My big buggy eyes and your hellbound vagina mouth

My personal preference is to start every blog post with a picture. So before I begin, here's one for all you
ass-kickers out there. FREE GUNS on Marketplace, and they look pretty cool. Get them HERE.


OK. Moving on.

So I have absolutely no idea why some SL bloggers proclaimed it Red Lipstick Wednesday yesterday or what noble cause everyone's rallying for now and whether they're supporting red lipstick in general or a person who wears it or what. I did see the SL Secret about it (oops, now removed), but as with 99 percent of most SL Secrets, I had no idea who it was slamming. I'm not one of the popular kids and I'm not on Plurk so I hardly ever get the scoop on stuff like that.

And OH LAWDY I'm sorry, but I can't handle all this red lipstick talk without sharing this story. Don't let the following big blocks of text scare you. READ IT! I promise you'll like it. Here we go:

Last week, my RL friend went out on a first date with a guy she met on ChristianMingle.com. It was a dressy date at a nice restaurant and she wore red lipstick. (Should we gasp here? I have no idea.) At dinner, the guy told her that he'd let it slide that one time, but in the future, red lipstick would be a deal-breaker. He said red lipstick was originally created to entice men by reminding them of a woman's labia. As such, he just couldn't date a woman — let alone kiss one — with a FILTHY VAGINA MOUTH. *falls on the floor laughing all over again* Yes, I paraphrased the last part. I'm sure he said it was "not Godly" or something. Regardless of how he said it, WOW, that is some AWKWARD first-date dinner conversation right there.

And hell no, my friend never went out with him again. Knowing her, I'm sure she was very classy about giving him the boot, but I wish she would have told him that a guy who scrutinizes women's lips and evaluates their resemblance to labia is an INSTANT deal-breaker for her. Can you imagine him walking around town every day surrounded by all those loose women with their glistening labial smiles? His mind must be reeling with psalms and acts of contrition ALL DAY!

Um, so yeah, now when I see red lipstick, I think of that story and cringe a little. (Seriously, I don't think there are any normal single men left out there.) So, THANK YOU, all you WANTON SL bloggers, prowling the streets, looking for helpless Christian men to tempt with your luscious genitalia-red mouths! Wipe off those pixel puckers and get your asses to church! And wash your mouths out with holy water while you're at it!

Anyway. I can't imagine all the pervy Google searches that are going to lead to this blog post now. Oops. *gives the pervs a big CARTOON WAVE and flashes them my CARTOON BOOBS*

BEFORE I GOT SIDETRACKED, ONCE ABOUT A TIME THIS BLOG POST 

WAS SUPPOSED TO START RIGHT HERE

And now, a random observation fueled by my desire to get these stupid pictures off my desktop.

I saw this Leah skin in Spring Breeze by Glam Affair at The Dressing Room and snatched it up because, frankly, Glam Affair could throw up a vendor there that just says, "MYSTERY SKIN! AND NO DEMO FOR YOU!" and I'd still buy it. That's a steal for 70L!

But when I got home and put it on, I just wasn't feeling it.


MY, WHAT SLEEPY YELLOW EYELIDS YOU HAVE!

But then I put on Fashionably Dead's Twiggy makeup that's currently at Collabor88 and it resulted in this quirky goggle-eyed look that I'm sort of diggin'. I mean, yeah, it looks a little like I have crusty yellow stuff coming out of my eyes now, but let's just call it art. I'm also wearing Burnout Lipshine by M.O.C.K. Cosmetics. I'm not wearing it as a statement. I'm wearing it in honor of my friend's mouth that's apparently going to send her straight to Hell . . . or at least into a life of prostitution.


MY, WHAT BIG BUGGY EYES YOU HAVE!

So yeah, I basically deconstructed and reconstructed your whole skin, Glam Affair! Sorry about that!

All hail the power of makeup layers! How did we ever live without them?

That is all. I told you it was random.

THOSE CREDITS THAT NO ONE REALLY GIVES A DAMN ABOUT
Hair – D!va at Collabor88 –Sayaka2 in Cat's Eye
Skin – Glam Affair at The Dressing Room - Leah MedTan in Spring Breeze
Eye Makeup – Fashionably Dead at Collabor88 – Twiggy
Lips — M.O.C.K. Cosmetics – Burnout Lipshine (group gift, 100L to join. SOOOOOO WORTH THE LINDENS, LADIES!)
Eyes – IKON – Utopia Eyes in Pale Trojan Blue