Monday, May 31, 2010

Narcotic puppet


(Hey, I can teleport again!)

It's about time for me to change my Big Damn Cement House to something else. As much of an eyesore as this house is, I really love it because it has all kinds of cool controls for the lights, fireplaces, blinds, a secret hideaway, etc. etc.

But I have a huge folder full of "Houses 2010" just begging to be set free. I buy houses impulsively, much like I buy eyes. (Hi, my name is Emerald and I am a Second Life eye addict -- where the hell is my support group?)

Plus, I found a new-to-me furniture store that I love. I want to write about it. But first I have to change houses. So the furniture store blog post gets added to the list of "blog posts I really want to write but probably never will because I'm such a lazy procrastinator."

The thought of changing houses makes me exhausted.


Maybe that picture should be bigger.

And that jacked-up hairline is why I usually run screaming away from updos.

I've been wanting to write a "Narcotic Puppet" post for a while, and my original intention was to dress all beat-down and gloomy for it. But I opted for colors instead. We'll get to why in a minute.

I guess I've been living in a cave or something because I didn't realize Eshi Otawara has a store at Black Liquid. I heard a rumor a while back that she had left SL. Apparently not. Yesterday I saw a gorgeous picture of one of her (new-to-me) creations on the gorgeous, gorgeous Kyrie Source blog, and I ran over there as fast as I could.

Those eyes, BTW, are from MiaSnow's Genuine line of eyes. I have mixed feelings about the "realistic" whites. If I wanted to see bloodshot eyes, I could just look in the mirror. But I love the color, and these eyes - along with examples from her other lines - are in a free sample eye pack gift in her store. Go get it!

The hair: I'm a Truth hair loyalist, first because his hair is full of win and second, because he is extraordinarily kind to me. But occasionally I want hair that screams, "I'M FRIGGIN' EXOTIC AND AS SUCH, GAWD-DAMN FASCINATING," and when that happens, I run to a few other favorites. This W&Y hair is called "W&Y Hair New 142," which in itself is awesome. ("To hell with a name; let's just give it a number!") It's scripted so you can change the size, hair color and jewel type. I think it was 200L for a pack of four shades.

And I finally broke down and bought League's newish Taylor skin. I only tried two demos before I was sprinting back to get the fatpack. I like the sultry look of it, but I'll admit that if I look at it for too long, it looks a little too photorealistic to me. It clashes with my cartoon clothes. I'll save it for my "keepin' it real" days.


This Eshi outfit is called Blossoms Green and I believe it costs 500L. It comes with a hat and a cool painted skin that I'm not wearing in these pictures.

Oh hell, wait a minute . . .


There you go. Don't ever say that I don't love you.

AnyHOO, I love the way it screams, "BAD ASS!" (I guess I'm into 'inanimate screaming things' right now) yet it's an explosion of color. Almost like it's saying, "I will fill your world with a spectrum of lovely, but if you tick me off, I will whip you with my . . . um, cords hanging off my cuffs (?) and cram these cherry blossoms down your throat until you choke."

I'm sure that's exactly what Eshi had in mind when she designed it. I should start a series: "What the designer was thinking vs. Emerald's twisted interpretation."


(I love this doll box from LuNi Designs. I always use it when I want to convey confusion or defeat. Wow, what a peppy compliment that was, LuNi!)

As for "narcotic puppet," I feel like one these days. I'm finally kicking some sweet PR tail at my job. I finally put down a deposit on a cute two-story apartment downtown. I'm finally getting out in the world and interacting with people again. But I had to travel down a winding medicated path to get here. I take pills in the morning to boost my dopamine and energy levels. I take pills in the afternoon to calm the hell down when I feel like I'm going to freak the hell out. When I have to be all vice-presidential, I take pills for presentation "stage fright." I take pills at night to fall asleep. My GOD, they control my EVERY MOVE!!!

When I look at the landscape of prescription bottles by my bed, I feel sort of sad and pathetic.

Plus, I'm always worrying about a post-apocalyptic ZOMBIE WAR!

