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Thursday, June 11, 2009

Flashbacks (insert witty headline here)

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I grew up in the Age of Atari.

When I was a kid, it was all about where we were all playing Space Invaders after school, or whose mom was taking us to the arcade on the weekend, or how high our Ms. Pac Man scores were and whether or not we had those coveted Pac Man shoelaces.

(Reads that sentence again. Yeah, my English teacher definitely wouldn't like it.)

I miss those innocent days. And living in my childhood home is bringing back a lot of those memories. (Yesterday I found a dusty box with my UNICORN COLLECTION in it! Now if I could just find my Lisa Frank sticker album!)

Maybe that's why I'm suddenly gravitating to all these really bright goofy outfits in Second Life. There's nothing subtle about them. They're fun. They're a little obnoxious. They pop with the colors we loved in the '80s.

So that's my excuse for camping for 60 minutes today to get that Skelly Girl outfit up there at Volt. And actually I wasn't completely present in that photo. I have a list of RL household cleaning chores that's as long as my arm right now. Until I find a job, just call me Cinderella (still waiting for my prince). 

So if you wanna know the truth, RL me was scrubbing the toilet at that particular moment in time.

Fortunately for you, I didn't take a picture of that.

But speaking of the '80s and Atari, I'm thinking about my past and feeling slightly better about my Second Life affection. I am not an animal! I was programmed to love pixels! Because after Atari came the fascinating Commodore 64 and my favorite game Zork! [OK, now skip a few years.] I think my next passionate computer love affair was with The Sims. And the first time I logged on to Second Life, I remember thinking, "OOH! It's like The Sims but better!"

So yeah, big-time flashbacks these week, mainly because my 20-year high school reunion weekend starts tomorrow.

*wails, "I DON'T WANNA GO!!!!!"*

I took a poll on Facebook and I'm pretty sure I'm the only one going who isn't married with a bunch of beautiful kids. Two years ago I could have gone in some Loubies and a slinky dress and at least bragged about my big impressive job, I guess. But now all I have to talk about is . . . my new pet turtle? I don't know.

Maybe I'll wear the Loubies and a slinky dress anyway and just lie my ass off.

My only consolation is that I think I've aged better than a lot of the mean chicks I hated in high school. I have seen their pictures. Fake tans and plastic surgery haven't helped them. 

Meanwhile, I love my big white (and still original!) teeth. They're FABULOUS! That's what being engaged to a dentist will get you (even if the engagement goes to hell). You don't believe me, check my 1st Life tab in my profile. (Yeah, I posted my pic because ALL MY FRIENDS WERE DOIN' IT!)

Bow down before my glowing smile! (And thank you, Crest Whitestrips, seriously.)

(OK sorry. It's not arrogance. I'm slowly being brainwashed by this positive-thinking game I've been playing.)

And I'm still slender. Don't take that the wrong way -- I only list it as a positive because a few of my friends have e-mailed me and said, "Please don't be freaked when you see all the weight I've gained." Aww! QUIT IT! 

I would trade my Size 0 any day for a loving husband and beautiful children (not to mention a grown-up chest). 

They don't know how good they have it.

So yeah, as for me, I'm still spindly. Spindly spinster. I do plan on stuffing the hell out of my bra though.

That's all I've got going on for the high school reunion: teeth, turtle and still Spanx-less thighs. Beyond that, I'm pretty pathetic.

Speaking of weight -- YES, I'm big on the "speaking of" segue; you'll live -- the other day I overheard a prominent and much-loved SL designer bashing RL overweight people, or "fatties" as she called them, and I was somewhat shocked and saddened. My first instinct was to boycott her store and post the chat in this blog. But then I wondered if doing that would be just as juvenile as someone bashing, banning, muting or defriending me because of opinions I express in this blog.

(I used to be an op-ed editor at a newspaper. When it comes to debating, I'm used to friendly banter or, at most, heated letters to the editor. Notes that call me the C-word and say "YOU SUCK" are beyond my point of reference. But thanks for reading!)

Plus, I really love that designer's work. :\

Believe it or not, I agonized over whether or not I should boycott her store for a while before I had to remind myself NOT TO TAKE SECOND LIFE SO GAWD-DAMN SERIOUSLY.

I'll admit that my opinion of that designer has plummeted several notches. And we could get in a big discussion here about whether a comment like hers falls in the "opinion" or "discrimination" category. But you know what, at the end of the day, I'm sticking with my attitude that it's all pixels. Breaking a sweat over whether to boycott fake clothes that will vanish the day I finally kill my Second Life account . . . well, it doesn't deserve the space in my brain, frankly. And maybe my attitude differs vastly from yours and maybe it'll tick you off. My apologies, but YAY for freedom of speech! (At the moment, Linden Labs isn't charging for blog rights!)

My point: If Second Life is triggering emotions beyond joy and delight, it's time to step away from your keyboard. It's here for fun and fantasy, not stress and tears. If you want to cry, stress out and even puke over something, do what I did and curl up in a little ball and sob over your upcoming high school reunion. But for the love of God, don't cry over Second Life. There are too many real things to worry about.

So on that note, I'll hypocritically sign off with this picture of me STRESSING over Prize Three (3 of 3) in the Look What the Cat Brought hunt. The clue on the oh-so-fabulous Hunt Locations blog was "Where the dead live." So here I am in the cemetery. And nothing.

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I finally gave up and moved on to Prize Four, where I proceeded to strain my brain over "2 of 2." Clue: "Climb higher! You can't miss it!"

Um, I did climb higher. And I totally missed it. :(

Does anyone have a CHEAT SHEET for this hunt?

*runs like hell from all the cheat sheet haters*

5 comments:

Lizzie Lexington said...

Yay fun post. I think i am going to take your advice and take a few days off from the keyboard. Hugs lady.

Peter Stindberg said...

1) I never went to ANY reunion. Ever. I was so glad to not need to see those creeps ever again. And to see the fat, balding, 3-times divorced bank employees or insurance company workers of today I have no desire.

2) There are men who LIKE small breasts. I am one of them, there are many others.

3) I loved my Commodore 64 - it's still on the attic at my parents.

Hang in there Em!

Emerald Wynn said...

@ Lizzie: Lady, as always that comment was primarily directed at myself, but you will be missed. Have fun this weekend at your party! I'm gonna write a post about how you had to call my MOM the other day when I was locked out of my house. She asks about you now - "How's Elizabeth?" LOLOL! If only she knew that I met you on "that game" (GASP!).

*/me shakes her petite chest in Peter's face and says, "Hubba Hubba!"* HA HA! :D

Lizzie Lexington said...

OMG i looked at the dress again and you know, Lizzie could pull that off minus the shoes of course. I'll be in world tomorrow though, I promised Ms. Gogo I would blog the fashion expo for her. But tonight I need to avoid SL...i may be a bit tipsy LOL.

Kristian said...

Yeah I totally agree, where is the innocent time?! Well, I can't really say I miss Atari (loved it!) cause SL is much better ;) And about the reunion, no worries ;) I survived it, so nuffin to be scared loool Sure all others talk about their kids and husband/wifes, but well, who cares?! It's not so bad to be single ;)