My life in bad pictures

I read my friend Meara's blog post about the challenge to blog every day during National Blog Posting Month (otherwise known as NaBloPoMo - what the HELL, why do we need another weird acronym in our lives -- have we really gotten THAT LAZY?).

I said I would do it.

But I can't.

OMG, I would lose every reader if I subjected people to this kind of long-ass rambling blog post every day. Especially today, when I'm just throwing out stuff that hasn't fit in other posts.

Like this random bloggage:

-- Lately I've been spending a lot of (RL) time on Facebook. All of my (now happily married, emotionally stable, gainfully employed) college and high school friends are there, as well as some SL friends who have transitioned into RL friends. Facebook has an SL app in beta called SecondLink for SL residents. I don't understand it. If my AV links to you in SecondLink on Facebook, are we also linked in real life on Facebook? In any case, I don't think the app is going over very well. I can't find anyone to try it with me.

HEY I'm talking to you, Su Lin!

(kidding)

Once upon a time, Su Lin and I vowed to get our real lives back. She succeeded. I failed miserably. **sniffs and waves from the other side of the border**

-- I wandered over to OpenLife to give it a shot and enjoy the fresh feeling of being a noob with bad hair in a foreign land again. But apparently OpenLife doesn't have a viewer for Mac yet. Or if they do, I can't find it. Damn.

-- Speaking of noobs, yeah I did the D-Hunt at Blockheadsville. Cool build, fun hunt, great prizes. 

And hey, even if they don't have prizes in them, you can still copy those noobs. 

And take them home. 

And put them in your yard:



HEY SEHRA, LOOKIT MY THANKSGIVING DINNER!

(EWWWW! That "Roadkill Noob" is really graphic if you zoom in. Yes I did! And how did this blog get so pointless?)

During that hunt, I glanced at this Wanted poster outside of a saloon there and realized that chick looked vaguely familiar:



I'm "Wanted"! But only worth $500 bucks?????

Wow, I need to update my profile pic. I haven't looked like that in a long time. 

I miss that face though. Ever since I accidently distorted my face to weird Jay Leno-ish proportions during a bad Ambien trip one night, I haven't been able to get my shape back to my much-adored (by me) original mod. It's always close but no cigar. I even bought the base shape from Laqroki ALL OVER AGAIN and tried to start from scratch.

Now I write my body dimensions down. If I ever get in a fatal car accident, my parents are going to wonder why there's a notebook by my bed with things like "Head Stretch - 76," "Love Handles = 27" and "Egg - 65" written in it. Or how about "Buoyancy - 23" and "Cleavage - 46"? (My mother will be so disappointed.) My cryptic Zyngo statistics are in there too. I'm working on a mathematical formula for Zyngo success at my favorite Zyngo hangout, Gamma Games! I'm gonna clean you and your Zyngo empire out one day, Ethen Rieko!

And now for a part of my blog that I like to call, "Cool AV, Man!"

"COOL AV, MAN!"

At the D-Hunt, I also ran into my friend Merrick, who is not usually the Banana Dance personified but happened to be running around like this:



Sorry your mouth never rezzed, Merrick, but cool AV, man!

I finally tried to TP out of that hunt and encountered one of those horrific TP borks where you can't reach your final destination and get dumped with an apologetic error message in a weird bizarro place:



MOTIONLESS WILD HORSES! WTF???? That is FRIGGIN' SKEERY!

Thank God it was daytime.

I maybe would rather be plunked down in the usual TP-error dumping ground, that Orientation Welcome Center (or whatever it's called), which can be just as scary.

AND FINALLY, I'd like to thank those of you who read my previous blog post and said, "Hey, if you think those boobs look big, check out the Hal*Hina skin boobs!"

So I did:



Hubba hubba, but hell no.

I look way too nice and happy. One friend said I'd look great as a Sailor Moon character in this skin. She also said, "You look so happy and cute -- I want to hug you!"

NOOOO! I don't hug! 

Well, sometimes I hug my friend Bon, but only when I have my Random Calliope Amandote! hugger on (it gives a gift of jewelry to whomever you hug) . . . and then I force him at gunpoint to give me back the jewelry. What? He's not gonna wear it! (See necklace in the Wanted poster above.)

Get your own free Amandote! Hugger HERE. Just in time for the holidays!

Anyway, if you like the boobalicious anime look, that Hal*Hina skin is called No. 5 in Cherry. Wait, that's not Cherry. . . . Maybe it's "Beige." Or "Natural." Bad blogger, bad!

Meanwhile, I'll go back to being an icy bad-ass bitch in Calypso in Diamond by oBscene (Halloween gift):



Love the beauty mark!

The End.

Thank you for the oBscene cleavage!

So, it's the day after the U.S. elections (in case you're living in a cave), and as a Republican, I am aching with the aftermath of Election Night alcohol and having to deal with some harsh realities. . . .

. . . mainly the fact that I will never be gangsta enough to wear this outfit I saw at Inimitably Designs:



But neither will you, Obama!

I kid. I love my country. Democracy is what makes our nation great. I didn't vote for Obama, but the people have spoken and he's our next President, so he's got my respect and my support. Seriously. It's invigorating to see our country so hopeful and excited. A little optimism goes a long way. So hail to the Chief!

Politics (and the relief that the election is over) aside, this blog post is really all about my current fascination with my SL BOOBS.

The fact that I am about to share provocative (ha ha) photos of my boobs in all their awesomeness -- or that I even care about their appearance, for that matter -- is a bit ironic, considering that I just popped over to Ali Chenaux's thought-provoking blog post "Class vs Trash" and confessed in a comment that I do not understand romantic SL relationships or the desire to be in one.