If the world goes to hell, it's actually going to be the prescription wind-up dolls who go down first. Pharmacies will be looted. We'll run out of meds and either die from hideous withdrawal or get chomped by a zombie while we're having a cold-turkey-induced seizure. It'll be survival of the fittest . . . and we definitely won't be the fittest. We'll be curled up and trembling and begging for pills. We'll be END-OF-THE-WORLD HOOKER JUNKIES!

. . . . . . . sorry. Sometimes my imagination gets a little carried away.

So anyway, I'm working with my doctor to wean myself off some of this stuff. Now that I've reached a functioning place, I'd like to take the cognitive route to healing the next time everything fades to black. If it doesn't work, I guess I'll jump on the narcotic highway again.

The whole point of all that blabber is that I can't really write anymore. The part of my brain that used to be witty and creative is completely numb, along with the part that used to be sad and wigged-out. And I dress my AV in brilliant colors because I can't really see them in RL anymore. Everything is a pleasant, non-threatening shade of beige.

Is sacrificing your core personality for drug-induced peace of mind worth it? Right now I'm thinking no. I want my voice back.

And as long as we're on this really upbeat note . . .


How fun was it to log in last week on my birthday to discover that my landlady had decked out my house in birthday fabulosity? (Really fun!)

Thank you, Ali! (And thank you for the awesome blog post.)

See — no matter what's pulling my strings, I'm grateful for the friends who stick around for the puppet show.

Laugh Out Loud and Ugh: /me hands you a Kleenex so you can wipe that cheesy sap off your monitor.

Eshi Otawara's Black Liquid

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

Emerald Wynn still can't teleport

Honest to God, I feel like holding a funeral for my avatar at this point.

It would have to be IN MY HOUSE though, since I still can't teleport anywhere. I managed to get home. I can't get out now. Whatever.

I wonder if my 92K inventory has finally gotten so heavy that my AV can't move. I finally got the thing down to a guilt-free 78K, but I'm not joking when I say that it only took about two months to accumulate almost 20,000 new things in my inventory. Second Life hoarder. Second Life pack rat. Second Life shame.

I realize another viewer would probably fix my teleport problem. I'm just too damn lazy. Plus, I don't wanna go back to a retro viewer, and I'm ironically the only one I know who is steadfast in my resistance to the Emerald viewer.

Unlike many people, I actually like V2. I think the tattoo layer is the coolest thing since sliced bread. I love the fact that I can layer an eyeshadow I like over a nude skin that I like and THUS further customize my avatar.

Thus further. And steadfast.

I really should have named this post, "EVERYTHING IS FREAKIN' BROKEN" because my iGoogle page freezes and crashes my computer whenever I land on it, and Photobucket is down for maintenance right now.

Here are some things you can do when you can't teleport:

1. Change your clothes.
2. Change your face.
3. Change your shape.
4. Change your house.
5. Sit on your dinosaur and actually talk to people for a change instead of being a SLoner.
6. Log off and make it to work on time.

Speaking of, I have to go.

I'll come back when I have pictures and something to say. :-\

Monday, May 17, 2010

Midnight in the garden of just plain evil


I don't know where to start this post -- with this hair or my current hellish situation.

I guess we'll go with hell.

Two days ago I ventured over to Bug Tussle presented by LVS & Co. and Sher's Garden. It's a cluster of cute shops in a cute garden. They're currently celebrating the grand opening with a ladybug hunt -- today's the last day, RUN! — full of cute-sounding prizes of home and garden decor.

I say "cute-sounding" because I haven't yet examined the prizes: Two days ago I ventured over to Bug Tussle . . . and I've been TRAPPED THERE ever since.

I can't TP out. Forget teleporting; I can't even GET out. I can't even change my preferences to log in at home instead of "last location" and relog. Believe me, every day I try a few times. I'm STUCK THERE, possibly forever.

You're right, Thomas Wolfe -- you can't go home again!

Irritating. Irritating. Oh. So. Irritating.

As for this hair:


(Skin: Wichita in Violet, Pale.Casual from SINdecade. Those "stand back and watch me NEVER MOD tiny little prims AGAIN!" eyelashes are actually a TATTOO LAYER ["Everyday Eyelash Face Tattoo for 2.0"] from Stellar. I love you, Lexi Morgan!)

