The C-word

I don't use the C-word. It makes me wince and I don't really think it should be spoken in mixed company. I mean, we all have various levels of tolerance of things that may or may not be an assault on our ears, and the C-word is kind of touch and go. As such, I vowed that I would never say the C-word in this blog.

Unfortunately today I have to break that vow, hopefully just this once:

CHICKEN!

In real life, I have two cats, a dog, a bird, a turtle and a hermit crab. At times it can be sort of a hellish Dr. Doolittlish existence, especially when they all need to be cleaned and fed at the same time. There are days when I spend more money at the pet store than I ever have at Nordstrom, and although I can't offer you a lot of small talk on careers and romance these days, if you swing the conversation around to pets, I'll be the life of your party.

Despite the startling litany of species, my current menagerie is HUGE progress for me. I used to collect stray men instead.

Because I usually retreat to Second Life to escape the current horrors of my real life, the last thing I want to do is get attached to and be responsible for a virtual pet.

That's why I originally rolled my eyes and covered my ears at the whole chicken thing . . . until my friends started selling their radioactive-looking chickens for up to $4,000L . . . and using that money to buy Stiletto Moody shoes.

Suddenly they were no longer chickens in my eyes. They were beautiful, expensive shoes just waiting to be hatched.

I raced to jump on the chicken bandwagon, but unfortunately a little too late I think. Those rare chickens for which people once paid big lindens seem to no longer be as hot a commodity -- and even if they were, I don't seem to have much luck breeding them.

(OMG, I just used the word "breeding.")

Last night, my chicken Meara laid her first egg. It's a beautiful, beautiful . . . ordinary brown one. :\



Oh, brown and grey, I mean. :\ :\

Who wants to buy it for a steal at 2000L?! *smiles widely, like a used car salesman*

That white ring reminds me of birth control and in fact it IS sort of a reverse birth control device: it keeps an egg from hatching. I'm speaking in simple laywoman's terms because I am not a chicken person. I don't speak the chicken lingo. I can't survive in the poultry realm without frequently consulting this handy guide that my friend Meara - for whom that chicken is named -- wrote. It's HERE.

I should have known that chicken would lay an unimpressive egg because -- and no offense AV Meara -- that chicken is a little off. She doesn't walk. She scoots around on her back or on her side, which frankly CREEPS THE BEJEEZUS OUT OF ME!



Not dead. Just walking her "chicken with a few screws loose" walk.

I don't know why I still have the chickens. I sort of initially viewed the chickens and my involvement with them the same way I viewed my first Sims family. When it first hit the shelves, I bought The Sims for the novelty factor: Wow, I can create people, control their every move, get them jobs, improve their skills, build and decorate their homes, earn money, buy them cool clothes, make them fall in love and - gasp! - even do the nasty??!! And get them pregnant!?

Later, I eagerly snatched up Sims expansion packs -- my favorite was Makin' Magic. But as soon as I had a huge house full of magical Sims and a yard full of dragons and gnomes, I started to get a little bored.

That's when I found a new joy: Finding creative ways to kill them.

OH STOP! If you've played The Sims, you've done it too! I know you have!! Building doorless walls around them and watching them scream and cry and wet their pants until they finally die of starvation. Putting them in the pool and removing all the ladders as they struggle to get out, flailing around and weeping until they die a horrible watery death. Making them cook elaborate meals with no cooking skills until they burn to death in a horrible kitchen fire.

Fun times!!! :D

At one point, my Sims house was haunted by about nine ghosts.

The pattern continued with games like Zootopia and Rollercoaster Tycoon. Rollercoasters that abruptly ran out of track. Tigers in poorly built cages that escaped and ate the gazelles and the gaping, screaming families.

Awesome.

When I heard that these sionChickens could die, I figured the novelty would eventually wear off and The Killing Game would begin.

But surprisingly, I can't bring myself to kill helpless chickens. I just can't. People, I guess yes. Animals, no.

(You're all reading this post in horror by now, aren't you?)

I refuse to get chicken crazy though -- although last night when Meara laid her first egg, I'll admit that I felt a proud sense of wonder. I think I'm more fascinated with this revolutionary advance in Second Life more than anything. Self-reproducing animals!!!

Please, please, please, can we hatch "companion men" out of eggs next? Or at least unicorns, if we have to stick with the animals thing?

In a previous post, I asked people if they were in Second Life for the long haul. Regardless of where my real life takes me, I may very well stay plugged in to SL for some time, just to watch all the innovation in the works. We have so many amazing minds here, probably because Second Life is a nurturing environment for the dreamers, the creators, the builders, the storytellers, and the people who are thinking light years ahead of the rest of us. It gets better and better, and I can't imagine what it'll be like five years from now if Linden Labs keeps it around. I haven't even been in world for a full two years and I'm astounded at how much more advanced SL is today than it was the day I first set my blocky foot down in Orientation Island.