Shoot, maybe I'm an emotionally devoid sociopath.

Or maybe someone will come along someday and change my mind.

Anyway.

Once upon a time when I was a kid, I fell off my bike and broke my nose. I don't know why we didn't get it set properly. Now I'm in my 30s and my crooked nose bugs me. Earlier this year I talked to a few cosmetic surgeons about fixing it.

When I told my mother about my plastic surgery consultations, she said, "Honey, why don't you just get your boobs done instead? It's cheaper and then no one will look at your nose."

Ha ha ha, Mom. Funny.

I didn't fully understand her comment until I tried on some skins from [the oBscene].

[the oBscene] is one of the most generous skin designers I've yet to meet in SL. They give beautiful, frequent gifts to their group members as well as at their store openings.

Lately I've been running around in Ganesha in Diamond, a gift from their newest store opening on the Dolphins Archipel sim. (I just found out that gift was removed on Monday. Shoot -- sorry.)

To be honest, I prefer a softer face. The oBscene faces are a little tough for me. But my GOD, who cares about the face when the body shading is so damn gorgeous??:



(Hey, check out my aquarium and that glam girl pose stand from Aisuru Rieko!)

OK, maybe that wasn't showing enough skin, but I really like that Audrey Red corset lingerie from ALB Dream Fashion. Also, the Virgin Mary looking down over my bed might kill the mood a little, not to mention my frequent and bizarre urge to pose near my $24L yard sale aquarium.



It just occurred to me that the chaotic setting of my Mudshake couch probably is not the best backdrop to showcase that really pretty Sarasota lingerie from the Malice line at Beauty Avatar. Oops. I really need to sort my inventory, particularly my "Poses" folder.

Hey, I never promised you a Victoria's Secret catalog.

For the record, I didn't touch my modestly-sized boob slider for these photos -- yet they look SO DAMN LOVELY AND ROUND!

(Laugh -- can you tell I'm a wispy stick figure in real life?)



"The bunny and I are lonely."

(The set is called Venise Guepiere by Carnal. And wow, I have a lot of lingerie that's pretty much going to waste.)

So, speaking of body highlighting, sometimes when I'm bored, I like to wander around obscure shopping centers and find obscure stores.

For all you body oil enthusiasts, you might be excited to learn about Nyoko's Wears BodyOils and Tanlines.



WOW!

Please note, gentlemen, that there are also products just for you.

And holy moley, Body Oil 2 Super even provides "coverage to your fingertips and toes"!

Look, I'm not completely mocking here. I realize there's a market for this stuff. Nyoko is fulfilling a need here. Smart business.

However, Nyoko must have had some bad experiences with customers, because when you make a purchase at her (his?) kiosk, you get a notecard that says,

-------------------

"READ THIS NOTECARD FOR COMPLETE INFO! I am very sorry, BUT...
If you call asking a question already answered in this notecard, I will not reply!!

I WILL MUTE AND BAN ANYONE WHO:
- tries to 'friend' me unbidden!
- tries to teleport me unbidden!
- is causing a nuisance in my homes and shops!
- demands return or exchange service for copiable/no-transfer items!
- IMs and 'fishes' for conversation; get straight to the point if you have a problem or request!
- is begging, conning, abusive, or just plain insensibly angry!"
--------------------

For GOD'S SAKE, do not try to friend or teleport Nyoko unbidden! And take your insensible anger somewhere else! Plus, causing a nuisance in Nyoko's stores is bad enough -- do not cause a nuisance in Nyoko's homes!

(Nyoko gets my award for "Excellent Use of Exclamation Points in Customer Communication.")

And hell yes, I made a purchase. I was delighted to see something I had never seen before: BODY GLITTER!

Woop woop!!!

**Runs over to the What the Fug? blog in nothing but body glitter and a pair of giant orange boots and rolls around all over the page**

It looks like winter's first snowfall on a REALLY BEAUTIFUL HILLY LANDSCAPE:



Just in time for the holidays!

(Hey Sehra, forget about real Christmas decorations. I'm just gonna put a GIANT PHOTO of my SPARKLY, SNOW-DUSTED BOOBS on top of my house!)

And I swear my boob slider is only at 56 -- that is such an optical illusion! Thank you, [oBscene]! 

I'm gonna get out my RL bronzer and highlighter and mess around with my real ones later.

Gotta go -- ANTM is on!

Ta ta! (pardon the pun)

Random Bloggage

Hey, I'm working on a blog post that's much better than this one.

My apologies for my previous emotional blog post -- the one I deleted but apparently is still on Google readers. (Great.) Yeah, I was hungry when I wrote it, but no, obviously I'm not starving to death. (That's what credit cards are for!) We can all stop making food jokes now. I realize it was over the top. 

Hormones + anxiety + keyboard = disaster.

But NO, I won't be attending this week's food-themed Hump Day Party, BTW. I'm embarrassed enough as it is. :-\

And if you have no idea what I'm talking about right now, good.

Anyhoo.

I don't have a lot going on in my Second Life right now. Ever since I upgraded my Mac OS to whatever the hell "big cat" we're on now (Panther, Jaguar, Snow Leopard?), I've been crashing in SL every five minutes.

When I'm not crashing, I'm still "nesting" -- unfortunately just with myself, not another person. I got my big empty house decorated and then realized it didn't look like me at all. It looked like I cracked the whole thing out of a box, which I basically did.

So I'm still screwing around with my home decor.

