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Saturday, July 24, 2010

Rich Bitches Cook Goats

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That pic is for all the foot fetishists out there.

So, I got invited to a blogger preview party for the reopening of the store rbcg. Well, actually that's kind of a stretch. The subscribo sent a notecard encouraging bloggers to request an invite. And since I've always loved that store, I sent a note saying, "Please please please please please please please?"

I'm always scared to attend blogger parties or request to be on review lists and the like. Even after two years of fooling around on this blog, I'm still pretty much a nobody in the SL blog community. I can't count the number of times I've heard (or read), "Who the hell is Emerald Wynn?"

But I AM a real blogger! I AM! I AM!

Enough about me. Let's talk about rbcg.

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Creator Kyrsten Jigsaw is a master of quirk. Her store is full of stuff that'll make you laugh and a small selection of beautifully drawn clothes. If you perv her profile like I did, you'll see that her SL pic is cool and her RL pic should be in one of the Lindens' "Look, we really DO have attractive people behind our avatars!" ads.

Whenever I shop at rbcg., so many questions come to mind. Like, what does "rbcg."stand for? And what's up with all the mustaches?

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(blabbit gatcha, 20L a pop. Cynthia skin in Rose by Mynerva. Eyes by A:S:S, to be featured in my next blog post, use your time machine)

I asked Kyrsten about the name of her store. (I didn't ask about the mustaches because that would have been sort of stupid and awkward.) She told me that "rbcg." is just a bunch of random letters. (With a period after them, before you start thinking that my punctuation skills have completely gone to hell.)

Kyrsten, NO! You've gotta get a better answer than that! The possibilities are so damn endless!

Real Boys Can't Golf
Rotten Bananas Catch Germs
Rabbits Beckon Clingy Girls
Rockstars Bang Crusty Geese
Raunchy Bloggers Cause Goosebumps
Really Bad Custard GAH!

I could do this all night.

Let's get to the goods. I like the fact that nothing's capitalized. It gives it all an e.e. cummings vibe.

(All items by rbcg. unless otherwise noted. Some were blogger party gifts. Some were purchased.)

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(toilet paper outfit, 120L. Also: pose from Case of the Sillies pose set, 10L, and The Corner of 1st & 5th Photobox, limited edition for two weeks, 100L, both at TUFT; Annie in Almond hair by Truth; Plain Jane skin in Dot-to-Dot by Mynerva)

How do I love thee, toilet paper outfit? Let me count the ways.

1. You can throw that roll of toilet paper at people.
2. "Excuse me, you've got some toilet paper stuck to your shoe . . . and nipples."

I actually got TP'ed to flip a lucky chair while I was in this sassy little double-ply getup — [dramatic pause] — and that's when I realized TOO LATE that my vajayjay was hanging out of it. Before then I'd never really looked at my private parts in SL, if you can believe that. Wow, they're pretty photorealistic, huh? :-\

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(granny's floppy hat, 130L; the clown's glasses, 80L; my crop tee ["Zombies Want Your Brain!!!!"], 60L)

I snuck into my friend Aisu's giant sandcastle house and took that pic while she was offline. Um, and I took that pic up top in her swimming pool too.

(Hey Aisuru, I was running around in your house and screwing around with your stuff while you were out.)

Oops.

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(Pose from Vivapose's Emotional pose set at Summer of Love Fair)

Worst picture ever of a super villain costume (cape, unibrow, mustache), 150L, worn with 'if you're a bird' dress in brown, 250L, lemme try that one again:

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Nope, still sucks.

Nice mustache, though!

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(beach shack, 69L, at Summer of Love Fair)

OMG — HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! (Help, my house.)

*coughs*

If you buy rbcg.'s beach shack at the Summer of Love Fair, be forewarned that it's pretty substantial. I mean, don't make the mistake of thinking it's a small cabana-like thing for your backyard. Only an idiot would do that.

(Oh sh*t, I smushed the kraken!)

And gentlemen, before you start feeling all weepy and left out, I didn't forget about you:

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(jock strap, 49L, at Summer of Love Fair)

"Stuffed version for the ladies — or men with tiny junk."

LMAO! Yes, my whole ass.

You can visit the rbcg. flagship store on Thibedeau or pop in the satellite store when you check out Pennelope Thiessam's new Rumor sim.

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(owwl avatar, 345L, and yes it's spelled with two W's)

I'm on a horse.

VISIT IN WORLD!
rbcg. flagship store
rbcg. on Rumor . . . well, I tried to make a landmark at the store, but SL just kept saying "Loading, loading loading" like a jackass, so that link is for the Rumor landing point.
Summer of Love Fair
TUFT
Truth
Mynerva
Aisuru's House, easy to break into! (HA HA HA! Made you look!)

(Try to figure out when the ultra-delicious and oh-so-affordable Big House Red wine kicked in!)

9 comments:

Chalice Carling said...

God you're a dag. Those sock straps, I spat out my M&M and it nearly broke my screen. Thanks for my Sunday arvo crack up Em.
xx

Emerald Wynn said...

Had to Google "dag" and "arvo." ------>

And now I want candy.

XXOO

Banana Vella said...

First of all, I'd like to state that I'm not rotten. Now that we've cleared that up, I feel it stands for Really Bloody Cool Gifts. Except they arent gifts. I couldnt think of anything else.

clap clap on the list you thought of. xx

Aisuru Rieko said...

lol that's what it's there for! I did build a literal bridge for visitors! <3 love that Bluebonnet is beachy now so I can live in the sand castle, it rocks. I have to visit this summer of love thingy

Emerald Wynn said...

@Banana - Bloody cool! See, the whole British slang thing never crossed my mind, but YES! I'm ashamed that I didn't think of it. (And NO, you're not rotten! Laughter.)

Second Life has really broadened my cultural horizons with this wide range of international vocabulary.

@Aisuru - I was reluctant to bring up the Summer of Love Fair because I feel like I've seen it a million times in every SL blog there is now. I did go pillage the place though. Cool stuff. Warning: It's ironic that the lag will make you MENTALLY ILL.

LisaMun Aronowicz said...

LOL! Thanks for giving me my weekly fix! I needed that! (It's weekly now eh)? :-))))

SpAnKi said...

hi Emerald, just thought you might be interested in this

http://slurl.com/secondlife/The%20Wash/164/79/23

http://washes.wordpress.com/2010/07/22/cart-sale-madness/

Spanks :)

Anonymous said...

YOU crack me UP!!!

Emerald Wynn said...

@LisaMun: Hugs and thank you! And OOOOF until my job slows down a little and I finish this move I'm in the middle of making (counting down the days until Sept. 1 when it's over), sadly yeah, I don't have much time these days.

@Spanki: Thank you thank you - and your blog makes me happy because it looks like you're happy - yay!!

@Anonymous: Thank you! Whenever I see "Anonymous," I brace myself for something mean, so your comment was a nice deviation from the occasional anonymous hater. :)