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Tuesday, July 28, 2009

*blush* and stuff

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It's funny how, when frozen in time, a simple dance move can look like a bizarre mating ritual. Watch as the big strapping man stands there looking down in confusion while the scantily clad woman smiles coyly and wiggles around.

Keep your eye on that Gypsy Lady dress from SySy's Designs though!

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It's perfect for dancing on the beach with a mysterious stranger.

But let's pause for a moment while Emerald looks at those clunky wedges from Shiny Things and winces in embarrassment . . .

*wince wince wince wince*

Don't get me wrong -- I love those shoes. It's just that a lovely flowing garment -- in motion on the beach with an attractive male, nonetheless -- calls for barely-there sandals or better yet, no shoes at all.

But there's no way in hell I'm letting a man see my creepy, blocky AV feet.

In my defense, the dancing thing was spontaneous. One minute I was wallpapering my living room and the next minute I was helping a friend -- YES, before you get all scandalized, he's just a friend -- test a dancing . . . thing. I don't really know what the technical name for it is. But it was cool.

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I kept this picture dark on purpose to conceal the identity of my male companion.

(Yeah right. *kicks imaginary camera* "Bad camera!")

Note that I changed shoes mid-dance. That takes talent.

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I know it's killing you, but I'm not telling you who that man is. I could scream, "FANGIRL!" but that would be undignified. And unfortunately for you, I don't dip and tell. And that is a dip, by the way -- not a vampire bite in progress.

Yep, if you're a high-profile guy and you're hanging around with me, I'm not gonna go running around blabbing your name or any of your personal details.

I'm just going to take about 80 photos of you and plaster them all over my blog instead.

Are you still watching the dress?

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YES. The one photo that turned out to be halfway decent was a photo I affectionately call "Dork Dance."

Don't look at that stupid look on my face. Look at the dress. If the combination of blue and yellow isn't your thing, it also comes in beige and orange, and rose and lavender. Cost: $275L for gorgeous, flowy hand-drawn goodness.

I love that dress, and now it has sweet sentimental meaning attached to it. I'm putting SySy's Gypsy Lady dress right next to my Thusoras Golden Girls T-shirt in my inventory folder called "My Favorite Clothes EVER!" and I'm not just saying that because . . .

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*Points to self and mouths, "SYSY'S MODEL, Y'ALL!"*

Woot! What an honor. I love her work.

Hey, that's my new wallpaper too, by the way.

And since you've endured all those "look at me dancing on the beach with - GASP - a man" photos, I'll give you some News You Can Use, as editors around the globe are so prone to demanding.

If you click HERE you'll find a big fabulous Mansion House on Xstreet for only $50L or, if you prefer, 52 cents (USD). I heard a rumor that this house costs $1,999 inworld. Snag it and stick it in your "Houses" folder. (Yes, I know you have one.) You never know when you're gonna need the biggest damn house I've seen in a long time. Be sure to check out all the photos. And note that the builder includes a Slurl to a demo inworld.

I bought that house. I haven't rezzed it yet. I didn't even check out the demo. I just like that warm, fuzzy feeling of knowing that I have what looks like a 14-room house in my inventory.

And as long as you're over on Xstreet, if you click HERE, you'll see something not so much cool as it is disturbing. First there was body oil. Next came body glitter. Now apparently we have -- drumroll, please -- body sweat. Or actually "Wear A Sweat," as it's called in the enticing photos.

I don't understand this sentence in the product description at all: "This item unifies the incongruity of the scene (like dry body in the rain) and perhaps makes a better life in a thinkable SecondLife situation."

(I'm glad because all this time I have really felt like my thinkable SecondLife situations were missing something.)

Nor do I understand this apparent benefit: "Taking a sunbath in a wet body after you enjoyed swimming at the beach makes you feel full" . . .

-- what?? --

. . . which, by the way, comes right before "Accentuate your heated body in the club scene."

Which is brilliant because always when I'm dancing in Second Life clubs, I long for some sweaty armpits and hair plastered to my forehead, just to make it all seem even MORE real.

To be fair, the creator is somewhat noncommittal about the sexy factor:

"Maybe you can add spice to your bedroom life."

Yes, maybe. And then again, maybe not.

And Furries, I'm sorry, but once again you must suffer discrimination:

"Very important matter! We don't recommend this item for use on furry skins because these items are made for popular medium tone skin colors which have smooth gradations."

You're not popular or medium or smooth enough, Furries. And it's "Very important!" that you grasp that matter!

I might start a new feature in this blog called "Emerald Makes Fun of Stuff on Xstreet and Gets Even More People Mad at Her."

OK.

Sadly, I must go end the life of a mosquito in my real-live room now.

Thanks for reading!

8 comments:

nimil said...

emmy.. go to aoharu and buy a pair of the ethnic bijou sandles! they have a pair that would match that dress and they have prim feet that don't suck <3

Tymmerie Thorne said...

So what kind of shoes did Prad wear? I can't see them in the pics.

Emerald Wynn said...

ROFL, Tymm. Alas, that's not Prad, but that was funny.

*Emerald shudders in fear of prim feet* . . . But thanks, Nimil. Aoharu gives me a headache, but I'll go check them out. ♥

nimil said...

haha i fear the prim feet too but the ones from aoharu were mostly painless! they were my first, and unlike the many prim eyelashes i can never fit to my face the feet were pretty easy to fit to my legs! and they have demos :p which help

Eliza Wrigglesworth said...

I am DYING of curiosity now. DYING I tell you!

Congrats on the modelling job, and I finally caught up to my NWN reading and saw you on there again, so W00t! You go girl!

Alicia Chenaux said...

Go to SLink and get the barefeet! I loveeeee mine and they were so easy to tint.

Yay! We're models officially! LOL!

Oh, and if I know you and if I know who you fangirl...I have a suspicion as to who the mystery man is.

Krissy Muggleston said...

I know *exactly* who you are dancing with... the pony tail is a dead give-a-way. I won't say it here though... :)

Random Calliope said...
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