Tuesday, March 20, 2012

talls vs. smalls (y'all)

This Vintage Cotton Tunic by Malt is not part of a special event. It is not a charity item. It was not featured in a Project Super Bargain Lazy Fashionably Eventa weekend sale. I simply walked into the store, saw it, liked it, and bought it.

I know! What a concept, right? And I've been stuck on that song "HippieChick" by Soho ever since I put it on. ("No hip-hip-hip hip-hip, no hippie chick!")

I am deeply weary in my bones these days and did not have the creative energy to style this look. But hey! At least I matched my Ingenue Gatsby Heels and my wallpaper to it! Matchy matchy!

So, to completely change the subject, I'm hoping someone will make some giant, bad-ass, combat-style boots and name them "PETITE STOMPERS!"and maybe give them a Hulk Smash sound when they walk.

I run into those damn little Petites whenever I try to TP anywhere. I trip over them and then I always have to beg for forgiveness and GRRRRR!

Someday, somewhere, this picture will hang in a prestigious art exhibit.

Sorry, I got tired of waiting for their little faces to rez. And WHAT THE HELL, my shoes disappeared! I hate it when that happens. Now I will have to kick the leeeeeetle teeny fairies with my bare feets. Fairy juice in between my toes!

OK OK OK — you know I'm just fake-bitching about them because I'm jealous. I still can't afford one of those awesome petite avatars by Yabu. And I guess I'm not the only one. Creator Elvina Ewing of Caverna Obscura has made some free petite AVs, specifically because people in the VIP group were complaining that they can't afford them either. I wasn't one of them though. I save my moaning and wailing for this blog.

Thanks to her generosity, you can now grab these free Minikins in her store. They're available in 0.3 and 0.4 sizes, whatever that means. Sorry. The whole Petite thing is kind of foreign to me. I don't speak the lingo. I can talk about breedable cows until the cows come home though!

Unfortunately, I'm not smart enough to understand the "Now you can get a petite sized mesh avatar FOR FREE!" notecard that announced them. It says, "Important thing should be mentioned: Minikin avatars are NOT compatible with clothing made for Petites!!! So please, don’t buy Petite clothes for Minikins! Animations made for Petites, furniture and other non-wearable things might be well suitable for Minikins, although I haven’t tested any."

So wait, that means . . . they're not really Petites? They're nudists? Or even though they can't wear clothes, they could possibly ride little tiny horses and sit in little tiny chairs and do little tiny dances or . . . whaa? They can hang out with the Petites, but they'll be like the naked misfits of the group? I don't know. You'll have to figure it out for yourselves.

Regardless, I went to get them . . . but when I got there, I ended up stopping dead in my tracks and staring with unfettered lust at this guy for about five minutes:


"Hi, I have some big, pesky dragons in my yard. Please come slay them. (JUST DON'T LOOK AT MY FEET!)"

WOOOO! I guess I just figured out what kind of guy I go for in SL. He got me all hot and bothered for a minute before I had to slap myself and say, "STOP THAT! HE'S NOT EVEN REAL!"

Plus, I don't really wanna think about why he was there to get some free tiny little fairy avies. :(

And then there were these two:

I have to hand it to them — they had the whole scaly, sexy thing down with the slinky AOs and everything. I was both terrified ("Please don't hurt me!") and fascinated and possibly even a little turned on. I really think they were just there looking for Petites to eat.

Oh how I love to people-watch at that place.

I don't really have a way to end this post, so let's just all sing this song together:

Caverna Obscura

Dress - Malt - Vintage Cotton Tunic in Pear
Shoes - Ingenue - Gatsby Heels in Chartreuse (previous Collabor88 item)
Hair - Truth - Dee w/Roots (NEW) in Burgundy (Rigged M*sh)
Skin - Belleza - Lily in Sunkissed (Christmas group gift)
Pose (top picture) - Label Motion


Owly Indigo said...

your last few posts have slayed me (like a dragon slayer, hubbax2), and this one got a loltear out of me *sends a big, goofy, awkward hug*

Emerald Wynn said...

Haha! I'm so glad. I wrote this post at 3 a.m. (3:14 a.m. to be exact!), halfway delirious from sleep deprivation.

I have some friends who are Petites. I hope they're still speaking to me today. :-\

M said...

LOL! Oh man Em, if that guy is your "type" then you need to go hang out in Avilion sometime. I can even get a mini avatar and pretend to be your fairy companion or something. xD

Emerald Wynn said...

NO! You're not laughing at that guy! I forbid it!

Hell yes, he's my type. I guess we can blame Disney for it.

Speaking of hanging out in Avilion, now that we have this whole Petites thing going on, when is somebody going to make GIANTS? Because that would be TOTALLY my thing.

(OK, that really had nothing to do with hanging out in Avilion.)

Uma said...

Dear emerald. I think I love you. And that guy was hawt. I am on my phone so.please ignore my lack of typing skills. I don't really get the petites thing. I mean I loved the blooom dolls but stompable sized fairies eh. Also I love that a cockeyed sort of way.

Moon said...

OMG hubba hubba. I gotta admit, in SL I go for that kind of guy too LOL.

Deoridhe said...

*shuns Em, flouncing around in her petite and shiny flowery clothing*