Sunday, June 6, 2010

Haters gonna hate


I logged in to some hate mail this morning.

Usually I wouldn't lower myself to publicly address a nasty notecard. A blog post about it makes it that much more fun for the person who sent it.

But something about it struck me as pretty ironic, so let's dish about it.

That photo above, BTW, was originally intended to show some of the stuff at the Black and Blue Fair. And sadly, I thought the beginnings of that post were pretty funny. However, I'd rather talk about haters now, and plus everyone's blogging about the Black and Blue Fair, so let's just forget it. It's just that I don't really have any art for this post now, so you'll have to suffer through a couple of blue pictures.

Like this one:


(That hair turned out to be no mod, with no resize script, so don't blame me for the fit.)

This Silo skin by Dilly Dolls (800L for the fatpack) is one of my favorite Black and Blue fair purchases. I'm always surprised by how awesome Dilly Dolls' skins are. No offense to Dilly Dolls, but I mean, that store isn't exactly the first one that comes to mind when someone says, "skins."

OK, so back to the hate mail.

I got a notecard from a newly made alt that basically just ranted about how annoying my blog is. Frankly, I agree. It annoys the bejeezus out of me about 75 percent of the time. But that's not the point. Here are my thoughts, in a neatly organized list (but if you happen to be a designer, you should just skip the little tantrum that is Nos. 1-3 and read No. 4):

1. Seriously? If it annoys you, why don't you try a little dance move called Stay Away from My Blog.

It's a pretty simple thing to do, actually. For example, I used to read the iHeartSL fashion feed religiously. However, during the past few months I'll admit that there are about three or four bloggers who not only dominate it now, but also BUG THE SH*T out of me. Do I send them hate mail? Do I rant about their cheesy writing and blatant designer ass-kissing? No. I've just stopped reading that feed as much. And you do wanna be just like me, right? Yes, you secretly do.

2. If you're going to insult me or bash my writing, at least grow a pair and use your real (SL) name. Otherwise, you're just a childish, pathetic, cowardly bully hiding behind an alt. And you're not that bright either, because if you really wanted to hurt me, you'd use your real name.

For example, earlier this year I IMed Cajsa Lilliehook about something and she responded by basically calling me an immature jerk and chewing me out for something completely unrelated. It shocked the hell out of me and I still wholeheartedly disagree with her (except for the immature part), but at least she didn't use an ALT to speak her mind. To make matters worse, when I was a noob, I worshipped her, her blog, Gidge and that whole MDR clan. I didn't know how to dress way back then so I just bought everything they wrote about and blah, blah, blah -- so I seriously logged off and cried when that happened. CRIED, I tell you, which was stupid. So who knows, Mystery Writer. Maybe you could have made me cry too. That's what you were trying to do anyway, right?

(And see, even though I just ran the risk of PISSING CAJSA OFF all over again, I still put my real name behind it. So maybe you need an "Emerald Wynn is my FREAKIN' ROLE MODEL" tattoo on your forehead. Backwards. So you can read it EVERY TIME you look in the mirror.)

3. Honestly, I hate to resort to childhood terms, but someone who takes the time to write a nasty letter to someone who isn't vicious (that would be me) and is pretty much just minding her own business most of the time (that would be me, too) is just . . . MEAN! 


Do you have any idea how STRESSED THE HELL OUT I am right now??? Stop BOTHERING ME about my stupid Second Life blog, I mean REALLY??? Does it hold that much significance for you, that you have to use precious minutes of your life to write a stupid notecard that has no point other than to insult? Honestly, that makes me feel pretty powerful. I CONTROL YOUR MIND!

My GOD, I'm still reeling from the fact that last week someone essentially BLEW UP my parcel and sent my house, my furniture, my Bunny, everything flying into outer space. I'm living in a MOTHER-EFFING TREEHOUSE right now:



According to the Black and Blue Fair (which serves to raise awareness of Mental Illness but FYI IS NOT a fundraiser, just to clear up any misunderstandings), I may be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Syndrome right now, so LEAVE ME ALONE!

