Thursday, January 29, 2009

On hoochies, giant nipples, beauty and the search for Truth

OH LAWDY, I don't even know where to start, but I need to post something or I'll lose my five readers, so here we go:

1. Dear SL Store Owners,

If you want me to shop in your store or join your group, you could help by not putting extra symbols in the beginning of the name, like "..::!!{Emerald's} Body Bling Boutique!!::.." or "♥Sexy Sehra's Squirrel Shoppe♥." Frankly I'm not smart enough to include hearts, colons, periods, asterisks, exclamation points or brackets when I'm searching for a store or a group.

For example, I wanted to hit the buzz-generating hair sale at Truth the other day. I don't know Truth Hawks personally, I like his work and I'm not dissing him here. I'm just sayin':

I searched for "Truth" in SL's trusty search engine and ended up IN CHURCH:


(At Basilica Cardinale Cathedral)

Then I discovered that Truth's store's name actually is spelled >Truth<. You fellow Truth-seekers can clicky here for the SLurl if you need it. Even with the symbols, it still doesn't show up in Search, so scratch my bitching up there and join me in continuing to loudly yelp that SL needs a better search engine.


That's the "pray the rosary" pose in the pew, BTW. I forgot my rosary (but you can grab a free one by clicking the sign in the back of the cathedral) so I tried to draw one into the photo. Epic fail.

Speaking of praying, I'm really heartbroken because I took that hair off and now can't remember what it's called or who made it. I have no clue how I'll ever find it again in my folder of 9,000 hair styles. (Someone *cough* really needs to sort and organize her 45K items.) If anyone recognizes it, please let me know. 

(In other fashion news, the swingy little cocktail dress is called Zoee Dress by DYN Clothing and the skin is Shyla Black Red in Penny, on sale for 20L at the giant Dilly Dolls sale . . . and HEY note that none of that stuff is free, Prad.)

Speaking of church and Prad Prathivi, he and Rrishanna Regina tackle the topic of SL spirituality over on Metaversally Speaking -- specifically HERE and HERE -- in case you're itching for something more deep and meaningful on that subject. 

And contrary to the ribbing I occasionally take, I DON'T constantly fangirl Prad in this blog -- only about once a month. And it's completely innocent: I have a healthy respect for him from a purely literary standpoint. That blog is one of the rare few that I love. Plus, his AV looks a little bit like my first love and fifth-grade boyfriend, Manuel. Not that your AV looks like a prepubescent kid, Prad! Manuel was an early bloomer. 

Oh God, I'm shutting up now. 

2. If you really want to catch a generous slice of SL life in action, you need only go to your nearest lucky chair-of-the-moment.

Am I the only one who notices that most of the people stalking the chair at Rezzable's Crimson Shadow look like they would never in a million years actually wear the outfit or, if so, look, um, right in it?



At another widely popular Lucky Chair, the chickie below was, in open chat, telling her fellow chair stalkers (me included, since I was forced to read it) about all the money she makes as a dominatrix and offering pointers to anyone who wanted to get started in the business:


Um, thanks. And hey hey hey, honey, I'm sure those intricately detailed (and so damn gorgeous) clothes and goth dolly dresses in the chair at The Black Canary will fit in PERFECTLY with your whips and latex! (And no, she wasn't holding the McCain sign. That's bad humor on my part.)

I want her boobs though.

I fell prey to Lucky Chair Fever when I waited for about an hour at Towa for these Miracle Heart eyes with particle tears:


(It's hard to get a shot of tears falling rapidly.)

Now I can mope around SL weeping and being all emo.

That skin is from Tres Very in Light/Peachy and I am so damn happy to be back in it. I try on a ton of skins but always end up being a Tres Very loyalist. Someone needs to throw a parade in skin designer Verotica Lewis' honor -- she doesn't get enough play in the blogs.

3. Speaking of shopping for skins, I know certain, ahem, parts are important to us, but I remain shocked when someone gets buck-naked in a store to try on skins:


(Couldn't show the front because I know from experience that Photobucket will delete it for "inappropriate content.")

And I also had to finally mute a colorful discussion about skins in a prominent fashion group because it was making me throw up in my mouth (albeit hilarious). Names have been replaced to protect privacy. HERE COME THE NIPPLES!

