logging in and being shocked by virtual genitals that aren't mine.


There's an old-school pose stand (and privacy) in that gazebo over there if you need to change clothes. Please be nice to Bunny. He's getting up there in years too.

(Haha, even the most supreme graphics capabilities can't make up for the fact that I still suck at taking pics. Sorry. I'm more of a words person.)

And oh yeah, there's booze and cake on the deck. Because OF COURSE!



Cake and margaritas for ALL THE PEOPLE!! WOOOOOOOT! 

Info:

  • Complete Palisades Bar set from What Next. I think it was 550L. Includes 2 stools, drinks, drink giver and garnishes. A non-alcoholic version is also available, as is a less expensive version without all the accessories. 
  • The interactive cake/slice/sugar spill in the background is a What Next group gift.
  • Aries hair in Colors 1 pack from Blues; includes HUD for the texture-change ram horns.
  • "Chill" system shirt from my 2008 inventory folder. Long sleeves courtesy of "I Can't Match My Slink Hands to My Arms Today."


OK, now that I've made my parcel somewhat presentable (cough), I'm gonna go out into the world and check out SL14B. (I say that every day. Tonight I'm DOING IT!)

Have a fabulous and colorful day! ♥

Links:
The Magical Land of E
What Next
Blues

Friday, June 23, 2017

Well hello!


HAY THERE!!! I've missed you guys!!

So it's my first time logging in since 2015 (I think) and I log on to THIS hot mess.

NICE!!

You can't really tell in this pic, but my hands are sticking out of my back.

Anyhoo ...

I finally got a computer with decent graphics. I never knew SL had so much color. I always thought it was just a jumble of vague gray shapes. But WOW, kids! Everything is so FABULOUS!

This is my first time trying to navigate ALL THE THINGS on a PC (sorry, Macs, but your graphics are so yesterday and I wanted a VR headset), so please bear with me while I try to figure some things out.

Like how to work this computer. And mesh bodies. And heads. And probably many, many other things. My AV is the now the official Queen of Throwback SL, I'm sure -- particularly since my feet are backwards and my hands are sticking out of my butt.

But whatever, youngsters. I've been around for almost 10 years. RESPECT YOUR ELDERS!

And on that note ... HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SECOND LIFE! WOOT WOOT!!! I'll be hanging on these SLB sims for the next few days. LOVE THEM.

More later!

**picks up my floating shoes and hobbles off to the giant birthday cake**

XO, Em

Thursday, October 13, 2016

What the hell has happened over here??

None of my photos are showing up anymore.

Perfect.

Thanks, Photobucket.

Saturday, November 14, 2015

None of my words are working today (Free 'Pray for Paris' T-shirt)

 photo Paris T_zpseg6bxn9i.jpg
(Not responsible for my avatar's Resting Bitch Face.)

There are people out there who will write deeply moving and possibly comforting things about Paris today. I'm not one of those people. All I can say is "I'm so sorry."

For those who are also at a loss for words, here are a couple of options:

Chopard Couture has a free mesh "Pray for Paris" T-shirt (shown above), including versions for men and women, on the SL marketplace HERE, as well as at the inworld store.

– A lot of people are hanging out over on the Paris 1900 sim, where you can grab a free "Je suis Paris" sign in the gazebo:

 photo je suis_zpslxi8nkuj.jpg

That's about as far as I got in SL today before I crashed. My graphics card couldn't handle all the action, but here's a YouTube video that'll give you an idea of what's been going on over at that sim, courtesy of Grange Wood. (I don't know Grange. People were shouting about this video in open chat. I scanned through it and I don't think anything X-rated is going to pop up, no pun intended.)


I'm sure someone will organize some kind of structured event soon. When I was there, it was mainly just a sea of people standing around talking – which sometimes can be pretty comforting. 

My faith is a little shaky these days, but yes, in case anyone's listening, I too am praying for Paris – and all of us, actually.

