I feel pretty, oh so pretty

Sorry. Just trying to live up to my reputation of "that blogger who starts every post with a picture of her face." (And depending on the season, a gingerbread house.)

Thank you to all the lovely people who expressed condolences about my lost shape. I Frankensteined a new one by combining a body I liked from Shapes by Kira with a face I liked from a shape by [Muted] and then tweaking things here and there to match some measurements of my alt, because thank God, I gave her almost the same face as Emerald Wynn. And then Alexx Usbourne from Shape it Up! made me cry (in a good way) when she gave me an Emerald Wynn shape that she created by looking at pictures in this blog. Wow, that was an extraordinarily kind to do — SEE, I'm tearing up all over again just thinking about it. I've never even met Alexx. *sniff*

So now I'm all set, as far as shapes go. Knock on wood.


This time I gave Emerald fuller lips, slightly more slanted eyes and a boob job. SHE'S PRETTY! All the pretty-AV haters can go ahead and hate. There's nothing wrong with wanting to have a pretty avatar. In real life, I have stringy hair, a huge snaggly once-broken nose that never got fixed, stubborn unsightly melasma and the world's flattest chest. I feel embarrassed and sad and forever alone when I look in a mirror, and I would rather get a root canal than get my picture taken. This, my friends, is the only chance at pretty that I'll ever get. I get irritated when people post snarky SL Secrets or mock people with traditionally pretty avatars. Forgive me if I don't feel like staring at a pixel reproduction of my wonky face and shapeless body. If I wanted to do that, I'd just go find a Mokey from 'Fraggle Rock' AV.

Sorry. It's the holidays and I'm a little hormonal right now. *climbs off the rant box and puts away the violin*

But I didn't come here to write about my face.

Unfortunately we only have five days left until Christmas. *passes out* I went a little overboard with buying Christmas gowns and Christmas decor this year. I did the math today and I'd have to change clothes and houses three times a day for the next five days to use it all. Oops.



I like this Naughty and Nice Gown by BlakOpal. Actually I love almost all the clothes at BlakOpal. If I could afford it, I'd wear them every day. Or at least every other day. They're a little out of my price range though, so much so that I was pleasantly surprised when I checked the price tag on this gown and it was 'only' 450L.

Look at the gorgeous detailing:


Woo.

I'm actually wearing this dress with a burgundy corset undershirt layer that I found in my 125K inventory. (And THAT is why I have a hard time throwing things away.) Because, um, without it . . .



Hubba.

That's not blood on my neck. It's what jewelry looks like now in my V2 viewer. Things like delicate silver chains are dead to me now. Let's pause for a moment of respectful silence and remember them fondly.

. . . pause. . .

I also like the atmosphere of cautious optimism that pervades BlakOpal's Bundle Up Winter Store:


Gentlemen, this menswear is possibly festive.

I laugh every time I look at that sign. It's full of WTF joy.

But enough about me. Let's talk about you. BlakOpal has some free gifts for you at its Winter Store, like a scarf, some mittens - dot dot dot - and this guy:


"YOU DON'T GNOME ME!" (Reindeer leg not included.)

The awesome thing about this free holiday gnome is that it's full-perm. So you can fill your yard with hundreds of them. Or you can annoy the hell out of your friends by throwing gnomes in their inventories while you sing, "If you don't gnome meeee byyyyy nowwwwwww, you will never never never gno-o-ome me, oooooooh!" (Just brace yourself for awkward silence after you do it.)

Soooooo, I had to uninstall Second Life tonight because I'm back to crashing every time I log in. I give up. YOU ALL WIN. After I reinstall it and get through this holiday season, I'll commit myself to cleaning out my 125K inventory. I wanted to get it up to 200K. It was on my bucket list and everything. But apparently an inventory this large causes performance problems. I thought it was just an old wives' tale. I was wrong.


And twist.

GO GET YOU A GNOME AND A SHAPE AND A DRESS AND STUFF:
BlakOpal Bundle Up Winter Store
BlakOpal Main Store
Shape it Up!
[Muted] (I hear it's called Mocha now.)
Shapes by Kira

Bathe me in buttercream (or "Don't touch my cake!")

I know you're looking at this pic and thinking, "What the holy hell??" but in a few minutes you'll understand. I promise.