Fortunately I read this blog post over on Shopping Cart Disco and moseyed over to Mudshake to check the place out for myself.

(What is it with home furnishing stores with names that start with "mud"?)

I fell in love with Mudshake. Now see, THAT place is me. Funky (in a good way), slightly bipolar, eclectic, goofy and a little bit strange (in a good way?).

So now my living room looks like this:



Hell yeah. Much better. If you feel so inclined, scrolllllll down to the post below this one to see what it looked like before. (yawn.)

God help me when my landlady checks my prim counts though. :(

After I gave my living room a shot of Vitamin B, courtesy of Mudshake, I got a hankering to get my hands on some WILD and CRAZAY hair. So I went to Sinsation, which is one of the first places I go when I want to evoke a "What the *bleep* is up with that hair?" reaction.

Now it's time for a part of my blog that I like to call, "Bitch, put a shirt on!"

"BITCH, PUT A SHIRT ON!"



Yep, I saw this honey there and NO, those are not real pasties. Those nipple-blockers are courtesy of my amazing Photoshop skills, partly because this is a family blog, but also because I know Photobucket all too well. They deleted my previous photo of a cartoon elephant jock strap from Wally's Wackies. They will totally delete nipple shots.

I couldn't believe this chick was wandering around with everything hanging out like that, but I must say I was impressed by the way her outfit perfectly matched the store.

The sign behind her says, "No Transfer. No Refunds. No Exchanges. No Exceptions." Unfortunately it does not say, "No Shoes, No Shirt, No Service."

Once I got over the nipple shock, I bought this new release called Koi:



(Hey, check out my fish tank!)

You can change the color of that hair yarn, BTW.

When my friend Sai saw it, she said, "What the *bleep* is up with that hair?"

Victory!

Hey, that shirt is also from Mudshake. Yes! -- They have some groovy little outfits there too. I'll admit that when I bought this shirt, I didn't realize it was so short. Then I put it on, sighed and said "what the hell."

At least it covers my nips.

I didn't buy this shirt for the front. I bought it for the back:



Yes, I am available for modeling.

I got home to discover that once again my next-door neighbor Sehra is outshining me (*cough*) in the holiday decoration department.



BLINDED . . . BY . . . YOUR . . . DRUMSTICKS!

(I think those giant carrots are a really nice touch.)

I can't top that, pardon the pun. I'm not even gonna try. Maybe next month it'll be ON though, Sehra! My army of snowmen will beat any big-ass blingy thing you can stick on your roof, including the Jolly Old Elf himself, not to mention all his damn reindeer!

So BRING IT, SEHRA! BRING IT!

Laugh.

(Sehra knows I love her.)

Until then, I'll just chill in my Pez-colored crib.



(Hey, check out my porch swing!)

It all started with a bed

Sorry these posts are sparse these days.

I am still laden with real-life woes.

This post was inspired by a bed.

A free bed, to be exact.

Yes, Prad! It was free! **GASP!!!!!!**

Kidding. Prad knows I'm a fangirl of his.

Many of you have probably read Prad Prathivi's "I Can Haz Freebiez" blog post by now. It caused a bit of a brouhaha. (Actually, I just wanted to say "brouhaha.")

I thought Prad made some valid points in his post about SL freebies; HOWEVER, I do believe we all missed the most crucial issue of all when we read that post:

WHO THE HELL STARTED THE RUMOR THAT CATS CAN'T SPELL OR USE CORRECT GRAMMAR?

I'm not even a Neko, but on behalf of cats everywhere, I'm asking all you LOLCat people to QUIT IT!



"I CAN HAZ MACHINE GUN?"

Oh yikes, and almost everything in that photo right there is FREE! 

**ducks and hides from Prad's scorn**

Those ears are Kitteh Earz from Sn@tch. The shirt is Sexy Back in Black from Meh. Why is the shirt called Sexy Back? I'm not gonna tell you. I'm gonna SHOW you:



Ohhhh yeah, baby! (Hey, check out my new aquarium!)

Shoot, I need to pump up my booty slider a little.

Anyhoo, I got both of those things on the gridwide Vain Inc. Ghostbusters Hunt. And if you don't know what I'm talking about, you really need to get out of the house and get your spook on a little more. The hunt runs through Halloween, I think. You still have time. Go, go, go . . . HERE to look for the first ghost. (Don't worry -- it's big.) Open it, get a gift and use the landmark in it to TP to the location of the next ghost. And so on and so on and scooby dooby dooby . . . 113 times to be exact. 

WOO! The loot you'll get!

THANK YOU, Ghostbusters Hunt contributors! I ROCK now because of you!

(Although sorry, but I would like to lovingly slap the owner of Lookr with a big foam hand for forcing me to cam in ways I have never cammed before.)

Speaking of hunts, the hair is Cyberpunk in Black, from The Stringer Mausoleum ghost hunt -- another hunt that's totally worth your time and energy if you like funky hair and fun stuff. Pink ghosts for girls. Blue for guys. I likey. It runs through Nov. 1. Get started and get the details here.

And that skin is called Halloween Special 08 in Light from the Deviant Kitties pumpkin hunt. I don't know if that hunt's still going on or not. I was too busy scoping for pumpkins the size of walnuts to read the details.

OK, so, as usual, it's taken me a while to get to the point of this blog post, but here it is:

I moved recently in SL and that was a HUGE DAMN DEAL for me because I was somewhat attached to my cozy little beach shack, courtesy of Faith Homes. 