[10:36] Chatter 1: Nipples are one of my main focus when looking for skins
[10:37] Chatter 1: some are too dark
[10:38] Chatter 2: i'm okie with nipple as long as areola isn't size of Texas
[10:38] Chatter 3: "down there hair" for me lol..... i hate skins with giant bushes.... they should all give you options IMO

I clicked "mute" when they got to "landing strips." I was eating pizza at the time. And actually, I now kind of WANT a skin with areolae the size of Texas, just so I can seduce new SL residents and then freak the hell out of them during the SL sex deflowering.

4. Three more random pics with little discussion (I promise) and then we're done:


I'm not into textures because I'm not a creator, but sure, I'll show up at a texture mob vendor to help a sister out. Just don't hold it against me when my AV looks like an icy bitch for some reason.


Sometimes when I'm blue, I go to Legends of China, listen to the music and watch the dancers. It's so beautiful it makes my heart hurt, in a good way. (Shopping tip: In Stone Ryba's nearby store, many of her gorgeous, gorgeous, traditional Chinese ensembles are on sale for 100L upstairs. I bought a bunch. So watch for me decked out in elaborate cheongsams in the near future.)

And finally, I went to my first and last (I swear) Comicon last weekend just to meet my former teen crush Gil Gerard, who played Buck Rogers back in the '80s. I know some people consider it a cardinal sin to mix RL and SL, but humor me. I'm still buzzing off the whole experience:


WHOOPS! I kind of molested the poor guy, but he's an actor so he's doing a great job of acting like this is our engagement picture. I need eyebrows. And a comb. 

Shoot, I just killed the whole Emerald fantasy for you, huh?

My ex-bf looked at this pic and said, "More photographic proof that you are quite possibly a half-breed elf," which is exactly the type of CHARMING comment that landed him in the EX-bf category in the first place.

The End.


Alicia Chenaux said...

Is that ponytail from Diversity? I thought I had one like that in my inventory at one point.

I am soooo making something for you. lol Not saying what yet.

Alexa Daikon said...

hahahaha OMG I'd totally leave a good comment but I'm laughing way too hard. I needed that. Awesome post!

And you really don't look like a half-bred elf... quite cute actually!

Anonymous said...

Love that blogpost as usual! I do think tears in SL have a rhythm you can change. Didn't it come with a notecard?

Merrick Thor said...

Wow. Gil Gerard. SERIOUSLY jealous. Man, I used to LOVE that show! Be-de-be-de-be-de ...

And I agree - very cute. Besides, I don't see where he gets off calling you a 'half-breed elf' ... your EARS aren't even POINTY! XD

Emerald Wynn said...

Thank you, my cherished four readers!

Actually, Merrick, my ears ARE huge and pointy, but I was smart enough to pull my hair over them in that pic.

Gil Gerard said people still make that be-de-be-de noise at him in public. I, however, did not. I just humped his leg and left it at that.

Tristan Micheline said...

Em, I'm always so happy to see you have a new post out.

you always manage to make me smile and laugh. Great post.

It's so fun to have you in world more often.


Prad Prathivi said...

Hey - it's Manual. How ya been?



Learning Teacher said...

*coughs* Kimonos are Japanese, not Chinese. CHEONGSAMS are Chinese! (says she of Chinese descent :P)

I've never heard of Tres Very before... do they have freebies? (as you can see... I'm cheap)

You're reminding me that I have a bunch of stuff from the Crimson Shadow lucky chair -- friends sometimes TP me in to change the letter -- and I don't think I've even unpacked any of it yet o.O Because I'm always one of those who TP in looking like I would never in a million years actually wear the outfit XD

As for the store/group name thing... ::69:: is the store, who knew the group would be called Sixty-Nine???? (searched in vain and then decided to pull up the creator's profile and find the group that way... see, I can be smart sometimes!)


Emerald Wynn said...

OOH! Quaintly -- I'll fix it. Thank you!!

Tres Very has never given out freebies, as far as I know. If so, I'll be heartbroken that I missed them. :(

Julie Fogg said...

I feel so much better that someone else is a hoarder in Second Life as far as inventory goes. I just did some Spring cleaning on my landmarks and shoes and accidentally lost my hair and couldn't remember the name. Your post was hilarious.