Friday, September 24, 2010



Yesterday I had to listen to the news that about 85 percent of my niece's brain is damaged — that even if she survives this first year, there's a good chance she won't be able to walk, talk, comprehend much or eat solid foods — and suddenly the world tilts and I feel sort of outside my body and trapped at the same time, like I'm watching a horrible movie that's going to last for hours, for days, for years, and no matter how hard I try, I can't leave the theater.

You hear the doctors say things like, "usually the mother will miscarry a child with this type of defect during the first trimester" and you have no clue what you're supposed to do with that information. They tell you, in so many words, that this baby is a biological mistake. They tell you the next step is genetic counseling, and you kind of want to say, "Isn't it too late for that?" They tell you the blinding truth and you want to close your eyes and beg them to lie.

This is not even my child, but hey, hey, hey, it takes a village and all that, so I watch my baby brother try to look strong as he hears that his daughter will need special care for the rest of her life, that he may never really know her mind, that eventually she will need cosmetic surgery to save her face. I watch my father crumble like a defeated giant and cry tears I never knew he had. I watch my mother storm the Internet to hunt down multisyllabic words like holoprosencephaly and microcephaly and then print and print and print everything she can find, as if she can print it all away, print it out of the universe, hunt it down and smear it with ink and rip it to shreds and throw it away and start all over with a fresh sheet of paper. Our kitchen has suddenly become a medical library. Our kitchen is sinking into an ocean of rotten syllables.

And meanwhile you shift from first to second to third person. You can't find a place and you can't find a voice and you can't find a perspective and you're thinking, "After this day, nothing is ever going to be the same." You will look back on this day and mark it with red ink and call it "The Day Everything Changed."

I want to do something but I can't. There's a selfish part of me that wants to say, "This does not have to be my life this does not have to touch my life this does not have to shape my life" and get in my car and drive and drive and drive far away from here. Instead I wait in the suffocating darkness and watch the clock as the night slides by and wonder what the hell we're all supposed to do when the sun comes up.

I log in because I need to do something with my hands and I get a message telling me that I need to download a new version of the viewer, that I cannot enter until I download a new viewer, that nothing will work until I download a new viewer, like the whole damn universe is suddenly saying, "No."

When I finally get in, my Windlight settings are all jacked up and it's so piercingly bright that the light hurts my eyes.

I can't see.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

I'm sick of looking at your faces

Am I the only one who looks at this screen all the time and wonders who the hell these people are:


They don't even look like SL avatars. They look like clip art. That chick has, what - a white banana sticking out of her ear? Is it a horn? A hair tie? A headset? And we won't even talk about the "Don't mind me, I'm just on my way to The Gap" guy.

To be honest, all I really see when I look at that pic is that girl's "I just got done getting lip injections and drinking your blood" mouth anyway.

(I like to beat up cartoons.) 

Plus, I love the whole "Join Now, it's free!" sales tactic there too. Because if I were just some random person who accidentally landed on one of these SL maps pages, I would totally look at those two hipsters and say, "Hell yeah! Where do I sign up?"

. . . God, I'm going to feel horrible if those are actual people in SL. The next post will be titled, "Backpedal."
[UPDATE: I just added this clarification in Comments and now I'm going to edit it in here: Even though I just took out my frustrations on the poor "adventurous-looking line drawings, and BTW we need to make them multicultural too!" (sorry, I'm a cynic. I work in a marketing agency), the real point is I miss the old SLURLs. Some of my friends who don't use V2 are having a hard time with these new Second Life maps. Plus, if you're gonna go for the "If you join and teleport here, you could meet these fascinating people!" angle, at least use a realistic depiction of our SL diversity - like an elf, a Furry, a glamour gal, a guy with a Freenis stuck to the outside of his pants, a couple of RPers, a gothy AV, an average Joe and Jill - and put them in, like, a cheerleader pyramid or something. Or on a hayride. You can hire me any day now, Linden Lab.]

Hey, can I get a "Wow, is she REALLY blogging about the TELEPORT Web page??" award?

I'm in the throes of insomnia agony right now - doing that clock-watching thing, that whole "If I fall asleep now, I can still get four hours of sleep before I have to get up for work" routine. I thought maybe I'd make up for my recent lack of blogging, but I don't even have anything to write about. (No, really?)