Additional credit: Hair – Louisa by Truth. I love this style because it looks like an updated version of his now-retro Emerald hair, the naming of which remains a highlight of my SL life. ;)

Saturday, October 31, 2015

I'm an intellectual witch. With antlers. And wings. I don't know.

 photo boohoo_zpsuhorge2z.jpg

HAPPY HALLOWEEN, Y'ALL!

That pic up there is called "Play a gacha scavenger hunt game, put on ALL THE PRIZES at one time!"

Wow, my boobs look like they could use some perky slider adjustments. I just wanna grab them and shove them up a little. Maybe I'll crack one of these days and go completely mesh like the rest of the grid. I feel all lonely in my original shape.

And yeah, I floundered at matching my Slink hands to that (older 50L Friday) skin, so I tried to cover up the wrist lines with long gloves. I can see from this pic that I failed. Nice try though!

Aside from that sudden attack of body neurosis, this has been a fun Halloween in SL. I want to thank all the creators who gave out tricks and treats during the TAG Gacha Halloween game, which ends ... well, tonight at midnight – so as usual, this blog is helpful.

You do, however, have through Nov. 21 to visit and play the stunningly visual interactive game at Carver's End, courtesy of Pulse Games and Snatch City. I played it three times last night, mainly because there was so much to see that I had to check it out more than once, but also because at first I had no clue there were tons of fantastic prizes from 21 fabulous designers hidden in those rats all over the place. Check out the website HERE and the Facebook page HERE for the skinny on all of it.

I wasn't the only one who was slightly clueless last night. I kept getting messages from other players wailing, "Hey, what are we supposed to be doooooing??" I got a little weary answering them.

Put on the radio HUD. Walk through the gates. Click "Yes" when you get a message asking for permission to teleport you at random times, etc. Listen to your radio HUD for clues. Read messages like this:

[2015/10/30 19:45] CARVER'S END RADIO HUD: : What the HELL....? It looks like a massacre in here. So much blood...but where are the bodies? Hello....?

Awesome.

Start by walking down the first street and trick-or-treating at all the houses. Knock on every door. If you happen to get sucked into a scary room, use your SL smarts and figure a way out. Go into all the public places. TOUCH ALL THE THINGS. Get to Mayor Carver's house. Look around in there. And maybe I'm not supposed to tell you much more. Is this cheating? I don't know. At one point I used Wireframe in the SL Advanced menu to get myself out of a maze from hell. And yes, that was cheating. Sorry.

AND DO TOUCH AND BUY ANY RAT YOU SEE! Don't figure that out AT THE END like I did.

Anyway.

Here's my costume tonight.

 photo samara_zpswubjnpnw.jpg

This Samara AV (movie: "The Ring") from Boudoir (400L) is a little old-school, but it's still cool. The dress and socks are mesh. You'll have to strip down to your original AV for the rest of it, which also includes a shape, skin, eyes, hair, a creepy AO and a VCR tape (not pictured). I switched out the included eyes for some other ones by A.S.S. and added some bloody tattoos to the face, along with some black-and-bloody fingernail GLOVES, and MAN, it's been a while since I dug those out of my inventory. Sometimes being an SL hoarder comes in handy, no pun intended.

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BOO!

Speaking of creepy, much thanks to my friend Serenity Semple for posting this Slenderman doll on her blog. I saw it and screamed, "GIMME!"

 photo slenderman_zpstnnccygn.jpg

Get it at Trunk or Treat through Nov. 18. (200L, includes rezzable and holdable versions)

And if you're out trick or treating tonight, feel free to swing by my Wonderland of WTF and grab a cupcake, spider ring and candy and get your fortune told.

 photo wonderland_zpsec1vwtsx.jpg

I'm sure that stuff'll be out until I feel like putting up Christmas decorations. (Apologies to my new neighbors.)