Anyway. This post is getting long. Just a couple more things.

I bought myself one of them fancy chicken houses ($375L) at Benedict & Florentine yesterday. (insert country bumpkin accent here)



I blew it up to be almost as big as my house. That glittery glass divider (to keep the males from fighting) is the first thing I've ever built in Second Life (laugh). YES, I know it doesn't fit perfectly. They figured out how to get around the perfect one somehow. That yellow anger bar means that my chicken El Sopho is almost ready for sexy time. Chickens like rough, angry sex, apparently.

I have so much stuff in my yard now that I have absolutely no prim allowance left for the inside of my house. It's basically a $2000L changing room.

And here's my favorite dress of the moment. It's called Pierrot Dress from I Love 13. It costs $390L, which is why I looked at it, agonized over whether to buy it, decided not to, left, then kept thinking about it, and finally went back and bought it. That's just wrong, but this dress is oh so right.



It also comes in pink, for all you girly girl types out there. That great shape and lots of details make it totally worth the price. Even the ratty, uneven socks with prim ruffles are amazing -- and maybe one day a better photographer will come along and show them to you!

(No wonder designers all over the grid are smothering me with review items and clamoring to get their stuff on this blog.)

I guess I'll leave you with this deep, final question:

Now that it's all the rage to run around SL looking like Lady Gaga, when is someone gonna make the SL version of THIS outfit:

(Photo courtesy of someone who is not me, pilfered from a Web site where it obviously was pilfered from somewhere else.)

Check back with me in a few weeks and maybe I'll have made one out of chickens.

*runs like hell from SL's version of PETA*

*blush* and stuff

It's funny how, when frozen in time, a simple dance move can look like a bizarre mating ritual. Watch as the big strapping man stands there looking down in confusion while the scantily clad woman smiles coyly and wiggles around.

Keep your eye on that Gypsy Lady dress from SySy's Designs though!



It's perfect for dancing on the beach with a mysterious stranger.

But let's pause for a moment while Emerald looks at those clunky wedges from Shiny Things and winces in embarrassment . . .

*wince wince wince wince*

Don't get me wrong -- I love those shoes. It's just that a lovely flowing garment -- in motion on the beach with an attractive male, nonetheless -- calls for barely-there sandals or better yet, no shoes at all.

But there's no way in hell I'm letting a man see my creepy, blocky AV feet.

In my defense, the dancing thing was spontaneous. One minute I was wallpapering my living room and the next minute I was helping a friend -- YES, before you get all scandalized, he's just a friend -- test a dancing . . . thing. I don't really know what the technical name for it is. But it was cool.



I kept this picture dark on purpose to conceal the identity of my male companion.

(Yeah right. *kicks imaginary camera* "Bad camera!")

Note that I changed shoes mid-dance. That takes talent.



I know it's killing you, but I'm not telling you who that man is. I could scream, "FANGIRL!" but that would be undignified. And unfortunately for you, I don't dip and tell. And that is a dip, by the way -- not a vampire bite in progress.

Yep, if you're a high-profile guy and you're hanging around with me, I'm not gonna go running around blabbing your name or any of your personal details.

I'm just going to take about 80 photos of you and plaster them all over my blog instead.

Are you still watching the dress?



YES. The one photo that turned out to be halfway decent was a photo I affectionately call "Dork Dance."

Don't look at that stupid look on my face. Look at the dress. If the combination of blue and yellow isn't your thing, it also comes in beige and orange, and rose and lavender. Cost: $275L for gorgeous, flowy hand-drawn goodness.

I love that dress, and now it has sweet sentimental meaning attached to it. I'm putting SySy's Gypsy Lady dress right next to my Thusoras Golden Girls T-shirt in my inventory folder called "My Favorite Clothes EVER!" and I'm not just saying that because . . .



*Points to self and mouths, "SYSY'S MODEL, Y'ALL!"*

Woot! What an honor. I love her work.

Hey, that's my new wallpaper too, by the way.

And since you've endured all those "look at me dancing on the beach with - GASP - a man" photos, I'll give you some News You Can Use, as editors around the globe are so prone to demanding.

If you click HERE you'll find a big fabulous Mansion House on Xstreet for only $50L or, if you prefer, 52 cents (USD). I heard a rumor that this house costs $1,999 inworld. Snag it and stick it in your "Houses" folder. (Yes, I know you have one.) You never know when you're gonna need the biggest damn house I've seen in a long time. Be sure to check out all the photos. And note that the builder includes a Slurl to a demo inworld.

I bought that house. I haven't rezzed it yet. I didn't even check out the demo. I just like that warm, fuzzy feeling of knowing that I have what looks like a 14-room house in my inventory.