Here are just a few things I collect in Second Life:
- Virgin Mary kitsch (and the sacred too)
- Unicorns (I liked them waaaaay before they went mainstream, as in, when I was 8)
- Last Call outfits (how original of me)
- Anything by Random Calliope (even though I've given up on trying to complete his rare and ultra-rare Ode sets)
- Neon Frog's menagerie
- Dia de Los Muertos stuff
- Illegal Hello Kitty paraphernalia (even though I'm resigned to the sad reality that one day LL probably will yank it all from my inventory)
- And CAKES!


(Lady Jaquelene, 650L, from the Eat Me Bakery and Cupcakery. GORGEOUS!)

When I spot a Second Life cake that turns me on, people around me get frightened. Why? Because there's a pretty good chance that I'm going to snatch it, jump up and down for a minute, and then run around screaming, "LOOK AT MY CAKE! OH MY GAHHHHHHHH, LOOK AT THIS AWESOME CAKE!! LOOK AT IT! . . . . Oh, would you like a piece? . . .


"WELL THAT'S TOO FREAKIN' BAD — GET YOUR OWN! THIS ONE IS MINE. MINE MINE MINE!"

(And you thought my bold all-caps days were over. Occasionally I break them out for special occasions.)

So I'm sure you can imagine the multiple cakegasms I had when I discovered creator Ambrose Steampunk's Eat Me Bakery and Cupcakery.


(So much for my attempt to photograph several of his cakes. Oops.)

I discovered this bakery during The Silk Road Hunt. Because Ambrose is a man of many cakes (actually he's a fawn/fae of many cakes), and as such, an Emerald Wynn magnet, I chased him down and grilled him about his life.

Ambrose has mad culinary (and artistic) skills in RL. Upon arriving in SL almost two years ago, he was disappointed by the quality of much of the food. Instead of bitching about it — which sadly is what I would probably do — he decided to do something about it and create cuisine that's more up to his standards. I'm so glad he did.

NOW LET'S TALK ABOUT YOU: Specifically, let's talk about why you need to boogie on over to the bakery's Armada Breakaway location and slap this MM board. Don't do it for me. Do it for you. And if you don't make it over there today, no worries. This prize will be in this board through the holidays.


(This picture is exciting.)

The item in the board (only 75 slaps needed - ARE YOU KIDDING ME???) is called A Holiday Feast. I paid the full price of 950L for it . . . and the next day it became an MM board giveaway. Before you express condolences, WAIT!  In the old days, I'd be sobbing and facepalming right now, but my attitude has evolved. I'm glad I paid for it. We need to support our creators as much as we can. It hurts that so many awesome ones have recently closed shop.

(The Armada Breakaway location also has lucky gifts under the tree. The above Lady Jaquelene cake is a prize in one of them.)

This Holiday Feast is not just a table adorned with attractive food; it's a magical menu-driven dining experience for you and your friends. So join me, won't you, as I randomly pop up in some of my friends' chat windows and sweet talk them away from dance clubs, photo shoots, and much more exciting lives than mine. Thank you Saranac, Sophia and Joonie for agreeing to be the latest victims of my horrible photography skills.


The table cloth is texture change. And depending on the setting/course, it's 36 to 177 prims. The chairs are by Yelena Istmal of Noctis, another one of my favorite creators/stores.

Click the centerpiece candelabra to access the menu and begin your meal. Select "First Course" and before your eyes, plates of Stilton cheese drizzled with wildflower honey and accented with fresh strawberries appears. The sweetness of the honey nicely cuts through the sharpness of the cheese and blends harmoniously with the berries:


Laughter. If you were impressed by my culinary knowledge up there, don't be. The table told me all that. It tells you and your guests what it's serving, why, and how each of its five courses has been prepared.

I thought about showing you pics of us eating every course, like this fourth entree course of plump, roasted Cornish game hen, accented with a rosemary and mission fig glaze. It's served with a hunter sauce alongside roasted garlic whipped potatoes and pan-steamed asparagus:


(We all look sullen and slightly annoyed with each other for some reason. "Don't talk to me! I'm eating!")

Or the dessert course — a red velvet Napoleon, featuring stacks of airy red velvet cake and decadent cream cheese icing, presented with fondant holly sprigs and topped with a traditional herringbone chip. A piping-hot latte offers a relaxing way to end this flavorful journey.


