My life in bad pictures

I read my friend Meara's blog post about the challenge to blog every day during National Blog Posting Month (otherwise known as NaBloPoMo - what the HELL, why do we need another weird acronym in our lives -- have we really gotten THAT LAZY?).

I said I would do it.

But I can't.

OMG, I would lose every reader if I subjected people to this kind of long-ass rambling blog post every day. Especially today, when I'm just throwing out stuff that hasn't fit in other posts.

Like this random bloggage:

-- Lately I've been spending a lot of (RL) time on Facebook. All of my (now happily married, emotionally stable, gainfully employed) college and high school friends are there, as well as some SL friends who have transitioned into RL friends. Facebook has an SL app in beta called SecondLink for SL residents. I don't understand it. If my AV links to you in SecondLink on Facebook, are we also linked in real life on Facebook? In any case, I don't think the app is going over very well. I can't find anyone to try it with me.

HEY I'm talking to you, Su Lin!

(kidding)

Once upon a time, Su Lin and I vowed to get our real lives back. She succeeded. I failed miserably. **sniffs and waves from the other side of the border**

-- I wandered over to OpenLife to give it a shot and enjoy the fresh feeling of being a noob with bad hair in a foreign land again. But apparently OpenLife doesn't have a viewer for Mac yet. Or if they do, I can't find it. Damn.

-- Speaking of noobs, yeah I did the D-Hunt at Blockheadsville. Cool build, fun hunt, great prizes. 

And hey, even if they don't have prizes in them, you can still copy those noobs. 

And take them home. 

And put them in your yard:



HEY SEHRA, LOOKIT MY THANKSGIVING DINNER!

(EWWWW! That "Roadkill Noob" is really graphic if you zoom in. Yes I did! And how did this blog get so pointless?)

During that hunt, I glanced at this Wanted poster outside of a saloon there and realized that chick looked vaguely familiar:



I'm "Wanted"! But only worth $500 bucks?????

Wow, I need to update my profile pic. I haven't looked like that in a long time. 

I miss that face though. Ever since I accidently distorted my face to weird Jay Leno-ish proportions during a bad Ambien trip one night, I haven't been able to get my shape back to my much-adored (by me) original mod. It's always close but no cigar. I even bought the base shape from Laqroki ALL OVER AGAIN and tried to start from scratch.

Now I write my body dimensions down. If I ever get in a fatal car accident, my parents are going to wonder why there's a notebook by my bed with things like "Head Stretch - 76," "Love Handles = 27" and "Egg - 65" written in it. Or how about "Buoyancy - 23" and "Cleavage - 46"? (My mother will be so disappointed.) My cryptic Zyngo statistics are in there too. I'm working on a mathematical formula for Zyngo success at my favorite Zyngo hangout, Gamma Games! I'm gonna clean you and your Zyngo empire out one day, Ethen Rieko!

And now for a part of my blog that I like to call, "Cool AV, Man!"

"COOL AV, MAN!"

At the D-Hunt, I also ran into my friend Merrick, who is not usually the Banana Dance personified but happened to be running around like this:



Sorry your mouth never rezzed, Merrick, but cool AV, man!

I finally tried to TP out of that hunt and encountered one of those horrific TP borks where you can't reach your final destination and get dumped with an apologetic error message in a weird bizarro place:



MOTIONLESS WILD HORSES! WTF???? That is FRIGGIN' SKEERY!

Thank God it was daytime.

I maybe would rather be plunked down in the usual TP-error dumping ground, that Orientation Welcome Center (or whatever it's called), which can be just as scary.

AND FINALLY, I'd like to thank those of you who read my previous blog post and said, "Hey, if you think those boobs look big, check out the Hal*Hina skin boobs!"

So I did:



Hubba hubba, but hell no.

I look way too nice and happy. One friend said I'd look great as a Sailor Moon character in this skin. She also said, "You look so happy and cute -- I want to hug you!"

NOOOO! I don't hug! 

Well, sometimes I hug my friend Bon, but only when I have my Random Calliope Amandote! hugger on (it gives a gift of jewelry to whomever you hug) . . . and then I force him at gunpoint to give me back the jewelry. What? He's not gonna wear it! (See necklace in the Wanted poster above.)

Get your own free Amandote! Hugger HERE. Just in time for the holidays!

Anyway, if you like the boobalicious anime look, that Hal*Hina skin is called No. 5 in Cherry. Wait, that's not Cherry. . . . Maybe it's "Beige." Or "Natural." Bad blogger, bad!

Meanwhile, I'll go back to being an icy bad-ass bitch in Calypso in Diamond by oBscene (Halloween gift):



Love the beauty mark!