And as long as you're over on Xstreet, if you click HERE, you'll see something not so much cool as it is disturbing. First there was body oil. Next came body glitter. Now apparently we have -- drumroll, please -- body sweat. Or actually "Wear A Sweat," as it's called in the enticing photos.

I don't understand this sentence in the product description at all: "This item unifies the incongruity of the scene (like dry body in the rain) and perhaps makes a better life in a thinkable SecondLife situation."

(I'm glad because all this time I have really felt like my thinkable SecondLife situations were missing something.)

Nor do I understand this apparent benefit: "Taking a sunbath in a wet body after you enjoyed swimming at the beach makes you feel full" . . .

-- what?? --

. . . which, by the way, comes right before "Accentuate your heated body in the club scene."

Which is brilliant because always when I'm dancing in Second Life clubs, I long for some sweaty armpits and hair plastered to my forehead, just to make it all seem even MORE real.

To be fair, the creator is somewhat noncommittal about the sexy factor:

"Maybe you can add spice to your bedroom life."

Yes, maybe. And then again, maybe not.

And Furries, I'm sorry, but once again you must suffer discrimination:

"Very important matter! We don't recommend this item for use on furry skins because these items are made for popular medium tone skin colors which have smooth gradations."

You're not popular or medium or smooth enough, Furries. And it's "Very important!" that you grasp that matter!

I might start a new feature in this blog called "Emerald Makes Fun of Stuff on Xstreet and Gets Even More People Mad at Her."

OK.

Sadly, I must go end the life of a mosquito in my real-live room now.

Thanks for reading!

Black Swan (and "How the Lindens Had Me by My Imaginary Walnuts")

(Um, yeah, this picture wasn't turning out, there's a snowman's butt behind my left ear, and I got tired of messing around with Windlight settings, so I made that face to express the horror of my photography skills, gave up and just hit "Save.")

Last night, I snuck over to Black Swan for a sneak preview of all the fabulous creations in Rezzable's latest and *sniff* last fashion show, Swan Song. I ended up pretty much pillaging the vendor area (there's gotta be a better word for "vendor area").

I had to promise not to blog any of my outfits before the fashion show at noon SLT today at Black Swan. If you miss today's event, no worries. Two other fashion shows will take place at 2 p.m. Aug. 2 and at 6 p.m. Aug. 17, both SLT time of course (because really, does any other time zone matter?).

So anyway, per instructions, I'm not showing you my purchases. I'm just saying that I spent a fortune. In my opinion, the designers really outdid themselves this year. There's something for everyone, and all of it is fantastic. Bravo!

Now let's get back to the "I spent a fortune" part of that sentence up there. Although I spent quite a bit, I actually toned down the Black Swan shopping this time. I used to go mad with lust at these shows, snatching up almost every expensive and extravagant gown with the rationalization, "It's not just an outfit. It's an art piece specifically created for a remarkable event, possibly not to be sold again."

And now, three shows later, I'm left with "Black Swan" inventory folders full of, yes, exquisite works . . . but many of which I've never worn. Some of them are gorgeous but impractical -- for instance, where can I wear Eshi's memorable ballerina-inspired creation? It's Second Life, so I guess the answer is wherever I want, whenever I damn well please, but as you can see from my previous post, at heart I'm a "jeans and funny T-shirt" kind of gal.

So last night as I was once again dropping lindens left and right -- albeit this time with a more "will I really wear this dress?" perspective -- I vowed not only to make an effort to wear all these purchases, but to also wear ALL my previous Black Swan purchases during the upcoming weeks, even if I'm gonna be waltzing around covered from head to toe in feathers at times.

Since I can't wear a current Black Swan fashion in this post, in the photo at top I'm wearing Baiastice's B Synergie Black Swan outfit from (I believe) the first show, along with Tuli's Black Swan skin (maybe from the second show). You can't see the skin very well in that photo, so here's a big damn picture of my face to break up this text:



And yep, today was the first time I've worn either of those creations since I bought them. And OOPS I cheated. I AM wearing one of last night's finds. I'm just not telling you what it is.

All this Black Swan babbling leads me to "how the Lindens had me by my imaginary walnuts." (Sorry, I just couldn't put the word "balls" in a headline.)

Whenever I think about killing my SL account as a self-imposed tough-love tactic, (emotions and friends aside) I think about ALL the MONEY I've spent in Second Life and it stops me in my tracks. I'm sure if I did the math I'd calculate that I've spent more than $500 USD at the least to *cringe* around $1,500 at the most.

And then I think, "My God, how can I delete something in which I've invested SO MUCH money??" Particularly in a place where, sadly, we can't donate the fruits of our inventories to a thrift store for new or financially strapped residents. If I killed my Second Life account, I'd essentially be deleting hundreds of real-life dollars worth of purchases.

