Radical honesty

This morning, my drill-sergeant father asked me what I was going to do with my life today. Yesterday I had to "lend" my parents another $2,000 to get them out of yet another financial jam. So I'm feeling a little stressed about my own finances today and, as such, I felt perfectly justified in saying to him, "Today I'm going to lie in bed, watch movies, drink your beer and play video games."

I was actually kind of shocked when he said "OK. Have fun" and left me alone. He asks me that question every day, and today was the first time I didn't scramble to come up with a list of impressive, productive tasks. Maybe radical honesty is good sometimes.

I came home to help my parents and figure out some of my own stuff with roughly $10,000 to my name. I've been home for a little more than three months and they've already drained me of about $6K. I didn't realize they were living in such a gigantic financial nightmare.

So yeah, I'm stressed out. I can't see a light at the end of the tunnel except to, um, suck it up and get a job (YES -- I've been putting it off), quickly get the hell out of here and refuse to give them any more money. They're gonna have to sink or swim. I think I'm just enabling them at this point.

Why am I writing this in a Second Life blog? Because if I type out my angst and shoot it into cyberspace, maybe it'll get it out of my head; and plus, there's no way in hell I could write this in a real-me blog. And also, today I did what a lot of women do when they're stressed about money, which is, um, shop. But I shopped in Second Life, so it's not like I went to Nordstrom and went wild or anything.

So yep, today I gave myself my monthly $30-that-usually-expands-to-about-$50 Second Life allowance -- I justify that money by saying I'd spend more in one weekend if I had an active social life.

I have a list of Hair Fair hair that I want to buy, including that spectacular Moon hair up there from the Milestone Creations booth (follow the beacon!). Can somebody give me a "HELL YEAH!" on that?

From that booth, I also bought Dragon Nest in blacks:



Is that a dragon in your hair or are you just happy to see me?

(Thanks, Heidi, for telling me about it!)

I'm really only buying the wacky and wild hair this year. I figure I can get the tasteful, pretty hairstyles any time, anywhere.

WOOOO! It's a good time to be shopping.

-- Biddle Boots is changing its store theme and having a 50-percent-off sale right now. About a year ago when these Electric Pink boots came out, I posted a pic of myself looking longingly at them (with their 800L price tag) and thinking, "Do I really need another pair of boots in my life?" Back then, the answer was no.

Here's a picture of me today, looking longingly at the same boots -- now at 400L -- and thinking, "Do I really need another pair of boots in my life?"



Shoot, I think the answer is still no.

And yikes, I'm worried that Arabella Steadham is going to think I'm a fashion stalker or something, because the other day was the second day in a row that I saw a dress on her Arabella's Amblings blog and rushed to get it. And in the same color, even. :(

But WOW, I love this new Bijou dress! I never want to take it off. Here's a shot of the back, kind of. I really didn't want to take too many detailed pics of it because I don't like to blognap topics. To see it in all its glory, check out Arabella's post on it.



And WOW again, I have a new view from my back deck! And YES, today I vow to run around all day with my Windlight sky set to "Gelatto." I also have a bad habit of starting sentences with conjunctions. *cue the Schoolhouse Rock music* (Sorry.)

Um . . . new topic:

-- While I was at Biddle Boots, I saw this chick dancing around outside in her Stiletto Moodys, looking at skinny-white-girl shapes. HEY, I'm just calling it like I see it! But I was kind of fascinated by her. Yes, these pics are awful. I need to work on my stealth-cam skills.







She had earrings with her name on them. I want! Where do you get those?

I am always in admiration of people who put a lot of thought into creating a character as opposed to just a trendy, pretty avatar. Unfortunately I put myself in the latter category, particularly since at the moment I'm just letting fashion bloggers do all the work as my personal SL shoppers.

I was impressed by this AV's vibe, but I did want to tell her to WATCH OUT for the big calves-meet-Stiletto Moodys dilemma:



Anyway.

-- House of Nyla also is having its annual half-off sale and I couldn't be more excited. I LOVE NYLA CHEEKY! When I was a noob, she dropped me a welcome message on my Second Life Profiles page -- laugh, that site is so lame -- and she's always so nice when I run into her in her store. Best of all, her real-life designs are so fab, and she does such an awesome job translating them to Second Life fashions.

Check out her RL Web site HERE.

-- Most of those insane June gridwide hunts end today. I only finished the Storybook Hunt. I thought about trying to finish Bedtime Treasures today (some of the prizes look cool), but my God, there are more than 200 stores. I'm including the links to the hunt Web sites in case you want to check out the lists of participating stores and prize previews and grab some today. Unfortunately I can't find a list of stores for the GL OMG hunt, but you can always turn to the fabulous Hunt Locations blog for hints and SLurls, at least.

(Dear Hunt Locations blog, I love you, so I'm SO SORRY to have to be the one to tell you that you have a type-o in your blog banner. *sad face*)

-- Fun in the Sun Hunt
-- Through the Looking Glass blog (yay, we have until July 4)

-- This post is getting long - what else is new? I'll close with a pic of me with my shamrock PlantPet. I have to admit, I don't think these PlantPets are as exciting as chickens. Also, to my horror, when I moved my PlantPet pot today, the plant seedlings didn't move with it, so I had to move each piece separately and I pretty much jacked up the whole thing. If you have one, watch out for that.

(Hair by Dark Mouse; sandals by Redgrave)

You could be dancing with Death right now

Photo courtesy of Lizzie Lexington

After months of procrastinating, I finally got my Singles Spotlight column done over on City Zen. To read about eligible bachelor Death Seetan (pictured above), please check out "You Could Be Dancing with Death."