The End.

Thank you for the oBscene cleavage!

So, it's the day after the U.S. elections (in case you're living in a cave), and as a Republican, I am aching with the aftermath of Election Night alcohol and having to deal with some harsh realities. . . .

. . . mainly the fact that I will never be gangsta enough to wear this outfit I saw at Inimitably Designs:



But neither will you, Obama!

I kid. I love my country. Democracy is what makes our nation great. I didn't vote for Obama, but the people have spoken and he's our next President, so he's got my respect and my support. Seriously. It's invigorating to see our country so hopeful and excited. A little optimism goes a long way. So hail to the Chief!

Politics (and the relief that the election is over) aside, this blog post is really all about my current fascination with my SL BOOBS.

The fact that I am about to share provocative (ha ha) photos of my boobs in all their awesomeness -- or that I even care about their appearance, for that matter -- is a bit ironic, considering that I just popped over to Ali Chenaux's thought-provoking blog post "Class vs Trash" and confessed in a comment that I do not understand romantic SL relationships or the desire to be in one.

Shoot, maybe I'm an emotionally devoid sociopath.

Or maybe someone will come along someday and change my mind.

Anyway.

Once upon a time when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and broke my nose. I don't know why we didn't get it set properly. Now I'm in my 30s and my crooked nose bugs me. Earlier this year I talked to a few cosmetic surgeons about fixing it.

When I told my mother about my plastic surgery consultations, she said, "Honey, why don't you just get your boobs done instead? It's cheaper and then no one will look at your nose."

Ha ha ha, Mom. Funny.

I didn't fully understand her comment until I tried on some skins from [the oBscene].

[the oBscene] is one of the most generous skin designers I've yet to meet in SL. They give beautiful, frequent gifts to their group members as well as at their store openings.

Lately I've been running around in Ganesha in Diamond, a gift from their newest store opening on the Dolphins Archipel sim. (I just found out that gift was removed on Monday. Shoot -- sorry.)

To be honest, I prefer a softer face. The oBscene faces are a little tough for me. But my GOD, who cares about the face when the body shading is so damn gorgeous??:



(Hey, check out my aquarium and that glam girl pose stand from Aisuru Rieko!)

OK, maybe that wasn't showing enough skin, but I really like that Audrey Red corset lingerie from ALB Dream Fashion. Also, the Virgin Mary looking down over my bed might kill the mood a little, not to mention my frequent and bizarre urge to pose near my $24L yard sale aquarium.



It just occurred to me that the chaotic setting of my Mudshake couch probably is not the best backdrop to showcase that really pretty Sarasota lingerie from the Malice line at Beauty Avatar. Oops. I really need to sort my inventory, particularly my "Poses" folder.

Hey, I never promised you a Victoria's Secret catalog.

For the record, I didn't touch my modestly-sized boob slider for these photos -- yet they look SO DAMN LOVELY AND ROUND!

(Laugh -- can you tell I'm a wispy stick figure in real life?)



"The bunny and I are lonely."

(The set is called Venise Guepiere by Carnal. And wow, I have a lot of lingerie that's pretty much going to waste.)

So, speaking of body highlighting, sometimes when I'm bored, I like to wander around obscure shopping centers and find obscure stores.

For all you body oil enthusiasts, you might be excited to learn about Nyoko's Wears BodyOils and Tanlines.



WOW!

Please note, gentlemen, that there are also products just for you.

And holy moley, Body Oil 2 Super even provides "coverage to your fingertips and toes"!

Look, I'm not completely mocking here. I realize there's a market for this stuff. Nyoko is fulfilling a need here. Smart business.

However, Nyoko must have had some bad experiences with customers, because when you make a purchase at her (his?) kiosk, you get a notecard that says,

-------------------

"READ THIS NOTECARD FOR COMPLETE INFO! I am very sorry, BUT...
If you call asking a question already answered in this notecard, I will not reply!!

I WILL MUTE AND BAN ANYONE WHO:
- tries to 'friend' me unbidden!
- tries to teleport me unbidden!
- is causing a nuisance in my homes and shops!
- demands return or exchange service for copiable/no-transfer items!
- IMs and 'fishes' for conversation; get straight to the point if you have a problem or request!
- is begging, conning, abusive, or just plain insensibly angry!"
--------------------

For GOD'S SAKE, do not try to friend or teleport Nyoko unbidden! And take your insensible anger somewhere else! Plus, causing a nuisance in Nyoko's stores is bad enough -- do not cause a nuisance in Nyoko's homes!

(Nyoko gets my award for "Excellent Use of Exclamation Points in Customer Communication.")