For instance, the recent brief fling with Jon cost me about $30 USD for his makeover (see previous posts) . . . and then he took off. As much as I miss him, I also wince and think of the money I flushed down the toilet, particularly during these financially strapped times. (Yeah, that's what I get for being a Sugar Mama.) If a $30 break-up causes that kind of financial regret, think how I'd feel if I deleted MY whole avatar!

So YES, for a while I thought, "Wow, the Lindens are smart business people. They really have me by the balls now, considering the extent to which I am financially (not to mention emotionally) invested in their virtual world."

But this morning I figured out a way to justify my accumulated SL spending . . . and even a way to peacefully let go of Emerald Wynn when it's finally time. I only say "when it's finally time" because I can't imagine staying active in Second Life for years and years. I just can't. I used to love my life. It's my mission to one day love it again, so much so that I want to spend every waking moment soaking it up. While many of you have managed a healthy incorporation of Second Life into your real lives, I admit that for me Second Life primarily is a form of escapism, procrastination and, yes, a way to fill some (hopefully temporary) voids in my life. But it also provides me with friendship, laughter and a creative outlet, so it's serving a valuable purpose right now. When I do leave it for good, it will be with gratitude.

So while I'm at it, I have a question for you, and I'd love your feedback: "Are you in Second Life to stay, meaning, now that you're here do you think it'll always be a part of your life?"

On letting go, my thinking is this: I live by Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace plan, and if you're unfamiliar with it, you might want to Google it and look into it. It's helped me significantly reduce my debt and get my spending organized and under control, even now when I'm working part-time.

Per this money management plan, I set aside an appropriate amount of money each month for recreation. When that money runs out, I'm done with recreation. My Second Life lindens come from that budget line.

There were times in the past when I'd spend large amounts of my recreation budget on Broadway shows and expensive meals. Think about it -- a decent ticket to a Broadway show costs more than $100. A lavish meal with friends and lots of drinks can cost $300 to $500, depending on the size of your group. These are extremely pleasurable experiences that aren't permanently tangible but can leave lasting memories and enrich a moment in time.

If I stop thinking of my avatar and my inventory as "purchased possessions" and start thinking of Second Life as a non-tangible (obviously) and, yes, fleeting (in the grand scheme of things) form of recreation -- as is a beautiful play, a thrilling extended vacation during which we make lifelong friends, or an excellent multi-course meal shared with loved ones -- I believe that one day I'll be able to let go of my thousand-dollar SL experience with love and no "OMG I spent sooooo much money there!" regrets and think:

"Wow, what a beautiful trip that was."

Use your Thusoras! (and slap something around for me please)

If you're like me and you take sort of horrible photos, don't really have a decent photo studio/backdrop, and hate digging through all your unsorted poses for the perfect ones, then maybe -- like me -- you collect posing furniture and props, which frankly still don't guarantee decent photos but at least take the edge off the bad ones . . . a little.

WOOOOO! That was a long sentence. But you liked it! I know you did!

If so, you'll be excited to know that Baiastice's Behavior Body store currently has three fun posing seats out for a whopping $1L each. That stool up there -- with 14 sits in it -- is one of them. Yeah, I picked kind of a weird pose for that photo . . . but I think Tyra Banks would approve.

This post really isn't about furniture though. It's about the awesome store Thusoras.

[UPDATE: Whoops - looks like the L.A. Street Scene store is closed for renovations. Try the other location at the Cupcake sim if you want to check it out.]

In fact, that "Total B8be" Golden Girls T-shirt from Thusoras is one of my favorite articles of clothing. If my prefab were on fire, I would grab the bunny, the aquarium, my Random Calliope pieces and that shirt and run. Yep, Sophia from The Golden Girls makes my list of "top five things I would pull from a burning SL building." (I haven't figured out the fifth thing yet. Maybe my chicken named Pradella.)

I love designer Alexandria Paine's sense of humor and I think I own just about every T-shirt that Thusoras sells (50L each). She'll also make custom T-shirts, according to her notecard.

Dolly Parton is another fav:



The back says, "My heart belongs to Dolly." And that's another $1L Behavior Body posing chair. I think the fact that I just tossed the chair on the beach really gives the photo a carefree air. (That was a joke.)



Laugh out loud.

Ironically, if I scoot my boob slider too far to the right, Dolly's face gets a little distorted. And HEY, I finally found an SL hairstyle that looks like my RL hair: the new Julie by Dernier Cri, shown in these photos. (That's "Julie II." Just "Julie" with bangs also is included with purchase.) Do you love it? I do! I'm starting to love my RL hair as well. Being broke brings out the sexy beast in me, apparently. Maybe it's an inherent survival mechanism.