Last month I devoted several days to the Crazy Arse Hair Hunt and BY GOD, I'm gonna wear some of it now. I'm sick and tired of hunt prizes rotting away in my inventory, unloved and neglected.

This hair is called Seiren by BC322 Skull & Bones.

Fashion tip: If you plan on wearing hair with BIG HONKIN' WINGS coming out of it, you should probably dress appropriately. I suggest a monotone look, but with a dash of superhero. For instance, I like the barely-there top from the Bella Disastre outfit at League. It's so bad-ass, there's no room for it to be crude, in my humble opinion. Yeah, there's some nippage poking out from under one of the straps but whatever. Nipple pride is a good thing.

You know, along those lines: During the past couple of days, I've read some eye-opening blog posts about transgenders in Second Life. I appreciate the people who are brave enough to share the often painful and frustrated perspectives of being a man trapped in a woman's body, or a woman trapped in a man's body.

But no one ever talks about the dark, unfulfilled emptiness of being a big-breasted woman trapped in the body of a flat-chested chick.

That would be me.

So thank you, Second Life, for allowing me to unleash my inner boobs.

And that reminds me: Over the weekend I got really ticked off at a guy and — in the heat of an angry moment — reached in my bra, yanked out one of those huge "fooled ya!" silicone cutlets (hell yeah, I have a pair for every day of the week) and threw it at him.

I mean, we are talking harkening back to my softball days, winding up and just letting that thing fly. (What can I say? I really needed to throw something and it was the only thing within arm's reach.)

It pegged him smack-dab in the middle of his forehead and made this really satisfying thwacking sound. It probably was one of the most awesome moments ever in the history of push-up bras and fake boobs. I just wish someone would have captured it for YouTube.

Stay away from me when I'm PMSing. Naomi Campbell throws cellphones. I throw expensive illusions of cleavage. And my aim is still EXCELLENT!

My God, where was I going with this post? :(

Oh yeah — um, so if you really want to be a smart ass, pardon the pun, pair your winged hair with these classic Wild Angel Leather Pants, also from League:


It just dawned on me that my waist is freakishly small. Oops. In my defense, I think I had to shrink it down that size to fit into a sculpted skirt.

That tattoo on my neck? Believe it or not, I got that during my first week as a little noob, in one of those obnoxious "HUNDREDS OF FREE FULL-PERM TATTOOS BUSINESS IN A BOX(es)!" It actually survived all my inventory purges over the past two years.

It says, "Second Life is Currently Being A Little Bitch" in Japanese.

Bug Tussle presented by LVS & Co. and Sher's Garden
BC322 Skull & Bones

Sunday, May 9, 2010

"Mother, make it STOP!"


OK, so I sort of never wanna hear the words "The Deck" again. Thank you.


In the blitz of this weekend's blog chatter about The Deck's two-day free-for-all, I haven't yet seen anyone talk about these rockin' Alice Comfort Capris, one of two styles in the gift from TuttiFrutti at The Deck (this weekend only). So there they are.

And if you're like me and you prefer to throw on a plain T-shirt with your hyperactive pants, terri.tees has a fat pack of plain shirts for 125L. It's now in my "Fashion Essentials" inventory folder.

Anyway, if you're trying to scoop up all the free anniversary celebration gifts at The Deck (THANK YOU, Designers!), be sure to don your full suit of armor because it's a MOSH PIT over there! Woooooo! The sim has been full all weekend, so you'll have to fight your way in.

You can do it! I believe in you!

And actually, skip the suit of armor. The ARC police are out in full force, and they'll bitch-slap the hell out of you if your number's in the red. I would really like it if a Linden *cough* would confirm or dispel the possible urban legend that a high ARC causes lag. I lean toward the "no it doesn't" camp.

Regardless, I'm not in the mood for stressing people out on Mother's Day (Happy Mother's Day, mothers!), so I went over there bald and . . . whoops, legless! Love that new alpha layer! I'm thinking about covering my whole body with it and running around as just a floating head. With a 'sexy walk,' though.