(Joonie the Christmas Reindeer explains to us why she has a cute little band-aid on her nose.)

But damn, that would be a lot of similar and, as such, tedious (not to mention bad) pictures in a row.

So I'm glad I didn't do that.

(All meal descriptions courtesy of the table.)

So YES — a 950L feast can be all yours for a mere slap on a board. Get out your slapping hand and start flexing it! If you do want to purchase this table as a holiday gift for the foodie in your life, it has trans perms.

I'm still trying to stick to my gift guide theme, so here's one of the Eat Me Bakery's 100L trans items in the 200-store Twisted Krissmuss gift tour:



Cake in a snowglobe!!!! And you know what? This time I'll let you have a slice because -


Oh my GAAAAAAWWWWWWWWW! Each slice is in its own snowglobe!! *faints with ecstasy*

And finally, as for the picture at the top of this post, that's one of several cupcakes (75L to 100L) at Eat Me, which actually has "Bakery and Cupcakery" in its name, but I'm pushing 40 and I work 14-hour days and frankly I'm too damn tired to type "Cupcakery" over and over. Sorry.


I tried to get the key turning at just the right angle in this Clockwork Cupcake photo (100L, trans), but I couldn't coordinate it with the leaping of the magical killer Christmas whale in the background. And unfortunately, whale trumps cupcake key.

Um, I absolutely love the artistic value in these cupcakes, but they look a little bit like S&M ball gags for kinky bakers. ("You've been a BAD BOY, Adam Lambert. I'm going to tie you up with Twizzlers, shove this cupcake in your mouth, drizzle hot simple syrup all over your thighs and beat you with my whisk until you beg for mercy and my sweet, sweet muffin. THAT'S what I want from you, you glittery biz-atch. But first . . . let me put my apron on.")

I think I would kind of suck as a dominatrix. I don't even remember what we were talking about now. OH YEAH! Cupcakes. Here are a few when they're not shoved in someone's mouth:


When you've got one in your mouth and someone else touches it, it emotes:

"Leaning in, Emerald Wynn takes a bite of the Steamuffin just as Emerald Wynn does the same! A sweet cloud envelops the two in sweet bliss."

:-\

Well, yeah. Two people actually have to be involved in the flirty cupcake dialogue. Although that solo Steamuffin romance sounds about right these days. Yes, I'm single ATM. Go ahead, rub it in while you can, Cupcake. Soon you'll be moving through my digestive tract, and trust me there are no 'sweet clouds' to envelop you in there.

This post seems long. I bet if I removed a few bad pictures, it wouldn't be that bad. But I don't want to. In fact, let's end this post with a parade of "OMG LOOK AT THESE CAKES!!!":


The Tell Tale Heart Cake, 550L. Inspired by Poe. (The author, not the hunt.) I think that heart actually beats.


Created for the grand opening of the Nevermoor sim, where Eat Me's other location lives.


This one is gorgeous and also on display at Nevermoor's landing point. Actually . . . I really hope it's a cake. If it's a plant, I'm going to feel pretty stupid.

I'm waiting for Ambrose to make a unicorn.

Speaking of cake fantasies, the Eat Me Bakery and Cupcakery takes custom cake orders, starting at 700L. Just contact Ambrose Steampunk in world.

GET YOUR CAKE ON:
Eat Me Bakery and Cupcakery at Armada Breakaway (Midnight Mania board and Lucky Presents are located here.)
Eat Me Bakery and Cupcakery at Nevermoor
Eat Me Bakery on Marketplace (Lag-free browsing through pictures of cakes that are way the hell better than my pictures)

ALSO FEATURED
Skin: Mynerva's Sophie in Smokey Red
Icy eye makeup tattoo layer: Miamai_LesMakeups in Yuki01
Eyes: Daydream Eyes in Cauldron Grey (bought on Marketplace)
Hair: Truth - Leighton in Caramel
Gown: League - Burlesque Rose, Yuletide Edition

Panic at the disco

(I'm not really at the disco.)

Sooooo yesterday I ran around as this Gingerbread Girl AV (350L) from A Touch of Ireland. Some people saw it and clapped. Others saw it and screamed. I wore it partly because it's fun and partly because I'm working on a blog post about how I don't think A Touch of Ireland gets enough credit for being awesome. (There's also a Gingerbread Man, 360L. They're both trans, so buy one for the silly cookie-lover in your life.)