And hell yes, I made a purchase. I was delighted to see something I had never seen before: BODY GLITTER!

Woop woop!!!

**Runs over to the What the Fug? blog in nothing but body glitter and a pair of giant orange boots and rolls around all over the page**

It looks like winter's first snowfall on a REALLY BEAUTIFUL HILLY LANDSCAPE:



Just in time for the holidays!

(Hey Sehra, forget about real Christmas decorations. I'm just gonna put a GIANT PHOTO of my SPARKLY, SNOW-DUSTED BOOBS on top of my house!)

And I swear my boob slider is only at 56 -- that is such an optical illusion! Thank you, [oBscene]! 

I'm gonna get out my RL bronzer and highlighter and mess around with my real ones later.

Gotta go -- ANTM is on!

Ta ta! (pardon the pun)

Random Bloggage

Hey, I'm working on a blog post that's much better than this one.

My apologies for my previous emotional blog post -- the one I deleted but apparently is still on Google readers. (Great.) Yeah, I was hungry when I wrote it, but no, obviously I'm not starving to death. (That's what credit cards are for!) We can all stop making food jokes now. I realize it was over the top. 

Hormones + anxiety + keyboard = disaster.

But NO, I won't be attending this week's food-themed Hump Day Party, BTW. I'm embarrassed enough as it is. :-\

And if you have no idea what I'm talking about right now, good.

Anyhoo.

I don't have a lot going on in my Second Life right now. Ever since I upgraded my Mac OS to whatever the hell "big cat" we're on now (Panther, Jaguar, Snow Leopard?), I've been crashing in SL every five minutes.

When I'm not crashing, I'm still "nesting" -- unfortunately just with myself, not another person. I got my big empty house decorated and then realized it didn't look like me at all. It looked like I cracked the whole thing out of a box, which I basically did.

So I'm still screwing around with my home decor.

Fortunately I read this blog post over on Shopping Cart Disco and moseyed over to Mudshake to check the place out for myself.

(What is it with home furnishing stores with names that start with "mud"?)

I fell in love with Mudshake. Now see, THAT place is me. Funky (in a good way), slightly bipolar, eclectic, goofy and a little bit strange (in a good way?).

So now my living room looks like this:



Hell yeah. Much better. If you feel so inclined, scrolllllll down to the post below this one to see what it looked like before. (yawn.)

God help me when my landlady checks my prim counts though. :(

After I gave my living room a shot of Vitamin B, courtesy of Mudshake, I got a hankering to get my hands on some WILD and CRAZAY hair. So I went to Sinsation, which is one of the first places I go when I want to evoke a "What the *bleep* is up with that hair?" reaction.

Now it's time for a part of my blog that I like to call, "Bitch, put a shirt on!"

"BITCH, PUT A SHIRT ON!"



Yep, I saw this honey there and NO, those are not real pasties. Those nipple-blockers are courtesy of my amazing Photoshop skills, partly because this is a family blog, but also because I know Photobucket all too well. They deleted my previous photo of a cartoon elephant jock strap from Wally's Wackies. They will totally delete nipple shots.

I couldn't believe this chick was wandering around with everything hanging out like that, but I must say I was impressed by the way her outfit perfectly matched the store.

The sign behind her says, "No Transfer. No Refunds. No Exchanges. No Exceptions." Unfortunately it does not say, "No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service."

Once I got over the nipple shock, I bought this new release called Koi:



(Hey, check out my fish tank!)

You can change the color of that hair yarn, BTW.

When my friend Sai saw it, she said, "What the *bleep* is up with that hair?"

Victory!

Hey, that shirt is also from Mudshake. Yes! -- They have some groovy little outfits there too. I'll admit that when I bought this shirt, I didn't realize it was so short. Then I put it on, sighed and said "what the hell."

At least it covers my nips.

I didn't buy this shirt for the front. I bought it for the back:



Yes, I am available for modeling.

I got home to discover that once again my next-door neighbor Sehra is outshining me (*cough*) in the holiday decoration department.



BLINDED . . . BY . . . YOUR . . . DRUMSTICKS!

(I think those giant carrots are a really nice touch.)

I can't top that, pardon the pun. I'm not even gonna try. Maybe next month it'll be ON though, Sehra! My army of snowmen will beat any big-ass blingy thing you can stick on your roof, including the Jolly Old Elf himself, not to mention all his damn reindeer!

So BRING IT, SEHRA! BRING IT!

Laugh.

(Sehra knows I love her.)

Until then, I'll just chill in my Pez-colored crib.



(Hey, check out my porch swing!)