Tuesday, October 20, 2015

Gratitude

 photo land_zpsbytlyaka.jpg

This post is waaaaay overdue, but I want to give a heartfelt thanks to my friend Paypabak Writer and her friend Ghanie Lane for letting me use one of their parcels to call home for a while.

I'm trying not to horrify them with my typical amusement park style of decorating, but it's MY FAVORITE HALLOWEEN TIME so it's hard.

I became a fan of Pay's waaaaaaay back in the day when I lurked around regularly on the former slFIX/Moonletters blog. Through that blog, she and writer Shauna Vella helped me immensely in getting my bearings when I was a noob. I was always too socially awkward to introduce myself in person though, beyond leaving occasional comments.

You can check out Paypabak's Tumblr blog HERE. It's awesome.

OK, so HALLOWEEN!

 photo cheap halloween stuff_zpsixjgzrus.jpg

Even though my inventory tops 200K, I didn't have the energy to dig around in it for some of my older Halloween stuff, so I hunted on Marketplace for some cheapies. I found that pumpkin house (actually, it came in a set of two – one with a wide door, shown, and one with a smaller door) for 50L, along with that Halloween treehouse for 50L, both by creator Rod Eun of RE Blueprint Designs. Sure they're a little old-school, but they're cute and they work for me. All the rest of the stuff scattered around is stuff I acquired during recent 50L Fridays. JACK-O-LANTERNS GALORE!

I haven't checked out any of SL's haunted attractions yet. Right now I'm playing the TAG! Gacha Halloween game and trying not to go too nuts with the whole gacha thing. Gawd damn, it has drug habit potential though. Feed those machines money and mainline ALL THE CUTE LITTLE THINGS!

I have no other news. The other day I read through some past blog posts here. They all seemed so full of a juvenile sense of joy and discovery. I don't seem to have that these days. Maybe I'll get that mojo back. Maybe not. I guess if the mood strikes me I'll write something. I write so much drivel all day IRL just to survive ("Five Things You Should Know About Seeing a Chiropractor!") that the keyboard seems kind of nausea-inducing when I have a few free moments to NOT write something.

Anyway, I hope everyone's having fun during this Halloween season. I am. No matter how far I wander from SL, it'll always suck me back in during the holidays. ;)

Monday, August 31, 2015

Slumming it

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I'm over the sappy emo-drenched post of yesterday, although the sentiments remain. Let's chalk that one up to hormones and exhaustion and RL stress. Unlike other overly emotional posts in the past, I'm not going to delete that one, though. Moving off Bluebonnet is an SL milestone for me, albeit a sad one. It needed to be chronicled, angst and all.

Anyway, moving on now with an attempt at a sense of humor and all that:

For a few years, I've been seeing that "Your own private home in Second Life: A new benefit for Premium Members!" ad on the Second Life website.

I've been a premium member since I joined SL and have never really taken advantage of any of the premium member stuff (except the linden allowance). So all right, FREE LINDEN HOME! Let's do this! Gimme my 516 square meters and let's ... oh, LAWDY:

 photo FML1_zpsugabzkg9.jpg

Can you guess which house is mine? BRINGING THE MOON TO YOUR JAM-PACKED SIM SINCE 2015, BITCHES! 

I wonder if they're going to let me keep that "Sitting on the Moon" prop up there? The land covenant says (loosely), "No building things in the sky," but what about, um, just throwing things up into the sky? I guess we'll see.

Anyway, wow. Just wow. LOOKIT THIS PLACE! I can't stop laughing. It's so ... like, I could reach a hand out my window and slap my next-door neighbor in the face. If there was a next-door neighbor, that is. The place seems deserted. I cammed into some nearby houses (don't tell anyone) and saw nothing. Hell, if that's the case, could I pleeeeeease have some breathing room around my house, Linden Lab? I give you all my monies. I barely ask for anything.

At least I'm up on a hill and not down amid all that squalor. Did that sound snobby? Sorry.