But today I wanted to be a real girl again. So I stripped off all the gingerbread stuff and opened up my "Essential Emerald Wynn" folder . . . AND MY SHAPE IS GONE. IT'S GONE! OMG IT'S GONE!!!!

That's pretty much what's repeating in my head right now, over and over like a broken record. A scary record. Like, a Halloween record. With screams and wails and such.

The whole folder is gone. My normal shape. My skirt shape. My big boob shape. My small boob shape. My short shape. My pregnant shape. My Emerald's Sultry Face shape. My Gracie's Model Wannabe shape. Backup copies of each shape. THEY'RE ALL GONE.

The shape was from old-school RaC, but modded to my liking. At first I thought maybe it was so old that it just up and died, but my other RaC shape folders are there. So I looked everywhere. I did an inventory search by name. I looked in other nearby folders. I looked in the trash. I even looked in my Lost and Found folder, which was stupid. ("Hi, we found your shape lying around in our store so we returned it to your Lost and Found folder. Please clean up after yourself next time.")

Sooooooo . . . it would have been smart if I would have WRITTEN DOWN MY DIMENSIONS in preparation for a disaster like this one, huh? But I never did. Lazy lazy lazy lazy!! I tweaked my shape so many times, I gave up on recording my measurements.

Hey, check out the feet on this gingerbread AV:


Awesome. Suddenly I'm starving.

OK, so I've logged off in the hopes that when I log back in, my shape and its many versions will be back. I mean, where do things go in Second Life when they just vanish? My Paradise Pet cat Dewey (and all the backup copies of her) vanished from my inventory earlier this year. And someone griefed my parcel this summer and cranked the elevation of my land up to nine million feet, which sent my Modest House Blue Orchid house, my ocean sound rock, all my little singing birds and many other things I loved into outer space, never to return.

Just humor me for a minute, please, as I throw one last tantrum:

"WTF LINDEN LAB?? WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY??? You could have had anything. You could have taken it ALL! My Last Call collection. My Stiletto Moodys. My beloved Alchemy Immortalis folder. My fish tanks. My dinosaur. The Bunny. . . . wait, not The Bunny, actually. All my Neon Frog animals. Even all my skins. But not my shape! ANYTHING BUT MY SHAPE!!!"

Wow. I'm going to have to start all over again. Emerald Wynn as we know her is gone. I'm mainly mourning the face. Hell, I used to mess around with my body measurements all the time anyway. But once I got my face the way I liked it, it was sacred. And there's no way I'm going to remember how to create that same face again. I'm stunned. Just stunned.

I hope we've all learned a valuable lesson from this incident, kids. If you like your shape, write down all the measurements somewhere. I'm sure 99 percent of you do this. I just never thought something this tragic would happen to me. I never really took my shape that seriously . . . until it vanished. *weeps*

Pause for a gingerbread butt shot:


HAHAHA! That peppermint is cute. I guess I could be a gingerbread girl forever. It would sure save a lot of shopping money.

Anyway. Ugh. Can someone please start by sending me the head dimensions for Truth hair?

I'm gonna go make some hot chocolate. And brownies.

VISIT IN WORLD: A Touch of Ireland

'What the hell is a wireframe?' (PMS + tutorial!)

Can someone please check out this chick's AO and answer my deep burning question, "What is it called and for the love of God, WHY?"


Don't get me wrong — she's cute. I like her headphones or her earmuffs or whatever those things are, and she's rocking some snazzy red sweatpants. But is there an AO out there called, "Hey, check out my ruby red ass"? I'm currently in the throes of some agonizing PMS, and it only took a few minutes of looking at this girl's butt in this position before I wanted to kick it.

I shot that pic while I was on a hunt. So let's talk about something else that's bugging the crap out of me, and then I'll show you some helpful pics that could turn you into a Hunt Goddess/God. (You might want to skip the bitching and go straight to the Tutorial section.)

Ready?

Step away from the landing point.

You would think with all the annoying gestures out there, someone would make one called, "BITCH, MOVE!" (If there's one that exists, please let me know.)