And yep, I was worried that the name "Date with Emerald" would terrify people, so I've kind of temporarily renamed the column "Singles Spotlight." Actually I hate that name too. Ugh, I need help.

My thanks and apologies to Death Seetan and guest photographer Lizzie Lexington, who participated in the groundwork for the column at least a month ago, if not longer.

City Zen is looking for writers, by the way, particularly in the areas of Fashion, Travel, Music and SL News. If you're talented and you've got a hankering to share your insights and creative genius with the world, please check out the site's Job Opportunities page.

The salary is great karma, a wide fan base of appreciative readers, people screaming your name in public and begging for your autograph, and a plethora of "you're so damn awesome" blogger gifts from designers and content creators.

OK, I made up those last two parts. But it's still good fun.

If you want to be my next column victim or my next guest photographer, please drop me a note inworld.

I bet that I can make you believe in love and sex and magic

(OK, not really. I just needed a title for this blog post. Good song though!)

Only in Second Life can you walk into a store and overhear someone ask another person: "Hey, do you mind if I ask where you got that halo?"

Or only in Second Life can you see a scene like the picture above: people flying around the stars and grasping at them. And yep, those are stars. I gave up waiting for all of them to rez completely.

And if you're wondering why those people, myself included, were up there today, it's because those stars are loaded with free gifts from two of my favorite stores, Baiastice and Digit Darkes.

As part of the SL6B celebration, you can boogie on over to the Cyberfashionista SL6B Portal and wish upon some stars for fantastic fashions. Twelve of the stars and planets in that sky have beautiful presents for you.

Here are a few (not all) of them. I took these pics at the second-most-awesome SL studio ever: my back deck. And hey, I never promised you exquisite photography here, just nonsense. The hair in these photos is the freebie at the BishWear Hair Fair booth (follow the red beacon!).


Intrigue Flexi by Baiastice. (And no, I never take those Maitreya shoes off. I know you're sick of looking at them. I really hate changing my shoes for some reason.)

Violini by Baiastice

Hey, check out the simulated (not stimulated, but it looks like that too) nipples on this outfit (said that blogger with the boob fetish):

That purse is another Baiastice star gift. The name is too long for Lazy Me to type here. I think it translates to Purple Hypnotic Purse though. If you grab it, please tell me if the texture really looks like that, because I have a sinking suspicion that my new viewer is warping textures.

That skin is still Misty in Glam by League. I'm never taking it off.


Moulin Rouge lingerie set by Digit Darkes

Hey Marnix, here's a tasteful shot of my butt:

OK, back to the prizes:

Black/Silver Gem Brooch Heels by Digit Darkes.

(Hey, I changed my shoes!)

Opti Death by Baiastice.

It also comes with cool pattered stockings, not shown, as well as a "short" bra/bikini top option. In fact, yeah, take off the skirt, put on the little top instead of the long one shown and you've either got some cute skully undies or a little boyshort bikini set. Yay skullies! (That whole description sucked. Blame my hangover.)

The Previusly (yep, that's how it's spelled) by Baiastice

Twilight Dress in black by Digit Darkes

Sorry, I cammed way out for that shot. Trust me, it looks beautiful close-up. Many of these poses are from the Oh Baby! set from Pffiou! But I've renamed this particular pose, "Jilted Girlfriend says, 'Jon, if you're not coming back, at least come get your ducks and your cuddle deck lounger.'"

*kicks it*

Hey, Pffiou! is having a 50-percent-off sale because the store has moved to a new location HERE. So RUN and go stock up on poses!

BONUS: If you grab the last notice from Pffiou!'s subscribo, not only will it tell you about the move and the sale, but it also has this Useless Primmy Ugly Toilet in it.



LAUGHS.

I'm sorry, Laleeta, but that is OH SO WRONG.

Reach for the stars, kids!

And now I'm off to daydream about a cute guy I met in real life last night. *Types our true-love-forever relationship into existence on Emerald's Magic Blog.*

Shakes off the emo and puts on the party hat

Damn, it's been an emotional week.

This post is gonna be fast and, as such, I'm sure you'll be relieved.

Today I went to a Second Life Bloggers Meet-Up Party today, hosted by my friend Tymmerie, who's now the new events director for the group. (Thank you, Tymm!) Wow, I totally forgot I had a profile on that Web site. I need to update it.

I didn't stay very long. Nor did I take a picture of myself there. So I could be lying my ass off right now and you wouldn't even know. I think there were witnesses though.

The theme was Dress Like a Blogger and I really wanted to wear the Maitreya hair, Dolce glasses, Tres Very skin and CeCubic outfit I'm wearing in that NOW-VERY-RETRO blog banner for Emerald's Eyes up there. Back when I started this blog, I really did want to run around SL in intellectual glasses, carrying a notebook. That idea faded quickly.

I would have been the only person to get that joke though.

I did put the glasses on for old times sake though. If you care about the rest of that outfit (shown at top), I'm so very glad that Arabella Steadham blogged about that Sometimes I Just Look Fabulous dress ($145L) from Heartattack & Vine today. I don't know Arabella but I really love her blog, Arabella's Amblings. Her style really resonates with my taste.

That Half-Up Bun hair is one of the freebies at the Dernier Cri booth (follow the red beacon) at Hair Fair, and the Elois glasses -- with menu-driven frame color, tint, shine and more -- are from primOptic, the only one of my pay-for-play Picks selections that I would keep even if it weren't pay-for-play.