And I can see the ocean, if I climb up on my moon. As such, I put my "ocean sound effects" rock on my porch. We can always pretend the ocean is right there, as long as we don't look out the ... oh, actually those windows are fake. You can't look out them. Maybe that's a good thing.

I have soooo many things to say about these Linden homes, but I have actual work to do today, so let me just share some key observations:

1. Perhaps if this idea ever goes back to the drawing board, they could think of a more economical use of land impact and space? These houses take up the entire parcel and leave residents with a mere land capacity of 117 to play with. And oh, ZERO YARD SPACE.

Granted, if you're prone to fugging up your yard with bizarre sh*t, maybe the lack of a yard is an intentional blessing for the strangers around you.

But seriously, I don't need this much living space in a house. It looks like a scene from The Shining in here.

 photo the shining_zpsjrnzz5fh.jpg

Redrum.

I did not adjust my camera lens, and I did not even back all the way up against the opposite wall. That is seriously what it looks like in there.

Couldn't they have a "tiny house" option for those of us solo-dwellers who are gardening enthusiasts and like to, you know, plant our own trees? As in, trees that don't look like sad 2010-era paper cutouts?

2. Choosing one of these houses is a dice roll. Fortunately, you can abandon and reclaim a new house up to five times in a 24-hour period. Then you have to wait 24 hours. Then you can try again.

You can choose your theme: fantasy dwellings, rustic cabins, modern suburbia or traditional Japanese homes. Each theme has a choice of several house styles. Unfortunately, you can't choose the location. And many of these locations are ... I'm sorry, Lindens, but I'm just going to say it ... sketchy.

Case in point: I started with one of the Elderglen fantasy-themed homes. (My friend Deoridhe managed to do some awesome stuff with hers: check her far-more-positive blog post here.) I chose the same one she did, actually, because it had several rooms.

Unfortunately, you don't get to see the actual houses you're choosing: You do it all from your SL dashboard and then you get a SLURL to your new home. But when I got there, my house was crammed up against a hill on one side, so much so that grass was sticking through one wall.

And then the rest of the sim: So many residents had put up those privacy barriers/no-fly-zone things around their homes that the whole place looked like a giant crime scene.

I've been around in SL long enough that I don't care who the hell walks in my house or sees me naked. I just don't. And it's not like they're going to steal my stuff. I did walk in on a couple SLexing in my skybox once when I was a noob. It traumatized me back then. Now I'd probably try to take a picture first before telling them to get out.

Anyway, this post could go on forever with the failed attempts at finding a house that wasn't in a weird position or hanging off a cliff or slammed up against someone else's crime scene tape that jutted through the window or flashed on and off like a disco nightmare.

3. In terms of pleasant-looking sims, I had better luck with the Japanese-themed homes. The one I finally picked, pictured up there at the top of this post, is on a sim called Daylily. (I can't seem to get away from the floral thing.) It's bearable. I don't spend a lot of time inworld anyway these days, so whatever.

That Japanese symbol on the front says, "You're too broke to own decent land."

I still have my eye on this fantasy-themed version:

 photo shireshear_zps4lcjb4id.jpg
(Photo stolen from Jack Linden on the SL Community Boards. Sorry, Jack. Let me know if it bugs you. I know you read this blog avidly.)

Mainly because it has GRASS on the roof to make up for the lack of a yard and OH WHAT FUN I could have with that. The dinosaur wants out of my inventory!

But those official SL pictures lie. No way is there that much space around these homes. They might as well name the sims SardineLand, CrowdedHouses, JapanCram and GetOffaMyLawn.

I don't have the time or energy to keep spinning the Linden Home roulette wheel right now. At least the house I have at the moment has open space on one side. That seems like kind of a rarity among these things.

I have to go. In real life, I'm writing an article on "How to Have Great Sex When You're Also a Cancer Patient" for a health magazine. It's having a rather bleak effect on my mood, to put it mildly. Can you tell?