During this season of 9,000 hunts, I can't tell you how many people I've landed on during the past few days. Nothing bugs me more than TPing into a store and flailing around in the air for a while like a queen dork because someone is standing there zoning out at the landing point. Shauna Skye made me laugh over on her awesome Moonletters blog with her post, "Get off the Landing Point," and accompanying pics. (Although, what the hell? She looks way cooler than I do when she flails.)

When you TP into a location, please take a couple of steps back, front, to the side, whatever works for you, and then you can space out, wander away from your computer, make some nachos, fix a drink, milk a cow, or whatever you may need to do afk all you want. Please. Thank you.

I'll admit, I don't get as passionately angry about this problem as I used to because some of you may recall Halloween, when I crashed and left a half-dressed, creepy-looking ghosted AV at Mynerva's landing point for six hours. I can't imagine how many people landed on me and cursed my name that day.


Photo courtesy of Sophia Harlow, who valiantly went over there with her husband and beat my ghosted AV with big stick in an attempt to get her to go away. Didn't work, but hilarious pics. *shudder*

And as long as we're talking about hunts, can someone please solve a seemingly age-old mystery for me? If a hunt sign says a hunt lasts from, say, "Nov. 26 to Dec. 17," I assume it means we have until the end of Dec. 17 to finish it, not the beginning, yes?? Last night, there was some group discussion— with a couple of snark comments thrown in for good measure — over whether the With Love hunt ended at 11:59 p.m. Dec. 16 or 11:59 p.m. Dec. 17. It was tiring. People who talk as if they know everything when really they know absolutely nothing make me tired. So did that sentence.

For the record, I finished the second half of that hunt this morning (which is Dec. 17, since this damn blog template has no dates), so get out there and spend 880L to finish it today if you're so inclined. (Yes, when you do the math, it's kind of like getting a bucket of ice water thrown in your face, BUT the 10L prizes are worth it. Really, they are.)

OK, the bitching is now officially over. Sorry. Let's move on to . . .

         TUTORIAL, or HERE'S THE PART WHERE I ATTEMPT TO TEACH SOMETHING

Many hunts have some challenging moments that evoke frustrated screams. I was talking with a friend the other day and said, "That [aRAWRa] prize was impossible for some reason — I finally had to break out the wireframe." She said, "What's that? I don't think I have a wireframe."

Oh yes you do, honey! You have it and with a little help from me, you can wield your wires like a Jedi master!

**optional ending** Many people already know this stuff. If so, just stop reading here. **end optional ending**

When a hunt stop leaves you crumpled up in a fetal position and sobbing, you can get all ninja on its ass by using wireframe. Here's how. (Apologies in advance for getting the bright idea to take these how-to pics after I was already IN wireframe.)

1. Pull up your Advanced menu. The latest version of Viewer 2 includes this option in Preferences (Advanced tab). Or, on Mac, hit Ctrl+Option+D. On a PC, press Ctrl+Alt+D.

2. Scroll down and check "Show Develop Menu":



3. In the Develop menu, select "Rendering," then move to the submenu and check "Wireframe":


Congratulations! You've just reduced your world to a bunch of lines! The next time your SLife gets a little heavy or drama-laden, repeat after me: "We're just a bunch of lines. That's all we are. A bunch of lines."

In wireframe, prims will be more densely populated with lines. (I bet there's a more technical term for "lines" too.) And you can still walk around and do everything you usually do in your solid existence. So in this case, we're using wireframe in a desperate attempt to find the Zombie Popcorn3 item at iPoke:


THERE IT IS!

Granted, sometimes you'll need some cam skills to tour your wireframed world. Or you can move from room to room and search wireframe in each one. Whatever works. You can select the item and buy it in wireframe, or turn your world back to normal and run over there like you're a champion in "Chariots of Fire."

Here's the above shot of that hunt item as it looks in SL:


I can upload this pic and frame it for you as a Christmas gift, if you'd like. Just let me know.

Sorry this blog post was so short and sedate.

'Hey, I like your lesbian washing machine!'

Welcome to the blog where just about every picture is shot in my yard.

It's the most wonderful time of the year (sing it with me!) and I love the fact that Vita's Boudoir offers so many gift-worthy gorgeous gowns with trans perms. Unfortunately for my linden balance, they're a little pricey. The good news is the very generous Vita has hidden three fab holiday gifts in her store, in three easy-to-find poinsettias (God, I hate spelling that word). This dress (*points up*) is in one of them. This hair wreath (*points down*) is in another:


I'm almost positive it's called something besides "hair wreath," though. That sounds like a wreath made out of hair. Ew.