So here's a picture of my yard:


Whenever I get a new house, I swear to myself that I'm gonna keep it classy this time. And yet somehow it always ends up looking like . . . Dollywood. Or like somebody blew up a box of 64 crayons. Oops.

No wonder everyone around me keeps moving.

Speaking of my house, I love it when friends come in while I'm not there and leave things that scare the BEEJEEZUS out of me when I log in.


Thank you, Heidi! It's scary enough to log in and find myself in socks and glitch pants.

At first I honestly thought that was a REAL AV who was just hangin' out on my couch. When I log in, I'm facing in the other direction. So that thing got the horror-movie jump out of me and everything when I turned around.

Damn, I meant to take a close-up pic of his underarm hair.

I don't really have a segue here, but thank you to everyone who's been asking about my niece. She had her first MRI this past Friday - we'll get the results on Thursday. Then we'll know if there's any brain damage and we'll be able to schedule her surgery. I'm reluctant to talk about it very much. This situation is defining my family's lives right now. Second Life is a rare escape from all of it.

But I don't really feel like myself these days. I laugh and it feels like a crime.

And on that cheery note, I guess I'll go make a midnight sandwich.

Good night, lovely people!

Patron Saint of Procrastinators (*points to self*)

I don't know if you've noticed, but a helluvalotta my blog posts start with a Big Damn Picture of my AV's Face. Oops and wow. (And yeah, Carly Simon, I DO think your song is about me.)

So I promised myself I wouldn't do that for a while. HOWEVER, it's the last day of Hair Fair. You have until midnight SLT to still get over there! That's, well, a little more than three hours! A veritable eternity! Go! (Or you can always hit the actual stores later.)

Some last-minute notables for you:

Bliensen + MaiTai - A Night at Flashmans – Opium (Reds)

I bought every hairstyle in the Bliensen + MaiTai tent. Or section of the tent. Or whatever. I wasn't smart enough to navigate Hair Fair this year. Every time I tried to go somewhere I kept ending up in the Sari's tent somehow. It was like a canvas labyrinth to me. I cried for a while. Then I just TPed to different places straight from the Hair Fair 2010 blog.

Nikita Fride - Cat Goddess
(Skin: Mynerva - Sophie in Nude. Eyes: Forbidden Apple - icoramu eyes in Pink x Blue)

I laugh, therefore I buy.

And the award for "Best Hair for a Bunny Assassin" goes to ...

LoQ Hairs - Caffe Corretto, Black Pack

Now listen! This is important. If you too are longing for a lace mask/hat/bunny hair . . . thingy . . . and buy this hair, DO NOT make the same mistake I did and put it on and shout, "BUT WAIT, I'M STILL BALD UNDERNEATH!" Read the fine print. Hair base not included! (I ended up buying some hairbase tattoo layers from Amacci on Second Life Marketplace while feeling slightly irritated with myself.)

I feel pretty. Oh so pretty.

Sparkle Skye - Sayuri

I'm a huge fan of Sparkle Skye.

And now, let's all shout it together:



(Hair: Sallie in Reds. Skin: Mynerva - Sophie - Smokey Red)

Hey, remember last year when Lamb released that fabulous flowing Breeze hair and none of us could live without it? Those were the good old days. This Breathe Me hair by Shag has that same va-va-voom vibe:


I could use some va-va-voom in my life. I bought the fatpack. (Skin: Mynerva - Cynthia's Sister - 16th Apology)

As far as this next style goes, there are all kinds of witty things I could say about it (or I could possibly even offer up an explanation as to why I bought it).

But instead I'm just gonna say, "Hey, look at this hair."

Milestone Creations - Tea Party

I love Milestone Creations. They never fail to serve up the wacky. With a spoonful of sugar.

I'm not even supposed to be blogging about hair today, actually. It's Bandana Day in Second Life. Many people are wearing bandanas to show solidarity for people who have lost their hair during chemotherapy.

Let's pause in reverence as we gaze at The Most Awesome Bandana Ever . . .


Courtesy of L+N Signature Design and Fashion (50L). The water moves. Smoke comes out of the chimney of that house. Those are horses. Really, there are no words. (Eyes: Forbidden Apple again, this time in green.)