I also strapped a notebook onto my thigh. That Dirty Secrets Diary was the gift from Catnip during the Keys to the VIP Hunt. I do hope they sell it in store for those of you who didn't score it during the hunt, because it's really cool. It has a writing animation, which I use often.

"I'm watching you and writing down everything you do!"



"It's a lamp!"

(If you didn't get that reference, you haven't seen "A Christmas Story.")

I always feel strange at parties for bloggers, like someone's going to point at me and yell, "IMPOSTOR! GET OUT!" I'm not very well-known in the blogging community. I think maybe five people at most read this blog. So I went to that party a little sheepishly, worried that I would get bounced. Then a family emergency (translation: someone screaming at me to get off the effing computer) occurred so I had to split anyway. I don't think anyone really noticed. Ha ha!

Here are a couple more things you should know:

1. Egg game

Lately when I've been logging on during heavy lag times, instead of a ghostly white cloud, I'm showing up as an egg:



I drew the face, BTW. And the arms.

Sometimes I stay like that for quite a while and I wonder if everyone else sees me that way too. I really don't care, except it interferes with my sexy walk.

2. Nice shoes.

Here's what your fancy shews look like to me at crowded fashion shows:



Those are either prims trying to rez or some new fashion trend that I'm unaware of.

Shoot, I have to run. Ever since I rolled into this town, a bunch of aging cheerleaders from my high school graduating class have been bugging me to go out with them. I guess they've conveniently forgotten how mean they were to me back then. But hey, I'm not one to hold a grudge. And plus, I'm bored as hell.

In fact, I think it was just yesterday that I was telling my friend Quaintly how desperate I am to get out of the house and have some good old-fashioned girls-night-out fun. And wow, lo and behold, the invite came this morning. I'm really starting to think I have magic powers. Now I just need to start talking more about finding a job and growing a magnificent chest.

So anyway, I finally said "OK!" to the middle-aged cheerleaders tonight, but I'm a little nervous. I barely remember them. I spent a good part of the day peering at their now grown-up photos on Facebook. I hope I can find them in a bar. If not, I'll just look for a hot man.

Wish me luck, and ciao!

Please rewind

I'm in my room crying.

Downstairs, my father is bellowing about what an effing pervert Michael Jackson was, and how he hopes he's in "a special place in hell for child molesters right now."

If I were about 10 years younger, I'd probably go down and get in a good old-fashioned screaming match with him. Specifically, I'd tell him that there's probably a special place in hell for people who beat children too, and maybe he'll be able to wave across hell to Michael Jackson someday when he's in it.

But I'm older and wiser and tired and I've learned by now that there's really no point in fighting. Sure, you get the opportunity to say a bunch of ugly things to each other, but where does it really get you in the end?

I was at Hair Fair when a friend messaged me with the news that Michael Jackson had been rushed to the hospital, and I was still at Hair Fair when he was pronounced dead. People started shouting the news in open-chat in the candy-covered streets and I was struck by how truly bizarre that moment was -- sharing a shocking moment with virtual people in a virtual world.

And then ironically at the same time in real life, I was sitting in the room that once was my childhood bedroom, surrounded by walls that once were covered with Michael Jackson posters.

I don't know how I should be feeling right now. I feel heartbroken and sad, and then I worry that I'm mourning the death of a sicko pedophile and it makes me feel queasy.

I don't know if Michael Jackson really molested a bunch of young boys. In my heart, I want to believe that he was a just screwed-up man chasing the elusive childhood he never got to have, and that he surrounded himself with kids for that reason. I want to believe that his accusers saw an opportunity to take advantage of this weakness and went after him with dollar signs flashing in their eyes. But . . . I don't know.

There are things I do know for a fact though.

I know for a fact that I never really paid attention to music until I heard the song "Beat It" -- and I'll never forget that feeling because it was like something inside me woke up at that moment.

I know for a fact that I never wanted to dance until I saw Michael Jackson dance. And then once I started dancing, I never wanted to stop.

I know for a fact that some of my favorite young-teen memories are set to a Michael Jackson soundtrack:

-- A bunch of girls giggling in our socks as we try to moonwalk back and forth across my family's kitchen floor.

-- Running around the mall with my best friends looking for that one Michael Jackson poster, you know, the one where he's leaning in an open doorway, dressed in yellow, wearing a bow tie? Yeah, that one. I saved my allowance. I think it's at Spencer's.

-- Staying up late one night watching my mom as she sews a bajillion sequins on a white glove for me, because if you didn't have a white sequined glove in sixth grade, well, you sucked.

-- Sitting with my brothers in front of the television, our brand-new cable box set to MTV, fingers poised over the VCR, ready to jump and hit "RECORD!" the minute that "Thriller" video comes on.

-- My friends and I, begging my dad to buy us tickets to Michael Jackson's concert and grudgingly agreeing to let him come with us because he didn't want us going to a concert alone at our age. And then me -- at my first concert, Michael Jackson on the stage, my friends by my side -- watching my dad try to act cool as he gamely bops along to the music, trying his best not to embarrass the hell out of me and my friends. It was one of those moments you could freeze in your head, so I did, and I remember thinking, "This right here, right now, is a really good moment."

-- And years later, me alone and in school in Italy, a little shaky, trying to learn the language and wade through a new culture and figure out where to catch the bus and how to find my house in the winding streets of Florence. Me hearing that there was a new Michael Jackson album called "Dangerous" out and paying something like $25 U.S. bucks for a bootleg cassette tape that I bought from a guy in an open-air Italian market. And later, me getting on the bus and popping that tape in my Walkman and listening to the song "Jam" and feeling a little less homesick and a little less foreign.

