Sunday, January 2, 2011

The island of misfit pictures

Every day I get hundreds of notecards that say, "Emerald, we simply cannot live without your photography. You need a lot more pictures in your blog posts. Give us more, more, more!"

OK. Sadly, here are a few pictures that had nowhere to live in 2010. Let's give them a big hug and make them feel better.

Hell yeah, Barbie is a slut and I'm too sexy for you, zombie boy. (Skin: Sophie demo at Mynerva; T-shirt from Beauty Killer.)

Am I the only one who prudishly checks under my skirt before I fly?

You can leave your shoes on. (I heart butt-naked men standing in the middle of women's stores.)

I don't know these ladies, but I spent about three hours staring at a lucky board with them. We look like a band of perfectly groomed superheroes. Or a very lovely street gang in Narnia. And yes . . .

The lucky board platform at Caverna Obscura is one of the best places to people-watch on the grid. Do not even try showing up in jeans and a T-shirt or someone will beat you senseless with a wing and a magic wand.

And the award for Most Awesome Abuse of a Van Gogh Painting goes to . . . [name omitted because I'm nice and I kind of like this store].

I think I'm gonna pass on this one.

I'm the one in the air, trying to get away from that tattooed chick who was oh-so-adept at chasing my AV around this push-enabled store and shoving me into walls. When this kind of thing happens, I turn on my camera's sound and start taking tons of bad pictures. Click click click click click.

[2010/12/15 21:32] Cacey McAndrews: i don't understand why you wanted to take my picture!
[2010/12/15 21:33] Emerald Wynn: I took several pics of you pushing me around the store
[2010/12/15 21:33] Emerald Wynn: to go with the AR I'm filing against you
[2010/12/15 21:33] Cacey McAndrews: i was just trying to say hi to :(
[2010/12/15 21:33] Emerald Wynn: sure you were

I sounded like Clint Eastwood in that last sentence.

Her butt crack was showing, too. If you're gonna try to grief me, at least dress appropriately, particularly because you might become blog material.

Meadow Breeze 2.0 gown by Caverna Obscura. It was my original pick for the 52 Weeks of Color: Blue post before I decided to pimp myself out instead. Speaking of, I'm hopelessly behind in that challenge. Somebody get me an outfit with cerise, yellow, green and silver, please. P.S. A complete stranger gave me that hair garland. She said something like, "That dress is really pretty — this will match it." I'm such a sap, I got a little teary when it happened. People ARE inherently good! They are, they are!

Dear VoguE, I had to delete two trees and a chair before I could rez and unpack your 18-prim bag. I forgive you though. Love, Em.

I'm a big damn fan of A Touch of Ireland. A big damn fan, I tell you, primarily because they saturate my monitor with so much joyous color. (Hey, this dress is green. Check one color off my list of late color challenge posts.) The Christmas Goat is feeling it too.

. . . actually, the more I look at this picture, the more I want this pink slasher latex catsuit. Don't tell anyone. (The hood is a tattoo layer!)

Someday I'll look back on this picture and think, "Maybe I should've toned down the whole Christmas Spirit thing a little." (Holly Faerie Outfit - Nice by Caverna Obscura.) (Magical Christmas Killer Whale is magical.)

I love the store Meb as much as the next person, but if any of you ever see me wearing these "Touch Me" jeans, I do want you to touch me — in the face. As in, slap it. Hard.

This post was hard for me to write. My parents got me two kittens for Christmas. Confidentially among us friends, I wasn't ready for two new cats yet. In fact, I was looking forward to NOT being a cat lady for a while. IN FACT, I was fantasizing about getting a dog — one that I could jog with and walk in dog parks and use as a lure to meet robust, good-looking men with dogs. And then our dogs could fall in love and we could fall in love and everything would be like a Meg Ryan movie. Sigh.

But now I have a mostly white kitten named Clover and a completely black one named Felix. And both of them wanted to WALK ALL OVER THIS KEYBOARD while I was typing this post. At one point I almost said, "To hell with it," and let them.

This post was almost titled, "What the cats wrote."


Beauty Killer
Caverna Obscura (keep TPing up the tree to get to the members-only lucky boards)
A Touch of Ireland


Alicia Chenaux said...

I love you so hard. Seriously. LOL Everytime I log into my dashboard to blog something and see you've posted, I forget totally about blogging and run to read. ♥

Renee Harvy (Duh!) said...

Ok, I'm 99% sure the griefer is wearing my shoes... which is SO not how I wanted to find my stuff on your blog LOL. I'll just close my eyes and pretend that didn't happen, and lol at the rest :D

Epione Serendipity said...

Your photos are fabulous! Did you go to Parsons? *winks*

Photos Nikolaidis said...

But haven't you heard? Catlady is the new black!

(and my verification word is upbrolk... *runs of too cause some upbrolk and havoc*)

Anonymous said...

Wow when did it change to pushing Avs = a happy hello? o.0

That slasher outfit scares me, too. :o

And hey nothing says that adorable kittens in your window doesn't draw sexy single men who go "Awwwwww". It could still so be a Meg Ryan movie.... before she had all that weird plastic surgery.

Serenity said...

XDDD Awesome post, this one was jam-packed with just great stuff. Never stop blogging Emera <3

Deoridhe said...

Ok, I totally need to join the "bugging you to post pictures" brigade, 'cause this cracked me up.

Chalice Carling said...

Held my sides reading this post. My fav pic is the one where you are checking if your undies are on.

Nothing worse than looking up and seeing bare crotches traversing the skies of SL. You were brought up right Emmy baby.