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Saturday, March 5, 2011

Fade to grey


I've been meaning to post several Skin Fair posts, but my cat of 18 years, Hopscotch, died last week, and I didn't realize how empty and ouchy and lonely my life would be without her. As pathetic and cat-lady as it sounds, I didn't realize my best friend was a cat until she was gone.

Get out the violins because there's nobody waiting for me when I get home from work now, and she's not sleeping next to me when I wake up in the middle of the night in the aftermath of bad dreams, and she's not standing outside the bathroom in the morning when I'm in the shower, loudly demanding breakfast. After almost two decades of moves, new jobs, falling in love, falling out of love, three failed engagements, pregnancy scares, alternately rolling in dough and dodging bill collectors, triumphs, tragedies, punching cervical cancer in the face and just sitting around doing nothing together, she's gone and I'll never see her again. Along this wild, sometimes terrifying and ultimately beautiful path that has carried me through my entire adult life, I have always been accompanied by my faithful little furry friend and now she's gone and LEFT ME HERE ALL ALONE.

*throws something*

I got her when I was 22, moving into my very first apartment in a new city where I knew absolutely no one, living alone for the first time as I started my first job out of college. I turn 40 this year. It's almost like she said, "OK, you're all grown up now. I got you this far, but now I have to leave you."

I've had other pets die before, but nothing has been as crushingly painful as this. I have two kittens that I got for Christmas, but they're sort of into themselves. I don't know if we'll ever bond or not. I'm kind of just a source of food for them right now.

My cat Hopscotch was a long-haired calico. The day after she died, my Wildwood cats gave birth to this fluffy tricolor with rainbow eyes. I've never seen rainbow eyes before - not in auctions or marketplaces - so that's kind of weird. Weeeeeeeeird. This is the only kind of spectacular cat I've ever been able to breed:


Blah, I'm bawling again so let's stop talking about her.

Speaking of Wildwoods, it's time for some new holiday elegants. Between now and March 18 (I think), any bundle that your Wildwoods drop could potentially hold some St. Patrick's Day goodness:


I bought those. I don't mess around when it comes to anything that's spectacularly St. Patrick's-y. I just scream, "GIMME!" and grab it.

Anyway.

I found another new-to-me skin designer called Mojo BodyBoutique at the Vanity Universe Skin Fair. Tomorrow's the last day, BTW, so get ye over there pronto if you've been meaning to go.


Pretty! This is called Alba in Hazelnut 01. See the shadow under the chin? That's an attachment on my mouth that's included with the skin. I thought that was kind of an interesting touch. And now what can we learn about poses and prim sleeves from this picture, kids? Oops. (Hair: Neve by Truth. Eyes: Madagascar by Adam n Eve.)

I used to be anti big-lips when it came to skins, but I've noticed I'm not as anti about them anymore. Maybe it's because I don't have a choice.

Oh and I bought a couple of Amaretto unicorns. Well, a unicorn and a pegacorn, to be exact.


We look kind of no-nonsense in this pic. (My posse's on Broadway.)

I didn't have to pay as much as you would expect for them because they're a couple of old ladies and only have a few babies left in them before they hit retirement age. So I'm breeding them like mad in the hopes that one of them will throw another unicorn before their wombs get cold and barren. ("Throw" = give birth to. I'm getting the breedables lingo down.)

I know how they feel: Getting old and tired while people are watching you and hoping you'll pull it together at the last minute and do something remarkable.

MY GOD THIS POST IS DEPRESSING.

I'm gonna try again later this weekend. Right now I think I'll go meet some people at an Irish pub. There's nothing like the ambience of an Irish pub in Memphis, Tennessee. *cough*

GET YOUR SKINS ON
Vanity Universe Skin Fair (lasts through March 6)
Mojo BodyBoutique (store)

15 comments:

Sophia Harlow said...

Oh Em.

I am so sorry. I just don't know what to say to you.

love you.

Nuuna Nitely said...

Awww got me all teary. I know exactly how you feel. I lost my cat of 16 years last august and it still hurts when I think of her.:( Not pathetic at all! *hugs*

Whispers said...

*big hugs* I'm so sorry!!!

Meara Deschanel said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your kitty Em. I understand how you feel, and no it's not silly or pathetic at all. I lost my boy Patches two years ago and I still miss him. *hugs*

Deoridhe said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, Em. *hugs*

♪ Guenevere ♪ said...

I am sorry for your loss, Emerald. My cat's almost 17 and I know that when he is gone there will also be a huge emptiness in the house.

Good luck with the Unicorns!

Tashi Core said...

I am sorry too. We do feel for you.

Anonymous said...

All I can say is Hugs, I am so sorry, Emerald. I feel your pain and loss.

Mysti Thorne

Shuan Aie said...

I'm sorry to hear that Em. :(

Tina said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Aradia Jameson said...

sorry for your loss, Em. you cant realize how much a cat means unless you have one yourself.
many hugs <3

Lucy Lourbridge said...

Sorry for your loss :( You are not alone in the aging business... I will be 40 later this month. Biggest hugs <3

Kivrin Caedmon said...

Hiya Emerald....*hugehugs* I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my male cat, Sheaffer, of 20 years just a few months ago, and it was soooo difficult for me. He was my boy, and I loved him soooo much!! I'd had him since he was just a kitten and he'd been with me through so much. He was my rock. Hang in there, sweets!! It will get easier with time, I promise.
~Kiv

Anonymous said...

Aww sorry, big hugs to you (

Amie

Softpaw Sommer said...

http://www.softpaw.org/rainbow/rainbow.htm

If you've never read that it will make the rainbow eyed wildwood all the more special to you now.

Pardon the cheesy websight,I made that in the 90's.

I'm still morning the loss of my Mystique over a year ago so I know just how you feel *hugs*