I don't know. Then I grew up. And things got weird. They got weird for Michael Jackson and they got weird for me and . . . well hell, I grew up. That's all there was to it really. I stopped caring so much about music and started worrying about bills. And Michael Jackson, well, he started screwing around with his nose a lot and turned into something of a freak show. Maybe it's because we all grew up and left him behind. I don't know.

When I cried for Michael Jackson today, I cried for those pure and innocent times when life was good and our biggest worry was how far we could moonwalk and if we had enough allowance money to buy the latest Michael Jackson poster. I cried for those times when we would wait all day by the television just to see that Thriller video one more time. I cried for the singer who taught me to love music. I cried for the performer who made me want to dance. I cried for the soundtrack of my youth, now silent. For my generation, today was the day our music died.

Michael Jackson died today, and it really felt like part of my childhood died with him. And people might get outraged at that statement and say, "Think of the kids he probably molested -- he killed their childhoods before they really had one."

And that's when I go back to feeling confused about how to feel.

Michael Jackson is dead. Michael. Jackson. Is. Dead. Downstairs, my father -- apparently not as sentimental about that concert memory as I am -- is yelling gleefully. My mother is rummaging through boxes in the spare room, looking for my old still-in-the-box Michael Jackson doll (the one with the black jacket, not the red one) and wondering out loud how much we could sell it for. And I'm in my room crying -- and hoping that it's OK to cry.

This day sucked. I want a do-over.

Bish, please! (the wide-awake rewrite)

If you're reading this post RIGHT NOW, maybe you're as much of an insomniac as I am and maybe, like me, you're wishing you had some Ambien, Lunesta, a hard crack on the back of the skull, anything to knock you out for the night.

But there's hope for all of us! Do you have iTunes? Sure you do. If you have a little time and $9.99 to spare, I encourage you to hop over to the iTunes store (or this Web site, if you don't have iTunes) and check out Dr. Jeffrey Thompson. He's a cutting-edge scientist who's doing some remarkable things with music. He calls himself a "sound healing pioneer." I call him awesome.

Dr. Thompson embeds brainwave audio processes into ambient musical soundtracks. Listen to his soundtracks for a few minutes and your own brainwaves will lock onto and imitate these pulses, eventually resulting in your desired state of mind, be it focused, creative, meditative, introspective, intuitive, productive, relaxed or, in my case, sleepy as hell. HALLELUJAH!

I'm not gonna get into an explanation of alpha, delta, gamma or theta brainwaves here. But if you want to learn more about Dr. Thompson's work, read and browse HERE. And for the real heavy explanation of using binaural beats to produce altered states, click HERE.

Why am I writing about Dr. Thompson on a Second Life blog? Because most of us are hip and happening and into modern technology or we wouldn't be here. And also because lately I've been listening to his Natural Music for Sleep while I tool around on this blog or wander around Second Life at night, at least until it kicks in. Last night I slept a solid eight hours, which is DAMN MIRACULOUS for me.

I also listen to his Awakened Mind System in the morning and his Creative Mind System when I'm writing. Anything to drown out the sound of my father screaming at "The Price is Right" (oh yeah, you innocent contestants - there's a man out there screaming at your ass if you guess the wrong price for that foot fungal cream) and the bird squawking about Iran and the dog barking and the turtle splashing and the OCD neighbor moving his lawn for the 19th time this week (seriously) and . . . blah.

So yeah. Another way our minds are slowly but surely being controlled by computers, brought to you by Emerald Wynn.

Hey, let's talk about Hair Fair . . . but not too much!

If you want to see the fabulous hair available at Hair Fair 2009, there are several blogs out there showcasing it. Savoir Hair, actually, is the best blog for that, IMHO, and the official Hair Fair blog also fills you in on helpful tips and news and pics and etc.

Me, I'm just gonna throw out random observations. Really, would you expect anything else here?

If I were a "Project Runway" judge, I'd have to say that a lot of the designers seem to be playing it safe this year. I'm not seeing as much of the wild and outrageous stuff that I saw last year -- so much last year, in fact, that it inspired me to create an inventory folder called "Art Hair 2008." (laugh)

For example, who could forget last year's fabulous Baby Construct hair by Crimson + Clover?



Yeah, that was me last year.

Or these styles -- and my bad for being too lazy to dig around in my inventory to find them and identify the creators:



and



(Damn, I like that skin. I wonder what it's called and where it is in my inventory of 83K.)

Sadly, I haven't seen anything that FABULOUS yet, save for the LMAO Curio Obscura styles.

I still have one more sim to hit though, not to mention a mountain of gift bags to paw through and a zillion hair demos to try on. So stay tuned for my "freakiest styles of Hair Fair 2009" post, if I can muster one.

Forget the hair for a minute. Let's talk about the people. You read the headline "Bish, please!" and I KNOW you thought it was gonna lead to something juicy.

Unfortunately, I was just talking about this chick:



She looks fabulous, doesn't she? I'm glad she got DRESSED TO THE NINES for Hair Fair. With the purse, especially, because seriously, how could you NOT go to Hair Fair without a stylish handbag? And 90 bangles? And about 12 piercings? Not to mention shades, a big damn necklace and a face light that orbited her like a solar system? Oh and don't forget a catwalk AO. She struck a pose every three steps.