However, I am much more attached to my friends, and some of them are living over on Alicia Chenaux's Bluebonnet Island. Since she happened to have a house available for rent, I decided to snag it. 

Now we are a big happy family over there. In fact, I think she should rename that sim "The Island of Hot Chicks." 

I'm not being conceited. I'm being CONFIDENT and, as such, mentally healthy.

She has some space available, I think. You should holla at her if you want to join our nonstop party.

LOOKIT MY NEW HOUSE:



Nice, huh? I got that tree in the Passionate Nekos booth at the Costume Fair for UNICEF. It has poses in it. It costs $200L in case you want your own. And yes, I'm taking it down in a few days. It's taking up 1/6 of my prim allowance.

I needed some kind of Halloweenish decor because my next-door neighbor and dear friend Sehra's house is PIMPED THE HELL OUT:



KENNY! Turn off your Roasters sign! 

(Some of you probably won't get that reference.)

Talk about keeping up with the Joneses. Just WAIT until Christmas though!

Anyway, this is the first time I've rented an empty house. Usually I go for furnished. So THANK GAWD I also got this ROCKIN' free Intimate Bed No. 5 from Instinct on that aforementioned Ghostbusters Hunt:



(Fuzzy the Bunny is so damn happy to be in a spacious house, BTW. And I'm an idiot who didn't realize I've been running around with a tank top on under that Sexy Back shirt. Not so sexy. Oops.)

OK.

So.

I had a bed. I just needed more stuff. So yep, I designed the whole house around that bed. The bed is worth it. The bed is inspirational. And yep, in case you're wondering, it IS designed for intimate moments. Not that I've taken it for a test drive yet or anything. I am, however, accepting applications.

So then I bought this living room set at Mudhoney. I like you, Mudhoney. You are OK in my book:



Actually that's a mash-up of two different living room sets. I couldn't decide, so I bought them both. And for those of you who are wondering why I didn't return the generosity and spend my lindens at Instinct, I tried. It was laggy and impossible. I'll go back though. I promise.

Then I wanted a splash of color, so I added this aquarium and a coincidentally perfectly matched painting:



But then that green started blinding me, so I took that stuff away.

So I don't know why I just felt the urge to show you that badly cropped photo.

(Maybe I just wanted to make this blog EVEN LONGER than it already is!)

I got another aquarium -- the one in that picture way the hell up at the top of this blog. I wanted an aquarium instead of a television -- you know, feng shui, getting back to nature and the joy of watching trapped little fish and all that.

Now I can sit on my (free) fake kitteh tail on my fake couch and stare contemplatively at my fake fish for as long as my fake heart desires.

And now it's time for a part of my blog that I like to call:

RANDOM-ASS STRANGERS WHO TURN OUT TO BE DAMN COOL

I was in Sn@tch the other day and I saw this chick, who blew me away with her awesome skin:



Her name is Malign Magic, and YES my photography skillz suck 99 percent of the time -- and the above picture falls in the sucky percentage. 

Anyway, I said, "HAY, where'd you get that skin?" and Malign told me that she made her Clown Stitches skin herself.

Damn.

Then imagine my delight when she gave me one:



RAWWWWWWK!

I'm clothed so this photo isn't even doing it justice. But you don't get to see me naked on the first date.

Those are steampunk goggles on my head, BTW. They come with that TSM Cyberpunk hair. But you don't have to wear them if goggles aren't your thing.

Hey, I'm a creepy, stitched-up clown now and I'm watching you:



Those eyes are the new Stoned Eyes in Turquoise at EarthStones. 

Hey Prad, they're free!!!!

(I keed, I keed. Prad's a tough guy. He can take a little jesting from a creepy clown.)

The End (finally!)

Woman of Few Words

Sorry I've been quiet lately. I am laden with real-life woes.

Here's a little game I like to play called "Yes and No":

YES:



The Reaping hair by Sinsation, bought at Hair Fair.

Hey, that skin is FREE from [the obsceNe] Update Group, BTW. It's called Baku. A baku is a Japanese mythological creature that eats nightmares. I collect them in RL. I wish one would eat my whole life right now. So anyhoo, I was DAMN DELIGHTED to learn that someone named a skin after them. 

It's hard finding [the oBscene] Update Group in SL's oh-so-friggin'-sophisticated Search engine. Grab it from my profile -- QUICK! -- before I get CRAAAAZAY and start screwing around with my groups again. They change every other day. I ration my meager group allowance thoughtfully and often.

NO:



Voodoo hair by House of Heart: Been there, seen it, worn it. 

**shakes head with deja vu**

But if you want this hair, it's free. Look for it near the pumpkin display.

I realize that I haven't changed clothes in days. Shut up.

YES:



Biddle Boots in Electric Pink. Do I want them? Yes. Can I afford them right now? No. So I stuck a bunch of knives in my head in a fit of shoe agony. (Hair: The Assassin by The Stringer Mausoleum)

OK, and drumroll please because I'm probably going to be the only one you know who will say this publicly but . . . .

NO!!!!!:



Maitreya's new Billow Boots. Is everybody KIDDING ME with these? What 1981 episode of "Buck Rogers in the 25th Century" did you GET THESE BOOTS from???

(Hell yes, I watched every episode of that show and hell yes, I ended that last sentence with a preposition. I make no apologies.)

And here's a little game I like to play called, "Bitch, put some pants on!"

BITCH, PUT SOME PANTS ON!



This photo sucked too much for me to officially submit it to What the Fug?

Yeeeeeah, they're leggings or stockings or something but they still look . . . off. I could see way too much, um, detail. I just don't want to see the division of your butt cheeks during my shopping excursions. Sorry.