Here's the third chair from Behavior Body and another Thusoras T that cracks me up:



Nope that's not an internal organ -- it's a corn dog, as in Corn Dawg. I have no idea why Alexandria (whom I've never met) wanted to put a corn dog on a T-shirt but it worked, because when I saw it I giggled madly and bought it. And you guessed it, that's the third $1L chair from Baiastice. The legs are white. A better photog with more masterful camera skills would've gotten the whole chair in the pic, but I never promised you a rose garden here.

Speaking of gardens, I'm sick of watermelons. You know me -- at the very last minute I cracked and got all competitive about embarking on and finishing the Slice of Summer gridwide hunt. It took me about 24 hours total (not nonstop, I'm not that big of a loser) to finish it, even with my Treasure Hunt Radar and a (shhhhh!) um *help* sheet. I gave up on Sway's Creations -- yes, I clicked all the watermelons by the photo booth. If anyone knows what the hell is going on there, please let me know. My life just doesn't feel complete with that hole in my hunt folder.

This hunt is worth the time though. Every participating store is quality. There are some REALLLLLLLY cool prizes, like this Watermelon Summer Pavilion with swing and waterfall from The Sea Hole. (OOPS! Did I just give you the direct Slurl to the prize location? Maybe, maybe not -- use at your own risk.)



I like it in here.



If you're pickin' watermelons and you need my "help sheet," let me know.

I have a wild urge to try to finish the Cinderella's Lost Slipper Hunt AND this month's Gone Fishing hunt, although by my calculations it'd take something like four straight days without stopping. I doubt I'll pull it off.

I don't have much else to say except to give a shout out to my friend Heidi, who killed me yesterday when I ran into her at the new Doux Petit Dahl mainstore location.



[9:51] Heidi Halberstadt: I'm sorry, hun, but my babysitter is in jail, so I had to bring the baby...babies...offspring.

Laughter.

You rock, Heidi, seriously.

OH and hey everybody, if you're reading this post before midnight SLT on July 26 and you have a free minute, could you swing by this MM board (follow the beacon) and give it a slap?:



I want that wedding chapel. If I ever get the damn thing (I've been slapping that board for days), I might tear down my icy kingdom and rent out my parcel as a beachy romantic wedding spot. Ha ha!

But seriously, I'm an ordained minister in real life. Should you need it, I can baptize you, marry you and bury you. And I'm pretty sure my spiritual powers translate across virtual boundaries.

So holler if you need an exorcism.

(Lemania Indigo)

Mash Up: Amelia + Apology = New Post (sorta)

I keep Reasonable Desires Costumes & Lingerie in my Picks because the lingerie is lovely and the Picks rewards gifts are gorgeous. To be honest, I've never really looked at the costumes there. But this Amelia the Pilot outfit ($199L) beckoned to the sentimental sap in me because my first book report (in second grade, maybe?) was on Amelia Earhart and I've been a fan of hers ever since. I was morbidly fascinated by her disappearance as a kid, and now as an adult I'm intrigued by the continuing discussion of what really happened to her.

That aside, she was quite an inspirational woman. I probably should have said that first. Oops.

How cool that Reasonable Desires created this fashionable tribute to her, which includes a scarf, a button-up shirt that I'll wear with a million other outfits, snazzy belted pants (ha ha ha -- your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to use the word "snazzy" today), a leather jacket with fur collar and cuffs, and that great aviator hat up there.

I thought it was pretty innovative, actually, because how often do you find yourself saying, "Where can I get an Amelia Earhart costume?" Mystery solved now. You're welcome.

I took down my last post because I didn't realize it would be fodder for raging Lemania Indigo fanatics. It's time for you people to moooooooooooove on now.

One wacko in particular has vowed to torment me until I remove both of my posts about Lemania Indigo and Lestat Reuven. Hey, guess what? NOT GONNA DO IT! In fact, badly spelled threats with horrible punctuation and "text talk" just make me wanna mention her in every post I write.

Lemania Indigo Lemania Indigo Lemania Indigo Lemania Indigo

On a serious note, I was horrified to recently discover that Lemania and Lestat banned almost every person who left a supportive comment on either of those blog posts. I'd like to apologize to those readers who spoke up and consequently got persecuted for their opinions. One reader was particularly upset because she shops at [AV] Vlodovic on Lemania's sim. I'm so sorry -- for the commenter and for that store. Wow, what a thoughtful way for you to treat your vendor renters, L&L.

How funny that I once praised Lemania for her patriotism in this blog. Apparently she only champions the American values of freedom of speech, thought and expression if it helps her sell clothes or drives traffic to her sim. Lemania Indigo supports freedom of speech! . . . but only if you speak words she agrees with. Everybody applaud as she runs through amber waves of grain with the American flag sailing proudly over her head!

I'm done talking about her.

Let's talk about a talented designer instead.

(Yep, that was mean. Keep pushing me. I get meaner.)