I zoomed in to get a closer look at the girl sitting on the hill:



Find the SLURLs for all your favorite creators at Hair Fair on the Hair Fair Blog. Click here.

Forbidden Apple

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

I am not a pretty girl. That is not what I do.

Honestly, I'm going to give up writing titles for these things and just start slapping down a lyric from whatever song happens to be stuck in my head instead.

Hey, I'll take your St. Patrick's Day and raise you the spawn of hot leprechaun sex:


Awesome. Don't ever say I don't occasionally live up to my name.

Just call me the Queen of Blog Fail this week, but curtsey when you do it, please. My heart just isn't in it these days. (But ironically, this is my 200th blog post! WOO HOO!) I don't know what's worse - forcing yourself to blog when you don't really feel like talking or just disappearing for a while. I've tried both.

Oh well. Let's give it a shot.

There are a couple of titles in my group slots right now - titles like "Hair Fair Blogger" and "Project Donate Blogger" - that are getting neglected. Insert [blah blah blah blah real life woes blah blah blah] here . . . followed by a twinge of guilt.

Since these two events combine the best of both worlds - scratching our shopping itch and supporting worthy causes - let's all join hands in spiritual oneness and focus our loving energy (and lindens) on them, shall we?

I'm sporting House of Munster hair in this post. Forget Lucy - I love Lolli. When Lolli Munster first busted out onto the hair scene with her "flush your Barbie down the toilet and release your inner freak" styles, my inner freak screamed, "OH HELL YES!" in all caps. This year, HoM has four new styles at Hair Fair, which benefits Wigs for Kids. I'm wearing Lola in Greens, Nation:


You want that outfit too.

Dress: Reale - Candyflower Dress
Earrings: Acid & Mala - Messed Memory Wire Set
Necklace: je suis - Boheme
Boots: Coriander - Lilia Boots
Skin: Mynerva - Pearls b4 the Swine, cleavage option (no, really???)
Eye makeup: Glamorize - Wild Eye Makeup in Monarch (fat pack, 10L!!!)
Eyes: Beloved Custom Designs - Peridot
Pose: !Bang - from This Sh*t is Bananas set

Excuse me for a moment while I lick those boots . . .


(HAHAHAHA! OOPS! That picture is huge. I have got to stop doing that. I would go back and resize it but I'm too damn lazy. Thank God I shaved my legs.)

All the clothing and accessories in these photos are from the Project Donate marketplace, which really should be called "Project I WANT THAT!" thanks to the vast selection of greatness from some of SL's most talented creators. As I'm sure you've read by now (because I'm such a late bloomer with this post), proceeds from items sold there go to the UNICEF Pakistan Flood Crisis Fund, which assists victims of the devastating floods that started on July 26.

Not-so-fun fact: The United Nations estimates that more than 21 million people are injured or homeless as a result of that flooding, exceeding the combined total of individuals affected by the 2004 Indian Ocean tsunami, the 2005 Kashmir earthquake and the 2010 Haiti earthquake. (Source: BBC News)

So yes, I spent a fortune there. I pretty much ran around and snatched things up with unbridled - but for once, guilt-free - greed.


"I ain't no damsel in distress, and I don't need to be rescued."

Hair: House of Munster - Black Magick (Hair Fair)
Top: Boho - Spring Fling
Skirt: Kamikaze - Black Tulle Skirt
Makeup layer: Bounce - Mud on Me
Pose: !Bang - from the Feeling Blah set

I don't have the words to describe how fierce that skirt is. That is not your grandmother's tutu, kids.

And here's a random pic that actually was going to run at the beginning of this post, but the more I look at it, the more it looks like I gave up on finding a porta-potty and just decided to squat in the middle of, I don't know, a giant, blurry game of black-and-white jacks for a long, contemplative poop.


Hair: House of Munster - Lola2 in Browns, Gash (Hair Fair)

Never thought I'd use the words "potty" and/or "poop" in a blog post, but there you go, folks. Making blog history right before your very eyes. We have possibly hit rock bottom here, pardon the pun.

Both Hair Fair and Project Donate end on Sept. 19. You still have time. Procrastinators are cool.