And actually I think she's wearing those Billow Boots too! I'm not one to really talk about shapes since I'm currently sporting "bony stick figure," but honest to gawd, they look like Cankle-City Chunk Calves! With holes in the back!

**Emerald slaps a "bitch" label on her forehead and wanders off in search of a chill pill**

Hope blooms in the Garden for the Missing (redux, updated)

(This is a repost -- with updates -- from my previous blog [you know, the one I smashed with a wrecking ball]. The cause means a lot to me, so I wanted to post this info again. Thanks to the lovely and talented Asha Brim for helping me find the original material.)

My friend CeN recently introduced me to a place called Garden for the Missing. Since I'm only seven months old here I was previously unaware that such a place existed in SL, but then again, SL never ceases to surprise me.

The Garden for the Missing features 170 posters of missing adults and children throughout a three-story greenhouse garden, which includes outdoor areas, a beach playground and places to sit and reflect.

All posters are clickable for more extensive background info on each case. There's a New Cases section to keep the garden current, as well as donation kiosks throughout. Each floor of the garden is decorated in a distinct theme.

SL resident Ronnie Rhode opened the garden in September 2007 and updates it with new cases frequently. As I learned when working on this blog post, she's happy to answer any questions if you IM her. She covers land costs with the donations she receives at the garden as well as with all profits from her stunning home decor store, Bright & Shiny Moving Art. 

Here's an example of some of the striking pieces at Bright & Shiny. Many of the works include the added sensory experience of subtle motion in the design:

Rhode also supports the SL Project Jason center, named after Jason Jolkowski -- who disappeared at age 19 in 2001 from Omaha, Neb. -- and the RL nonprofit organization Project Jason, which aims to support the families of the missing.

You'll find Ronnie's dedication to this project also reflected in the Jason's Angels section of her Bright & Shiny store, which includes angelic pieces such as this Jason's Angels Gold Star Angel Fountain. Again, all sales proceeds go to these nonprofit causes:

There are angels to fit every budget (I bought some smaller versions of the fountain) and most pieces have reasonable prim counts. You can also pick up $99L Jason's Angels necklaces in gold or silver in the store:

(BTW, sorry for this quick digression but I'm wearing the BP* Update Group's latest free gift . . . PRIM LIPGLOSS! . . . in that pic. It's like body oil for lips! Whaddya think? Fug or not fug? That group is tricky to find in Search but if you want your own free lipgloss, search for "BP* Update Group" verbatim in Groups -- or just steal the info from my groups in my profile. Yes, I'm giving you free rein to pillage my profile. If you read my blog, you deserve it.)

Anyway, after my initial visit to the Garden for the Missing with CeN, I've returned there on my own a couple of times. It's one of those places that you can't really absorb in just one visit.

During my last visit, I was shocked to see a poster for a kid I knew as a child, Johnny Gosch:



Johnny Gosch vanished at age 12 in 1982 from my grandparents' neighborhood in Des Moines, Iowa, while he was on his daily paper route. He was older than I was and I only knew him vaguely through family, but when this tragedy happened it was shocking, obviously. And as time stretched on and police were unable to locate him, the situation became increasingly sickening. It was the first time the dangers of being kidnapped became a reality for me as a child.

Even now, his mother is still searching for him -- I believe he would be 39 years old today.

When I saw his poster in the Garden for the Missing, my stomach dropped all over again. I can't imagine anything more horrible than going to sleep every night without knowing where your child is. I don't know how I would breathe.

Kudos to Ronnie for her hard work in keeping these cases alive and in the public eye. I encourage you to visit, drop her a few lindens if you can spare them and share the location with your friends. 

As the Garden's welcome note says, "The more people who see the garden, the greater the chance that some family will finally get some answers."

Junkyard junkie (or, Get that Unicorn Outta Here!)

(Frankly I'm just slapping something down here to mooooooove my Republican blog down the front page and eventually off it.)

It started with a quest for Last Call.

I had heard rumors about how fantastic the clothes were. I had won a few outfits at a charity auction. I got a taste . . . and I wanted more.

So I started hitting the yard sales.

I never know when a new SL resident will be reading this blog and not understanding stuff, so let me quickly break it down: In Search, go to the Classifieds tab. Search "yard sale." Bingo! Have fun. 

I'm not going to tell you to search "Last Call" in the Places tab because I don't want you to find my favorite Last Call resale shops.

Oops.

Once I started going to yard sales, I sort of forgot about Last Call. Instead, I got FASCINATED with all the junk there! Soooo much stuff for sooooo few lindens! WOOOOO!

Take this yard-sale unicorn, for instance:



Yeah, that's me wearing the free Halloween afro group gift from Mayamaya Creations. And NO! You don't get to blog about it, What the Fug? bloggers! You got me once this week. No more exploiting my holiday cheer for the delight of all your bad-fashion-junkie blog readers, myself included. 

Those Black Kitty Platforms with Color-Change Eyes are from She's So Unusual Shoes. The top is from somewhere. Sorry, I'm spacing on the store. What counts is that it's orange.

Anyhoo, I saw this yard sale unicorn sitting calmly in the middle of a bunch of junk and I felt really, really sorry for it. It was destined for greater things, not a life lying amid used sexual pose balls and weathered bondage gear.

