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Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Thank you for the oBscene cleavage!

So, it's the day after the U.S. elections (in case you're living in a cave), and as a Republican, I am aching with the aftermath of Election Night alcohol and having to deal with some harsh realities. . . .

. . . mainly the fact that I will never be gangsta enough to wear this outfit I saw at Inimitably Designs:

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But neither will you, Obama!

I kid. I love my country. Democracy is what makes our nation great. I didn't vote for Obama, but the people have spoken and he's our next President, so he's got my respect and my support. Seriously. It's invigorating to see our country so hopeful and excited. A little optimism goes a long way. So hail to the Chief!

Politics (and the relief that the election is over) aside, this blog post is really all about my current fascination with my SL BOOBS.

The fact that I am about to share provocative (ha ha) photos of my boobs in all their awesomeness -- or that I even care about their appearance, for that matter -- is a bit ironic, considering that I just popped over to Ali Chenaux's thought-provoking blog post "Class vs Trash" and confessed in a comment that I do not understand romantic SL relationships or the desire to be in one.

Shoot, maybe I'm an emotionally devoid sociopath.

Or maybe someone will come along someday and change my mind.

Anyway.

Once upon a time when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and broke my nose. I don't know why we didn't get it set properly. Now I'm in my 30s and my crooked nose bugs me. Earlier this year I talked to a few cosmetic surgeons about fixing it.

When I told my mother about my plastic surgery consultations, she said, "Honey, why don't you just get your boobs done instead? It's cheaper and then no one will look at your nose."

Ha ha ha, Mom. Funny.

I didn't fully understand her comment until I tried on some skins from [the oBscene].

[the oBscene] is one of the most generous skin designers I've yet to meet in SL. They give beautiful, frequent gifts to their group members as well as at their store openings.

Lately I've been running around in Ganesha in Diamond, a gift from their newest store opening on the Dolphins Archipel sim. (I just found out that gift was removed on Monday. Shoot -- sorry.)

To be honest, I prefer a softer face. The oBscene faces are a little tough for me. But my GOD, who cares about the face when the body shading is so damn gorgeous??:

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(Hey, check out my aquarium and that glam girl pose stand from Aisuru Rieko!)

OK, maybe that wasn't showing enough skin, but I really like that Audrey Red corset lingerie from ALB Dream Fashion. Also, the Virgin Mary looking down over my bed might kill the mood a little, not to mention my frequent and bizarre urge to pose near my $24L yard sale aquarium.

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It just occurred to me that the chaotic setting of my Mudshake couch probably is not the best backdrop to showcase that really pretty Sarasota lingerie from the Malice line at Beauty Avatar. Oops. I really need to sort my inventory, particularly my "Poses" folder.

Hey, I never promised you a Victoria's Secret catalog.

For the record, I didn't touch my modestly-sized boob slider for these photos -- yet they look SO DAMN LOVELY AND ROUND!

(Laugh -- can you tell I'm a wispy stick figure in real life?)

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"The bunny and I are lonely."

(The set is called Venise Guepiere by Carnal. And wow, I have a lot of lingerie that's pretty much going to waste.)

So, speaking of body highlighting, sometimes when I'm bored, I like to wander around obscure shopping centers and find obscure stores.

For all you body oil enthusiasts, you might be excited to learn about Nyoko's Wears BodyOils and Tanlines.

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WOW!

Please note, gentlemen, that there are also products just for you.

And holy moley, Body Oil 2 Super even provides "coverage to your fingertips and toes"!

Look, I'm not completely mocking here. I realize there's a market for this stuff. Nyoko is fulfilling a need here. Smart business.

However, Nyoko must have had some bad experiences with customers, because when you make a purchase at her (his?) kiosk, you get a notecard that says,

-------------------
"READ THIS NOTECARD FOR COMPLETE INFO! I am very sorry, BUT...
If you call asking a question already answered in this notecard, I will not reply!!

I WILL MUTE AND BAN ANYONE WHO:
- tries to 'friend' me unbidden!
- tries to teleport me unbidden!
- is causing a nuisance in my homes and shops!
- demands return or exchange service for copiable/no-transfer items!
- IMs and 'fishes' for conversation; get straight to the point if you have a problem or request!
- is begging, conning, abusive, or just plain insensibly angry!"
--------------------

For GOD'S SAKE, do not try to friend or teleport Nyoko unbidden! And take your insensible anger somewhere else! Plus, causing a nuisance in Nyoko's stores is bad enough -- do not cause a nuisance in Nyoko's homes!

(Nyoko gets my award for "Excellent Use of Exclamation Points in Customer Communication.")

And hell yes, I made a purchase. I was delighted to see something I had never seen before: BODY GLITTER!

Woop woop!!!

**Runs over to the What the Fug? blog in nothing but body glitter and a pair of giant orange boots and rolls around all over the page**

It looks like winter's first snowfall on a REALLY BEAUTIFUL HILLY LANDSCAPE:

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Just in time for the holidays!

(Hey Sehra, forget about real Christmas decorations. I'm just gonna put a GIANT PHOTO of my SPARKLY, SNOW-DUSTED BOOBS on top of my house!)

And I swear my boob slider is only at 56 -- that is such an optical illusion! Thank you, [oBscene]! 

I'm gonna get out my RL bronzer and highlighter and mess around with my real ones later.

Gotta go -- ANTM is on!

Ta ta! (pardon the pun)

6 comments:

Alicia Chenaux said...

Sweet Mother of Cleavage! I know you had shown me your skin but whoa baby!

*thinks tomorrow she will be heading in to check out that store*

Sehra Kauffman said...

OMFG, this post made me laugh SO HARD!!!!!

Laleeta Xue said...

He he I love you in that skin :D

Nuuna Nitely said...

Lol Oh I love your posts.:D So body glitter is a new thing. I think we'll start to see a lot of that around the grid. Oh no!:D

Aisuru Rieko said...

lmao. funniest post I've seen in a long time. <3

Sehra Kauffman said...

I MISSSSSSSSS YOU!