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Monday, March 21, 2011

Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse . . .

So, I haven't been blogging much lately because I've had this weird black thing sticking out of my head:


That's attractive.

Oh yeah, and only a few textures on my body will rez at a time. That's why I didn't blog anything cool for St. Patrick's Day — like this Shamrock Dress from A Touch of Ireland.

So, back to the black curse. Here's what it looks like on a ranch:


FML

Speaking of my ranch:

"Dear Person With That Big Damn Shiny Silver House in the Background,

"When you rented that parcel, did you not read the sim rules? The ones that said, 'This land is zoned for farming and breeding. Please make sure all buildings, structures and landscaping match the farming theme'? Because that doesn't look like a barn to me, baby. I even scooted a silver horse over there and it's still not working out.

"Bottom line: Your hipster house is jacking with my cowgirl vibe and screwing up my farmlike pictures. Please GET IT THE HELL AWAY FROM ME.

"Love, Your Neighhhhhh-bor,
"Emerald 'Hey, Lookit This Black Thing Sticking Out of My Head' Wynn"

And now, back to the tumor.

I detached everything, ran around naked for a while, switched shapes, cried, tried wearing giant hats, rebaked, restarted, prayed, switched eyes, cursed . . . nothing worked. It was dismal. I had pretty much resigned myself to being "That Chick with that Creepy Black Thing Sticking Out of Her Head," when I got the bright idea to completely uninstall SL and reinstall a Beta version.

IT WORKED! IT WORKED!

As long as we're on the subject of BLECH, here's what you look like on my viewer when you're wearing those ass-crack jeans:


Walking around with your legs spread and your butt hanging out — and I think your tattoo layer is on top of your clothes — what would your MOTHER say? Plus, all you need now is a facelight shoved down there (see previous post) and you could be Casper the Friendly Ass for Halloween.

The Ambien thought that last comment was hilarious.

Anyway, I was so excited to get my normal head back that I put on this giant Siren hair by Shag and a face tattoo that should probably be in an inventory folder called, "These Face Tattoos are the New Bling." OK, so it's a little gaudy. Who cares? Look at the EYES!!!!


My sexy friend Photos Niko-I-always-screw-up-his-last-name-o of A:S:S made me these Super Exclusive Emerald Rezday Eyes for my rez day!! It made me get a little teary! He also included awesome bling reflex prims to remind me of the good old days when I joined SL three years ago. I tried to get them blinging in the picture but the flashes are tiny and small so I gave up. He offered to make them bigger. I coughed politely and said no.

I need to talk about Fashion For Life for a second.

Today (3/22) is the last day of Fashion For Life — you have all day and all night to check out the beautiful creations that some of SL's most talented designers are selling to raise money for cancer research. I had picked out 12 outfits to blog to promote this event. But then my MacBook Pro started making these horrible sounds like a rickety airplane trying to take off. And then it got hot. REAL hot, as in, I could fry an egg on this thing, I swear. AND THEN my boss told me I had to spend a week in Oklahoma. So that's where I am now, halfway to Oklahoma. Add to all that a jaggedy black thing sticking out of my head and making me feel depressed and ashamed and you've got total blog fail.

I can show you one dress now though. It's not my usual style and catapulted me way the hell out of my comfort zone . . . and then I realized that's what good fashion should do: Inspire us to want to see ourselves in new ways.


Svara Wrap Dress (wrap version) in Nude (350L) by Zaara. If that's too much skin for you, a more modest version is included. (Shoes by Pixel Mode; jewelry by League; and I forgot to write down the name of this cool pose. If it's yours, please let me know so I can credit it.)

I think it's sexy as hell. The only thing that made me feel a little unsettled was the back:


Wooooo! I'm not used to showing that much cheek! ("Hey, that's not farming attire!")

GET WRAPPED:
Zaara is on the Fashion for Life Mapplethorpe sim
Read the Fashion for Life blog HERE

8 comments:

Photos Nikolaidis said...

My last neighbour had a "Mexican villa"... a little stereotype native american tipi village, a playground for his "kids" and for shorter periods, an ugly ass four story shop filled with resale vendors, a 15 store apartment building where he tried to rent out 50 prim apartments for 400L a week (not a huge success) AND for a while something we had no clue what it was, but called "the sphere of doom". When he moved it took me about 0.0002 seconds to buy his plot to prevent further neighbour disasters.

PS. Are you SURE you don't want bigger eyebling?

Tigo Volare said...

Thanks for making me laugh, as your posts usually do Emerald! That thingy in your head looks like a corrupted, OR a very-well put-together-piece-of-art-hairbase. I tried to make one look like yours just now, and failed. But surely, since you're a 3 years old goat, you changed hairbases too in your attemps to get rid of it? I hope? :P

whispermizin said...

Seriously laughed my ass off @ "tumor" loooooool - Thanks for making me spit out my morning coffee :P

HarleyQuinn Constantine said...

You "crack" me the hell up

Anonymous said...

How and where did you make these pictures?

Emerald Wynn said...

These were all taken on my farm parcels. I later discovered that this is what a certain eyebrow layer was doing when "global illumination" was checked. This was back in the day when they were still experimenting with shadows. Mystery solved! :D

Anonymous said...

Hi, I have the same problem... black thingy sticking out of my head, it's a pain. I currently use Phoenix, what version should I download then?
Thank you so much =)

Aline Dubratt

Emerald Wynn said...

Hi Aline!

I figured out that for some weird reason whenever I had my shadows and atmosphere lighting clicked on in Preferences/Graphics, it made that black thing. I had to live without shadows for a while, but the problem corrected itself when I switched to an updated viewer. Also, I think it was my eye prims that were creating it, combined with the shadows. I always use the SL viewers - sadly, I'm not sure about the other viewers. Whenever the main SL viewer seems borked, I try out the beta version that's also available on the downloads page. Between the two of them, one of them is bound to work. (Knock on wood.) I hope that helps - SL can get so irritating sometimes.