Um, so it took me about 50 tries to get in that sim. (Yep, I have no life.) I wanted the gorgeous and generous Lelutka gift. But you know what? We're ALL gonna be wearing that gown now, so it sort of kills the buzz a little. We'll be an army of SL Fashion Clones, parading our snatch-and-scavenge skills around for the whole grid to see.


I snapped this pic because it's a shot of me fantasizing about how sick and awesome it would be if I whipped out my 7Seas pro fishing pole and just started fishing there today. See -- I'm laughing out loud right now.

If you've heard the clamor that's been going on ALL WEEKEND in the Tuli group (she's got a free limited edition skin there, this weekend only), you understand. People wailing that the sim is full. The usual "I'm entitled to everything" folks bitching that some stores don't have gifts. Snotty girls gloating and laughing at the people who can't TP in. People who are just flat-out dense and make me feel bad for laughing at them.

Not to mention some awesome CATFIGHTS!

People are sort of touchy about that sim today, to say the least.

(Dear Tuli Group moderator, please don't ever disable group chat. Your group is a constant source of entertainment. And just to say it again: "group.")

Gah, I have a lot more I want to say but I guess I'll save it for another post. Two things though:


Um . . .


There I was, minding my own business, checking out those Alice capris, when suddenly my head started spinning around and ended up facing backwards. You know me, I totally thought about leaving it like that all day. But it was just too damn disturbing.

(Hence this post title quote from "The Exorcist," but I recommend the version in the song "Tubular Bells" by Book of Love. Play it while you drive to work. Like I do.)

Eventually I figured out that "Stop animating my avatar" will exorcise your SL demons.

Last but not least, my . . . holy cow 49 (!!) regular readers *tears up for a minute, seriously* (thank you) . . . know that I dig the blog Moonletters (although I'll always think of it as SLFix).

So I've gotta give props to Shauna Skye for today's post, "Why Most SL Fashion Blogs Suck." I don't necessarily agree with all of it -- some of my favorite fashion blogs are in the blog roll here, and I'm probably forgetting a few -- but she makes some valid points. Mainly I just want to salute her BALLS! (Yeah, I said it. I hate that word. It'll be the one and only time you see it here. Especially with the verb "salute.")

If I wrote a post like that, I'm pretty sure the haters would descend all over my ass. So, um, good luck with that, Shauna! *runs like hell*

I like her suggestion to put the SLURLS at the end. I'm doing that from now on.

Visit Inworld:

The Deck (use your ninja skills and Jedi powers to get there)

(Wow, I was in a really parenthetic mood today. Sorry.)

Monday, May 3, 2010

Designers who can take a punch (I left my heart in Wichita)


Try not to look at that jaggedy hairline.

Shoot, now that I've pointed it out, you're looking at it, huh?

You can get that Lila hair at 3636, and if you're not lazy like I am, you can actually mod it to make it photo-worthy.

Whatever. Check out the skin instead. It's from SINdecade's new Wichita skin line, and my mouth literally dropped open when I tried on these skins.

LITERALLY, I tell you!

In my very humble opinion, this line is creator Trin Trevellion's most beautiful work to date. Or at least it looks totally awesome on me, me, me, it's all about ME, and in the grand scheme of things, that's all that matters. (kidding)

Before I get into the skins, I'll be upfront about two things: I didn't buy these skins -- they were given to me for review consideration, and Trin is one of those friendly designers who happens to be on my friends list. HOWEVER, after I tried the review skins, I ran to spend lindens on more. And as for Trin, she actually first introduced herself to me after I laughed at some of her skins in a blog post two years ago (yes, I was lame and that was awkward) -- so she knows I don't pull any punches.

We'll get to that story later. First, let me show you some skin.


Retro in Pale.Candy, push-up version of course!

Love love love the body shading and the BOOBS! GLORIOUS BOOBS!


This is the back view and the only time I'm flashing my crack on this blog. I really love the butt.

It makes me want to go out and buy some of those my-crack-is-not-whack jeans that are all the rage right now.

(OK, not really.)

