Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Ave Maria


I bought some of those breedable fairies.

They look like someone took Nicole Kidman and stuffed her in a sleeping bag.


You're scaring me. Stop it.

So . . . there's a Second Life version of Lourdes:


The high rise behind it has been blessed with holy water.

It's got a robot Virgin Mary:


She looks a little unsympathetic.

My three-month old niece hasn't been doing so well. Her head isn't forming right and her eyes are slightly crossed and her limbs look like they belong on someone else's body.

Today she got diagnosed with craniosynostosis, and I just want to scream and scream and scream in terror until I can't scream anymore. A pediatric neurosurgeon is going to have to cut open the top of her little head because her skull isn't growing and her brain is compressed. We don't know about brain damage yet. Hopefully we have caught it in time.

I am not a mother, but for the first time in my life I feel this kind of primal protective rage. I want to grab God by the lapels of his big shiny white suit and scream, "GIVE IT TO ME INSTEAD!" in His face.

She's just a little baby. :(

Many Catholics believe that the Virgin Mary once appeared to Blessed Alan de la Roche (c.1428-1475) and revealed to him 15 promises of blessings for those who devoutly pray the Rosary.

From age 17 to about age 29, I prayed the Rosary almost every morning or evening, not for blessings but just because I liked being in a quiet, sacred place where I could put all my thoughts on hold for 10 minutes. Then I hit my jaded 30s and the Virgin Mary sort of got swept under my spiritual rug, so to speak. I don't know.

Hey Mary, are you there? I know we haven't talked in a while, but we used to talk a lot. So I'll take your promises 11 and 12 now. Thanks.


This is my niece. Her name is Reilly. If you're the praying type, we'd appreciate a few minutes of your time. :(

I turned off comments because I don't want this to seem like another "OMG woe is me!" post. I just wanted people to know why I'm not really myself these days. I meant to write this post about those breedable fairies and I got a whopping three sentences down before I just couldn't write any more. I realize now that everything I've been stressing out about all year is ridiculous. I would take it all a hundred times over just to take this pain away from this baby.

I told my mother that this seems like The Year of Impossible Hurdles and she said, "No - this is life. You're just getting old and finally understanding it."

Breedable Fairies
Grotto and Garden of Our Lady of Lourdes