Grand total was an ARC of 3824.

Look, I'm actually not a member of the ARC police. I've heard people argue that the whole "Avatar Rendering Cost = lag" is a myth anyway. And it's hard to get mad at people for being decked out when the sim itself looks like my wildest candy store explosion dream come true. I mean, C'MON, that build is AWESOME this year! I'll take it over last year's hot dry Egyptian theme any day. But WOOOOOO! It takes a long time for those lollypops to rez, y'all!

(And thank you, Second Life, for making me crave candy like a mo-fo all day.)

I want to trade my beach house for a gingerbread house now. I think my landlady will let me if I can find one at 100 prims or less. (Emerald embarks on a new quest.)

The candy digression aside, that chick just irritated me. Call me a bitch. I don't care. I hate seeing America's Next Top Model hopefuls strutting their stuff at Hair Fair while I'm bald, barefoot and doing the duck walk just because I'm a rule-follower.

And as to the people riding prims around the place, well, rock on with that but just watch the plumber's crack, OK?



Crack is whack.

See, and now I feel mean. That person looks sort of sad too. :(

If this post seems rambling, unoriginal and disjointed to you, please blame my delta brain waves. They're in full swing right now and everything . . . seems . . . so . . . far . . . away . . . suddenly.

Goodnight!

A day in the life of a League loyalist (and "I got crucified")

Before I get started on this post, I'd like to say that in real life today I'm frantically trying to find three fanatic female Elvis bloggers. I recently got a fun gig writing for an AOL entertainment Web site and that's my first assignment. Tracking down prolific Elvis fans is turning out to be harder than I thought. So if you are one or if you know one, give me a shout please!

And now for SL frivolity.

I have this deep meaningful goal to one day own just about everything in the League store. Yep, I'm a League loyalist and I've been waiting forever for the new League skins to debut. I figured that if creator Nena Janus could transition her amazing texture talents from her clothes to the complicated realm of skins, the result would be pure win.

And she didn't let me down!

Granted, I got mixed reviews when I tried on the Kate demo in Medium:



I liked the fresh-faced "girl next door" quality, not to mention the artistry, but a friend took one look at it and said, "Pass on that. Not feminine enough for you." In defense of the skin, when I tried it on with its optimized shape, it looked smashing. It just didn't look so hot on my own shape.

Plus, my friend was right. I prefer glossy lips and a little more color. So imagine the GLEE when I tried on Misty (Medium) in Glam, shown at the beginning of this post and also below with its va-va-voom cleavage:



WOO! And yep, I bought that one. I was torn between this one and Misty in Fuchsia. Someday, Fuchsia, you will be mine.

These skins are 1100L each, and you actually get four skin options in each folder: two different body types -- the hubba-hubba cleavage above or a more modest (but still fabulously shaded) chest, as well as another version of each body type but with a hair base (cough, meaning on the scalp) included.

Shoot, did that sentence make sense? Probably not. I should have lifted the description from the notecard. Sorry.

Can we look at the cleavage again?



BAM!

Two more topics, numbered and subtitled for your reading ease!

2. Sacrilegious Shopping

I don't know why I let these gridwide hunts take on the mental proportions of an epic, "must-finish-or-die" religious quest in my head, but I do and, as such, I'm currently scrambling to finish The Storybook Hunt that ends in two days. (Only 40 more stops to go! *collapses*)

I guess that's why it was slightly ironic to me when I saw this really unusual camp pad at Electric Lady Land:



"Please stick to a cross for 10 minutes."

I don't know what was more disturbing -- the crucifixion camping concept or the fact that I actually did it for the following photo opp. (And yes, when I right-clicked the cross to hop on it, the menu option read, "Crucify!"):



That is so wrong. I'm going to burn in hell (even though I'm wearing the more modest League cleavage in that pic).

I'm probably never going to wear that prize dress either. YEAH, I camped the whole 10 minutes. I had to walk my dog anyway.

But hey, as for the dress I AM wearing, that cute little number is one of the latest releases at Sugarcube -- called Crazy Flowers dress. When I bought it yesterday, it was marked down to 100L for subscribo group members. How they knew I was a subscribo member, I'm not sure. It also comes with a non-belted skirt option and an empire waist baby-doll skirt option. Or maybe I don't know what the hell I'm talking about. There are three skirts to choose from. The End.

If you too end up running over to Electric Lady Land to get crucified, be sure to hit the freebie wall, which is full of beautiful intricate outfits with names I cannot pronounce. I drew my friend Prad in the picture because that's my thing now, drawing my imaginary friends into my pictures. I know you all want to be with me 24/7, but there's just not enough of me to go around right now. (That was sarcasm.)



Plus, Prad always begs me for hot freebie tips. :P

3. When you finally give up and fry those damn chickens . . .

Hey, look what I found! No longer do the chicken-haters of the grid have to feel shut-out from witnessing the miracle of fake life. Now we too can agonize over whether our "pet" is happy, sad, properly cared for, dying, etc., etc., etc.

PlantPets! PlantPets start out as little seedlings in a pot and, under your loving and watchful eyes, blossom into plants . . . with moods.



They range in price from 500L to 945L, and there are about 45 plant options to choose from in this particular PlantPet vendor over at Animate This. I screwed around with the kiosk for so long that the owner actually TPed in to see what the hell I was doing.

Oops.

But yeah, I caved and bought a shamrock PlantPet. Thank God it came with an instruction manual, which I'm pretty sure I'm gonna have to check frequently.