So I bought it. Never mind that it has about 900 prims and will never, ever fit in anyone's prim allowance. At least it lives safe and sound in my inventory now, right next to This. Big. Ass. Hello. Kitty. Balloon:



Yes, I bought that too. Never mind that my friend Laleeta gave me a perfectly awesome (and better) balloon that she made with her own hands. I wanted this one too. Surprisingly, I screwed around with it in my yard for a while and never got one "litter" complaint from my landlady. (If you didn't read the post before this one, you didn't get that reference.)

I did, however, refrain from buying this penguin living room set:



. . . and this fishy seating arrangement:



But my obsession with yard sales continues. I doubt it will die for a while. I find it soothing to sort through junk while I wait for my evening dose of Ambien to kick in.

Speaking of surreal stuff, look at this trippy picture I accidently took of me and my friends Laleeta (l) and Ali (r) in a weird rainy alley somewhere in Japan:



Eat your heart out, Prad Prathivi. The composition and the lighting is stunning, if I do say so myself. So sure, Prad, I'm more than happy to be your backup if you ever have to bail on one of your Photo Institute photography lectures. 

I'll even bring the unicorn.

(I like the way I just assume that Prad is reading this crap.)

I don't really have much else to say, except that I got in a public smackdown with this chick today --



-- over some goofy camp chair pumpkin hair at ::69::. And you know what? I feel really sick about it. I got caught up in a Mike Tyson moment and got carried away. It's not my style to get into public fights, especially over hair. Especially over HALLOWEEN hair. I feel ashamed of myself. Causing a scene, picking on . . . Ed McMahon in a sweater dress, dragging friends into it, all of it. Not classy. Unforgivable. What would Audrey Hepburn think?

I'm sorry, Universe.

I'm sorry, Ed.

I'm sorry, Audrey.

And now, for another installation of A Shout-Out to a Designer Who Is Damn Cool.

I usually avoid those hunts where we all run around and search for several individual pieces of ONE damn outfit. I suck at hunts in the first place, so there's a 99 percent chance that when the sun sets and this type of hunt is over, I'll be running around without a sleeve or a shoe.

Somehow, however, I got caught up in the Manhattan Sophisticate outfit hunt the other day at Prim & Pixel Paradise. The mission: Find 15 golden apples to assemble one striking outfit.

I found 13.

I thought maybe I could wear the outfit anyway . . . but I was missing the shoe shape and, um, a cuff or a collar or something.

The clock was ticking and in desperation, I called out to designer Mairead Fitzgerald for a hint, just a tiny hint, Mairead, PLEEEEASE! I need Apples #5 and #12!

Imagine my delight when she dropped the apples in my inventory! "Aw! Forget the hints, just take the apples," she said.

Thank you, MAIREAD FITZGERALD!! That was Damn Cool of you! You complete me!

Thanks to Mairead, I'm now stunning and sophisticated. I have to say that everything from the jewelry to the shoes is just gorgeous in this ensemble. (And the fashion writers scream in jealous agony at my fashion-writing skills.)



That photo was shot in Emerald's Rented Beach House No. 1. 

The "I'm cool - get the hell away from my outfit" pose is courtesy of Trin Trevellion's new Play AO from sinDecade. You may notice that I give Trin a lot of love in this blog. It's because she shocked the hell out of me once by being humorous and good-natured the ONE TIME a long time ago when I accidently dissed one of her sinDecade skins. I didn't diss the SKIN . . . I dissed the way it looked on ME, but still. She laughed -- probably AT me, but it felt like she was laughing WITH me, so now she's my hero. It's also why she now sends me sneak preview skins before they hit the shelves.

(Kidding, she doesn't do that.)

My boobs are abnormally pumped up in that pic, BTW, because I had just changed out of a beach party bikini. Hey, if they're gonna be out there, they might as well be OUT THERE, if you know what I mean. (Emerald longs for a RL boob-slider.)

And unfortunately I still have that "I just bitch-slapped Ed McMahon and am ready to do it again" look on my face too.

Sigh.

Hey, the drugs are really kicking in, if you haven't been able to tell yet, so I'm gonna wrap up this post with another shout-out (shot, shot, shot!) to a reader I met in world the other day, Kareem Glas. 

Hi Kareem! Hope the skybox decorating is going well! Holler if you want to go yard-sale hopping! Thanks for reading my blog!

The End

The politics of dancing

Contrary to the title, this post has nothing to do with dancing, actually.

But I was worried no one would read it if I called it "Don't hate me because I'm a Republican!"

**ducks as rotten tomatoes fly**

I was all set to write an enriching and educational blog post about how to get involved in SL with your U.S. political party of choice, but I decided, HEY! You're all grownups! (Or at least you're supposed to be.) You're perfectly capable of searching for 'Republican' or 'Democrat' in Places in the Search engine and finding your SL party headquarters if you feel so inclined.

You don't need me to throw a list of SLurls at you.

But if you need help, IM me in world and I'll point you in a direction. (That's me! Always willing to help.)

I WILL say that from the brief research I've done, it looks like the Democrats are having a helluva lot more fun than the Republicans in SL. Sigh.

Speaking of politics, I want to give a shout-out to a sometimes reader and a favorite blogger of mine, The SL Diva Ms. Elizabeth Hallstrom, who AS WE SPEAK, is posing in a Barack Obama T-shirt over on her fantastic blog.

So see, we can all still be friends!

**runs to check to see if Elizabeth is still on my friends list**

Here's me in my shirt of choice. She looks way better in hers. Sigh. Then again, I'm just a wannabe diva. Plus, she has a cute face, and I always manage to effortlessly look like a spaced-out robot with a cold:



(Yep, that's my sultry red-and-gold beach house SexGen bed behind me -- the one I never use.)