(Wow, I feel so much better.)

4. As to your ironic content, the sentence that knocked me off my prim feet was this one:

"I am good friends with a well-known designer and she told me she cringes whenever she sees what your bad photography does to her designs."

If that's true, that's hilarious. Because here's the thing. What the well-known designer probably means is that she cringes when she sees what my bad photography DOES NOT do to her designs.

I don't have Photoshop. And if I did, honestly, I really wouldn't have the time or inclination to use it to screw around with my Second Life pictures, no offense to those who do. Instead I would use it on pictures of my real face and airbrush out my deep nostril grooves and make my nose look small and shapely and smooth out the worry lines on my forehead and plump up my lips a little and make my eyes a lighter shade of green and possibly give myself some elf ears for the hell of it since my ears are already huge and make my beauty mark a little darker unless that too is possibly cancerous in which case I guess I would smudge it out and . . . .

Sorry, I got carried away for a minute.

As for my "photography": If you call me anything, call me the Fashion Consumer Advocate Blogger because what you see on this blog is exactly what I see on my screen and, as such, pretty much what most readers will see on their screens. And I'm not even a Windlight wizard. I use Caliah Lyon's Optimal Windlight settings, snap a picture, save to my desktop, use my MacBook's Preview program to crop it to 8.8 inches (the biggest size this blog design will allow) and upload it to Photobucket. Wait - I  sometimes use the "Adjust Color" tool and tap "Auto Levels" which DRASTICALLY . . . pretty much does nothing except take away some of the muddiness.

So I guess here's the fundamental question: If you're a consumer with hard-earned lindens trying to decide whether to buy something, would you rather see it real and in the raw here on my no-frills blog before you buy it? Or would you rather see it prettied up with gorgeous lighting, flattering poses and some possible Photoshop tweaks against a striking studio or scenic setting . . . and then be bummed when you end up with a possibly duller version inworld? It's happened to me before.

Please don't get me wrong: If you look over at my Blogroll From Hell -- which I need to thin out since some of those blogs haven't been updated in months -- you'll see that I'm a fan of several of those dedicated fashion bloggers. Everything those bloggers do, from assembling the outfits to choosing the setting to selecting the poses to taking perfectly composed photos, is an expression of artistic talent, in my opinion, not to mention a keen eye for styling.

But I never promised anyone that here. So if you're a designer and you're appalled that your creation doesn't look spectacular on this blog, maybe you really need to examine just how confident you are in your work. Because no -- I'm not going to beautify a shot of your clothes for you. I'm going to show people exactly how it looks out there in the (virtual) world, doing everyday things that we all do. And before you start taking shots at my possibly lame computer, don't. Embarrassingly, I spent thousands of dollars customizing this MacBook Pro for an "optimal gaming experience."

And if you're a designer and your stuff looks great on this blog, BRAVO, because that means we can pretty much guarantee that it's awesome.

OK, that was an epic tantrum. Sorry.

I'm gonna go find chocolate now.

Black and Blue Fair


Carrie Lexington said...

hey emerald, good for you on calling that anonymous hater out. i had hate mail once from someone i know who sent it from an alt account. i turned it into a blog post too LOL

love your blog! when i scroll my blog list, i always look for new stuff from your blog :))

Verona Valentin said...

Man, I SO agree with #4! I would rather see an outfit that looks awesome even in so-called "bad" photography than see it in a stunning, but over processed, photograph then run out to buy it and have it look like crap.

I don't usually comment on your blog much, I just admire from afar, but this was a ballsy post. XD So, kudos to you for saying what others won't!

Whispers said...

I thought about offering to loan the little chicken shit my balls but I was afraid they'd comeback shriveled or diseased or something. Just look at it this must be making someone really jealous! /me considers making a team Emerald shirt ;)

Alicia Chenaux said...

