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Wednesday, March 30, 2011

We don't have to take our clothes off to have a good time

It's been a while since something in Second Life has made me go, "WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOOO! WEEEEEEEEE!" in real life:


This thing did though.

Origami Bird, 100L, at the Help Japan market. Four people can fly in it!

In other news, I'm still crashing about every six minutes. I've tried doing a complete uninstall and reinstall, switched a beta viewer for the actual viewer and then switched them back, cleared my cache, etc., etc. I ran a diagnostic utility and noticed that every time SL crashes, my computer prints a "Cannot find executable for SLPlugin [blah blah blah blah blah complicated computer stuff]" message in its crash log thingy.

I'm premium, baby, so I did something I always dread and started a support chat session with SL support. The conversation went something like this:

SL Support: Hi, I'm helping several residents so it may take time for me to respond, OK? How can I help you?
Emerald: Well, I'm crashing on an average of once every six minutes. I've done a complete uninstall and reinstalled the viewer. I ran a diagnostic utility and I keep getting a message about a missing SLPlugin right before I crash though. It says, "Cannot find executable for SLPlugin [blah blah blah complicated computer stuff]."
SL Support: Did you try clearing your cache?
Emerald: Yes - I not only cleared it, but I deleted the whole application and reinstalled it.
SL Support: Did you try rebuilding your avatar?
Emerald: Rebuilding my avatar?
SL Support: Please watch this video — [insert link to an old Torley Linden tutorial] — and rebuild your avatar. Then clear your cache. Then restart your computer. Sometimes that helps crashing.
Emerald: Is that going to turn me back into a noob avatar? The one in that ugly pink polka dot dress?
SL Support: Yes but it helps crashing.
Emerald: Well, OK, but my computer told me what the problem is — it's freezing up when it can't find an SL plugin called [long complicated name].
SL Support: What?
Emerald: I ran diagnostics, and every time I crash, I get the message "Cannot find executable for SLPlugin [blah blah blah more complicated words go here]."
SL Support: Oh it sounds like you have a plug-in problem.
*Emerald screams in frustration*
Emerald: Yes, I said that at the beginning of this conversation.
SL Support: You'll have to file a ticket. Can I help you with anything else?
Emerald: No. Thank you. (This has been the most helpful conversation of my entire life. It has totally been worth the $90 USD a year or whatever the hell I'm paying — not to mention a couple hundred dollars in land tier a month — to basically log into a virtual world and crash out of it every six minutes. Thank you for reading my chat so carefully. Thank you for taking the time to put down your little plastic laminated card — the one that probably tells you to tell every single resident to clear his or her cache and restart the computer — and give my problem your undivided expert techie attention. Thank you for acknowledging the fact that I even dug out a "run this when you have computer problems" utility and went to all the trouble to copy a diagnostics log so you would have all the information you might need to help me. Thank you for existing. Thank you. Sorry. I'm bitchy today. But thank you.)

I would leave forever if I weren't responsible for the fake lives of hundreds of procreating pixels.

VISIT IN WORLD
Help Japan

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I gave up 3 Premium accounts when I finally realized I never got any support for any issue. I accidentally deleted the wrong av one day, and immediately asked to have that av restored..they say they can do it for a couple of weeks. Nothing they could do could restore her so I could at least get her Ls and transferable items, even for the $9.95 they charge for that service, even after only one day.
I hope you get that issue solved, better to ask on a forum than go to support.
Don't you leave!

Mysti Thorne
The quiet one on your friend's list.

♪ Guenevere ♪ said...

Wow that's right up there with the time I called a tech guy about my internet (who was a native Spanish speaker so was hard to understand him to begin with). Eventually he told me to completely upsurge my Windows despite be telling him it wouldn't work. Why would you have to go into Windows root files fix your internet anyways? :-p

Needless to say, I gave him a really nasty customer review.

Hope you get things fixed soon.

Tigo Volare said...

Forget about CS, they always blame your computer while it's usually an error on their end.
Right before you crash, do you notice if everything is moving slower, maybe even freezing up frames, or do you crash suddenly?
That crash log might be irrelevant, it could be jsut the result of what happens after you crash

Nina Sangria said...

Best thing about having a computergeek boyfriend and a plethora of programmers in friendgroup: never having to deal with shitty *support teams* for technical issues \o/

All I have to deal with then is the *you poor little a-technical girl/damsel in distress, let me help you* looks. Which is difficult because I'm independent!!!1111oneeleven (ok not so much obviously).

Can't you go ask on the SL forums or the SLUniverse forums? Might be more of a help..

Emerald Wynn said...

I'm going to probably start with dropping off my Mac at the Apple Genius Bar and making sure it's optimized and all that. I had it custom-made with an awesome graphics card, etc., and it cost a fortune, so they should look at it anyway.

Then I should probably delete almost everything in my inventory. It's huge. I'm sure it isn't helping things.

Then if none of that works, who knows. Maybe it's God telling me to get up off my ass and frolic around in the beautiful real world. Seriously.

Tigo Volare said...

Yes I hear God uses peoples computer nowadays to give them signs from above. Rolls eyes. You're not allowed to leave SL, you can't get rid of us that easily!

Aisuru Rieko said...

I have no idea what the issue is, I wish I did so I could help, it's quite apparent LL wasn't any. You could try coming over to SLU http://www.sluniverse.com/php/ and asking there if anyone knows something that might help, there's a load of people who know the program inside out there.