Friday, January 21, 2011


I've been feeling really out of sorts lately. For instance, I even stayed home from work today because I had a wild urge to stroll in there and either fire everybody or quit my job. But you know what? It just dawned on me that maybe the reason I'm feeling slightly off is because I've been spending hours and hours over the course of days looking in nooks and crannies for this thing:

Yeah, that's right.

You have 10 days left to finish The Serial Killer Hunt.

And speaking of death, you're going to have to bear with me through one more breedable cats post. Sorry. It's all I've got going on.

I rented some space in the Purfect Kitty cat market. I learned my lesson the hard way with the chickens. Remember? People went wild and snatched up every market stall on the grid? By the time I finally got some really cool rare eggs of my own to sell, there was absolutely nowhere to sell them. I was on waiting lists. WAITING LISTS TO SELL IMAGINARY CHICKENS. (Read that sentence fragment out loud and then pause for a moment as we reflect on how sad my life really is.)

But not this time.

Awwwwwwww yeah, baby! Welcome to Emerald's Cathouse, where the lovin' is good and the kittens are sexy!

It looks spiffy, huh? The camera is so kind. Truth is, every cat has a paragraph of stats over its head. Sure, you can turn them off, but that would be pretty crappy customer service. So although my camera politely ignored the eyesore, in world, my cat stall looks like this:


So as you can see, my cats finally started giving birth. And I guess some of the kittens are considered pretty desirable. I'm not sure. I joined the Wildwood Breedables group, but those people have a nonstop stream of cat chatter going on throughout the day. Don't get me wrong: if that's your thing, that's wonderful. But as for me, I don't have much to say about my cats (beyond writing a long droning blog post about them). So when I do pipe up and ask an occasional question, it always seems to kill the chat for a minute, probably while 300 people think, "Shut up, you idiot lurker."

So I have no idea what the hell I'm doing. For instance, my cat Diana Ross just gave birth to this cat called an Eclipse:

So impressive, he even has a sign!

He's a cream tabby with glowing golden eyes and a fluffy tail. I guess this breed is called Eclipse because the cream color is . . . covered with darkness? Don't stare directly at it! You'll burn your eyes!

That picture sucks. Here's are his parents (I think. I lose track of who's zooming whom):

Diana Ross is on the left. You can tell she's an Eclipse because SL is taking her glowing Cobalt eyes and smearing them across my photo. The father Flauta is another kind of exciting type in the cat world, maybe? He's called a Van, with Sleek shading (how cool is that?) and a Fluffy tail, which is more desirable than a common tail. I just fell asleep for a second. Let's pause for an unrelated question:

Does anyone know what happened to the following people: Banana Vella, Ding Fotherington and Beanie Canning? I miss their blogs.

Anyway, yeah — that's a birthing picture up there. The kittens are born in baskets. That must hurt like a mo-fo. As soon as Diana Ross finished squeezing out that wicker, I took her Eclipse kitten and put him up for sale in Emerald's Cathouse. I have no idea what to charge. I'm scared to ask the Wildwood Breedables group. I walked around and looked at other Eclipses and they're 3K - 4K lindens. My God, that seems insane to me. So mine is 1200L. Hell, if you're savvy, you could probably buy him and flip him like a pancake.

I also have some starter cats for sale for 50L. They're not that exciting, but they could have exciting kittens one day. I'm willing to negotiate too. I'll go as low as 5L.

I bought a cat called a Holiday Elegant (with a Shimmer coat) that's supposed to look like a gingerbread man but instead looks like a creepy John Wayne Gacyesque serial killer cat:


I named her Beyonce. She just gave birth to that Modern Seal Tuxedo female with Shimmer shading and a Bobbed tail. I think those are good things. I have no idea what that kitten's price should be though. Maybe I should try an auction house or something.

Oh my gawd, I'm dying of boredom. Dying. Of. Boredom. This blog post is unbearable. Frankly, it's not even a real post — it's really a cry for help. If you're a nice person and you know about this stuff, could you please help me? HELP ME, PLEASE, I'M BEGGING YOU TO HELP ME!

OK. The End.

Emerald's Cathouse! 

Posted Jan. 21, 2011


Blingtardette said...

Good luck with getting help from the Wildwood clique; you have to wait a week before they even let you post on their forums. They make Goreans look welcoming and inclusive, lol.

nimil said...

LOL i love this... i have no idea what to do with breedables since i can't really afford to breed and trade with them so i would totally be in the same boat you are when it comes to pricing and all that junk.

Amie Adamski said...

I miss Banana too :( I don't log on only once or twice or month but I still read the blogs. I checked yesterday b/c I'm a stalker and Banana hasn't logged into SL since October.

I love the kitties too cute!

word verfication-bootto made me laugh

Emerald Wynn said...

*fangirls ALL THREE OF YOU*


Anonymous said...

LMAO....what a fun read.

Heather said...

Em you need to join me in WoW! You'd be the Queen of Quests and Achievements, I'm positive! (You'd love it..) :))

Heather said...

Bah! Krissy up there, btw.. :)

Quaintly Tuqiri said...

The last thing I heard from Banana was that her SL hubby moved to NZ to be with her. That was in May last year. So I am guessing she is too distracted by RL to spend any time in SL :)

Lucy Lourbridge said...

I have a gingerbread cat too... he reminds me of an Oompa Loompa... I love the eclipse cats... I think they glow from the inside and are shadowed outside? Not sure, but I picked up your little boy and he's got a hot date with my little eclipse girl... I promise to not name them after Twilight characters tho!

Emerald Wynn said...


Lucy Lourbridge said...


Ding Fotherington said...