I'm totally down with people who have opinions about what I write about. God knows over the past few years, there have been opinions. But you know? Why are they still reading? If you hate it, don't read it! No one EVER forces us to read someone's blog. That's our thing.

And I totally TOTALLY agree with you about the fashion blogging thing. If that's how the outfit looks on your screen, that's probably just how it looks. Going to one of the big name fashion blogs where they photoshop the shit to death is nice and the pics are pretty, but it's NOT the item. There are many things I can't blog because my limited photoshop skills wouldn't be enough to clean it up. It's up to the designer, not the blogger, to make the stuff look nice. If that's how it comes out of the box, hey, that's how it comes. They can't get mad because you didn't clean up their messy seams.

The haters can suck it, Em. You keep doing what you do. <3

Lila Corith said...

Man, I'm sorry such a loser bothered you like that. I don't know you but I'm a huge fan of your blog- and you're writing puts you MILES above the glossiest fashion blog.

I myself do not use photoshop, I've lost a lot of lindens by buying something that was airbrushed as hell in a "fashion" blog. I understand photoshop for artistic shots, but it's dishonest when showing what clothes and skins truly look like. I try to take my pictures in good "natural" lighting with interesting poses, but while they might not be exciting- what you see is EXACTLY what you'll get, and that's another thing I love about this blog.

Good luck with your stress level, and PLEASE keep writing here. :)

Miss Susa´s SL said...

Hey Em - EFFWORD them - happy you are feeling better - that notecard is probably from that well know designer ;-) this is sooooo CHILDISH - hugs to you
Love your blog and too cause you are not one of those treating designers like gods and saying its all just sooo marvelous

stay true to yourself and let haters be haters

using photoshop to make a product look better - then buying it for alot of lindens to see it´s not like they showed it - just a big BUGGER - I only use photoshop to crop and make me some twins and triplets LOL

keep up the good work Em and if you are bothered again by a hate-stalker I am sure we all have our big bro´s for you to borrow out ;)


Quaintly Tuqiri said...

I'm totally with you on #3, Emerald. In the scheme of things, this is all so darned petty. Blimey, do people not have more serious and weighty things to worry about? No? Then they ought to be thankful. And happy. LOL

I don't know what it is about SL, but I have never seen people overreact so much to stuff in all my life... never seen people take themselves so seriously and lose all sense of proportion. IRL it happens too (I can never understand the point of office politics) but in SL it always seems like 10 times more pronounced.

Deoridhe said...

I was going to post something all supporting or "you go girl" and stuff, but ...I think instead I'll be mugging you for your skin and dress.



Fricker Fraker said...

This is the greatest blog post EVER! EVER I say! People that send out little notecards like that are.. are.. well, basically SAD & Pathetic.

I hope they feel better now that they took time to make themselves feel all mighty and powerful. Oh wait, I meant sad & pathetic.

You should send the notecard to that WOSL guy for a nomination for worst of SL.

Emerald.. you had me at hello, you complete me! Huggs!

Emerald Wynn said...

OH, hi everyone!! ♥ And thank you!

My name is Emerald, but you can just call me EMBARRASSED.

I walked away from the whole SL thing for a while today, got some fresh air, went to a turtle sanctuary because I'm taking a rescue turtle there this week, then came back and spent some time in some forums for my latest "hobby that I'm hiding from people" -- Asian Ball-Jointed Dolls! (oof, thank you, Aisu - can I borrow $700??) -- and then I came back to this post and sort of laughed my not-so-Playboy-bunny tail off when I reread it.

Wow, it could be the most jaw-dropping display of PMS in action that I've ever written. In fact, I barely even remember writing it, I was in such a state of HORMONAL FRENZY.

Can I get a T-shirt that says, "A MOTHER-EFFIN' TREEHOUSE!"?

*dies and considers deleting this whole thing*

Deoridhe said...

Nooooooooooooooooooooo~! Don't delete! THINK OF THE MOTHER EFFING TREE HOUSES!

Tashi Core said...