I'm going to a (RL) White Party tomorrow night. I told my mother about it and she got mad because she thought I was talking about a party for "white people only."

I've been using the word "horrified" a lot lately, and I'm gonna use it AGAIN: I don't know what's more horrifying -- the fact that my mother so quickly assumed that I was talking about some kind of weird racist cocktail party or the fact that she thought I would actually go to one. Sheeesh, she's been living in the South for too long. :(

Anyhoo, it's a party that calls for all-white attire, not people. In fact, my date is Vietnamese. And I wish I could snap my fingers and magically manifest SySy's Sexy in White dress (and those boobs) for this shindig.

OK, that pic sucks. I don't have the patience these days -- sorry. I don't even have furniture in my SL house. That's how much I really don't give a damn at the moment. I just want to stick around until my chickens have sex, then slaughter them all and take a long vacation.

That dress was a generous gift during Shopping Cart Disco's Reader Appreciation Day, BUT the good news is that the lovely SySy Chapman just gave it out to everyone in her Subscribo. If you go slap it, it's probably still in there. What are you waiting for? Go go go!

Thank you, SySy!

I have to go. Bye.

I so wanted it to be over

When I wrote a post last week expressing my opinions on Lemania Indigo's Prozac Hunt, I expected some chiding remarks, I expected some "lighten ups" and I expected people to disagree with me.

What I didn't expect was verbal violence. I've been called every name in the book this week -- some that I've never even imagined. I've been told to die. I've been told to overdose on drugs. I've been told that I'm ugly, I suck and I'm a horrible writer.

The icing on the cake was this classy and OH-SO-PROFESSIONAL note I just found in my inventory from Lemania's business partner, Lestat Reuven. Let me start by saying my bad for always assuming Lestat was a man. I believe, judging from her 1st Life photo, she is in fact a female. But if she is a guy and I'm just hella confused, please excuse the incorrect pronouns.

Apparently she dropped this note on me several days ago. Not sure how I missed it.

Let's read it and then I'd like to say something. And please excuse the language -- it's not mine:

---------------------------------------------------------

Blog:

Read the blog, did you happen to click on the sign or bottles to see who was creator before jumping on Lemania?

It was MY idea, my bottles, my sign. (Some investigating blog work there.) If you are so inclined, retract about Lemania being tacky, tasteless and the other mean things you said about her. You dont like mean people...guess what ME EITHER.

This is SL... I do not have to be politcally correct..and Im not. Yes, I'm the tastless one, the one with no scruples, no concious...her business partner, the one who does bite.

You know all the good things she does, but the bitch you that you are, find one fault and attack. Typical woman, jealous envious cunt ....yep, put this in your blog. I don't give a shit...you aren't shit to me...just another cartoon running it's mouth because it cannot create in SL...well, I take that back, create havoc and hurt feelings.

You blogged it without telling her first, isn't that some blogger code, you send the link when you blog them.....and let them respond in your blog? You closed her off access so she could not.

Wasted enough time on you...few more moments to ban your stupid insensitive ass , mute and carry on.

Next months hunt? Bloggers with no writing skills hunt....guess the photo on the front!

Lestat Reuven

Almost forgot .....why don't you do something meaningful and go out and protest in "real life" make a difference on this Earth. Mean spiteful women never cease to confound me.

If any of this is taken out of context and blogged, (meaning parts of it or words left out) shit will hit the fan. This is being sent to group also.

-----------------------------------------------------------

Nope, Lestat, I didn't leave a word out of it. Not one charming, misspelled word. Or the bad punctuation either. And are you threatening me up there? It sure sounds like it.

I've had enough.

I've read my original blog post quite a few times since this Lemania Indigo storm rained down on my head. In it, I posted a letter that stated my opinion and the reasoning behind it. I summed up Lemania's response in a paragraph that, despite her protestations, is exactly that: an accurate summary of the longer reply she posted in my comments. I made a sarcastic comment about a future breast lump hunt. I hinted that she has so many hunts because she's trying to get rid of old inventory.

That's it.

I didn't say she's a horrible person. I didn't say she's an untalented designer -- in fact, I called her a passionate visionary in my original letter to her. If you've read this blog for some time, you know that I've promoted and publicized many of her past hunts here. I called her a brave and commendable woman when she gave out Tea Party tea bags. I've worn her gowns in some of my posts.

This has never been an anti-Lemania blog. We're talking about one post reflecting one incident when I simply disagreed with the name and nature (searching for prescription bottles) of her hunt.

What terrifies me is -- sorry Lestat, not the violent, threatening letter that you, a supposedly professional business owner dropped on me -- but this widespread "if you disagree with my opinion, you're a horrible person who deserves to die" mentality.