Those aren't fireworks. Those sparks mean that my little baby plant is happy. It apparently also will IM me when it's thirsty or feeling grumpy. Gee, I can't wait. :\

(Hey, I've been there, people. Pushed to the brink of insanity, a decade ago I brutally starved my Tamagotchi to death. I still feel a pang of guilt at the memory. And God help us, my spellcheck didn't even blink an eyelash at the word "Tamagotchi.")

These plants are cool so I wanted to share the joy and angst of being a plant parent with someone. My friend Heidi Halberstadt recently did something unbelievably nice for me, so um, Heidi, if you're reading, you have a little thank-you SURPRISE waiting for you in your INVENTORY! (she crowed gleefully, in a sing-song voice)

Don't let your chickens eat it, Heidi!

*laughs and runs away*

Pull me down hard and drown me in love

(Yeah, when I can't think of blog post titles, I just throw up the lyrics to whatever song is currently stuck in my head.)

I saw this creepy monkey yesterday at Retrology's My Heart Belongs to Daddy hunt and thought, "Man, I am having a really bizarre week."

Nice sweater, monkey.

I can't find the hearts for Flirt and Elate. But then again, I could barely move at that place when I was there, let alone see.

Blame the monkey!

Just blame everything on the monkey.

Celebrity Trollop wanted me to draw her in one of my pictures. I gave you hyooge knockers, Celebrity. And cool shoes.

Celebrity's blog currently has the Hair Fair layout and SLurls on it. Thank you, Celebrity.

Celebrity!

(LOL, I'm having such a problem with repetitive word usage these days, my English teacher would kill me and I'm really too tired to care right now and now this is becoming a run-on sentence.)

I'm going to try not to log in for a day, and then I'm going to try not to log in for two days, and then I'm going to try not to log in for a week, and then a month and then a year.

<--- will probably last six hours. (Update: OK, epic FAIL. Make that five hours. :\)

Love to all the good fathers out there on Father's Day. I miss my grandfather. During the last week of his life, we were talking about religion and he said, "It's not all bullsh*t, Erinn, I promise. I'll send you a sign when I get there."

Still waiting. :|

Yeah, that's my real name. Sometimes the name Emerald makes me want to toss cookies.

*tosses a cookie and runs off to elope with a monkey in a purple sweater*

Day 6: Emerald the Huntress yells, "QUIT IT!"

But first, a picture:



We throw "LOL" around a lot in conversations, but this Rococo Fantastico hair (450L) from Curio Obscura really made me Laugh Out Loud today -- enough to evoke a "What're you laughing at?" from the folks. (sigh)

(Privacy, kids. Privacy is priceless. If you have it, treasure it. And if at all possible, NEVER throw it away.)

Curio Obscura is releasing three new hairstyles this weekend at that fair that everyone's talking about. I'm buying all three of them. See them on Curio's most awesome blog HERE. And if you haven't been to that store yet, RUN.

(UPDATE: Rococo Fantastico will only be available at Curio's booth at the 2009 Hair Fair during the duration of the hair fair. Shoot that's too many hair fairs in that sentence. HAIR FAIR!)

And now for the "yelling."

The final Big Bad Blogger Challenge topic for today was, "What did you get out of your experience?" That's hard for me to answer because this week was an extremely painful one for me in both "lives." So every blog I wrote (except for one) was wrapped in a cloak of pain and highly charged emotions, and the aftertaste is still bad. (Shoot, I just mixed metaphors. Sorry.)

I learned that when I blog spontaneously, sometimes if I'm lucky it's good. When I'm blogging on demand, so to speak, well, it can get a little stale.

Mostly, I want to thank Alicia Chenaux for getting this challenge organized and motivating everyone to blog every day, including creating a massive blog roll of participants. I loved getting to know new bloggers.

The girl deserves a GINORMOUS appreciation party! Who's throwing it? (We can jitterbug around my aquarium if we have to.)

So anyway, instead of getting all emotional, I want to talk -- in my usual roundabout way -- about Fred the Asshole Parakeet and what we can learn from him.

I logged into Second Life this morning with three goals: 1) to find out how my friend Galene/Opheila/Hera's RL job interview went yesterday; 2) to wrap up The Storybook Hunt; and 3) to hit the hunt at Retrology (info HERE).

Instead, I ended up standing in my beach house for something like five hours (bald and topless if you need a visual) dealing with all kinds of mess.

Here's the thing, beautiful readers. I'm a huntress. Just call me Emerald the Huntress from now on, and if I have to run around in a loin cloth with a bow and arrow to prove it, I will. I have a low tolerance level for unnecessary Second Life drama. And if I'm offending you right now by calling your drama unnecessary, well, so be it.

I love you. I hate to see you hurting. But I also hate to see a virtual world affecting your life SO PROFOUNDLY. And I'm talking to about 19 people here, not just one. If you happen to be one of them, well, there are other more deeply immersed people in Second Life who are probably much more qualified to offer you helpful advice. I'm not one of them.

I'm not playing the violin here because I dug the grave that I'm subsequently lying in, but my real life is a big damn mess at the moment. So I come to Second Life to play, laugh and hunt.

I'm not paying Second Life 90 bucks a year for pain, agony and angst.

And if I've just made you mad, at least hear me out until the end, OK? Because Fred has something to say to you.

So yeah, that leads me to Fred the Asshole Parakeet.

But first, a photo break:



Still laughing. From the Curio Obscura blog: "It takes six zeppelins and four propellers just to keep it up! Includes clockwork ballroom with porcelain dancers. Choose your own colour, bows, flowers, and style!"