Sorry to hear that someone kinda (or maybe just almost :)) spoiled your day, Emerald.

But I love your blog! :D :D

I actually sorta wish I can write like you. lol.

Hope you (and everyone) have a happy everyday :)

Cheers from Tashi Core

Steven said...

Love the blog. There are more than enough "fashion blogs" but only one of you.

SpAnKi said...

Ya know, I don't read your blog for the fashion advice (pretty obviously since I'm a guy hehe), but I consider your blog a find and continue to read it because you write well, you are funny, and incredibly honest. I would say most hate mail arises out of jealousy, so, just keep doin what your doin and kno that there are people out there who wish they could do it just like you.

Miss Susa´s SL said...

LOL "My name is Emerald, but you can just call me EMBARRASSED." Please don´t delete the post - if you have drama like this again - you can always come back and read all the kind words ;-)
These doll´s do look cute - made me google them LOL I´m in love with the Blythe dolls ;-)
hugs to you Em

Anonymous said...

I loved that blog Eme, honest, boderline psycho but all around funny :D

I say keep it, it's you and you cannot possibly deprive the hater from that one minute of fame!

Chalice Carling said...

I just stuck a pin in my teddy pretending it was that dick head anon note card writer. I bet they've got a seriously sore bum now.

Never change, never leave and never defer to idiots. You are very special and we are lucky to have your words to remind us to look beyond the obvious and see how colorful life can be.

Heidi Halberstadt said...

Oh Em, that made me laugh so damn hard, because didn't we just talk about how I love that you're a blogger who doesn't take herself or her blog so bloody serious(ly?). And how I loved your pics, except that you seem to be getting away from scribbling on them and what's up with THAT?

Obviously Chicken Little has been outvoted, so toss that notecard and don't you dare to change your blog, or I will come after you - I know where you live. Oh, yes, toss down that rope ladder for me, will ya?

Emerald Wynn said...

Ha ha, Heidi! I'm glad you laughed because the outrage absolutely was intended to be COMICAL, not serious, but unfortunately so many people have IMed me going, "OMG, are you OK?? You seemed so angry and upset!!"

LOL - like I would really be screaming like that about something that stupid. Granted, my points are all valid, but mainly I was mildly annoyed and somewhat amazed by how someone could get their priorities so screwed up as to let an SL blog take up so much angry, hateful space in their head.

Thanks for getting it.

That tree house was a Fantasy Faire 2010 purchase. It's turning out to be a little too mossy for my taste.

Heidi Halberstadt said...

Em, darlin', you're not supposed to nom the treehouse...

Eva Bonner said...

Em, you are a gifted writer and people can sense your sincerity and vulnerability. You find the funny in the everyday tragedies of ourlaggy second life. Keep on doing what you do , how you do it,you are special and unique, and so cute when you get mad. Love you to pieces.

nimil said...

everyone has said what should be said. i heart you emmy, haters to the left! (lol sorry i've just always wanted to say that)

Arcadia Nightfire said...

Speaking as someone who is/was a part of that "whole MDR clan", I have to say I had no idea there were any bad feelings between you and Cajsa but I've always known her to be a very understanding and kind person. Perhaps it was a misunderstanding.

And as for the photoshoping of blog posts, I can see both sides of the argument but I hardle ever photoshop my own blog photos. hell, I've even left hair sticking through prim parts before. With one or two exceptions, what you see is what I see on my screen. Though I do fix my wonky wrist that likes to pretend it's shaped like a triangle on a pretty regular basis.

Emerald Wynn said...

Arcadia ♥

For the record, I have no hard feelings about Cajsa. She was mad because I called one of her friends batsh*t crazy. She told me to stop acting childish. That's impossible, but I can appreciate that.

Oooooof - I never meant for people to take this post personally. I was just defending myself against a notecard that said a designer did not want her clothes in my ugly pictures. I do appreciate the discussion about photography that the post apparently has prompted, though.

I LOLed at your triangle wrist. Just typing that makes me laugh again.