If you checked out Elizabeth's blog, you saw that even her T-shirt is more hip. At least I'm striking a pose, thanks to sinDecade's new Play AO, which rocks, BTW. Love the stands, love the walks, love the sits, love the handstands, love the dolphin swim, etc. Best thing I've bought in a month.

As for the skin I'm in, I got that Love Me Tender skin in Ivory for $5L at Domestic-V. (ALL of them are $5L! Run!!!) I have mixed feelings about it. All my skins seem to make me look like I have a bad cocaine habit these days . . . not that I would, um, know what that looks like.

The hair is Kinka in Black from Diversity Hair.

Anyhoo, politics aside, I had big plans for this post. I was gonna discuss my sudden obsession with yard sales and give some more shout-outs, not to mention use the word "shout-out" a few more times, if only so you could turn this post into your own private drinking game.

But as always the inner voice said, "Edit, Emerald, Edit!"

So I did.

I'll stick to politics. BUT NOT SO MUCH THAT IT WILL DIVIDE US AND CAUSE A BIG BROUHAHA!

(Wow, my spellcheck actually didn't even bat an eyelash at "brouhaha"!)

If you know me well, you know that to me the inventory is all about COLLECTIBLES! Invest, my friends, invest! Capture your special SL moments in time with limited editions and commemorative freebies!

Even if you don't want to parade around in them, grab a couple of political T-shirts for the hell of it. That way, when your slightly annoying talking fetuses pop out and eventually become your SL grandchildren, you can rock back and forth in your pixelated rocking chair and hand them an [Insert Political Party Here] T-shirt and say, "I remember this election!"

A good place to start is at the aptly named Free 2008 Election Swag store at The Shoppes at JGoode Designs.

The swag store is bipartisan. You'll find it neatly divided down the middle and full of a PLETHORA of free T-shirts for each party:



And if that's not good enough, next to it is the PENGUINALITY STORE!!!!



Hell no, it has nothing to do with politics, and hell yes, my spellcheck hates the word Penguinality. But damn, I was amused that there's a whole store out there devoted to penguins! I didn't grab the LM for it -- just TP to Free 2008 Election Swag and you can't miss it.

Speaking of can't miss, I can't remember if I got this McCain/Palin yard sign (below) at the Swag Store or at the SL Republican Party Headquarters. 

As you can see, the neighbors were not happy about it. Look closely and you'll see that one chick in this pic even has A GUN! I cammed out and snapped this shot when I heard these lovely ladies out there bitching about it.

Tonight my landlady returned it to my inventory. I happened to be there when she did it. The conversation went a little something like this:

Me: Hi! Is there a problem with my sign?
LL: Hon, if you read the notes that came with your rental, you'll see there is a 'no litter' policy here.
Me: Would it be considered litter if it were an Obama sign?
LL: Hon, rules are rules. I'll let you keep the pretty pumpkin out though.

Of course you will.

(While you're at it, could you get rid of the tacky renter "INFO" box that kills the whole "beachy" ambiance out there too? And never call me "hon" again?)

(I hate, hate, hate it when strangers call me "hon" in SL -- do they not understand how condescending it sounds? . . . or is that the whole point?)

She continued to explain that she was concerned that my sign would make people think the whole sim was voting for McCain. Hey, not my fault that no one else is utilizing their RENTED YARD PLOTS around their homes to express political pride!

It IS her land though, so I guess I'll stop bitching about it. In a fit of huffy, I did go run and rent another house on another island though. Both of them are now paid a month in advance. I guess I have two homes now . . . one for love and one for work. Laugh. Right. Like I have either.

Forget the pettiness. The important thing, kiddies, is that you get out there and get cra-zaay in that ballot box on Nov. 4 if you live in the good old U S of A. I'm not going to tell you how to vote; I'm just going to tell you TO vote: VOTE!

OK, so I'd like to wrap up this rather pointless post with a hopefully regular feature: A Shout-Out to a Designer who is Damn Cool. (That's right, drinking-gamers! Do another "shout-out" shot!!)

I went to Vanity Body yesterday to pick up a surprisingly beautiful free witch skin. I say "surprisingly" because you'd expect a green witch to be ugly. Not so with this one! I snagged it, put it on and stared at myself in awed fascination with my witchy beauty.

Creator Mina Spicer happened to be in the store and gave me a hat and a broom to go with it. Thank you, Mina! That was Damn Cool of you!



Granted, I forgot to put on hair for this pose and it's not the most ladylike position, but the hat is floppy and the broom says things to me when I'm on it. (Not that. Get your minds out of the gutter!)

Jeans by Zaara. T-shirt by Callie Cline. Shoes: Android Ballerina Ballet Flats by Bliensen + MaiTai.

Thanks for reading. Maybe tomorrow I'll give some more shout-outs to readers and designers and talk about my obsession with old yard-sale junk. (And no, do not insert your McCain jokes here.)

Love, Em

Keep it real, celebrate lunacy and hold on to your heart

During the past few days, I've had three -- count 'em, THREE -- friends in crisis because they all found out that the men in their SL relationships actually were "happily" married family men in real life.

They were men with no intention of ever leaving their wives. They were men who were just using SL to create fantasy relationships with no bills to pay, no "routine" sex, no demanding kids, no leaky faucets or anything else that real couples struggle with.

My friends were crushed. Some were in tears. One canceled her SL account. (Over a man??? What? Are you kidding me? They're not worth it! No offense, men.)

As such, I was all set to RANT THE HELL out of this topic. Ladies: Be careful. Men: JUST QUIT IT! (And yes, I realize the genders in this scenario could easily be swapped.)