When I put on this hair, it rocketed my ARC from 500 to 1900. HA HA!

OK. Back to Fred:

I'm unfortunately shacking up with my parents while I'm in between jobs. (I have to keep throwing in this detail for any new readers.) And we have a parakeet named Fred in our kitchen that we've had since I was about 24. So, um, the bird is OLD. And angry.

Being the all-American family we are, we also have a television in our kitchen. Fred's cage is right by the television, which my father insists on keeping on The Weather Channel, FoxNews, or the Major League Baseball network.

Combine that with the fact that my father is losing his hearing. And he used to be a drill sergeant in the Army. And he's just loud anyway. And now so is that damn television.

Now add the fact that my parents currently are being audited by the IRS. That's always fun. And they've never been shy with adult language. So the four-letter words are flying -- at high volume -- in my house pretty much all day, every day.

So, long story long, Fred the Asshole Parakeet screams out obscenities, weather forecasts and politicians' names all day. It gets really really tiring. I don't want to hear the F-word while I'm trying to eat my morning Cheerios. I just don't.

Blessedly, my parents have been out of the house a lot lately. My mom works. My father doesn't, but he's in post-surgery physical rehab right now. God bless those therapists who work him to the point of exhaustion three times a week. If they could just shoot him with an elephant tranquilizer before they send him home, that would be awesome. *contemplates a bribe*

So anyway, I'm wandering around our empty house one day, turning off lights and closing toilet lids so the chi doesn't get sucked down the drain (it's a feng shui thing; Google it if you have to) and suddenly I realize, damn, it is LOUD in this house. I don't know why they insist on blaring that television all day long, even when they're gone. And no wonder the bird is so pissed.

As soon as I had the "damn, it's loud" epiphany, I turned the kitchen television channel from baseball to classical music on the Music Choice channels (and turned the volume down about six notches).

And guess what? After a few stunned minutes, Fred the Asshole Parakeet started to sing.

This was a new and amazing occurrence in our house. We didn't know Fred could sing. He can curse in English and Spanish and yell "DICK CHENEY!", "CUBS WIN!" and "HEAT INDEX!" but he's never really burst into song.

My mom came home from work and said, "My God, is Fred SINGING???"

My dad came home from rehab and said, "WHO TURNED THE GOD-DAMN CHANNEL?"

(Sigh.)

Whenever they leave now, I go downstairs and "turn the god-damn channel." Sometimes Fred listens to Classical Masterpieces. Sometimes he listens to Light Classical. Once I tried Jazz but got loud protesting squawks. And now I really think he's leaning toward New Age these days.

Fred sings a lot now. And that makes me kind of teary. (And it's not just because I'm a little hopped up on Midol and gin at the moment.) I'm glad, during what have GOT TO BE the golden years of Fred's soon-to-be legendary existence, that he finally got to sing a little.

God did not intend for birds to scream, "KISS MY ASS!" and "NORTH KOREA!" all day. He gave them the gift of flight (which believe me, I always feel guilty about when I see a caged bird) and he gave them the gift of song.

My parents say, "Well look at that! He finally learned to sing in his old age!"

No, beloved parents, he finally found something beautiful that made him WANT to sing.

Photo break:



(still laughing)

The moral to my story: Second Life should make your heart sing, lovely people. I'm not being a sap. That's what it was created for -- so you could build a world that brings your imagination to life, that gives you everything you've wanted in your real life but maybe haven't yet found there -- be it companionship, a best friend, a stylish wardrobe, an island paradise, beautiful butterflies that bring tears to your eyes, or even a rawkin' aquarium!

To all my wonderful, drama-laden friends, I love you so much. I wish I could take your pain away from you and smooth out the wrinkles in your Second Lives. I can't though. I said in an earlier post that the only gift I have to give at the moment are my words.

So my words to you are these: I love you. I want you to be happy. I want your heart to sing. If you're not singing in Second Life -- and Fred the Asshole Parakeet backs me up on this -- turn the volume down. Fill your Second Life with beautiful music -- in whatever form you choose that to be -- and get rid of the mindless chatter, the hateful words, the he said/she said, the echoes of your painful past. If you need a hand, I will take you to a really beautiful place and we can cry and laugh and dance and catch butterflies and do whatever we need to do to get it out of your system once and for all. We can leave your pain behind there. You can spread your wings and start all over.

We unite for so many noble causes here. We take stands for so many charities and movements. When are we all going to stand together and proclaim a drama-free week in SL?

Someone make a "No More Drama" T-shirt, a skin, a hairstyle, something.

I for one will wear it and run laps around the grid.

Day 5: In case you didn't know . . .

Chickens scare the bejeezus out of me.

Not a good time to be poultryphobic in SL.

Everyone's talking about their sionChickens. I guess I would like to raise them just to throw them at people.

Besides run screaming away from chickens, I think the only other things I did today were to rape and pillage the Novocaine hair sale (OK, that sounded wrong), flip a lucky board for someone, and pack up my purple house and Jon's duck. Woo hoo! You have goosebumps from all the excitement! I know it!

I think that's about all I have to say. This blogger challenge is kicking my tush. When it's over, I don't think I want to look at this blog again for a long time.

I'm off to buy some Excedrin for this splitting, splitting headache I currently have.

Ciao.

Day 4 ½: I had a perfect day (Warning: partial noodity ahead!)

(Pictured: Necklace, Pendant and Earrings in Ode in Water and Sky, by Random Calliope)

I got a gift tonight that literally made me put my hand over my REAL-LIVE mouth and gape at my computer in AWED DISBELIEF.