I do have to warn you that I've seen a ton of AVs running around in this outfit today. I realllllllly wanted to round them all up, myself included, for a "Who Wore It Best" post. But I didn't.

The third gift is an attachment that lets you blow kisses. Pretend there are little red heart particles coming out of my mouth in this picture. It was a bitch to take.


MUAH, DARLINGS!

When these eyes are actually open, they're from Exodi/Woe's 12 Days of Christmas gift event. Every day until Christmas, Ryker Beck and Dick Wiesel (haha, I called him Diesel in the first draft) are putting two gifts under the Christmas tree in the middle of their sim. The gifts change each day. I thought I grabbed the gift with the awesome fat pack of Exodi eyes yesterday (I'm wearing Look Into My Eyes in Ornamental), but my life is kind of blending into one long day, so who knows. In any case, they're still there. Go grab them today because they'll be gone at midnight.

This blog post feels chunky and sludge-like. I've been mildly to heavily sedated since my cats died a few days ago, so you'll have to bear with me. Fortunately this is my vacation week, so it's a lovely time to be comfortably numb.


In other free stuff news: This holiday fireplace (29 prims) has texture-change options and is a gift from the Oasis Furniture Subscribo (join the one by the door and click the white mailbox to get it). I'll admit, I've gotten so many free holiday fireplaces this year that I'm pretty much set for SLife, but this one is really nice, as you can tell from my awesome photography skills. In fact, it looks particularly nice in my neighbor's yard, where I've been sneaking over to rez things. (My parcel is full-up with prims at the moment.)

OK. I promised you more gift suggestions. Everything featured here obviously has trans perms.

For the blogger . . . oops, I mean friend . . . who likes FISH TANKS (!!!):
These 200L Seaside Fish Tanks (25 prims, animated fish included) at Oasis Furniture made me a little nostalgic for the fish tank posts — like this one and this one — from my early blog days. It was kind of an inside joke between me and my eight readers. Anyway, I bought the blue/gray version of this tank.


Wow, my AV looks like really angry, possibly because she has pine needles jammed on her head and is sick of dressing like a loony Christmas fanatic.

For the sexually active appliances in your life:


Oasis also has straight, lesbian and gay washing machines (6 prims, 50L).

For your embarrassingly unattractive friend:


Baffle offers 200L trans versions of its shapes.

"Hi! I got you a new shape for Christmas! The one you have is ugly. Cheers to a joyous holiday season!"

For your Lady Gaga fanboy/fangirl friend who isn't opposed to rocking the occasional shoulder pet:


HOW AWESOME IS THIS?! Sorry, but I'm loving it so hard. It makes me laugh.

This Fame Gaga Bear is from Kouse's Sanctum. It costs a painless 50L for a set of three sizes - mini, small and large.

And I'm so sorry, but I just have to share this very important info:


There's a CHINCHILLA in the Neon Frog Midnight Mania board today!!

ALL THIS AND MORE CAN BE YOURS:
Vita's Boudoir
Exodi/Woe 12 Days of Christmas tree
Oasis Furniture
Baffle
Kouse's Sanctum
Neon Frog

Cool like that

For months, I've been randomly snapping pictures of things with trans perms because last year I had a helluva time finding decent Christmas presents. So I've had this vision of a 2010 Gift Guide blog series dancing in my head for a while.

HOWEVER, you're not really going to need those pictures now. There are so many gift markets this year that you're probably going to end up like me. I've gotten so slap-happy with buying presents for hundreds of imaginary friends that I now have enough stuff to give a gift to anyone who says to me, "Hey, give me a damn Christmas present." Go ahead. Try it. (Please. I'm sort of begging you, actually.)

In any case, I'll still attempt a gift guide series. He we go. First post. *rubs hands together*


These Glass Bird Antlers by Schadenfreude (200L) go in my "Never throw this stuff away ever" inventory folder. I got them at the Albero Holiday Dollar Fair, where everything is priced less than 260L (or $1 USD), open through Jan. 2.