Fortunately for you I'm too tired. I'd rather keep this post light, particularly since I'm currently trying to perform CPR on this blog.

Instead, you're just going have to settle for bad photojournalism.

I've tried really hard to step outside my comfort zone during this past week:

1. I took a bath in chocolate -- a longtime RL fantasy of mine -- at Eshi Otawara's Chambre du Chocolat:

(Hey, I never promised you great photos.)

I didn't care if her store was full of people gaping at her new Hibiscus Dream gown.

(Yes, it's a work of stunning fashion art, but how do we WALK in it without taking out everyone in the room??? I felt the same way about the Fishhook Gown. Girl, ouch!!!!)

2. I participated in the SHEER MADNESS that was the ongoing lucky chair "stalk party" at Rockberry. I will say that these women were not as lighthearted and carefree as some of the other people I meet at lucky chairs. These women are on a mission, SO FOR GOD'S SAKE, DO NOT SPEAK TO THEM!!!



Note the numbers on some of the lucky boards. What the hell? I knew I should have picked a name that started with 4.

That picture does not even begin to capture the masses of people who were there. To her credit, owner Heather Beebe often hung out there herself and mingled with the masses. And yes, I spent way too much time being part of the masses.

(Hey Heather, I'm still trying to win that freckly skin -- the chick with the long hair and the bangs swept to the side, not the one on the board. Would, um, a bunch of lindens count as a "win" for you?)

Oh no, you did not just see (read) my attempt to bribe Heather!!

3. I got my hands on some Guinness Book of World Records-breaking "eye sparkles" (thank you, Ali!):



Ha haaaa! Kidding. Like many people, I get annoyed by flashing shoes, jewelry, belly buttons, private parts and anything else that looks like a walking laser-light show. I'm worried that they'll induce a seizure. I don't have epilepsy, but what if I do and I don't know it??? I don't want some blinged-out chick to be the one to open my bling-blinded eyes to a new medical challenge.

That Nastassja dress, BTW, is from the now-closed and much-mourned Last Call. The "I had a wild night out on the town and broke my favorite pearl necklace" is really called Broken Long Strand Black Pearl Necklace (also available in white) at Caroline's Jewelry.

4. I went to a great Rat Pack show at Dean's Vegas Club. I'd never been there and it's not my usual type of hangout, but my friend Bella was performing and I wanted to show her some audience love:



That's her in the slinky blue dress. Shake it, Bella! Woooo!

The club is a classy joint. People are pretty glammed-up there. I saw a lot of impressive gowns. I also caught a glimpse of this tummy-baring Tinkerbell ball gown:



WOW! That's a little too much Tinkerbell for me. Sorry I couldn't cam in closer. We're not in Disneyland anymore, Toto! I don't think she got the memo. Props to her for giving it a shot though. I'm too lazy to even change my shoes, let alone change into a gown of this . . . magnitude.

5. I went to a party!!! (laugh) I'm not that great at parties these days, so as a rule I avoid them. I did, however, crawl out of my hermit crab shell for a recent get-together with a few friends. It was exciting because I got to see my friend CeN dressed like a potted flower for a while, which also has been a longtime fantasy of mine:



That's HAWT, CeN!

Later, we pulled ourselves together for a group photo which started out fine:



But then somehow evolved into this:



And then further evolved into a Box Bot "flash mob" at the Glamour Expo at Vanity Universe (runs through Oct. 25 -- do check it out). You can all find this, um, AV in your system folder, BTW. It's one of the exciting built-in options for new residents and yet another reason to feel bad for them and help them whenever we can.



I couldn't get everyone in this bad pic -- a few of them were shopping. Bad little Box Bots, bad! In our defense, we picked a time when the expo was not that crowded. (3 a.m. MST in the States, to be exact)

6. Hey, it's finally October (my favorite month) and I've decided to try to wear a Halloween-oriented outfit every day:



I took it easy for Day 1 of this wardrobe experiment. This cute hair is called Wish Hair by katat0nik. (Hey katat0nik, where's my group invite? I spent a fortune at your store yesterday!!) It comes with that cute little witch hat and includes little stars sprinkled in the hair -- which you cannot see in my crappy photo. The hair, stars, hat ribbon, headband and hat lace are all tintable.

The goth Hello Kitty shirt is a freebie at Blue Blood. The jeans are the new Zaara jeans in charcoal (jeweled version). And YES, those are Stiletto Moody Tall Boots in Black Patent. Leave me alone. I'm not showing off. My shoe folder in my inventory is a jumbled mess, so my SM shoes are the only ones I can count on right now.

Anyhoo . . . 

Maybe this was a random blog but it all ties to my original point: Second Life is a place for fun, for friends, for new experiences, for creativity and for SHOPPING! (kidding, sort of) 

But I recently watched a BBC documentary on how relationships in SL can ruin real-life relationships . . . and vice versa. Firsthand, I've seen a lot of my friends get hurt during the past couple of months. So be careful who you give your heart to -- you have no idea who's really on the other end of your broadband connection.

If you're interested in watching the BBC show, you can watch it in four parts on YouTube at the links below. It's pretty balanced, as it profiles two people who met each other on SL, then took the leap and met and married in RL; and an RL marriage that's falling apart because the wife is obsessed with her SL romance.

Part One (it's a link! Click it!)

Part Two

Part Three

Part Four

Have fun, seek joy, try new things, celebrate your friendships . . . and treat your heart like the precious commodity it is. Someone wants it? Take your time and make 'em earn it. :)