Here are just a few looks from each tone (Snow, Pale and Tan). I remain a huge fan of the way Trin plays with color in her skins, but I have to say that the casual versions in this line are some of my favorite fresh-faced looks out there.


Bite in Pale.9PM. I'm in love with myself in this skin. I can't stop looking at my face. Cant. Stop. Looking. At. My. Face!

(Necklace: From the Arizona set by GaNKed; Hair: Joanna in Chestnut by Truth; Beauty mark on cheek: from the tattoo-layer makeup collection for V2 viewers at MiaMai.)


Natural in Snow.Casual. (I LOVE THIS ONE!!!)


Rosebay in Snow.Candy. (I should've chosen different eyes for this one. Sorry.)


Smokey in Snow.Casual


Cherry-N8 in Pale.9PM


Natural in Snow.Freckles, non-push-up version. (AWWWW! SO CUTE!)


Violet in Tan.Casual. (This makeup is so pretty, I bought this version in my preferred shade, Pale.Casual)


Natural in Tan.Freckles. (It makes me want to run off to the beach.)


Spring in Tan.Freckles. (I want to go demo this one in Pale.Freckles.)



Ink in Tan.9PM. As much as I love the striking eye/nude lip look, this is the only one I'm not really feeling, only because I wish the top lip were a little more defined. I also need to tweak the shape of my mouth a little. The shading is gorgeous though.

Every skin comes with regular and push-up versions, a plethora of eyes, an optimized shape, tintable eyebrows, a set of Dessous Sexy Dragon lingerie in Noir, and (for V2 users) tattoo layer sets of hairlines, cleavage and hair-down-there styles. Also included are underwear layers of cleavage and hair down there.

One skin is 800L, a row of four skins is 2200L and the fatpack is 3800L. (Get the fatpack!)

On a related note, I named this post "Designers who can take a punch" because I'm a little astounded ("astounded"!) by the fallout that sometimes occurs if a blogger criticizes a creator's work. And if "punch" seems like a strong word, I used it because judging by some reactions you'd think fists were actually flying.

Not cool! In contrast, take for example one of my favorite recreational RL blogs, Tom and Lorenzo: Fabulous & Opinionated. They criticize designers' creations all the time, and occasionally they get catttt-tayyyy! (On the flip side, if they see something fabulous from that same designer, they squeal like excited little kids on Christmas.) Yet despite any negative opinions they express, they don't get BANNED from stores or dogpiled by a mob squad. People may disagree with them, even passionately, but at the end of the day, they're still valued by their audience as entertaining bloggers and, better yet, human beings with opinions.

I climbed on that soapbox for a minute because when I was a new SL blogger, I attempted to write a post about skins. I showed a bunch of them. One of them was one of SINdecade's (now-old-school) Harajuku Paint Box skins:


HA HA! Alien shape.

In that post, I made an attempt at a witty remark about this skin. It wasn't exactly mean, but it also wasn't that flattering. I think I said that these skins made me look mad as hell, like I was looking for a paintball war. (Back then, I didn't know that you could demo skins before you bought them. Poor, poor little noob!!)

Later, I got an IM from Trin (which in itself shocked the hell out of me) saying something like (paraphrasing here), "Hey, thanks for mentioning my skins in your blog. I see now that they can look a little angry. I appreciate the feedback."

She didn't call me names. She didn't ban me from her store. She didn't accuse me of being an amateur who had no idea what I was talking about. She didn't get her friends to slam my blog with nasty comments. She didn't go all hogwild on Plurk. She was extremely cool about it. She simply treated me like what I was: a customer with an opinion about her work.

And even though my noobish blog ROYALLY SUCKED (worse than now) back then -- OMG, I didn't even own an AO, so all my pictures were in that dorky "where the hell am I?" stand -- she sent me updates on her new releases after that, like I mattered.

That's called CLASSY, folks!

I really don't know Trin very well, but when I saw these skins I got kind of teary. They are absolutely gorgeous, and watching her evolution as a creator over the years has been awesome.

And now I'm stuck on that really obscure Shawn Colvin song: "Wichita Skyline." Nice.