News flash: If you're in the public eye, whether as a creator or a blogger, there are going to be people out there who don't like your work, your words, your opinions. I accepted this fact when I chose a RL career as a writer. And when someone disagrees with something I write here, I try to handle it as graciously as possible. I don't usually sling insults. I may however respond with dark wit or sarcasm.

But the fact that you do not agree with every word I say does not demean your worth, at least in my eyes, as a human being.

I patronize many of the vendors on Lemania's sim. It saddens me that because of this "I'm banning you because you dared to publicly disagree with me" attitude, I can no longer shop at those stores. That's an extremely kind way for you to treat your renters, Lestat -- very considerate of you.

Originally I wasn't going to post this letter from Lestat Reuven because I wanted this mess to be over with. Ironically, I have a lot of Lestat's furniture in my home. I've always been a fan of her work. There are posts on this blog that showcase some of my favorite pieces of hers.

I wasn't going to post Lestat's letter, but you know, I changed my mind. Read it, enjoy it, and yeah, I encourage you to participate in Lemania and Lestat's apparent upcoming "Bloggers With No Writing Skills Hunt," featuring my AV's photo on the poster.

I'll just leave you with this simple question:

Is this really the type of person -- a self-professed business partner with "no scruples, no concious" [sic], as Lestat so eloquently states in her letter -- who deserves your hard-earned lindens?

Petal pusher

You'd think I'd be the last person to promote a Shopping Cart Disco event right now, but my talented friend Aisuru Rieko of Beloved Custom Designs is one of several generous vendors who's giving away a gift tomorrow on SCD Reader Appreciation Day.

See that rosette skirt up there? I love it so much, I've been wearing it for three days. Join the Shopping Cart Disco Readers group to get it, courtesy of Aisuru, for $1L tomorrow (Friday). More information over on this SCD post HERE.

Thank you, Aisuru!

And yeah, I joined the group. I was a little disappointed in the group tag: Trolley Dolly. I expected something edgier from SCD, like Disco Baller. Disco Ho? Disco Diva? Hell on Wheels? Rag Tag? (GET IT? . . . We call gossip tabloids "rags"? . . . No? OK.)

I could go on and on all night with really bad group tag ideas. They should've called me.



That skirt is scripted with a menu of 17 COLOR OPTIONS to choose from. I'm wearing dark red. (To see it in its "pretty in pink" incarnation, check it out over on the Ch'Know Style blog right here.)

I've paired it with League's Bella Disastre long-length top (from a set of three lengths for $185L) and the Bella Disastre Arm Set ($165L). Those laddered stockings also are from League. I told you I'm trying to buy the whole store.

A few people have asked me about those Red & Black Goth Laced boots. They're FREE at Vinyl Cafe right now. Check the back:


(Pose: The Pride mirror from Lost Angels' Seven Deadly Sins set)

And here's a gratuitous "Wow, this new skin looks hot on me" shot:


(Skin: Misty in Emo [Medium] by League; Hair: Barbie Beatdown in Dirty Blonde from Posh; Tattoo: Free chest and back butterfly tattoo, located over the door inside Minajunk)

Next topic!

Hey, I was pleasantly surprised by all the "NOOOOO! NOT YOU!!!!!" IMs I got after that last "I cracked and bought some damn chicken eggs" post.

Don't worry. I waited and waited for an egg to hatch -- when it finally did, the chick rolled out of it dead. A green message proclaimed it a genetic failure. That's what I get for buying a cheap outdated starter pack off XStreet.

I cried, not just for the chick, but for all of humanity.



Dear Maitreya, please feel free to use this photo in your next ad campaign.

"Maitreya: We keep you kickin' even when you gots no chicken!"

My talents are totally being wasted in Second Life. I really should be making big lindens for writing shoe slogans.

I got a few more chickens but regardless of gender I named them all Buck Rogers so my SLife as a chicken herder really is confusing right now and that's all I'm gonna say about them The End.

Cracking under pressure

Right when I hit this hellish, hellish time in my real life where I'm sort of thinking a lot about my EGGS and how I haven't used them and how I maybe only have . . . I don't know, 5? 7? . . . years left to get knocked up at a socially acceptable and logistically reasonable age, EVERYONE IN SECOND LIFE seems to be talking about their eggs too.

They're talking about those bleep-bleep, bleepity-bleep, mother-bleepin' sionChickens though. (I'm trying to clean up my language.)

Which is a good thing, I guess. Because I think the grid would crash if we all started bitching about our ovaries as much as people are talking about their chickens.

I tried to resist. This isn't the first time I've had to stand strong against Second Life social pressures. It's lonely when everyone I know except me has a pixelated partner, but the bunny and I are hanging in there.

Singles, FTW!

*wanders off to check her eHarmony page . . . . . . . *

OK.