I couldn't find an outfit to do it justice, so I ran outside in, well, a piece of tape and prayed to God that my neighbors weren't home.

Thank you, Random Calliope!

YES, (all you other) men of the world! Jewelry makes us take off our clothes! Maybe if I just say it out loud, I'll stop getting things like TOOL KITS for Valentine's Day.

When I logged in and saw "Emerald's Box of Awesome" waiting for me, I was torn between clapping and getting all teary, so I did both.

I've never gotten a box of awesome before. I've never even gotten a bag of awesome. I wish I could make an appropriately awesome thank-you gift. (Hand-painted square prim? :\)

All I really have to give people are my words, and I'm kind of at a loss for those right now. The only one that comes to mind is . . .

YAY!

*jumps up and down . . . but, um, not too vigorously*

And yes, I finally figured out how to use my Windlight settings and as you can probably tell by now, I'm quite taken with the Sailor's Delight sky. But actually, this set looks spectacular at midnight:

(Bracelet in Ode in Water in Sky. Ring in Ode in Twilight. Don't look at my underwear!)

The pose is called La Prude from the Inspirations set at Pffiou! (ha ha!).

The Sloane hair is the 10L Vendor Support Month gift from Philotic Energy. And you'll find the duct tape bra in the $1L Homeless set at Abnormal Ms. I knew it would come in handy some day!

*blows Random a huge kiss and runs in the house to put on a robe*

Day 4: Everybody Wang Chung tonight

I promise I'm not going to do this every day, but this (actually sort of distorted and weird-looking) picture didn't make it into yesterday's Virgin Mary post. If I keep blogging regularly, maybe I'll declare my Wednesdays to be Get Your Fashion On with The Virgin Mary Day!

(Yes, this challenge, albeit very cool, is wiping me out. I'm gonna need a blog vacation when it's over.)

The picture above shows the gorgeous Sagrado Corazon tattoo (also available in b/w) from Otaku Designs. I think it's a steal at 100L. There's also a beautiful Sacred Heart on the chest, unfortunately not shown. Try not to look at my freaky feet. I'm not sure what the hell is going on there.

Because of this tattoo, I actually stalked the lucky chair at Diesel Works just to win the Dyna Pose Set that was in it, mainly because that set has some nice "hey, look at my back" poses.

The good news for you is that the Dyna set, along with Diesel Works' Drama set, is now FREE at the new Fab Free Headquarters. I was amazed when I stopped by there this week -- soooo many generous designers, including Beauty Avatar and Exile, have stocked that place with really fantastic gifts. They certainly don't call it Fab Free for nothing.

Some other quick updates:

-- I went to check out the new "adult continent" Zindra to see what it was all about. The link I just gave you takes you to a Linden blog that details the various areas. I started at Kama City, but WOW, it was jam-packed with people who were apparently just standing around talking, most of them in open chat. I TPed in on an uncomfortable discussion about "age play," couldn't walk because of lag, quickly cammed around, didn't see much except for an impressive (and empty?) glass building, and took off.

Next I went over to the outer end of Cinyris Island -- touted as "a premier vacation spot!" -- but, um, it looked a lot like Tucson, Arizona, (insert stomach heaves here) to me (minus the murky looking ocean):



OH YEAH, BABY! I know you've been missing that Obscene cleavage! I haven't worn that skin in a while. LOL - the face looks mean. "Don't mess with the Queen of Zindra!"

My chest slider is only set to a modest 58, by the way. Who needs major slider action with that awesome Obscene shading? (Still patiently waiting for the grand opening of the new Obscene main store at the end of Crush Row -- unless it's been permanently postponed.)

That's about all I have to say about Zindra. Lots of deserted places for cleavage shots and a good place for some interesting eavesdropping. *Bows and accepts the Travel Writer of the Year award*

-- That Spring Daisy Dress in that photo might actually make the "keeper" cut as I continue to slice and dice my inventory. (I got it down from 87K to 82K today!) A Lucky Kitty Crew member spotted it in the Midnight Mania board at Abnormal Ms. and asked the group to help her lock it down. At the time, I just slapped the board to help a sister out, but when I got the dress this morning I actually REALLY liked it! It comes with two versions of that daisy necklace. The lockdown goal is 100 hits. So if you want it, get your 99 alts together and spank that board!

If you do end up smacking those daisies around, be sure to grab this made-me-laugh-and-then-made-me-feel-guilty-for-laughing Homeless outfit there for $1L, if a duct tape bra and a newspaper skirt are your thing:



Note that the bruised skin is not included. *barfs*

The shoes I'm wearing on my double-jointed ankles in that photo are some of my favorite shoes ever and worth every linden. They're texture-change gladiator sandals from Sakka's Studio, and I thank Beanie Canning and her awesome blog for alerting me to their majestic presence.

They're menu-driven with many color choices and there are no prim toes in these, which frankly is a good thing in my book. Seriously, if you're zooming in on my toes, go take your foot fetish somewhere else.

If you're on a budget and don't want to spend 360L for the multi-color option, individual colors are for sale at 120L each. I say go with beige (shown above) because it actually looks like a light shimmery gold, and metallics = neutral in the summertime, honey. You can never go wrong with strappy gold sandals. (Unless you're a guy.)

I'm tired. I don't have a witty way to end this blog. My stomach is kind of messed up (maybe you could tell from all the heaving and barfing) and I feel kind of sluggish so . . .

the end