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Tuesday, June 27, 2017

Bento, Catwa, WAA-WAA-WAAAAAAAAA!

HELP!!!!!

I need a mesh head mentor. It's all Greek to me. I'M SCARED! Do I start with a body and then get a head or vice versa?

As for the heads, do they make a girl-next-door looking one? Because that's me. Or are they all sultry supermodel-type heads? Because that's not me. I couldn't deal with that look (on me) without laughing.

In real life, I look like an aging muppet. I have to stay somewhat true to myself in the AV version or I'll feel like a phony. A girl's gotta have a code.

Oh ... wait, you want pics with this post? Ummm ... OK, hold on ....

First, a disclaimer: I am not making fun of this designer or these clothes.

That said, ready? GO: 


In real life, I live in Redneckville, Tennessee. I am not lying to you when I say that I recently saw a woman walking around the MALL in a getup like the one above. It was acid-washed. (All you youngsters will probably have to Google "acid-wash." Sorry.)

So, first, yes: I hang my head in mild shame when I admit that I was at an all-American, middle-American MALL and not shopping on Rodeo Drive or in a chic boutique somewhere. Don't tell Anna Wintour.

But anyway, that's a bathing suit, right? If not and I'm just woefully behind in the SL fashion scene, I apologize. Regardless, it still doesn't matter. We're pretty much all members of The Beautiful People Tribe in Second Life (meaning, I have yet to see a cellulite tattoo/skin layer) and, as such, we could all wear this thing anywhere inworld, no problem. But in the food court at a Tennessee mall ("MAWL")? Not so much.

Part 2:


I am SO JEALOUS of this chick's virtual butt, I want to weep. If I had a butt like this IN ANY WORLD, I feel like all my problems would be solved. I would just parade up and down ALL THE STREETS with it -- except I'd also wear a T-shirt that said, "JELLY?? Yeah you are!" on the back. 

Meanwhile, people all around me would gasp and drop to their knees and worship my glorious BOOTAY! They would chant, "BOOTAY! BOOTAY! BOOTAY!" and give me a unicorn.

It'd be the closest I'd ever get to being a princess. 

Maybe if I eat more tacos, it'll still happen someday. 

But so speaking of, we do have ACRES AND ACRES OF WOMEN wearing leggings/jeggings/pants like this in Tennessee. I try not to stare. And before you get all excited and make plans to move here, I should clarify that -- like a cheeseburger on a fast-food restaurant menu -- it usually doesn't look like the picture. So I'm just gonna say that I commend those gals for their fierce, um, pride and bravery. Rock on with your bad-ass badonkadonks, ladies! (But a tunic or an oversized shirt over those painted-on stretch pants would look cute too. *cough*)

Everything I know about the female anatomy, I learned at Walmart.

ANYWAY ...

Back to SL: I wanted to buy those leggings up there, but -- just like RL -- I think my butt is too flat in SL. Are we buying mesh butts now too? Plus, I'm assuming those are worn with appliers. Which brings us back full-circle (see what I did there?) to my "WTF MESH" dilemma.

I need a mesh body/head stylist. I could even pay you for your time if you catch me on Payday Friday.

OK, I'm still sprinting through the almost-empty SL14B sims, so I'll wrap up this babbling Even though the birthday performances are over, the sims are still open through July 2 and, blessedly, there's almost zero lag now, so if you haven't checked it out over there, you should go. 

I feel kind of bad for people who don't get EXCITED about the annual SLB festivities. I love the creative exhibits and the fun free gifts (that I love to snatch but almost never unpack). It's amazing how far SL has come.

Thank you, Creators! I bow down before you.

love, Em

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