So the cracking started when I went over to my friend Aisuru's store Beloved Custom Designs this morning to pick up one of the glowy trees she does so well:



Emerald's Winter Wonderland is coming along really nicely, BTW. In fact, I know this is really uncharacteristic for this blog, but I have to digress for a minute. I bought an ice skating rink on XStreet that comes with winter trees that (oops) apparently emit 3,900 particles of snow per minute or something. And they're copiable. So I put them all over my land, since they're only three prims each.

I didn't realize they were snowing up the whole island. Probably lagging it too.

So I had my first homeowner (land renter) dispute the other day. Thank you, Sehra for letting me repost this chat. I've taken the liberty of correcting our type-os. (And I'm still laughing at the last sentence):

[2009/07/13 12:04] Sehra Kauffman: Dear Emerald... I love you.... but two of your trees are particle-snowing pretty far into my yard. My palm trees look chilly.... is there any way for those two not to snow? :D
[2009/07/13 13:03] Emerald Wynn: LOL I'm sorry - I'll move them. Sorry - I was outside drinking a beer with my dad. Sometimes I wander away from my computer and forget that I'm still in Second Life in one of the windows.
[2009/07/13 13:03] Second Life: User not online - message will be stored and delivered later.

(oops - I said "beer")

[2009/07/13 13:34] Emerald Wynn: OK I moved the two away from the side facing your house. I walked over to your land - I don't see any snow anymore over here. But let me know. Sorry bout that!!
[2009/07/13 13:34] Second Life: User not online - message will be stored and delivered later.

[2009/07/13 13:56] Sehra Kauffman: thanks friend :)
[2009/07/13 13:59] Emerald Wynn: np - I don't want to be an obnoxious neighbor
[2009/07/13 13:59] Sehra Kauffman: lol, I was just all.... sitting on my stump watching it snow softly around me and feeling like there was some kind of strange weather phenom going on
[2009/07/13 14:00] Emerald Wynn: ROFL

Maybe you had to be there, but every time I read that "watching it snow softly around me" sentence, I start giggling at my computer like a sad, crazy person.

I removed all the snow emitter scripts from my trees as well as the snow textures (and I even deleted some trees) but it's still a blizzard over there -- even in my house -- although fortunately not in Sehra's yard anymore.

Uh, so back to the eggs?

I went to Aisuru's store to buy that glowy evergreen up there (100L) and I noticed she had an egg stand there. And since they were red and green, I took it as a sign and bought one of each.



I'm tired of feeling left out.

Of sitting silently, smiling and nodding in ignorance while everyone chats about their chickens.

I'm tired of seeing chickens on almost every blog I read and feeling like I'm the only one who's not a member of some secret chicken society.

SO YES! YES, I CRACKED AND BOUGHT SOME EGGS TODAY!

But I promise you this one thing:

THIS WILL NOT BECOME A CHICKEN BLOG!!!

Not that there's anything wrong with people blogging about their chickens. It's just, you know me, I'm a defender of the weak. I don't want to inflict the same eggless anguish on people who are still holding out against the Chicken Revolution.

so . . .

What the hell do I do with these things now?

There's no instruction manual!

I looked for a Web site, but if you Google "Second Life" and "sionChickens" or "sion chickens," you'll just find about 19 pages of "chicken diaries."

I took them out of their egg protectors and put them on my porch. I watched them for a while but they didn't do anything.

Finally I got bored and logged off.

And yeah, I realize I'm blogging a lot these days. I've got Lemania Indigo down there slam-dancing around in my Prozac comments and I just want to write and write and write until I get that post off the front page.

I never wanted this to be a Lemania-bashing blog. In fact, I was gonna show some of my favorite gowns of hers today just to be nice . . . but I'm still a little PMS-y.

I'd rather write about my ovaries.

If you like that dress way up there, it's called Flower Dress-Mary(Green) from Mayuki Nozaki. It does a girl named Emerald proud.

I bought the 300L set, which includes two top options, two skirt options and two belt options. You can also buy the dress in just one of its two styles for 200L, but I liked the top from Dress One and the belt from Dress Two, so I just said, "What the hell?" and forked over the extra 100L to buy all of it.

It comes in other colors. I struggled with the decision between this one and the blue one. Struggled, I tell you!

And yeah, I like to give the prices in my blogs so you don't go all the way over to a store and end up crying or fainting if you're broke.

OK. I have to go clean out my turtle tank and pop-in on my own personal water aerobics class and swim-up pool bar (translation: a couple of water leg weights and a cooler of beer in my backyard).

(oops, I said "beer" again)

I was supposed to spend a day of shopping, drinks and a movie with my friend, but she called and canceled this morning with:

"Sorry, I guess I have to take my dad to get a new leg today."

:\

That's gotta be the most . . . well, that excuse just totally fits my Twilight Zone life right now.

Happy Bastille Day, my French friends!