They have so many options, I don't have room to cover them all: change the type of decorations (lights, ornaments, birds), hide/show any of them, change antler color and more. I love them passionately and I'm not even one of those Emo Antler Chicks. I know you're gasping in disbelief, but I'm not. Sadly, I lost blog followers after my last mopey post. (Yes, I keep track of my "followers," not out of vanity, but so I can send each of you silent blessings and waves of love and appreciation.)

That emo sh*t does not fly in Second Life, kids! You'd better get funny or get mean or get to kissing overhyped-designer tush or you might as well get the hell out of SL Blogville! (It's kind of like Whoville, except we have better hair here.)

Just kidding. Kind of.

Let's pause and reflect on why Ruth probably isn't getting much action.


Nice nipples. I log in like this about three times a week. The bellybutton and fingernails, however, are surprisingly detailed.

Anyway.

When I was a noob, I used to save all my lindens for House of RFyre clothes. I thought they were the ultimate in awesome, along with House of Nyla. Those were my two "I'm feeling special and not-so-broke so I'm gonna shop here" stores. Wait! Add UK Couture to that list too. And Bubblefish! (**hums "One of These Things is Not Like the Other!"**)

I still like House of RFyre, especially their winter stuff. In fact, this time of year they should change their name to "House of WinterFyre." Because that would be cool.

I got this ensemble in their frosty little cottage at Holiday Village. As much as I would like to say that everything in every store at Holiday Village is transferrable, I didn't do my research so I can't. Let's just make an educated guess and say it is. I can say with all certainty that this outfit definitely has trans perms.


Get your mind out of the gutter. I'm making an angel in a pool of hot chocolate. With whipped cream.

The outfit is called "2010 Womens Ice: White" (650L) and I feel like it's my duty to ask, "WHO FELL ASLEEP AT THE CLOTHES-NAMING WHEEL?" (At least put an apostrophe in there where it belongs.)

I'm going to rename it, "2010 Women's Belted Bitchcicle Frosty Foofy Foo."

I'm available to name your creations too.

I love you, so I'll be honest with you. I'm irritated that this set — which includes long skirt, short skirt and lingerie options — has glitch skirts instead of glitch pants. I'm running low on Xanax these days, so I skipped the glitch-skirt trauma and decided to just wear the lingerie thong under the sheer little skirt. We don't say "ho ho ho" around here for nothing.

This outfit also is available in blue, pink, cream and probably other colors I'm forgetting. Those stockings (included) are awesome. They're going in my "Even Though You Have 600 Pairs of Stockings, Keep These Pairs" inventory folder.

Oh, and I got the Carita shape and Cilla skin (Goth, Smoked Crimson) at Amacci. It's not a permanent change, but I felt like looking at a new face for a while.

OK, I'm going to get back to trying to finish about 35 holiday hunts (*cough* ZombiePopcorn *cough* With Love) now. I do want to close with this one picture:



I found these one-prim sculpted animated cats at Shop Seu for an affordable 120L each, and they're also trans, BTW. They look like the cats I just lost in RL. Morbid? I don't know. Considering I was going to get their ashes made into one of those LifeGem Memorial Diamonds (which freaked the hell out of everyone I know when I mentioned it), I'm going to say NO. Not morbid. And a big hug goes out to my friend Fricker for the Big Daddy cat couch, and to everyone who's said kind things, in world and in comments or even just in their heads. I always knew Second Life would be a diversion, but I never knew I would find so much love here.

OK I'm done with the sad, sappy stuff. I swear.

CHECK IT
Albero Holiday Dollar Fair
House of RFyre at Holiday Village
Shop Seu
LifeGem Memorial Diamonds

ALSO PICTURED:
Breathe Me hair in White by Shag
Ice Queen Makeup, Sparkles Only, by Concrete Flowers
Bax Prestige Boots in Silver by Bax Coen Designs
Carita shape, Cilla skin, Real Eyes in Winter by Amacci
Top pose from It's Been a Crazy Day set by .Tea
Middle pose by ***SL Has Effing Ruthed My Ass and Left Me Hanging in Mid-Air Again***
Hot chocolate angel pose in the Gingerscape Mini pose prop by W. Winx:


(Whew, don't say I don't give credit where credit is due. I love all you hard-working creators.)

It hurts (sepia)

This sim is called The Wastelands. I found it in Search because I wanted to go to a place that looked as bleak as my heart feels right now.

Yesterday I had three cats in RL. Today I have one.