Hair Fair Blog
Hair Fair House of Munster SLURL
Project Donate Blog
Project Donate SLURL

Beloved Custom Designs
Mynerva - whoooooooops, I forgot to grab the SLURL, but it's in my last couple of posts

Love and laughs to you and yours. ♥

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Small screen goddess

Once again, Curio Obscura is bringing the awesome to Hair Fair:


Telly Tower. Price: 350L . . . I think. Even during a mildly populated blogger preview, I only lasted about 20 minutes at Hair Fair before my AV started popping and locking like she was trying out for "Breakin' 3." Then I got that grey screen of doom, the one that tries to make you feel better about crashing by insisting that even though you've been logged out, you can still chat . . . when you can't. They lie.

Anyway, there are 17 screens in that hair. When a friend touches one of them, his/her profile picture appears on it. Let's pause for a moment while I roll around on the floor with glee . . . .

. . . . OK.

The hair color and accessories are customizable by menu.

Creator Pandora Wrigglesworth is releasing four new hairstyles, including Telly Tower, at Hair Fair 2010 (Sept. 4 - 19). A portion of sales go to Wigs for Kids, a charity organization that provides hairpieces for children suffering radical hair loss for medical reasons.

This next hairstyle rotates, so much so that I had a hard time snapping a picture of it (what else is new?):


Carousel Hair. (Nice bangs!)

Those eyes are from A:S:S. By now you probably think I'm A:S:S's eye bitch. YOU'RE RIGHT. Kidding. I just really like that store's eyes. And eventually I'll come back here and tell you what those eyes are called. I forgot to make a note of it. Thank God the V2 viewer has that handy "Help, I forgot what the hell I'm wearing" tab.

[Update: They're from the Love in Your Eyes (Divine) collection in El. Just go ahead and surrender to the fatpack.]

Yes, I'm a proud V2 user. It makes me feel like a ninja, considering how many people hate it. (I master the forces of evil!) Plus, the tattoo layer has changed my life. I used to chase skins; now I'm a makeup junkie. All those skins that once made me say, "Aw, I like this skin, but I wish the eye makeup was a little darker" are under my command now. Feel my power.

That combo up there is the Cynthia skin in Rose by Mynerva with the Back to Basics (in black) eye makeup tattoo layer by Glamorize. Much love to IndiaRose Muircastle for passing me the Glamorize LM. Just about everything in that store is 10L, if not cheaper. Makeups galore!!!

WOW, we got off track. Sorry. Back to the merry-go-round. It has prancing hair horses:


Whoops, black splotch. Too lazy to fix that. Sorry.

Curio Obscura also wants to make sure no one ever bugs you with that age-old annoying, "Do you know what time it is?" question again.


Grandfather Clock hairstyle. It actually keeps real SL time with its fully animated, no-lag pendulum. Awesome.

(Hahaha! It wouldn't be Hair Fair without a "How the eff do I fit this whole Curio Obscura hairstyle in the picture?" moment.)

The fourth new hairstyle is a surprise. (Actually, I forgot to buy it.)

So when I recovered from my initial Hair Fair crash, I logged back in just when the four sims opened up to general admission. Before I could even finish loading, people were already screaming about my prims.


*takes a bow for singlehandedly lagging up a sim*

Sheeeeeeesh. I guess it wouldn't be Hair Fair without the ARC police either.

In other news, I'm thinking of starting a series called "What I Was Wearing When I Logged Off Last Night":


Well . . . it seemed like a good idea at the time.

I blame the Ambien.


• To read all about Hair Fair 2010, including a list of participating creators and SLURLs, click here: Hair Fair 2010 Web site.

• To read about this year's recipient charity, Wigs for Kids, click here: Wigs for Kids Web site.

• To visit the Curio Obscura booth at Hair Fair 2010, TP here: Curio Obscura Hair Fair Booth.

• To check out Curio Obscura's blog, which has much better pictures than mine, click here: Curio Obscura - For the Strange and Wonderful

• To get your affordable makeup on, visit Glamorize for a smorgasbord of tattoo layers: Glamorize

• If you haven't tried any Mynerva skin demos yet, you need to: Mynerva

• To join the "When Is That Bitch Gonna Stop Talking About A:S:S Eyes?" club, TP here: A:S:S