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Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Must love zombies

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I've got a lot going on right now.

I signed a contract to write five stories a week for my city's newspaper, which is killing me. I've also got a BIG DAMN JOB INTERVIEW coming up in Washington, D.C., and just the fact that I got called for it means HELL YES, I've still got game and I'm about to BRING IT, so everybody step the hell back.

Um, anyway.

All this stress means I really, really, really need to blow off some steam right now, and I'll be totally honest with you: "blowing off steam" is a euphemism for S-E-X.

The British guy I'm sort of seeing-slash-falling asleep on just isn't cutting it for me, so I did the unthinkable today and posted a Match.com profile.

I don't want anything heavy right now. Call me a tramp, but I just want a robust, semi-attractive man to romp around with on a regular basis. Also, if he's gonna see me naked, he's gonna HAVE to have a great sense of humor. I mean a GREAT sense of humor. Like, the GREATEST sense of humor. Ever.

Right now you're probably flinching, covering your eyes and asking, "What the bloody hell does this have to do with Second Life, Emerald???" Well, I'm GONNA TELL YOU, if you just chill for a second.

*hugs!*

This will shock you but as I filled out my Match.com profile, I could not help but joke around . . . so I put "MUST LOVE ZOMBIES" in the "what I'm looking for" section.

And I have to admit, I'm somewhat disturbed at the number of foaming-at-the-mouth men who emailed me today to tell me JUST HOW MUCH they love zombies. As in, passionately.

:\

OOPS.

(Everybody put a helmet on, because she's totally back in that BOLD ALL-CAPS phase again!)

OK, so here's your SL connection:

Because of the Match.com fiasco, I had zombies on the brain when I logged in world tonight. As such, I zoomed straight over to LuNi Designs because I knew my beloved Nimil Blackflag and her partner Lucas Gerard would not disappoint:

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That's Nimil's Dead Girl skin (500L) right there. And it rocks.

(Those eyes are the Garnet Eyes from Beloved Custom Designs, BTW, and they also rock. Everything my friend Aisuru touches is gold, as far as I'm concerned. I wish she would touch my checking account.)

I developed kind of an "I love this girl but oh my God, I am FREAKIN' SCARED OF HER!" crush on Nimil when this endearingly creepy little chick with a noose around her neck came up to me one day and said, "Hey, you're wearing my key!" and BY JOVE, I totally WAS wearing her key . . . and it was and still is the coolest doll key ever.

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(Yes, Random Calliope, basically I'm wearing your jewelry in every damn picture I have. Wow! I took that pic way back in February too!)

I think that key was LuNi Design's prize in the last Twisted Hunt. Or maybe it was Greatest Love. I don't remember.

And LMAO, when I was looking through my Photobucket albums for that picture, I found this one:

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Look Prad, you're in Japan!!

Poor Prad. He gets blog-stalked so much over here. I don't even remember what that picture was for, but damn, it's still funny. I am seriously laughing right now and I SWEAR it is not because I've been drinking red wine and watching several episodes of "The Golden Girls" in a row.

I think I did a really good job of drawing his hat. *keeps giggling like a crazy person*

Um, so anyway, back to Nimil.

If you're not doing the Fall Twisted Hunt this month, frankly I don't blame you. My will to finish it sort of cracked the other day when I heard someone proclaim, "YAY! I'm at No. 100 in The Twisted Hunt! Only 56 more stops to go!"

*Emerald falls over*

HOWEVER, I do recommend that you at least stop at a few places on that hunt, and LuNi Designs is one of them, because look at LuNi's OH-MY-GAWD-ARE-YOU-KIDDING-ME-WITH-THIS-AWESOMENESS? prize:

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(OK, that photo sucks. Sorry.)

It's called The Collector's Case and it has six poses in it. The hunt's twirly little purple box is totally easy to find in her store, too. And all I can really say about it is,

"NIMIL, YOU GUYS ROCK SO HARD I CAN BARELY STAND IT!"

Yes, the word "rock" is sort of being overused today. Let's blame The Beatles for the hell of it.

OK, I'll slow the spaz dance down. Sorry.

And now I have to go correspond with my zombie suitors. Tune in to my next post for some Twisted shoes that you must seek and acquire. And maybe I'll talk about the bloodbath that was my chicken massacre today.

Right now it's just too painful.

15 comments:

Quaintly Tuqiri said...

I laughed so hard at your Match.com suitors' preferences for zombies that my colleagues all think I've gone crazy. Not that this is news to them, really...

I almost wish you'd go out on dates with these men and report on the zombie conversation later :P

nimil said...

*blushes like mad* woman lol i am not the only person that runs that store XD poor lucas... *hides this from him* i will never hear the end of it if he sees this lololol but thank you for loving us so much, its really appreciated.

you are adorable emerald wynn... simply adorable. and the only person to blog our prize! which is nuts isn't it? the damn thing is fucking awesome. ok i'm biased.. but really...

i am not as scary as i look i promise :p oh yes and everyone stalks prad but prad stalks me XD

Mahala Roviana said...

OMG I love the Prad pic!!!

Whispers said...

I do believe we want updates on the Zombie men too please! lol

Terri Zhangsun said...

A job interview in Washington D.C...very cool! That sounds very exciting!

Random Calliope said...

mmm brains

Emerald Wynn said...

Everyone on that Web site is an ATROCIOUS DORK. Ugh. Even with the zombie thing deleted, I'm still only getting emails from guys with child-molester mustaches.

Maybe it's my sentence, "If you're looking for a huge rack, you're gonna have to look elsewhere" that's turning off the good ones.

Oh Nimil - OOPS! - I did forget about your business partner. LOL! Hi Lucas! :D

*gives everyone a hug and wanders off*

Amie Adamski said...

Good luck with the job interview-

I'm still laughing at the child-molester mustache line. So true.

You mean to tell me the guys are not like the hot ones they show on the commercials?

Good luck with everything :)

Prad Prathivi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Prad Prathivi said...

You mention you're doing a British guy, want one who has a good sense of humour in RL, and happen to mention me in the same post?

C'mon Em.. what's *really* on your mind, here?

=P

Aimee said...

I am one of those rabid zombie fans for real! I love all things zombie and am attempting to write a novel about zombies. I really like that dead girl zombie skin! Must go get one :)
Take care,
Aimee

Emerald Wynn said...

ROFL Prad -- AND he is originally from India with a sophisticated British accent so I think I really have subconsciously sought out the human version of your AV . . . um, except he's bald. Well, actually Prad, I don't know that much about your heritage or that of your AV's -- I just know that you are dark and swarthy with a sexy accent.

And hey Prad, I see you removed your original comment. That was the one where you were professing your undying love for me, huh? :D

Anyway, since British loser is not working out, I'm now gonna look for a seven-foot-tall strapping guy with a mohawk ponytail kind of thing to possibly fulfill my Random Calliope fantasies.

And then I'm done trying to manifest my SL crushes into human form.

Anarya Elderslie said...

Mmm, Zombies.

Marnix Malifozik said...

Chicken massacre, Emerald? Like...snap! ;)

The whole island will be chicken-less soon...

Aisuru Rieko said...

omg <3 you so much, hehe. Wishing you sooooo much luck on the DC interview and I'm so happy your career stuff is going good because I can't think of anyone who deserves it more.