My cat Chloe had been my constant companion for 12 years. Unlike other cats who can be a little demanding, she wanted nothing except to be near me. (Well, that and tuna-flavored cat treats. The crunchy ones.) At night, she slept in the crook of my knees or curled up against my back. She was quiet and shy and affectionate and sweet.

She got sick really fast, and when it was apparent to me that she was suffering, I took her in to my vet's yesterday. They ran tests. Her kidneys were shot and she was crashing from renal failure. I was expecting that diagnosis. I've seen it happen before. I wasn't expecting the additional information that she had multiple other complications as a result of Feline HIV. I didn't know she had it.

We put Chloe down. She kept her eyes on me the whole time. Many of you have been there. It's horrible. She brought me 12 years of joy. She deserved to leave this earth on the wings of a thousand angels — not on a cold metal table with a needle jammed in her leg.

The vet suggested I bring in my other cats for an HIV test. I went back and got my eight-month-old cat Oscar. He tested positive, with an active strain. I could have bought him more time. I could have chosen to stick it out, to monitor it with frequent vet visits, to keep him away from other cats. I could have done that, but my vet told me the best thing to do would be to put him down too. Oscar didn't go down without a fight. And he looked at me with this confused, "Why are you doing this to me?" look as the life left his little body.

I would give every dime in my bank account to erase that memory.

My vet asked me to bring in my third cat. Hell no. My remaining cat Hopscotch is 18 and in the final stages of renal failure. They've already told me her days are numbered, and that number is low. But right now she's still batting her toy mouse around, eating heartily and climbing on her cat post. When it's her time to go, I'll know. And it's not her time to go. At least not today.

I know I have the ability to write a big moving tribute that would make us all cry, but words have left me and I can't describe the grief and the loneliness and the empty, empty hole in my life right now.

Yes, this too shall pass, but at the moment my heart is a wasteland. My life is drained of color. I am wandering, lost, in a sepia-toned world, calling out to names that will never answer me again.

It hurts.

Visit Inworld: The Wastelands
Luna Jubilee's 52 Weeks of Color Challenge

Purple people-eater (whoops, I mean plum)

I think this Peep Show Prop from Soulless Productions is one of my favorite pose props ever.



Emerald Wynn runs her hands seductively up the jagged edges of her distorted inner thighs as she peers coyly over the carcass of a slaughtered plum teddy bear. Her plum Breath Me hair by Shag blends into the plum-ish background of your own private peep show until all you see are her piercing Violet Eyes by Cupcakes. Even though her not-that-plum burlesque boots by [Gos] are slicing into her calves, she is oblivious to everything but you. All. She. Cares. About. Is. You. (And your lindens.)

She slides her hands up her stomach until she reaches her heaving plum-clad bosom, where she slowly peels back the lace of her Divine Plum Lingerie by Rock Me Amadeus and flashes you a ripe and perky pink nipple:



Oops. That's a reindeer by Minke Bailey.

(Bondage top from the Vida Metallic outfit in Plum by VoguE. Skin: Autumn in . . . Cinnamon, maybe? - sorry - by Curio.)

She flips upside-down and runs her tongue along her moist Autumn in Fatpack Bonus Makeup 1 lips by Curio while she gives you a look that's filled with lust, longing, heartbreak and a slight migraine from all the oppressive shades of purple that hold her captive.



As you tip her $500 lindens, she leans forward and whispers,



"This blog post is horrible. Run."

UNLEASH YOUR INNER EXHIBITIONIST
Soulless Productions
Rock Me Amadeus (on Marketplace, 80L)
Shag
[Gos]
Curio
MB-CreationZ by Minke Bailey (Marketplace store)
VoguE (fur and Vida Metallic top)
Violet Eyes by Cupcakes

Also pictured:
Winter makeup by Concrete Flowers (check back in three days for the SLURL — oops.)
Asteroid bracelet (awesome) by LOULOU&CO.

Get Colorful:
Luna Jubilee's 52 Weeks of Color Challenge

Sorry — if the links take you to Marketplace, it's because I bought that item there. Wow. I'm becoming just as lazy in SL as I am in RL. But why waste time teleporting-slash-crashing when I can just grab it online?

I have to run and catch a plane to Oklahoma City.

My life is so exciting, I can hardly stand it.

Muah!