Emerald needs a hug. Or a slap. Or both.

I'm in a yucky mood. It's one of those moods that teeters between wanting to burst into gut-wrenching tears or wanting to walk outside and scream at the top of my lungs until I can't scream anymore.

My first draft of this blog got into all the gory details of my yucky mood, but then I read back over it and thought, "Who cares?" Needless to say it involves a man — a real flesh-and-blood man, not an AV. We've only been dating for a little while, but I'm pretty smitten. Unfortunately, I'm getting the vibe that we're not operating on the same level of smit. And yeah, I know that's not a word. But I like it.

Then to top it all off, last week, my RL contract work got canceled due to my client's financial woes, so I had to wave goodbye to $1,000 that I SO DESPERATELY needed.

But HEY I didn't come here for (too much) RL whining. Or condolences and/or advice, please. I couldn't bear it right now.

So anyway, I haven't been spending a lot of time in SL lately because I've been concentrating on RL survival and building yet another fortress around my cowering heart. I log on once or twice a day to check my chickens and plod through a few stops in hunts that I doubt I'll finish in time, but that's about it.

I hope to snap out of it soon. I have a modeling job at SySy's that I love and I don't want to blow it. Not to mention friends that I care about. Actually I should have listed the "friends" thing first.

But when I am in world, here are some things that currently are irritating the hell out of me (hell yeah, we're in the Negative Zone today, baby. And you love it.):

1. Jezbell Nitely's "prim babbys"

Look, I'm really not as heartless as the Cult of Lemania makes me out to be. If Jezbell were selling her wares for say 100L each, I'd slap her on the back and say, "GO GIRL!!!" and — to quote "Project Runway" (new season - JOY!) — "I hope you continue to evolve as a designer."

But, um . . .



Yes, I bought one. They sell for $2300L each and hell no, I didn't pay that. I hit her sale at her store Indulge a couple of weeks ago, when some of her prim babbys (as she calls them) were marked down to $300L. Woot!!! (For all I know, they still might be, I haven't gone back and checked.)

And if you prefer a babby with a luscious mane of thick, rich hair, she has those too:

I have friends who have gone through the SL childbirth experience, and by no means am I trying to mock or belittle that decision by getting my own prim babby.

I'm just bored.

I spend a lot of my time in SL in silence, meaning I mute all the sounds and listen to my own music. Turning off the master audio control also protects me from those "please please stop that before I kill you" gestures. So I didn't realize that the prim babby screams at the top of its lungs, until my friend Heidi clued me into this lovely detail. And WOW, the child has a set of pipes on her. If I took her out in public, I'd probably get banned from any store or sim in five minutes tops.

She also complains all damn day.

[10:35] Jemima: Cries loudly, I want my daddy!
[10:38] Jemima: Cries loudly, I want my daddy!
[10:40] Jemima: Cries loudly, I want my daddy!

You don't really have a daddy, Jemima. His name is Prad. But he never comes around here. So deal with it.

[10:43] Jemima: Cries loudly, I want my daddy!

Emerald throws Jemima like a football into her neighbor's yard.

[10:45] Emerald Wynn: Bye bye, Jemima! Have a nice life! Don't talk to strangers or listen to Miley Cyrus.

2. This hemline:



If you recognize the dress, don't get me wrong. I love this store. I'm just sick of seeing this hemline. And I'm entitled to my fashion preferences.

3. Chickens who haven't had legs for a week:



4. Chickens who haven't had legs OR a head for a week:



5. Chickens who get all up in my face and look like Godzilla:



Dude, step off me or I'm not hanging out in your fancy chicken coop with you anymore.

6. Chicks (as in girls) with that annoying booty-popping, grinding AO who shake their blangin' stuff in my face while I'm trying to shop:



Yeah, she didn't rez all the way. I also couldn't get a decent booty-poppin' shot. That's the story of my life.

And honey, those little strappy shoes look bizarre with those monster calves. (Hey, sometimes I roll with the What the Fug? girls. I'm allowed to crack my own whip occasionally.)

OK, if you're feeling weighed down by my grumpy energy, I'll throw in a "COOL AV, MAN!" shot:



It sort of blends in with the carpet, but I like this dragon. And thanks to my awesome photography skills, it also looks like it has legs under its chin. Oops.

And thanks to my Caliah Windlight settings, it looks a little "Las Vegas Strip at 3 a.m." HELP, MY EYYYYYYYES!! (Yes, I have Local Lights turned off.)

Or maybe it's supposed to look like that. Either way:

"COOL AV, MAN!"

And now I need to curl up in yet another fetal position and feel a little sorry for myself for five minutes. This past week has really sucked, but here's to a new tomorrow: